The Amour series (Book 1): The Embers of Amour

by LaRue, Coushatta

  She could take all of them and fall asleep and not have to feel the pain of dying from the virus. It would be an easy and painless death. She closed her hand around the pills and shook her head.

  “I’m sorry…” She whispered shamefully.

  Abby put the pills back into the bottle and took only three. She lay back onto the gurney. . Her eyes had milky foam in them, and her face was very thin and pale. She could feel icy coldness moving through her body, and she swore she could feel something moving around her skull. “This must be it.” She thought. She would die there without anyone ever knowing. She would die alone and confused. And worst die not knowing what had happened to Aaron.

  “I’m sorry Aaron…” She choked on her words as she started to drift off to sleep. Sleep would take her; and when she woke, she would be a monster. However, a monster locked away in this ambulance. She would not hurt anyone; and she hoped if someone found the ambulance, they would not be dumb enough to open it without looking. Abby’s eyes closed slowly, and she took in a deep breath as the darkness took her.

  “What do you mean by that?” Abby’s voice slipped and cracked as she tried to contain her composure.

  Aaron was pacing around the room with his hand over his mouth and his eyes looking everywhere but at her. She watched his arms move slowly, and the muscles in them contracted as he turned towards her finally. She sat on their red sofa with her arms upwards towards her mouth, and her eyes full of worry. She was fit and plump and tan with long auburn hair that was thick and tangled. His dirty blond hair bounced in front of his dark eyes, and he rubbed a hand over his caramel skin as he tried to find the words inside of him.

  His eyes found hers, and he frowned deeply. She could tell he was scared to speak and that it was taking everything for him to find the courage to do so. It made the hole in her stomach larger, and her head fill with fear. He crossed his arms and shook his head. He was wearing his firefighters t-shirt and blue jeans, and Abby stared at the strange red stain on his shirt.

  “They said the virus hasn’t become airborne, but it is spreading faster than they expected. They believe it has somehow gotten into the water supply, and that is how it is spreading.” He voice was shaky yet calm and collected. Abby glanced over at the ten large cases of water Aaron had brought in when he came home, and she frowned.

  Abby felt herself shake as she leaned back onto the sofa, bringing her knees up to her to wrap her arms around them. He saw her and hurried over, sitting next to her. He pulled her closer to him and kissed her on the forehead. She could feel the warmth of his body and smell him. It made her feel better.

  “It will be okay. It still hasn’t gotten here… it is states away. We have time. The government says they have a new vaccine they want to try out and…” His words trailed off with a queer grumble in his throat. She felt him stiffen, and she looked up at him. His eyes were fixed on their flat screen tv. She realized he was looking at himself. She saw them huddled together. They looked so small.

  “And what?” She said almost in a whisper.

  She felt his body shake as he pulled her tightly to him. He placed his nose in her hair and took in a deep breath. It was almost as if he was trying to take in all of her scent, so he would never forget. After a moment of silence, Abby pulled away and glanced up at him with wide eyes. She saw that he had tears in his eyes and that his tan chiseled face had grown pale. It made fear crawl through her bones.

  “What is it, hun?” She asked softly as she brushed her fingers lightly on his cheeks. He grabbed her hand and pressed his lips into the palm of it. He laid his face on her hand then gave her a long hard look. His oval brown eyes looked deep inside of her. Finally he looked away from her and let go of her hand as he took in a deep breath.

  “They are calling it liquidation. It…” His voice cracked, and he cleared his throat, then he continued, “If a town is showing signs of the virus… if a certain amount of people are quarantined and sick then they will.” He shook his head, and she saw him rolling his eyes as he cleared his throat again.

  “They will send the army in to cleanse it.” He looked at her and hoped she would understand what he meant so he would not have to explain it more. And she did. Her stomach was twisting in knots, and she felt lightheaded. She leaned forward, closing her eyes.

  “You mean they are going to kill them?” He did not answer, so she looked back at him, and his face said it all.

