Dangerous Crowns

by A K Fedeau

  “Livia?” Marcus’ voice echoed through the hall. “Are you all right up here?”

  Livia ignored him and pulled a knapsack from under the bed, and her mind raced as she rifled through the supplies inside. Carpathia? Not far enough. Severin? Jormunthal? Too dangerous. We could disappear in Kaditha, and we’d have Syndicate friends to help, but… come on! She strode over to the wardrobe and threw open the doors.

  “Livia?” Marcus came through the doorway. “What are you doing?”

  “I can’t just sit here,” Livia answered.

  “You can and should. You need to rest.”

  “Oh, right.” Livia kicked the knapsack back under the bed. “You just want to wait to die.”

  “I didn’t say that.”

  “They’re coming for us, Marcus. We need to get out while we still can.”

  “Livia…”

  Livia reached for the top wardrobe shelf. “Either help, or leave me alone.”

  “Livia…?”

  Livia stretched too far, jerked her arm down, and yelped in pain.

  Marcus stepped closer. “Are you all right?”

  Livia slumped onto the bed. “No.”

  “Stay there.” Marcus pointed to the mattress. “I’ll be right back.”

  Livia sulked and held her shoulder as Marcus stomped down the stairs, and he returned a few minutes later with a flat wooden box.

  “I knew it.” Marcus eyed the blood on Livia’s bandaged collarbone. “That cut opened up again, didn’t it?”

  Livia didn’t look at him. “I guess so.”

  “All right. Sit still.” Marcus sat beside her and opened the box. “I’ll change your bandage.”

  Livia gave him a dirty look.

  “Livia…” Marcus sighed - “come on.”

  Livia finally conceded and unfastened her dressing gown.

  Marcus tugged the sleeve off her shoulder, then a little to the side, and folded the neckline down until it bunched around her elbow. Livia shivered and sized up the goods he took out of the box - a cloth, a roll of bandages, and a jar of amber salve.

  “Where did you get that?”

  “Downstairs. It was sitting in the storage room.” Marcus pulled the lid off the jar and held it to his nose. “I hope this salve is still good.”

  “It’s mostly honey. It doesn’t spoil.”

  “Oh, good.” Marcus set the jar down. “That’s what we use at the front.”

  Marcus peeled the old bandage off, folded it, and set it down, and patted her with the cloth to blot away the drying blood. Livia hissed and screwed her eyes shut, but stayed still as he worked.

  “Shh,” Marcus murmured. “It’s all right.”

  Livia stiffened her lip and gulped the pain down.

  “Mira’s blood.” Marcus exchanged the cloth for the salve. “What did he do to you?”

  “It was a fruit knife.”

  “Gods.” Marcus swiped out a fingerful. “I hope it doesn’t scar.”

  “It’s all right. I did worse to him.”

  “Still.” Marcus spread the salve along the cut. “I don’t want you to be reminded of it every time you look at yourself.”

  Livia bit back her discomfort as the salve prickled on her skin.

  “You don’t have to do that,” she mumbled.

  “I told you. It’s the least I can do.”

  “You’ve been saying that a lot lately.”

  “What?”

  “That it’s the least you can do.”

  “It is,” Marcus answered. “After all the nights you’ve sat up with me.”

  Livia stayed silent as Marcus wiped the spare salve away, and he tore off a fresh strip of bandage and stuck it on the cut.

  “All right.” Livia finally spoke up. “Why are you really doing this?”

  Marcus turned up his eyebrows. “Because I owe you an apology.”

  Livia cocked her head and waited for him to explain.

  “When you told me we could bring down Hector, it hit me somewhere visceral. You led me into a fantasy that I was afraid to indulge.” Marcus draped his hand over Livia’s bandaged collarbone. “So when you said we could end the war, you just… you had me. That was it. You give me an inch of moral high ground, and I’ll hurt anyone.”

  Livia settled into the duvet as she listened to him.

