Fire & Gasoline: A Shifter Romance (Audax Pack Book 1)

by Colette Rhodes

  I toyed with the idea of answering, telling them where to shove their offer. As much as my parents' disregard for me angered me, there was a minuscule part of me that always had hope that they'd come around one day. That they’d realize that their Alpha was a manipulative piece of shit who had punished me since I was twelve for something I couldn't control.

  That was the minuscule part of me that wanted to reply, wanted my mother to know that I was fine. Which was dumb because she hadn’t even asked about my wellbeing in her email, so it obviously didn’t matter to her.

  I carefully put the lid on my travel mug and shoved my phone into the pocket of my jeans. I had a life here. A job. A roof over my head. Fledgling friendships. My roommates were nice enough. Neither my parents, nor my old pack, had any right to encroach on that.

  “Wren?” Madison called softly from the living room. “There’s a package here for you.”

  Fates, surely this wasn’t my parents or my old pack fucking with me? No, I covered my scent almost constantly. They had no way of knowing where I was.

  I hadn’t ordered anything either, though. Online shopping was a confusing quagmire I had no interest in exploring.

  Madison wandered into the kitchen holding a bulky package in her arms.

  “Early Christmas present?” she asked, handing it over. I put my coffee on the bench and accepted the parcel. It wasn’t as heavy as it looked.

  “Not that I know of,” I muttered, sniffing it as discreetly as I could. It felt like clothes. Smelled like clothes. Aside from the fact that I definitely hadn’t ordered clothes, there was nothing suspicious about it.

  “Who sent it?” Madison asked. “Check the label.”

  “John Jones.” I snorted. That was for sure made up. I ripped through the packaging with ease and pulled out a dark green down parka. It was warm, waterproof, practical, and the best present I’d ever gotten.

  There was a generic card saying that it had been purchased as a gift from ‘John Jones’, but no invoice or anything.

  “Ooh, those are expensive. Maybe you have a secret admirer,” Madison sighed, giving me a dreamy look. “You’re so pretty.”

  It was too early, and I was too weirded out by everything that happened to deal with the fawning right now.

  “I need to get to work,” I mumbled, pulling the tags off the parka and slipping it on. Far be it from me to look a gift horse in the mouth. It was cold outside. I now had a coat that would keep me warm. Problem solved.

  I shot Madison an apologetic smile as I made my escape. Maybe my secret admirer would see me walking to work wearing the coat. I just hoped it wasn’t Derek. He was sweet, but proving difficult to get rid of, and my wolf wanted to claw his face off.

  Ghosting people had been a lot easier when I worked at a truck stop. I may not have thought this whole thing through when I hung out with Derek and his friends for the first time.

  I sighed as I approached the door. I could not catch a fucking break this morning. Despite my apprehension, I exited my front door confidently, not showing the wolf shifter who was very much waiting on the stoop for me he bothered me.

  His smell was foreign, definitely not one of the two wolves who lived near the campus. His eyes were fixated on me, but not in a sexual way. He was definitely giving me an appraising once-over that made my wolf growl in irritation, but his body language was non-confrontational.

  He was leaning against the porch railing and I mirrored his posture, leaning against the wall and keeping my stance relaxed. I doubted he’d try anything in front of witnesses anyway — the girls who lived next door were pressed up against the window, practically salivating. Dude had a kind of Idris Elba vibe going on and obviously attracted a lot of female attention. I could see why. With his black skin, dark golden eyes, and the way he filled out the jeans and sweater he was wearing, he was definitely easy on the eyes. Even if he was at least twenty years older than me.

  Like all wolf shifters, he was at least six-foot and his muscles had muscles.

  I allowed myself to enjoy the dirty looks one girl was giving me through the window before turning my attention to the behemoth in front of me.

  “Now why would a strange wolf I don’t know be hanging around outside my house, hm?”

  “Why is a strange wolf we don’t know living in Carson without permission?” he shot back, his lips curling slightly. My wolf was alert, on edge, but she found nothing threatening about his demeanor. Yet. “What’s your name?”

  “Yours first. It’s neutral territory, is it not?” I asked, cocking my head to the side.