  “Fire apparently kills the virus. They’re going to start the liquidations tonight. The guys at the station are all stocking up on food and M.R.E.’s from the army store down town. People are talking about going up to the mountains to hide.” He told her, his voice becoming less scared and stronger. She could hear a hint of suggestion in his voice, though she didn’t provoke it.

  “But you just said the virus is states away. That we are fine here. We are going to be okay… right? That is what you told me… ” She turned towards him and put her hands onto his arms and squeezed.

  He looked at her with narrowed eyes, and there was a sadness in them. He was hiding something, and she knew it. She reached up to his face and touched it. He felt cold. She begged him for an answer with her tear filled blue eyes and chewed at her lip.

  “Sometimes I’m not always right…” He said flatly with the shakiness coming back to his voice.

  Chapter two

  Abby woke to the sound of rain softly tapping on the roof of the ambulance. She felt a chill run down her back and saw only darkness as her dull blue eyes opened. Her eyes adjusted to the darkness in the vehicle, and she stared at the roof and listened to the rain with doubt in her mind.

  Abby felt so restless that she was not even sure if she was awake or still dreaming. She was very cold and stiff. Her head was aching, and she was hungry. She pulled herself up in agony and felt more aches in her body. Bones cracked as she moved. Her hand was stinging.

  She could not understand how she was still alive or why she had not turned yet. She looked out the windows and saw the night. She had slept all day. It had to be midnight or maybe after. She reached for her bandaged leg but did not touch it. Her hands were shaking, and her vision blurred with tears. She was still alive, but it did not make any sense.

  Abby brushed her fingers over the bandage and cringed at the pain that followed. She searched for the aspirin in the dark. She took two pills from the bottle and then grabbed the water bottle. She used the last bit of water to swallow the pills. Her throat was tight, and her stomach was aching. She closed her eyes and placed her left hand onto her sweaty forehead. She wondered if she was running a fever. She felt sick and so tired.

  A loud sound outside the ambulance made Abby’s eyes fly open. It was a cooing sound followed by metal scraping on something. Her heart stopped, and she felt sweat start to drip down her forehead as her skin turned hot. She stayed quiet and dared not to move. Something was outside the ambulance, moving, touching the sides of it. She began to reach around her for anything sharp when she heard the cooing turn into a groaning sound.

  She started to grit her teeth, a habit that always annoyed Aaron, but a habit that she could never break. Her heart was pounding, her wound was throbbing, and her right hand was shaking. She felt more aware than she had been before, even though she was very hungry and thirsty. Something hit the side of the ambulance causing her to jump. She threw her hands over her mouth and forced herself not to scream.

  Abby swallowed hard and looked down at herself. She was covered in her own blood. She had dragged herself to that ambulance, and the smell of blood had to be everywhere. She started to breathe heavily as her eyes darted around. The thing outside sounded as if it was circling the ambulance, groaning, trying to find a way in. Abby began to sob.

  She grabbed the sheets on the gurney and held them tightly. She was safe, she knew that, but she felt very alone and frightened. The groaning was right next to her now, to her left, and the metal scraping on metal sound was louder. Suddenly the world around her fell silent and all that s
he could hear was the rain tapping on the roof again.

  She heard her breathing, her heart beating in her ear, and her stomach growling. She let out a scream and covered her face as the thing outside started to bang on the side of the ambulance growling. It sounded as if it had some kind of tool; and every time it hit the ambulance, it shook the van and everything in it. Abby screamed and held onto the gurney crying.

  “Please… Please…” she muttered as she sobbed.

  It banged and growled, letting out an awful screeching sound. She fell onto the gurney and rocked her body back and forth as the gurney shook. Her wound was starting to burn, making things much worse. She held onto the gurney for what felt like forever as the monster outside tried to get inside. Finally, after some time it stopped banging on the ambulance. Abby listened to the rain and the sound of heavy breathing.