  “But as soon as I had the power to give people what they deserved, I got too comfortable. Too used to telling myself I was doing the right thing.” Marcus brushed Livia’s skin with his thumb. “You don’t know how dangerous crowns are until you get close to one. They’ll show you what you’re really capable of when you’re at your worst.”

  Livia kept listening, but she averted her eyes.

  “So I took risks with you. I made you do something you regret. And I said it was for the greater good.” Marcus bit his lip, then went on. “But it wasn’t. I was scared, and desperate, and thought it was my only choice. Even if it meant offering you up to Hector. Or taking the throne for myself.”

  Livia felt a soft, pitying ache in her chest.

  “And that’s not what we wanted. It’s not what we planned in the chapel that night.” Marcus took Livia’s hand and lowered his voice with shame. “What I put you through was cowardly. I’ll never forgive myself for that.”

  Livia stared into her lap and didn’t answer him.

  “I’m sorry.” Marcus raised Livia’s hand and bowed his head, then kissed her knuckles. “I hope you can look me in the eye again someday.”

  Marcus tucked his chin, but kept her hand pressed to his mouth - and before she said anything, Livia took a deep, shuddering breath.

  “Marcus?”

  Marcus hesitated before he answered, “What?”

  “Come here.”

  Marcus inched forward, unsure what to do next.

  Livia let the silence linger as she studied his expectant face. His deep-set brow. His eyelashes. The bags under his eyes. She blinked, and the silence grew heavy as she made up her mind - until she leaned in, tipped her head, and kissed him on his mouth.

  Marcus stayed completely still as his eyelids fluttered shut, and Livia scooted closer to him as their noses brushed. A second kiss became a third as Livia draped her arms around his neck, and with the fourth, Marcus bit her lip and gulped down hungry, shallow breaths.

  Marcus lowered Livia onto the bed and kissed inside her knee, then pushed her dressing gown aside and eased her thighs apart. He kneaded handfuls of her hips and kissed her stomach, her breast, her throat, and Livia sighed and squirmed beneath him as she clutched at Marcus’ back. And as her legs curled around him, she cradled his head in the crook of her neck - and he took her in his arms again, like the Marcus she knew and loved.

  •••

  Later that night, the pale crescent moon shone through the bedroom window, and Marcus and Livia curled up together under the sheets.

  They basked in the warm, familiar comfort of each other’s skin, and their chests rose and fell together as they breathed in and out. They stared up into space with glassy, heavy-lidded eyes - and eventually, Marcus’ hand wandered up the back of Livia’s head.

  “Livia?”

  “Hmm?”

  “What did you mean about ‘the woman who saved your life?’”

  “When did I say that?”

  “Over breakfast.”

  “Oh. I was talking about Delphinia.”

  “Queen Delphinia saved your life?”

  “Well, not literally,” Livia said. “But she got me out of the Syndicate.”

  “So that’s how you came to court.”

  Livia looked up. “I never told you that?”

  “No.”

  “Oh.”

  “It’s all right,” Marcus said. “You’re entitled to keep things to yourself.”

  “Well…”

  Marcus shifted under the covers and waited for her to begin.

  “When I was in my twenties, I was working with Hamid - and one night, he said someone had reached out
about a spying job.”

  “Queen Delphinia?”

  “It was, but we didn’t know that then. They didn’t give a name. All we knew was that it paid well. Very well.”

  Marcus scratched thoughtfully at the crown of Livia’s hair.

  “They wanted someone young and discreet, so Hamid brought me along. We were supposed to meet at the docks at midnight.”

  “Sounds like something from an adventure book.”

  “I know.” Livia stopped to reposition her neck on her pillow. “So we went down to the docks, with no idea what to expect. And lo and behold, the client was Delphinia in disguise.” She held up her finger as she explained, then let it drop. “She was worried about this wealthy couple that had come to court. She wanted someone to befriend them, then tell her what was going on.”

  Marcus’ eyes started out of his skull. “She went to the docks? Herself?”

  “That was Delphinia. She wasn’t afraid to do what needed to be done.” Livia arched her eyebrows for effect, then went on. “The plan was, she needed a character. A woman of mysterious privilege. But no allegiances, so the couple wouldn’t get suspicious when I warmed up to them.”

