Taste the Dark (Elwood Legacy Book 1)

by Nicola Rose

  Sometimes when I lie awake at night I think about all the bad decisions I’ve made in my life. There’s so much material to work with, it can keep my mind occupied for hours as the darkness swirls around me.

  Was going to South Padre a bad decision?

  I’d readily admit to the bad ones. I have no qualms with analysing my own destructive personality and choices, even if I don’t learn from them. But no matter how hard I told myself that this was bad, I couldn’t make myself believe it.

  For the first time ever it felt totally right. And wrong. But right.

  The new day brought a fresh surge of pain. I took a huge lungful of air and slowly released it, repeating the move over and over. I made coffee and gulped it down, burning my throat. I emptied the heroin down the sink. It didn’t look like I’d actually had any of it, but I couldn’t remember much.

  Then I sunk back into the bed and toyed with my phone. Messages had come in from Danny and Anna, asking where I was, if I was OK. What was I supposed to say to them? How could I even look them in the eye? If I told them, Anna would be dragging me to the doctors for more meds before I could get another word out, and Danny? Well, he’d surely suspend me on grounds of mental health issues.

  I was supposed to be at work for my next shift tomorrow. Could I walk in there and carry on?

  I noticed the social media buttons on my phone’s home screen. I hadn’t been on to any of them since my arrival at the island. I pressed on one and was greeted with notifications for unread messages.

  Message 1: Jess, what the hell? You changed your number? I want to talk, call me back.

  Message 2: Where are you? No one knows where you are. Call me.

  Message 3: Baby, I’m worried. I went to your station, they said you left? Call me. I’ve been taking that anger therapy you wanted. I’m getting better. Call me!

  Message 4: Seriously, fucking call me you stupid whore. Who the hell do you think you are?

  I threw the phone down like it was poisoned.

  Luke.

  I thought I loved him once. Turned out it was just the drugs talking. He was just an asshole, cage-fighting machine. A real delight.

  Where would I go if I left the island? Back home, to my old town, where Luke would be waiting for me? Would I let him in? In all honesty, I was more afraid at the prospect of getting back together with him, than I was of Zac biting my neck.

  Zac wasn’t like him. He was nothing like him.

  There was a ping, as yet another message came up from Anna.

  I pondered it all for a while and decided that Zac was not a danger to them. He didn’t seem like a revenge-seeking psycho. He wouldn’t go after Anna, just to get at me. Besides, he told me to go, didn’t he? So that he wouldn’t hurt me. He didn’t want to hurt me, or Anna.

  The pain crept back in and I fought to stop the tears. Why did I still want to be with him? What was wrong with me?

  Perhaps they’d been right about me all along – the teachers, parents and friends. I was messed up and needed fixing. I wasn’t capable of making normal, sane choices.

  Or maybe it was just that I still couldn’t believe vampires were real. That’s why I didn’t want to leave him, because it was all a big joke that had gone wrong.

  I shook my head. I couldn’t escape the truth. I knew what he was. When I’d looked at him in the motel it had been clear.

  I felt it.

  He wasn’t human. And that set my core alight.

  I rode back to the island with my held my head high, marching into my motel room and noticing that the broken door was still swinging on its hinges. I crept inside, my gaze darting around the room, to the shadows, the closet, half expecting a monster to leap out at me.

  It was empty, but ransacked. The furniture was upturned, the drawers strewn around the room. Opportune burglars? I had left nothing behind, there was nothing to steal, except the motel’s TV, and that was still there. Maybe just opportune fuckwads, then. I pushed aside the idea of Zac doing it in a fit of vampiric rage.

  I went over to the office and told them someone had broken in. They promised to get a replacement door within the hour, and they were right. Once it was all sorted I fell into a fitful sleep, tossing and turning. My regular nightmare morphing once again into something more; the burning bodies now had vampire fangs, and blood… so much blood.