  She heard it shuffling around for a few minutes. She dared not move. After some time, the growling became something in the distance and was replaced by thunder and lightning. Abby rolled onto her side and ignored the pain shooting through her bones. She bundled up into a ball and stuffed her head into her hands and sobbed, until her throat was raw, and no more tears would fall.

  She wanted to die. She wanted the pain in her body and heart to stop. She wanted the memories of Aaron to quit haunting her. She wanted the wound on her leg to disappear, and she wanted to be strong and brave. She lay there petrified and feeling so fragile. She was cold, but her insides burned. Her stomach growled as she tasted blood in the back of her mouth. She felt wetness between her legs as she urinated on herself, and she closed her eyes. She was mortified by what was happening to her and just wanted it all to stop.

  This time when she fell asleep, she did not dream. She could hear the thunder and feel it vibrate through her body as she slept. When she woke, it was not raining anymore. The sun was shining through the windows down on her, and she could hear a bird singing somewhere. Her mouth was dry; and when she opened her lips, one split. Her stomach was empty. Her head was spinning due to the immense pressure in it. She could barely feel anything else, and she was very weak. When she moved her hand to rub her eyes, her skin felt cold and clammy. Her eyes blurred, and her heartbeat was faint. She was sure she was dying.

  After rubbing the sleep from her eyes, she lightly touched her necklace. The stones under her fingers felt strange yet comforting. She thought of Aaron’s oval brown eyes and how they looked after they would make love. She rubbed her raw nose and blinked. She wanted to stay there, sleep more, and maybe finally die. But as she held her necklace, she remembered how it felt to be loved and to love; and she felt a flutter in her heart.

  It took all Abby had in her to sit up. Her head spun, and her vision turned black, but she held herself up. She tasted bile in the back of her throat; and when she coughed, she spat up something red and green that looked like mucus. She rubbed it on the sheet and smacked her lips. She was hungry and knew she had to find food and water, or she would surely die. She rocked softly as her tired eyes trailed down to the wound she had bandaged. She could see some blood trying to come through it.

  She laid her hand on it. She could not feel any pain, just a slight tingly feeling. She tried to swallow, but it hurt. She was not dead or turned, and now her other survival instincts were kicking in. She needed to find food and water now. First she needed to collect everything she could in the ambulance so that she could medicate herself. She searched around sluggishly for a bag and found purchase when she found a black backpack under the gurney. It was heavy; and she almost fell off the gurney, pulling it onto her lap. She groaned as she opened it then started to take out the contents.

  She pulled out medical books and notebooks and then a wallet. She dropped everything on the floor but the wallet. She stared at it with despair and chose to open it. Inside was an ID for a young female college student with short black hair, small blue eyes, and dark skin. Her name had been Tonya Feeling. She was smiling, and it made Abby sad. She closed the wallet and placed it softly next to her. She grabbed everything she could from gauze to ointment to small scissors. She put the two aspirin bottles in the bag and a few bottles of peroxide.

  Abby took in a deep breath and smelt blood, urine, and something else that was very foul. She knew it was her wound. She pulled the backpack on, and it felt weighed down on her like a sack of bricks. She lifted herself slowly towards the door and licked her dry lips, tasting the blood on them. She breathed in deeply as she tried to think of a plan.

  When she got to the end of the gurney, she tried to figure out how she was going to get out and walk. She looked around for something to use as a crutch but saw nothing. She reached for the doors and opened them. Cold wet air poured in with the sun, and it felt sticky on her skin. She could still hear the bird singing in the distance, and the sky was clear blue. The ground was covered in puddles, and the smell of fresh rain was everywhere, but it did not mask the smell coming from her. She felt very uncomfortable as she moved. Her underwear had dried. She felt dirty and was disgusted that she had wet herself.

  She waited for a moment as she scanned the area looking for any movement. She saw nothing and almost felt secure, until she remembered the sounds from last night banging on the side of the van. She knew it was still around somewhere lurking. Her eyes stared straight at the door she had come out of from the school and looked into the darkness. She had the same feeling she had once before… as if something was watching her.

