Disciples

by Austin Wright

  That man is the devil Oliver said. He’s black and wants your baby. Don’t you want to stop him.

  I want to stop him I said.

  Let’s take a walk Oliver said. Out the back where he can’t see us. I have a job for you. Will you do a job for me.

  I always do a job for Oliver. That’s my job.

  He got a gun out of the closet and we went into the woods where the path goes up to Meditation Point. You been practicing with a rifle he said. Do you shoot pretty good.

  I shoot good.

  Show me how good you shoot.

  We went to a rock at the bottom of the waterfall. We looked up to the top. See that he said. That’s where the path crosses over to Meditation Point. See the tree branch like a horse with a crest on its head.

  I saw the horse with a crest on its head.

  Shoot the crest off.

  I pointed the rifle at the branch that looked like a crest and squeezed the trigger bang. The crest popped off and a bunch of leaves floated down the waterfall.

  Good. Now listen I want you to remember what I told Loomer yesterday.

  I couldn’t remember.

  When me and you and Loomer were here at the waterfall Oliver said. And I told him if I want to shoot somebody I can stand here with my rifle from the Miller Ammunition Pile, and I can hit somebody crossing over the stepping stones up there.

  I remembered that. I remembered Loomer said if you wanted to shoot somebody with a rifle you could pop him sitting down at the dinner table. Oliver said if I shot someone crossing the stepping stones he would fall down the waterfall bang them rocks and nobody’d know it was a bullet. Loomer said a perfect crime. Particularly if you happen to be standing here with your rifle at just the moment when he happens to be crossing over on the way to Meditation Point. Oliver said the point would be to know when he is going to cross over to Meditation Point. Then everybody would think he slipped. Loomer said particularly if he just happened to cross that way instead of taking the easy path around the pool if he just happened to like stepping stones. Oliver said the point would be to make sure he does cross by the stepping stones.

  Do you remember that Oliver said.

  I remembered.

  All right Oliver said. Now Nicky. If the black devil who wants to take your baby crossed the path to Meditation Point could you shoot him in the head.

  I squinted to make a picture of the black man crossing and I made a picture of the rifle pointing at his head. Yes I said.

  So if you see the black man crossing on his way to Meditation Point would you shoot him.

  No I said.

  Why not.

  Because thou shalt not kill.

  But if I told you to shoot him would you do it then.

  I thought. I always do what you tell me I said.

  But if I told you and you shot him what would you do about thou shalt not kill.

  I don’t know.

  You could say it’s not really killing because the black man is the devil. Thou shalt not kill except the devil.

  It’s okay to kill the devil.

  Good. The black man wants to take away your baby. He wants to marry the white woman and raise the baby as a black and white baby. That’s offensive to good people.

  The baby shouldn’t be a black and white baby.

  The baby isn’t but the black man wants to take the white woman away and marry her. That’s black and white. Does God like black and white.

  God doesn’t like black and white.

  Get it straight. God likes white and he likes black because he made them white and he made them black. What God doesn’t like is black and white.

  God doesn’t like black and white.

  I have a job for you the most important job in your life. I want you to wait on that stump with the rifle. When Loomer catches the black man I’m going to send him up to Meditation Point. When he gets out of sight on the path come over to this rock and watch. When he crosses over to Meditation Point I want you to aim carefully and hit him in the head.

  You want me to shoot the black man in the head.

  He looked at me and I looked at the ground.

  You want me to kill the black man.

  Do you have any objections.

  No.

  Why don’t you.

  Because he’s the devil and you’re supposed to kill the devil because he wants to take my baby away.

  Are you worried the police will come and put you in jail.

  I was scared. Will they do that.

  Not if you do the job cleanly. This is why it’s important to shoot when he’s exactly in the middle across the waterfall. Look up see the long shaped rock where the water divides that looks like a tiger’s tongue. Do you see the rock that looks like a tiger’s tongue.

  I didn’t know if I saw a tiger’s tongue or not. I thought I saw it.

  Take another shot to show me you see it. Hit the tiger’s tongue.

  I shot the tiger’s tongue. A puff of dust popped off the tiger’s tongue but if Oliver hadn’t told me I would have thought it looked more like a puppy’s tongue.

  That’s the place he said. Shoot him when he’s stepping on that. Do you know why it’s important to shoot him then.

  No.

  Because then he’ll fall down the waterfall and it will be an accident. When he falls and hits the rocks nobody will look for a bullet.

  It takes a while but I see what he means. It makes me laugh and shake Oliver’s hand.

  If there is a bullet I’ll be here with rocks to bang him up some more. Then nobody will ask did you shoot him because nobody will think of it.

  I laughed again.

  So what are you going to do.

  I’m going to sit on the stump and wait for the black man.

  And when you see him what will you do.

  I’ll watch and when he crosses over I’ll shoot him.

  And what exact moment will you shoot him in the head.

  I’ll shoot him when he crosses the tiger’s tongue.

  And what will happen.