  “Tobias Perry.” His lips twitched slightly. “It has been deemed neutral territory. All shifters are supposed to notify the Council before attending the college. Yet, here you are,” he said, raising his brow at me like a disappointed teacher.

  “Wren. I don’t attend the college. No one explained the rules to me,” I replied dismissively, shrugging a shoulder.

  “Frankly, the two Audax Pack wolves that live here should have mentioned something,” Tobias grumbled, looking put out. “Have you met them yet?”

  I shook my head.

  “I suppose they might not know you’re here. You’re good at hiding your scent,” he conceded, tipping his head. Although I was apparently in the wrong by not having permission to be here, he was keeping a respectful distance and a demonstrably relaxed posture. “Your scent lingers around your home though.” His eyes flicked up at the house behind me.

  There wasn’t much I could do about that. Aside from showering here, I also worked out in the living room, sweating off the lavender, and I didn’t reapply it to sleep. It wasn’t a perfect system, but I wasn’t hiding either. Just making life easier for myself.

  “So, what, you’re going to arrest me now? Put me in shifter prison?” I drawled, crossing my arms and propping one leg against the wall behind me. My wolf snarled defensively. He was a big fucker, but he was on his own. I could take him.

  “I’m not crazy enough to try to detain George and Eloise Calvin’s granddaughter,” he chuckled.

  “You’ve got the wrong wolf,” I replied, frowning. “I don’t have grandparents.”

  “Everyone has grandparents,” he scoffed. “Yours are the former Alpha and Luna of my pack, the Fortis Pack. Your uncle is the current Alpha. I’m a centurion.”

  “I don’t know my grandparents,” I amended. “If mine are still alive, I doubt they know I exist.” My dad’s parents did, but they lived in India and I’d only met them once as a child.

  Mom’s family didn’t follow the paradigm, so she never spoke of them. Though when I was a kid, she’d always tell me about how she loved to play in the snow in winter when she was young. All I knew was that she was from somewhere cold.

  But surely my submissive mother wasn’t the daughter and sister of dominant Alpha wolves? That would make her the anomaly, not me.

  “They didn’t,” he admitted, a sheepish look flashing across his face. “Until about ten minutes ago when I called them.”

  “So you’re basing this theory on what exactly?” I sighed. At this rate, I’d be late for work. Not that I’d be punished for it or anything, but I liked to respect my commitments.

  “Your scent. I grew up with Heather. I know what she smelled like. Yours is obviously a mix of both your parents, but I’d recognize her scent anywhere. Besides, you have your mother’s, you know, exact face.”

  Well, shit.

  I couldn’t refute either of those points. I blinked slowly. I didn’t want to allow myself to have hope, even as the hope blossomed in my chest. Maybe I wouldn’t be packless forever. I had family out there...

  “Why did my mother leave your pack?”

  He grimaced. “That’s a conversation for your grandparents. They’re hoping you’ll come visit over winter break, spend the Tiberinus feast with the pack. Your uncle and his family will be spending it with his mate’s pack so your grandparents will be acting Alpha and Luna.”

  “How do you know I don’t
have a pack of my own to spend it with?” I challenged.

  His eyes darkened. “The Azymus Pack don’t let their wolves go unless they want to.”

  I nodded slowly. It sounded like he had firsthand knowledge, though I couldn’t imagine Heather ever wanted to leave.

  “I can sense your wolf right at the surface, trying to protect you. She’s dominant, fierce as hell. Reminds me of your grandmother’s wolf, you’d like her,” he said, lips tipping up slightly.

  “Where’s your territory?” Complimenting my wolf’s strength was a stroke of genius. She preened, happy he had respected her strength. I suppressed an eye roll.

  “Fortis Pack borders the Kootenay River, it’s a five-hour drive from here.”

  I cringed internally. It’d be a long-ass bus ride then. “I need to go to work now.” I need to think.

  “Let me take you out for a drink later. Strictly platonic,” he added hastily, holding his hands up defensively. “It’ll give you a chance to learn more about the pack. I’m not interested in you like that, I promise. You’re not my mate.”