  My 24 hour shift at the firehouse passed in a surreal blur, without incident, other than a callout to help the coastguard search for a guy who had entered the water on the beach and not been seen since. Danny had supposedly returned to work, but was called over to the Port Isabel department. That left Meat in charge again, which I was grateful for. I couldn’t face Danny, not yet.

  He did put a call in to Meat though, I heard him confirming to Danny that, “Yes, she’s come in to work, and, no, she looks like shit.”

  Wonderful. I guess Danny had expected me to be absent after my breakdown. He’d send me back to the shrink for that. Story of my life.

  Hours drifted by and turned into days. I barely moved from the sofa during my days off, except to buy more alcohol. The vice that was tightening around my chest was becoming so crushing that even breathing was hard.

  Anna came to visit. She did the motherly thing and gave me all the best snippets of advice. I nodded through it, barely hearing a word. I decided she didn’t know though, and nor did Danny – about the whole vampire thing. If they knew, they’d surely have realised that I too, knew.

  I didn’t see Zac at all. I expected him to be watching from afar, the way he always did, but he wasn’t there. He was nowhere. And that left me sinking with depression.

  I gradually realised that the underlying panic that had settled so firmly into my core wasn’t because of him being a vampire. It was fear of leaving the island, of going back to my old life. I could go back and slip into an old life that was doomed to a worse fate, or I could dive headfirst into this fucked-up freak show.

  Because he was everything.

  He was too little and yet too much. Too little when he evaded me and left me panting for more. Too much when he was with me, making me mad with confusion and lust.

  He was moody, weird, and kind of an ass. He was so devastatingly attractive that he sucked the breath from me every time our eyes met. I was caught, trapped, under his consuming spell.

  And was it really so hard to believe what he was? How could I possibly deny all plausibility of vampires being real, when I myself was far from normal? Had I really believed I was alone, a solitary, isolated freak? What if there were others like me? What if he could help me? If I had finally found someone who could understand and accept me for who I am, should I run from that?

  I’ve always loved the supernatural. I believe in psychics, in mysterious abilities. Was this any different? Could vampirism be classed merely as an ability? An evolution of the human race?

  My heart ached to be close to him. And I needed answers. Many of my original questions seemed to answer themselves now that I knew what he was, but for every answered question, another ten popped up. Leaving the island was not a decision that I could make without informed facts.

  I asked myself if I thought he was dangerous? Yes, I did. He exuded danger. But I didn’t really believe that he was a danger to me. It was the opposite, he made me feel safe.

  Did I think he needed me? Yes, without a doubt.

  Did I need him? Obviously.

  Was he a killer? I got stuck on that one. Vampires drink blood, they kill people, but I couldn’t imagine him wandering around murdering people.

  Was I insane, was there something wrong with me for what I was about to do?

  Yep. But I had to go back, and he would damn well talk.

  23

  Jess

  The door was open before I’d turned the engine off. He stood staring at me in disbelief, looking a complete mess. And that was hard to accomplish for someone so composed and gorgeous. I dreaded to think how wrecked I must have looked in comparison.

  W
e stared at each other for a long while. I wanted to rush into his arms, but I wasn’t sure what the right thing to do was, and another part of me wanted to run away again. He took a step towards me, but wavered and stopped.

  “I can’t leave without answers,” I said.

  He nodded solemnly and gestured me through to the living room. Leon disappeared up the stairs. The room stank like a grotty old bar; alcohol mixed with cigarettes and the rotting souls of those who’ve hit the bottom. It was usually such a neat and clean place. He hastily cleared up the discarded whiskey bottles, straightened out the furniture and emptied an overflowing ashtray.

  I had no idea where to even begin with the things we needed to talk about. How to pick one question out of the swirling mass running riot through my mind?

  “So…” I said.

  “So…” he replied.

  Something occurred to me then. The speed that Leon had gone up the stairs, the way he moved. The way he looked. The way they all looked.

  “Fuck me. How could I have only just realised? You’re all vampires?”

