Point, Click, Love
Page 24
Annie thought about Ben Weiner, how she’d promised herself never to get in a position like that again. Here alone, in her home, away from Marcus, she had the strength to do it—the strength to say no.
Annie booted up her computer and went to the Olathe Cryobank website. She pulled up her saved searches and found Donor No. 43009—Bob. Without reading over his profile, without giving it another thought, she scrolled down to the big red “purchase” button. And then she clicked.
Chapter Twenty
Match.com
K-K-K-KATIE
NO LONGER LOOKING … YIPPEEEE!
RELATIONSHIPS: Happily Divorced/Happily Dating
HAVE KIDS: Yes
WANT KIDS: I guess I’ll keep the ones I have
MY JOB: Part-time bank teller
MY EDUCATION: Currently attending nursing school. I decided to become a nurse because I wanted to help people—no, really! Also because I heard nursing is recession-proof
FAVORITE HOT SPOTS: Anywhere but Mike’s Pub
TURN-ONS: Flirting, public displays of affection, skinny-dipping, thunderstorms
TURNOFFS: Flirting, public displays of affection, skinny-dipping, thunderstorms (with the wrong person)
IN MY OWN WORDS: I know I’m not supposed to be on Match.com, since I already found someone, but I just wanted to tell all of you who are still looking that there is hope.
I’ve been divorced almost three years and am now in a committed relationship with a man who I love but never want to marry.
I met my man on Match. (Sort of.) So it really works! (Sort of.) Just beware. You may meet the love of your life, or you may meet someone pretending to be the love of your life but who really only wants to screw with your mind and make you question the goodness and decency of humanity. So my advice is this: If it looks too good to be true, it probably is.
USMagazine.com
ARTIST TO THE STARS SAYS VIAGRA SAVED HER MARRIAGE
Celebrity artist Maxine Walters, whose paintings hang in houses belonging to Khloe Kardashian, Justin Timberlake, and Jennifer Aniston, says the prescription medication Viagra saved her marriage to renowned physician Jake Walters.
“We were totally headed to divorce court,” quips the ultratalented Ms. Walters. “It’s amazing what a little blue pill can do for a relationship. It’s never been better!”
Click here to see photos of other stars dealing with erectile dysfunction!
According to Walters, lack of movement in the penile area had an overall negative effect on her relationship with her husband. “He felt bad, I felt bad—it was a tough time for both of us,” she explains. At first, Walters was sure her husband was no longer interested in her. Turns out, he was interested—but just couldn’t get it up!
“I was so embarrassed,” admitted Dr. Walters. “So I withdrew completely. Now I know there are millions of men just like me out there. That’s why I’m speaking out, so maybe I can convince others to come forward and get the help they need.”
Can you match the celebrity with the mortifying detail about their personal life?
Walters insists divorce is no longer in the cards. “I was kind of getting psyched about the whole divorce thing and being single again,” she confides. “All my friends are doing it. But I figure, I might as well stay in it for the kids—and the big hard dick!”
Facebook.com
Claudia Spinelli just gave her two weeks’ notice and starts her new job as development director at Goodwill on Monday. Wondering if working in corporate PR is like smoking—how long does it take for all that nasty black soot to get out of your system???
3 people like this.
KATIE RAWLINGS: Hurray, Claudia! I’m so proud of you!
MAXINE WALTERS: You’ve been doing PR for what … 13 years? So in another 13 years you’ll be pure as the driven snow.
MARJORIE GOODING: Pure as the driven snow, my ass! Claudia, you are going straight to hell, no matter how much phony nonprofit work you do!
ANNIE SAX: Watch it, Marj, or else I’ll take back that fancy new phone I got you and tell my friends at Sprint to cut off your account.
JANIE SPINELLI: Yay, Mom! But does this mean I can’t go to soccer camp in Wisconsin this summer?
STEVE SPINELLI: Don’t worry, sweetheart, I’ve got you covered. Great work, Claudia! And, Marjorie, why don’t you lay off Claudia already? I don’t know why she hasn’t defriended you by now.
CLAUDIA SPINELLI: I’m keeping her on—sort of like a punishment.
MARJORIE GOODING: Don’t use me to absolve your sins! I’m outta here …
OlatheCryobank.com
TESTIMONIAL
I can’t begin to thank Olathe Cryobank enough! Here I am, cradling this little bundle of joy in my arms, and I owe it all to OC. Your database is amazing—and all that information! Well, maybe TOO much information, especially for someone as anal as me. And, of course, your staff was so attentive and understanding. I’d like to give special thanks to Jill in reception, who not only helped me get this gorgeous child but also helped me get a gorgeous boyfriend to go with him! Thanks, Jill! Can’t wait to give little Bob a brother or sister, but I think next time we won’t be needing the Cryobank’s services …
For Harry and Fanny,
the loves of my life
Acknowledgments
Thanks to Ellen Levine, as smart and kind an agent as any writer could hope for.
To my editor, Kelli Fillingim, whose enthusiasm brought this book to print and whose wise editing enriched it.
To Susan Byrnes, Julie Fingersh, Paul Greenberg, Loren Miller, and Greg Sax for their insightful critiques and lifelong friendship.
To Bryan Steiner, who not only helped inspire this story but made life fun during the writing of it.
To my family, who have provided me with endless amounts of love and hilarity. Most of all, thanks to my parents, Patti and Al Shapiro, who dedicated their lives to my siblings and me and always made us feel it was their privilege to do it.
About the Author
MOLLY SHAPIRO is the author of
Eternal City, winner of the Willa Cather
Fiction Prize. She earned a bachelor’s degree in semiotics from Brown and
a master’s degree in creative writing
from Columbia. She has lived and
worked in New York, San Francisco,
Seattle, Boston, and Rome. She
currently lives in Kansas City,
Missouri, with her two children,
Harry and Fanny.