  He didn’t smell mated, but whatever. Maybe he meant he was seeing someone.

  “Okay. I work at the Coffee at Carson coffee shop at the edge of campus. I get off at four.”

  He tipped his chin respectfully, moving towards the enormous Jeep parked on the side of the road while I set off to work on foot.

  Is this why you always wanted to go north? I asked my wolf. Her head was lying contentedly on her front paws. She hadn’t taken to Tobias straight away, but she was relaxed enough now.

  The coffee shop was only open short hours over winter break since the campus was so quiet. Even with so many staff returning home to visit their families, I could still take some time off to join the Fortis Pack Tiberinus feast next week if I wanted to. I was a little bit tempted.

  Some of my favorite childhood memories were of the winter feasts. I bet it would be more fun with literally any other pack than the one I’d grown up in. For the past two years, I’d celebrated by cooking an elaborate dinner for my roommates. They’d always assumed it was an early Christmas dinner. I never corrected them. Still, after spending the past two years diligently avoiding pack territory, the idea of going there willingly was strange.

  I strode through the coffee shop, nodding at Madison and Ella on my way to the backroom to dump my bag. My thoughts were all over the place as I tied my apron into place.

  I’d been so confident when I arrived in Carson that I could settle here for a while, at least longer than six months, and make a life for myself for a bit. Between the presence of two wolves here who were avoiding me — one of whom smelled like earth-shattering orgasms — and the sudden appearance of another wolf who claimed to be from my mother’s childhood pack, it had been one spanner in the works after another.

  Ugh, plus there was the email from my mom and the reappearance of the Azymus Pack in my life after two years of radio silence.

  “Fucking wolves,” I muttered under my breath, busying myself at the espresso machine.

  ***

  “Come into the kitchen, Wren. Cam, Ella, and Madison have all raved about those cooking skills of yours, let’s see ‘em in action, darlin’,” Jax, the burly cook, called. The coffee shop was quiet with most students home for the holidays, and I had been hanging around the counter twiddling my fingers for the past twenty minutes.

  “What do you want me to make?” I asked, making my way into the small but organized commercial kitchen out back. Jax didn’t try to slip into my non-existent pack. He was more like a Pack Elder. Forever looking out for me and offering me advice, too old to be impressed by my dominance.

  “How about some lunch? I’ll sit down, put my feet up, you make me whatever you fancy. Help yourself to whatever you can find around here,” Jax instructed, gesturing at the kitchen. He wandered out to sit in a booth in the far corner of the coffee shop and pulled out a book. I was surprised he left me here unsupervised.

  I felt the buzz of excitement I only got when I was cooking for people. Making them happy via their stomachs. This I could do. I poked around the kitchen, looking at all the ingredients. Most of it was breakfast or lunch stuff, so I kept things simple but delicious and decided to make pancakes.

  Not just any pancakes, obviously. This was my chance to impress. These would be the Mack Daddy of pancakes.

  So fluffy you could sleep on them

  Bacon crispy enough to break your teeth on

  Enough mascarpone, berries and maple syrup to send anyone into a sugar coma

  Basically, the Holy Trinity.

  Jax left me to it while I whisked the pancake batter, cooked the blueberries and cherries in cornstarch, sugar and vanilla, and grilled the bacon. I practically salivated over the commercial kitchen equipment. The stove was so hot. The stainless steel counters were so clean. I wanted to live in this kitchen.

  It was nice to do something familiar after feeling so off-balance, not just since this morning, but really since I’d moved here. My wolf was happy, yet she wasn’t. I liked it here, yet I didn’t. Nothing ever felt quite right. And while I had barely even picked up trace scents of that delicious smelling wolf since that night we’d both been at the frat party, the smell seemed to be embedded in my memory. I couldn’t forget it. I didn’t want to.

  There was either something unusual about that wolf, or my wolf was losing the plot.

  The presence of all of these wolves in my life had reaffirmed a fact that I had tried to avoid facing for the past two years.

  I was a shifter.