  He stared at me like I was ridiculous. “Of course. My Cell, and… well, we’re not the only vampires on earth. Obviously there are others, too.”

  “Cell?”

  “I called it a gang in an attempt to sound more normal to you. Some of us call our groups a clan. We use Cell.”

  “So, the other… Cell. Alex—”

  “They’re extremely dangerous, Jess. I fear more for what they might do to you than what I myself could do.”

  “Why don’t you get along with your brother?”

  He frowned and lit up a cigarette. I’d never seem him smoke before.

  “It’s a long story,” he said, blowing out smoke. The smell wafted straight towards me and poked at the cravings I thought were long gone.

  “I’ve got as long as it takes,” I replied, leaning back in the chair for emphasis.

  He exhaled noisily, “Well, it kind of ties in with how we became vampires. And with what I used to be. What I should be. Do you really want to hear that, too?”

  “I’m not leaving again until I know everything.” I crossed my legs for further insistence.

  A foggy glaze settled in his eyes as he stared off into space for a while. Then he thrust his cigarette towards me. “I can hear you thinking about me smoking and how much you want one. Take it would you, tonight doesn’t count. It’s going to be a long one, so just smoke. You can quit again tomorrow.”

  The first couple of drags made me cough, but then the heavy smoke sank deep into my lungs in a disgusting and heavenly, tension-releasing wave. I gagged and savoured in equal measure.

  He watched me with a hint of amusement before starting his story.

  “In 1890 our parents died. Alexander and I were orphaned at the age of eleven.”

  I burst out laughing and spat the whiskey he’d just given me.

  He scowled and rolled his eyes.

  “What?” I yelled. “That isn’t funny? You start a conversation by casually telling me you were a boy in 1890 and I’m supposed to take this seriously?”

  “Yes. Our parents were wealthy cotton farm owners in Texas.”

  Nothing. Not even a hint of amusement on his face. Fuck this.

  “So, you’re telling me you’re… wait…” I tried the math, but my muddled brain wouldn’t cooperate. “Over a hundred years old?” I couldn’t take that in. I didn’t want to.

  “That’s right.”

  “Over. One. Hundred,” I repeated, as if saying each syllable a little slower would help it sink in.

  “So, anyway, our parents left a lot of money behind, but we were young and had no other family to take care of us. We were put into an orphanage temporarily while something more permanent was being worked out. But a man called Tobias arrived and took us away. He was wealthy and charismatic. He never really said how he managed to obtain us, but I think he was paying the staff to hand over children. We weren’t the only ones.” He rubbed at his arm before continuing.

  “He was a vampire, forming his own Cell in New York, after a lot of issues with leaving the Bael. He wasn’t too selective about who he chose, mainly adults and a few children. But he needed twins for the Elwood Legacy to pass on, do he sired us, made us into vampires. Vampire children continue to age until they hit around eighteen to mid twenties, then it stops. No one knows why, but it’s frowned upon to turn kids these days, so the experiments have all but stopped—”

  “Experiments? On kids? That’s disgusting.”

  “Yes. Are you going to keep interrupting?”

  “Maybe. If I want to. Do you have a problem with that?” I dared him to get impatient with me right then. And what the hell was an Elwood Legacy? Like, a family fortune to be inherited?

  He sighed and went on, “We lived a normal vampire life, killing as we needed. Would you like to make any comment on that before I go on?”

  “Not right now.” I stubbed out the cigarette and took another. I didn’t want to comment on that at all. Ever. The use of past tense was encouraging, though.

  “Alexander took to the lifestyle with joyous enthusiasm, but I was never happy. I mean, I enjoyed the killing, it’s impossible not to, and I was good at it. I did awful things. But, well… something happened, and…” he paused, rubbing a palm against his forehead. “I realised that I was hurting innocent people, and I wanted it to stop.” He moved to get himself another drink. A haunting ache had flashed in his eyes, clear as day. This story pained him.

  I didn’t want to push him, despite the thousand things that I wanted to ask right then. I bit my tongue and waited while he rubbed at his head some more.

