Brokenhearted Beauty [Divine Creek Ranch 19] (Siren Publishing Ménage Everlasting)

by Heather Rainier

  They discovered over the course of the night that she tended to be restless in her sleep. James wasn’t much of a morning person and even though he didn’t look forward to getting up when the alarm went off, he didn’t mind losing sleep for her.

  Leah came to him in his dreams, purpose in her eyes as she climbed over him, straddled his hips, and took him inside of her. He let her have her way, let her ride him like a majestic, wanton siren. Flushed with arousal, she tilted her head back and skimmed her hands up her body, clutching her breasts, pinching her nipples before sliding her hands into her hair. Her breathing grew erratic and when she came, her cry was so loud it startled him out of sleep.

  Disoriented, he struggled to breath at first and realized he had a mouthful of her hair and that she was wrapped tight around him…and she was crying.

  “No!”

  Vincent must’ve also been startled, because he was kneeling near them, attempting to calm her, smoothing his hand down her back. She cried as if her heart was breaking and the two of them frowned at the sound.

  “Doll?” Vincent whispered, still stroking her back as she sobbed.

  Her face was buried against James’s neck, which was wet with her tears. He brushed her hair from her face and spoke softly to her. “Honey, it’s okay. Everything’s all right.”

  “Don’t…please don’t,” she whispered and then suddenly jerked and gasped.

  There was enough light for him to see that her eyes were open. She lifted her head and looked around in confusion. She focused on him and then turned to see Vincent right beside her. The stricken look on her face nearly broke his heart. More tears filled her eyes. “It wasn’t a dream.”

  Vincent reeled back as if he’d been slapped. “No, it wasn’t a fucking dream. I’ll leave you to your morning-after regrets.”

  He climbed from the bed, grabbed his jeans from the chair by the door and moments later, James heard the sound of kitchen cabinet doors slamming, drawers opening and closing, and the water running. He was probably making his morning oatmeal. Now looking even more confused than when she’d awakened, she continued sobbing as if she’d lost her last friend.

  James wondered if they’d made a huge mistake. What had they been thinking? It’d only been four months since Patterson died. They’d pushed her too far, too fast. Rising from the bed, she located her clothing and began dressing.

  This wasn’t at all how he’d wanted the morning to go. He wanted her rumpled and content, dressed in his shirt, or better yet, in the shower with him. Not dressed and ready to flee with regret in her red-rimmed eyes.

  She wrung her hands and could hardly look at him as she said, “I need to go. Vincent sounds really mad.”

  James led her back to the bed, and coaxed her to sit down beside him. “Please don’t leave yet. Talk to me.”

  “I need to go home and change for work.”

  “Let me at least make you breakfast, honey.” He brushed a tear away that overflowed her eye and said, “Tell me what happened earlier. I’m confused.”

  Her shoulders bowed as though some tremendous weight was on them and she looked down at her hands. The posture was so out of character for her. She had always been one of those people who met the world with her face forward, shoulders back and head held high. That’d all changed after Patterson’s accident. She needed a break from that terrible burden but he didn’t know how to help her. He was still struggling with it himself. Demonstrative as always, Vincent was in the kitchen taking what amounted to the same emotions out on the pots and pans.

  “You had a bad dream?” he prompted, when she startled from a particularly loud noise Vincent made in the other room. “You were talking. You were saying ‘don’t, please don’t,’ and then you seemed to wake up. You looked at us and you said, ‘It wasn’t a dream.’”

  Her voice was little more than a rough whisper. “I have the same dream every night. I’m in Patterson’s hospital room. The two of you are there, too. I beg Patterson not to…die…but he does. When I wake up, there’s this instant where I thank God because I realize it was only a dream, but then I remember it’s not a dream. It’s real. She rubbed at her forehead. “Sometimes I feel like if I wake up that way one more time…I’m going to go crazy. And now, I’ve messed everything up between us.”

  James tilted his head and chuckled as he pulled her into his arms. “You haven’t ruined anything.”