  The animal side of my soul was as much a part of me as the human side. As much as it scared me, I didn’t think I could put off shifting any longer. My wolf deserved freedom as much as I did, and I didn’t think either of us could ever be happy until she had it.

  It had been two years since I’d shifted. Two years since I had allowed my wolf to run free. It’s not like I didn’t want to, but the risks had always been too great. My wolf didn’t give a fuck about taking on an entire pack of wolves to fight for territory if she felt like it was hers. If I’d been able to afford a place of my own, I’d create a den for her that locked from the inside since her wolfy paws couldn’t open doors, but the scratching of her claws and the howling would scare the piss out of my roommates.

  Besides, it had now been so long that I worried that I wouldn’t be able to shift back. I didn’t have a pack, my wolf had no one to ground her. My animal side could take over and then I’d go feral and I would lose my humanity entirely.

  Worryingly, the memory of that wolf’s sandalwood scent seemed to settle her. It was a dangerous thing to rely on.

  I’d been using artificial sandalwood scents as a distraction to placate her. In fact, I’d developed a somewhat disturbing sandalwood fetish. My room now housed a sandalwood candle, oil diffuser, and I’d been spraying everything with a sandalwood linen spray. Nothing quite stacked up to the original — that smell was sex incarnate. I missed it. I couldn’t figure out why he smelled so appealing to me. Maybe it was a biological thing? Like he’d be a good wolf pup daddy? Such a pity that all shifters were assholes.

  I cooked each pancake to perfection and created a stack on the plate, with mascarpone, fruit and bacon between each layer and a little jug of maple syrup on the side. Presentation wasn’t really my strong suit, but I knew it would taste good.

  “Goddamn, darlin’. This looks amazing,” Jax cooed, admiring the stack of pancakes I’d brought over to him. “Now for the taste test…”

  Jax cut a triangle from the pancake and loaded his fork up with all the flavors. His groan of satisfaction was music to my ears.

  “You best believe you’ve got more time in the kitchen in your future,” he said around a mouthful of pancakes.

  "Wren!"

  Derek, the Pretty Human, approached me confidently, his footsteps faltering as he got a little closer and his eyes dropping to my chin. "How are you?"

  “Fine, how are you? Coffee?” I ca
lled back, giving Jax’s shoulder an affectionate squeeze before moving behind the counter. I’d been struggling with my need for touch more than usual lately, and while Derek held no interest to my wolf, I was pretty tempted to rub myself over him just to ease the discomfort. As much as I’d impressed Jax in the kitchen, I was confident they’d still fire me if I started grinding on the customers in the middle of the coffee shop.

  “Wow, thanks Wren,” he replied as if making coffee wasn’t my actual job, propping his hip against the counter and leaning into my space. “Do you want to go out tonight? Me and a few of my buddies are staying in town over winter break, we thought we’d hit up Barson. It’d be so great if you came with us. We could watch the game? Grab some wings?”

  As far as dates went, wings and sports didn't sound so bad, honestly. Usually, it'd be a no-brainer way to get some physical contact, but my wolf was practically howling. What do you want?

  “I have plans tonight,” I said apologetically.

  “Oh. Well are you around over winter break? I’ll be in town the whole time, we could hang out. I’d love to see you.”

  "Text me, and I'll let you know?" I deflected, giving him a coy smile.

  “Okay,” Derek replied enthusiastically. I handed him his coffee, accepting the money he slid across the counter. “I love how chill you are. I wish I was as chill as you. Hopefully, I’ll see you later, Wren.”

  I leaned over the counter on my elbows, watching his retreat, and doing my best to keep the grimace off my face. The adoration was a little exhausting.

  "You going to break that pretty boy's heart?" Jax teased, walking past me to the kitchen with his dishes.

  "I don't think it'll get that far," I mused, noting my wolf's contentment now that Derek had gone.

  Chapter 7

  Archer

  As always, I sat in my truck in the car park overlooking the coffee shop at four pm when the girl the Fates had designed just for me got off work. With the snow piling up on the ground, it was definitely cold enough now that sitting in here with all the windows up so she wouldn’t catch my scent didn’t look weird. Though it still made me feel like a creeper.