  “It changed me,” he said the words with bitterness. “I began trying to control my urges and found that sometimes I could. I practiced and practiced, so much so that the pain of abstaining left me weak and drained. But I kept going.

  “We’d grown to think of Tobias as our father. Alexander was particularly close to him. They bullied and tormented me for my weakened condition and inferior state of mind. But when Tobias saw me come out the other side and grow strong again, whilst still withholding my instincts, he started questioning himself. He’d never even considered it before, he didn’t think it was possible to fight the darkness inside. He just lived true to who he was and accepted it gladly.”

  I held up my hand, pausing him. My reactions to his words were veering off on so many tangents. One question would come, then another and another. Too fast. Too hard for me to focus on what he was saying. These were the longest speeches he’d ever given.

  He waited, less than patiently, tapping his foot and watching me through jaded eyes. I shouldn’t have looked at them. They were like bait. I wanted to be pulled into them and get lost there. He blew out his cheeks and released his gaze on me, turning his attention instead to a faded black and white photograph on the mantle. Him, Alex and another man.

  “By now, Tobias was amazed, fascinated. He began to see me as the stronger brother, not the weaker one. We’d sit for hours talking and I started training him with my techniques in control. Alexander was jealous, pushed out. We tried to educate him too, but he had zero interest in controlling himself and was furious with us. He left home. The rest of the Cell were just as appalled by our actions and left, too. It was just me and him, but we were at a degree of peace. Until the Elwood Legacy and the Bael came to bite us on the ass.”

  “The what, and the what?” I asked.

  “We’d become complacent about it all. But they found us and I wouldn’t listen. I wouldn’t do what they wanted. They killed Tobias.”

  He’d been gazing into nothingness as he cast his mind back all those years. His face was impassive this time, but the hurt showed in his body language. A familiar sight, one I’d seen in my own mirror. Losing a father and not being able to hide the guilt. I wanted to hold him, to ease that pain.

  He snapped round to face me. “Don’t feel sorry for me. It’s my fault. Alexander blames me for changing T
obias, making him weak, for refusing the call of the Legacy; for everything.”

  “I don’t know what this Legacy thing is, but you can’t blame yourself for choosing to be a good person.”

  “That’s not what I mean. I know that’s not my fault, but I should’ve been there to help him and I wasn’t. Anyway, I’ve told you enough about that. But, by the way, I’m not a good person, Jess. I’m a vampire. I’m bad.”

  “I don’t believe that. Anyone that actually calls himself bad out loud is just a wannabe,” I said with a grin, hoping to lighten the mood.

  “Would you like me to demonstrate?” He gave me a callous look that made my heart stop dead. His whole face changed, with small veins appearing all around his eyes and popping out in his neck.

  A snarling smile twisted his face, allowing the glimpse of two sharp teeth.

  “Shit! Dammit, I’m sorry, Jess,” he pinched the bridge of his nose. “That was out of line.”

  Mercifully his face had quickly returned to normal. I didn’t ever want to see that other, terrifying face again. How could features so beautiful turn so ghastly? I shook my head, hoping to dislodge the memory.

  Despite the feeling that I was standing over a precipice and about to fall, I still struggled with the idea of him being bad. Now would have been a good time to leave, but there was still so much I wanted to know. Besides, I didn’t think I could leave. I was so caught up with the intensity of the direction my life was taking, the adrenalin was too addictive.

  I wasn’t a big believer in love. Once I would have laughed at the notion of love at first sight, but now I wasn’t so sure. It felt like I loved him. I understood what it was to desire someone so much that they absolutely consumed your whole being. Maybe I was still getting love and lust mixed up. I don’t know. All I did know was that I felt as if I would cease to function if I lost him.

  And that thought was fucked up enough to make me want to smash my head into a wall. To wake up and get a grip.

  “Why do you and Alex live so close if you hate each other so much? This place is tiny, it doesn’t make sense.”