  “And what happened?”

  “They were Severin agents spying on Princess Domitia. Delphinia had them arrested, and life went back to normal again.”

  “And she kept you around.”

  “She did.” Livia settled against Marcus’ shoulder. “I kept spying, and she kept giving. We were always friends after that. A year later, I met you.”

  Marcus chuckled. “That I’ll never forget.”

  “You make it sound ridiculous.”

  “It was, at least on my end.” Marcus gazed at the ceiling and reminisced in a soft, distant voice. “I saw this woman across the room with this daring haircut. I thought, ‘She looks like she could kill me. I have to introduce myself.’”

  “You didn’t.”

  “No. I think you noticed me staring at some point. I’ve never been good with women.”

  “It’s your stare.”

  “I don’t try to look like that.” Marcus feigned being hurt for a moment, then composed himself. “Anyway, you did all the work. You said hello. You asked me to dance. I just kind of fell in your lap.”

  “I think you had more hand in it than that.”

  “Not much.” Marcus gave her a rueful glance. “We met at the Moonlight Festival. By the new year, I was yours. Once you figured out what to make of me, you didn’t waste any time.”

  “Didn’t I?”

  “You pushed me onto a couch and had your way with me.”

  “I think you performed admirably.”

  Marcus turned bright pink. “Stop.”

  In the silence that followed, Livia sighed, and her eyes fell.

  “You know, Delphinia always liked you. She said you were her favorite general.”

  “Did she really?”

  “Of course.” Livia wedged her arm under her pillow. “She was always going on to me about what a good catch you were. That you were kind, and loyal, and protective.” She paused, then her face cracked. “I owe her so much. And now I can’t repay that debt.”

  “Oh, Livia.” Marcus pressed his cheek to her brow. “Hush.”

  “All I had to do was help her granddaughter.”

  Marcus rubbed her back. “I know.”

  “She was one of my only friends.”

  “She was the closest thing to a mother you had.”

  Livia curled up to Marcus and nestled her head in the crook of his neck, and she let what he’d said about Delphinia sink through her like a stone.

  “I’m sorry.” Marcus stopped rubbing. “I don’t think there’s much else I can do.”

  “No, but I love you for trying.”

  Marcus lowered his chin. “That’s kind of you.”

  “No, it’s not. I shouldn’t…” Livia stumbled over her words - “I don’t… you know. I’m stingy with these things. I don’t tell you enough.”

  “You don’t need to tell me.”

  Livia looked bewildered. “I don’t?”

  “You’re your own woman,” Marcus said. “If you didn’t love me, you’d go.”

  Livia almost smiled. “You’re right. I would.”

  Marcus stroked her back. “See? I know you.”

  “You do.” Livia leaned into his touch. “In ways no one else does.”

  Marcus stirred up a tuft of Livia’s hair, then smoothed it back down.

  “Marcus?”

  Marcus gave Livia a slow, heavy blink. “What?”

  “What are we going to do about tomorrow?”

  The light went out of Marcus’ eyes. “I don’t know.”

  Livia stared at the other side of the bed and didn’t respond.

  “But I know that whatever happens… at least we will have tried. At least we will have stood up to something the only way we could.” Marcus swallowed the lump in his throat and turned his eyebrows up. “And if we fail, then maybe in some distant year to come… things will be better. And people will look at us and say we did our best.”

  For a moment, the air stood still, and a cloud passed over the moon - and Livia fanned her fingers over the back of Marcus’ free hand.

  “Well, I’m not helping,” she mumbled. “I’m just keeping you up.”

  “It’s all right.”

  “Good night, Marcus.”

  Marcus kissed the top of Livia’s head. “Good night.”

  CHAPTER 20

  Sometime in the middle of the night, Livia awoke to a strange hand on her shoulder and a bright light in her face.