  “It’s not fair to subject you to that, not when you’re mourning as well.”

  He tilted her chin up. “Honey, you’re looking at it wrong. We’re more capable of understanding what you’re going through than just about anyone else.”

  A cabinet door slammed in the kitchen and Leah gulped. “Why does he keep doing that?”

  James smiled. “I’m pretty sure he took what you said the wrong way, honey. I’ll bet if you go in there right now, he’ll turn from a lion to a kitten with one look at you.”

  She didn’t seem so certain but she got up from his lap. “I can’t leave things like this. I’ll talk to him, but I really do need to leave.”

  He was disappointed at her news but he nodded. “I’ll make you breakfast while you talk to him.”

  He watched her walk into the kitchen. Vincent was at the sink rinsing his bowl and judging by how clean it was, he’d been standing there staring at it for a while. He practically jumped out of his skin when she placed her hand in the center of the tattoo on his back.

  Looking over his shoulder at her, he quickly turned off the water and laid the bowl on the drain board. With hooded eyes, he turned and leaned against the counter edge, drying his hands on a dishcloth. “You okay?”

  She nodded but then hesitated and shook her head negatively. Sadness flickered in Vincent’s eyes and his eyebrows drew together as he pulled her close. His eyes grew more bloodshot as she began to sob again.

  James couldn’t stay across the room. He went to her and stroked her hair and said, “I think there’s been a misunderstanding, Vincent. You need to hear her out.”

  He scrambled some eggs and made toast while she explained to Vincent, and as predicted, the lion turned into a kitten, falling all over himself to apologize for being an asshole.

  “So you didn’t think last night was a mistake?” he asked, hope flaring in his tone. “You won’t leave Divine?”

  She looked down at her shoes. “I still have to go to Abilene, guys. I thought last night was wonderful but…obviously…I’m still dealing with…I’m still messed up. My dad suggested that maybe the change of scenery would help me. He could be right.”

  “But…” Vincent cut off his disgruntled response when James put his hand on his shoulder, shook his head, and frowned. He’d started enough drama for one day. They needed to go easy on her for now.

  James set a plate in front of her and gave her a glass of orange juice. “Eat up, honey. When do you plan to leave?” Vincent gave him a dirty look but stayed silent.

  She glanced up and took a bite of her buttered toast. “Early Monday morning. I should be home by Tuesday night.”

  “Will you come here Tuesday night and spend it with us?” Vincent asked, ignoring the look James gave him. Leah’s shoulders hunched a little and she looked up at him and shook her head. “Why not?”

  “If I decide to move to Abilene, it’ll just make it harder to leave here if I sleep with you again.”

  “You talk like you’ve already decided to make the move.”

  “In light of what happened this morning, maybe it’s better if I do. Everybody grieves differently, Vincent. Eventually the pain won’t be so raw but this…this morning…I know you misunderstood and were upset but this was traumatic for me, too. Sometimes I think you want me to just ‘get over it’ and I can’t do that. I wouldn’t ask that of you.” She jutted her chin out as she frowned at him.

  Vincent’s eyes pleaded with her. “Leah, I—” He bit back whatever he was about to say and nodded. “Okay. Just be careful on the road. And please…”

  He was s
ilent for several seconds, looking like he wanted to flee.

  She asked, “Please what?”

  He chewed his lip for a few more seconds and then kissed the top of her head. “Please come back.”

  James could see there was much more Vincent wanted to say but he didn’t. It wasn’t the right time to tell her he loved her. That was an unfair burden to put on her. And given her present defensive mood she might even see it as a ploy to get her to stay. The fact that Vincent genuinely loved her wasn’t up for debate in James’s mind. He knew it to be fact.

  Vincent walked out of the kitchen and a few seconds later the shower came on.

  “I’d better go,” Leah said as she took her plate to the sink and rinsed it. “Thank you for breakfast.”

  “You’re welcome, honey. Be patient with us, okay? We’re pretty attached to you.”