  She pushed herself towards the edge and took the chance of stepping on both of her feet. As she expected, pain ripped through her left leg like a bullet. She grabbed the ambulance door. It was all she could do not to fall over. She pulled her left foot up and gasped for air. Her lungs were burning. Her skin was starting to itch, and she wanted to vomit. She needed something to use as a crutch if she wanted to walk. She looked around the area, searching for something, anything that could help her.

  After a few minutes of looking, she saw the strangest thing across the courtyard. It looked like a hockey stick lying across a bench. She decided quickly that it was what she would go for. She pressed her lips together as she slowly moved towards the ground, so she could drag herself again. Her eyes stayed on the dead army man close to her. She was paranoid that it would jump up. She started to pull herself when she remembered her finger was broken. She let out a cry as she pushed it onto the concrete. She looked down at it and rolled her eyes and laughed sadly. She pointed it upwards but still felt pain as she started moving.

  She kept her eyes everywhere; In front of her, behind her, and to her sides. Even though she saw nothing, heard nothing, anything could happen; and she knew that. She looked at the school and the broken windows and doors and then at the burn marks on some parts. She remembered the liquidations that the government had started. She was almost to the hockey stick when the sound of breaking glass caught her attention. She stopped and goosebumps rose on her flesh. The glass snapped under something. Abby did not have to look to see what it was.

  She heard the low growl before it started to run for her. It was a tall, thick, dead man. And to Abby’s horror it was holding a large wrench. Its skin was black and green; and its eyes were pitch black. Part of its face had been badly burnt, and he was missing part of his torso. Abby did not have time to think. It was screeching and running towards her now.

  Abby pulled herself up and wobbled on her feet. Her left knee buckled from the pain from her bite marks, but she stayed standing and started running. Her heart was pounding in her chest. By the time she got to the hockey stick, she could not stand any longer. She crashed onto the bench, smashing her wound onto it and her head on the steel back. The world around her spun for a moment before the undead got to her.

  She pulled the hockey stick up and hit the infected in the head, not once but twice, and then again, and again. It still came at her. She held it back with her right leg as it clawed at her and let out a shriek so loudly that Abby’s ears popped. Abby shoved the hockey stick through his
rotting neck and flung her body into the infected. They both landed on the ground. She felt the cold metal of the wrench on her.

  Abby managed to pull herself upwards, grabbing the wrench, and screaming she slammed it into its head. And just like that it was over. The thing was actually dead, and she was still alive. She pushed herself off it and moved towards the bench. She wrapped her arms around one of the legs and started to sob again. She felt so much pain in her whole body, and her head was hurting so badly that it made her vomit. A mixture of water and blackish blood came out. She put her hand over her mouth and started to cough violently. It felt as if she would cough her lungs up.

  When she stopped, her eyes were milky white again; and she could hardly see. Sweat was pouring down her head, and she had wet herself again. She felt its warmth puddle under her. She felt so humiliated.

  “For fuck sakes…” she hopelessly said.

  Thunder roared in the distance. A bird was singing softly in a dead tree, and the blue sky was slowly turning gray again. A cold wind blew across Abby’s hot cheeks as a tear rolled down them. Her oily hair fell in front of her face, and she brushed it away. Her fingers grazed the dry blood in her hair, and it made her eyes flicker sadly. She was still alive, and it actually made her angry.

  After a few minutes of watching the dark black blood of the undead pooling near its head, she got up. She groaned as she pulled herself onto the bench to sit. She reached downward and got the hockey stick. It was bloody. She looked around the area, at the emptiness, and the ruin. It finally hit her, she was all alone.

  She wanted to bundle up in a ball and lay there on the bench to die. Abby hated to be alone; she hated the silence; she hated that she was not dead like everyone else. It would be so much easier than to live in the ruined world around her, but she could not kill herself. She wanted to live even though she saw no purpose in it.