  Her eyes snapped open to find two soldiers standing over her, and she flinched, gasped, reeled back, and threw the covers over her head. She found her drawers under the sheets and threw them on as fast as she could, but as she fumbled with her stays, someone else tugged on the comforter.

  “Get up!”

  Marcus wrestled with his pillow and scrambled into his own drawers, and as he pulled them up to his waist, the soldiers yanked the sheets all the way off. They bashed Marcus against the headboard. They grabbed Livia by her arms. Two more stomped up the stairs, and Livia heard someone yell, it’s them! The soldiers ripped Livia out of bed with a disorienting lurch, and she landed hard on the floor before they dragged her toward the doorway.

  Livia kicked at the soldiers’ ankles. “Let go!”

  The soldiers tightened their grip. “Shut up!”

  “Mira’s tits,” one swore as he looked down. “They don’t have any clothes!”

  One of the backup soldiers grumbled and strode across the room, and threw open the wardrobe as his partner picked up Marcus’ tunic and cloak. They dug one of Livia’s old dresses out and yanked it over her head, and Livia fought them tooth and nail until they finally forced it on.

  •••

  The soldiers’ boots pounded on the floorboards as they heaved Marcus and Livia downstairs, with both of them squirming and struggling on every creaking step.

  When they reached the front door, everything happened in a flash. Livia broke free. The soldiers hollered. She bounded out onto the porch. Both of her captors stumbled after her and seized her upper arms, and Livia stomped against the steps and yowled like a feral cat.

  Marcus snarled. “If you hurt her, I’ll…!”

  A soldier muffled him with his glove.

  The soldiers herded Marcus and Livia out into the yard, where a driver waited with a wooden cart and a skinny, restless horse. Livia jerked her head aside and bit one of the soldiers’ ears. The soldier howled with surprise, but the other wrested her back. He raised his hand to slap her, but Marcus grabbed his wrist, and he grit his teeth as he wrenched her attacker’s arm as hard as he could.

  The soldier grimaced in pain as Marcus twisted his shoulder. “Agh!”

  “Get the shackles!” Another yelled. “Before they do anything else!”

  The driver ran to the back of the cart and produced two pairs of iron cuffs, and the so
ldiers kept struggling to hold Marcus and Livia down. They cuffed Marcus’ wrists, then Livia’s, then lowered the back of the cart, and tossed both of them onto the thin layer of straw inside.

  Livia crawled toward the edge. “No!”

  The soldiers threw a blanket over her and Marcus both - and after all four of them climbed in, the driver cracked the reins and took off.

  •••

  The sun had risen by the time they made it to the capital, and hazy light shone in patches through the blanket over their heads.

  Marcus and Livia tried to peek through the tattered holes in the top, but they turned and jostled so much, they lost all sense of where they were. Glass shattered somewhere to their left. Horses whinnied to their right. Dogs barked somewhere behind them. A woman screamed somewhere in front. Voices swirled all around them, and the air under the blanket grew stale and hot - and as they rode around a corner, someone slammed against the cart.

  Marcus pulled up his knees to brace himself. “What’s going on out there?!”

  Livia wrestled with the burlap, and when she poked her head out, she gasped.

  The city lay before her in splintering, smoldering chaos, with fire exploding from upstairs windows as rooftops billowed with smoke. A group of beggars smashed in a storefront. Prefects ran by with their swords drawn. Overturned carts and abandoned stalls lay strewn across the roads. Nearby, a brawl grew larger and larger as onlookers joined the fray - and hundreds just wandered the streets, their knees bloodied and faces lost.

  Marcus squirmed out of the blanket, too, and the color drained from his face. “Oh, gods.”

  One of the soldiers jabbed at them with the sole of his boot. “Stay down!”

  When they reached the palace gates, they caught the attention of a rioting crowd, and as the cart clattered under the marble arch, the mob followed them in. They yelled louder and louder, and the soldiers tried to beat them back. They swarmed around the cart, and the horse snorted and reared its head. Marcus and Livia scooted away from the sides and clutched each other’s sleeves - but the hands kept reaching toward them, wriggling and clawing at their arms.