  She went to him and put her arms around his waist and he kissed her forehead, her temple, and her cheek. As he held her, he felt the way her breathing hitched from crying so much. She tilted her head to look up at him and he leaned down farther and kissed her lips. Turmoil was in her eyes as she looked up at him, and he would’ve given anything to replace her pain with joy.

  “I wish this was easier, James. I want to move forward. I just need time.”

  He nodded and walked her out onto the front porch. He understood her need for time. It didn’t ease the ache in his heart to think she might leave but he’d give her what she needed even if it cost him. The day was already heating up and the sound of birdcalls filled the otherwise quiet morning. “Can I ask you a question?”

  “Sure.” She turned to him and slid her hand into his.

  He looked down at her delicately boned hand and said, “When you look into my eyes, and hear my voice, when I hold your hand like this…is it me you see? Or is it still Patterson?”

  She stared off into the distance and then looked down at his hand holding hers and up into his eyes. Her eyes were teary but she smiled through them just a little. “It’s you, James. It’s definitely you.” She breathed in the morning air and the sound was a little shaky.

  He released her hand and walked her down the steps to her car. He gave her a little wave and watched her back out and drive down the gravel driveway.

  His brother was off until Monday but James had to work a shift that day. After he’d finished getting ready for work, he paused in the doorway of the master suite. The covers and pillows were rumpled and one of the candles still flickered in the dim morning light filtering in through the array of windows that looked out over the river.

  He disliked the sensation of his world teetering on her decision the way it did. He wanted the master suite to be lived in full time. He wanted a future with her but only if she came to them freely, without being coerced.

  Later that morning, while he was on a call from dispatch, his phone rang but he had to let it go to voice mail. It was lunchtime by the time he checked to see who the call was from and discovered it was from Leah. He was already near the store and rather than calling her, he decided to just drop by and see her, but not before making a brief detour at Merritt’s Flower Shop.

  He was just heading down the hallway where her office was located when Leah’s sister Presley Ann came out of bookkeeping with a covered cash register till and a sheaf of papers. It’d been a while since he’d seen her and he’d forgotten that Leah had mentioned a few months before that she was expecting, which was now evident. The physical change went deeper than just the little baby bump rounding out her middle, though. The flirty façade she’d been known for was noticeably absent.

  “Oh, hello—” She looked at his badge and tag and then added, “—sir.”

  He smiled at Presley Ann. “It’s okay, you can call me James.”

  She smiled back at him, looked away for a second and then nodded. “Okay…James. I’ve always been bad with names but I’ll try to remember. Were you looking for Leah?” She glanced at the bouquet of red roses he carried and her smile carried true warmth.

  “Yeah, is she around?”

  She hesitated as she tucked a curly blonde lock behind her ear and said, “She left a couple of hours ago. She said that she was going out of town on a trip for Dad. Have you tried calling her?”

  “Not yet, no.” Checking that voice mail message might’ve been a good idea, though.

  “She’ll be in Abilene until Tuesday. She wasn’t sure about her cell phone reception while she was driving. When she checks in, would you like us to pass a message along to her?”

  Evelyn poked her head around the corner, spotted him, and then hastened down the hall to where they stood. She patted Presley Ann’s arm affectionately and said, “You go ahead, dear.”

  Presley Ann smiled at him and nodded at Evelyn before continuing on her way.

  Evelyn sighed as she turned her attention to James, smiling at the fragrant bouquet in his hands. Despite the large difference in their heights, he still felt like a boy when he talked to her. “Morning, ma’am.”

  “Good morning, James. I’m very sorry you missed her.”

  “I am, too.”

  She looked into his eyes and he wondered at how much she could see there. Clasping one of his hands in both of hers she said, “Don’t give up, James. When I talk to her I’ll let her know I spoke with you.” She turned to go back down the hallway.

  “Miss Evelyn, I thought she wasn’t leaving until tomorrow.”

  She stopped and turned back to him, her expression a little sad. “She wasn’t. I tried to persuade her to wait until tomorrow but she insisted on leaving today. She seemed to have a lot on her mind. Maybe she just needed time to think.”

  He thanked her and then looked down at the bouquet in his hands. “Miss Evelyn?”

  “Yes?”

  He held out the bouquet to her. “To thank you for the encouragement?”

  She took the bouquet in her little hands and held it up to her nose and smiled at him. “I feel certain she will be sorry she missed you, James. Be safe on your job today.”

  He tipped his straw Stetson to her. “Yes, ma’am.”

  He walked out into the bright sunshine, wondering how it was that he could experience disappointment at finding she’d bolted a day early, as well as encouragement that hope was not all lost. He knew Vincent wouldn’t agree with his optimism but neither did he always agree with Vincent’s dominating behavior. Although, he didn’t like the thought of her doing her thinking in Abilene any more than Vincent would when he found out she’d already left.

  With half his shift yet to work, he ate a quick lunch in his car and dialed in to his voice mail to listen to her message.

  “Hi, James, it’s me. I’ve decided to head out today instead of in the morning. I haven’t taken a day off in a while and I could use a little time to think, to decompress. It’s not the kind of thing I’d normally do, which is probably another reason I should do it. My plan is to just head in the general direction of Abilene. Pretty scary to someone like me. I’ll find somewhere to stop before dark, to eat supper and spend the night. I had my oil changed and serviced a couple of weeks ago so my car will be fine.” She chuckled softly. “I’m telling you all that because I know you’ll worry otherwise. I want you to know I didn’t choose to make the trip to Abilene to be contrary, like Vincent probably thinks, or that I’m running away from my problems and grief, or going just because my dad is making me. I really need to examine this opportunity. But above and beyond all of that, I want you to know I care about you and your brother so much…so much. Please tell Vincent I’m sorry I upset him with my decision to still go to Abilene. I know he means well, even when he’s being a pushy, bossy…jerk-face. If I was there I would hug and kiss you both. Please be careful at work. Bye.” He could hear the way her voice changed throughout the message, attempting to be informative and perky at first but he’d also detected huskiness in her voice when she talked about her feelings. What spoke to him most was the way she rambled at the end as though she didn’t w
ant to lose the connection. He’d miss her while she was gone but he had a smile on his face when the recording ended.

  Even though it was doubtful he’d connect with her if she was driving, he dialed her number. The call rolled over to voice mail and her voice came on the line, asking him to leave a message.

  “Honey, it’s James. I got your message. Yes, I would’ve worried about you stopping at a safe hour and about whether you’d taken your car in to be serviced. Knowing how much you appreciate structure, I can imagine this side trip is a stretch for you. Take all the time you need, honey. Find someplace with a pretty view and think and pray about it. Think it all through. If you choose to stay in Divine, I want you to be completely sure and not have any regrets. If you decide to move to Abilene, I want you to know that won’t make me give up. I’m a patient man. If your phone works wherever you stop for the night, give me a call before you go to bed. I’ll pass your message on to Vincent. If I was with you right now, I’d hug and kiss you, too. Don’t forget to remove your valuables from your car and lock it up. And lock and bolt your hotel room door tonight. And check and make sure the window is locked, too. Be safe, honey.”

  Chapter Five

  Leah didn’t enjoy the foreign uneasy feeling in her chest as she set out with no destination in mind. Even knowing that most of the journey would be through the Hill Country, which she normally enjoyed, didn’t help the discomfited feeling. She had no problem driving somewhere on her own, even in a relatively unfamiliar area. But she liked her days ordered, regimented, and planned out. Neat.

  Leaving the message for James had intensified that out-of-sorts feeling. She didn’t like leaving things the way she had with him and Vincent. Melancholy had settled in earlier that morning as she’d packed her suitcase. Dad would think she was on the ball when he found out she’d left a day early, but the truth was that she had no idea where she’d wind up at sunset.