  He’ll fall down the waterfall and nobody will know.

  Because it’s an accident. You’ll be at peace because you have carried out the will of God and done a great service.

  I followed him back to the house. Loomer was there looking out the window.

  That your man Loomer said. Think I’ll round him up.

  I watched. After a while I saw Oliver talking to the black man and then they went to the beginning of the path and Oliver told him where to go. The black man who looks brown except Oliver says brown is black went up the path. When he was out of sight in the trees I went over to the rock at the bottom of the waterfall where I could see to shoot him. I waited a while. Loomer came up behind me. He scared me. He had a rifle too.

  What are you going to do he said.

  Shoot squirrels I said.

  Is that what Oliver told you to do.

  I didn’t say.

  Black squirrel maybe.

  Brown I said. I felt smart saying that.

  He told you to kill him Loomer said.

  When do you do it. When he crosses over to Meditation Point I said.

  You’re supposed to shoot him then.

  I didn’t have time to answer because there was a crashing noise and the black man tearing down the path like a bunch of bees. He was going so fast he didn’t see us.

  Look like he changed his mind Loomer said.

  Now what do I do.

  Guess you wait to see what Oliver tells you next.

  Loomer went off into the woods and I went back to the stump.

  After a while Oliver and the black man came up the path together. They saw me and Oliver came over.

  He looked in the eyes like a snake.

  Get this straight he said. I’m going up with him. When he crosses over do it like I said.

  Okay.

  When he crosses the tiger’s tongue be sure you get him and not me okay.

  That’s silly I said. I’d never sho
ot you.

  He went back to the black man and they went up.

  Loomer came back. You still supposed to shoot him he said.

  Yes.

  When he crosses the waterfall.

  Yes.

  So he’ll fall down and they won’t blame you. Are you nervous.

  No.

  Not afraid you might miss or make a mistake. Not scared he’ll fall the other way and not drop down the waterfall after all.

  Not if I hit him when he’s crossing the tiger’s tongue.

  What’s the tiger’s tongue.

  The rock up there that looks like a puppy’s tongue.

  He looked up. That won’t work he said. If you shoot him there he’ll fall back and land in the pool. He’ll just float around bleeding in the head and when they find him they’ll see the bullet hole and know what you did. Then you’ll have to face not only the police but the wrath of Miller.

  Oliver told me.

  The right place to shoot him is when he steps over the elephant’s pecker.

  What.

  The rock to the left of the tiger’s tongue where the water is spouting out. Looks like an elephant’s pecker.

  I saw the elephant’s pecker. It looked more like a spaniel’s pecker. My spaniel had a red pecker that stuck out when he sat on the ground thumping his leg.

  Why does he want you to kill Leo Loomer said.

  Do you mean the black man.

  The black man. His name is David Leo. Why does Oliver want you to kill him.

  Because he’s the devil I said. He wants to take the baby away.

  The baby yes and the mother and the whole damned sheboodle. Fuck him.

  What.

  Do you think it’s a good idea.

  What.

  It’s a bad idea. Oliver’s crazy. He’s bringing trouble to Miller Farm. Don’t you think so.

  I don’t know. I didn’t know what to do. I was scared of Loomer.

  You wouldn’t know if Oliver didn’t tell you right.

  Oliver takes care of me.

  Right. So now he wants you to kill David Leo. Tell you what Nicky. I’m a better shot than you. Let me do it.

  Oliver said I’m supposed to do it.

  I’m superseding him. You go back to the cottage.

  You’ll do it the right way.

  Exactly.

  You’ll do it when he’s over the tiger’s tongue.

  Not the tiger’s tongue the elephant’s pecker.

  Will you tell Oliver why you did it and not me.

  I’ll tell Oliver. Go shoot some squirrels. Shoot a lot of them. Make a lot of bangs.

  I didn’t see any squirrels. I couldn’t hear anything because of the waterfall noise. I walked around but I stayed where I could see Loomer because I wanted to be sure since this was the job Oliver gave me. After a while I heard a rifle shot. I saw him standing on the rock at the bottom of the waterfall lowering his rifle. I guessed the rifle shot came from him. I couldn’t think of anywhere else it came from.

  Loomer came back to the stump. He saw me. He’s coming down Loomer said.

  I heard crashing running down the path again. It was the black man again. He ran to the stream and stood at the edge looking at something.

  Think I’ll go help him Loomer said. Stay behind a little.

  I stayed behind and saw Loomer go up to the black man at the edge of the stream. I wondered where Oliver was.

  Loomer crossed over the stream to the other side stepping on rocks. He bent over something. I came closer and saw it was blue a person lying on the rocks. It was the same color blue Oliver was.

  I wondered if it was Oliver. I hoped it wasn’t Oliver. Oh how I hoped it wasn’t Oliver. Loomer talked to the black man.

  After a while Loomer and the black man went down to the compound. I went to the stream and looked across at the man in blue. I wished Oliver would come back and tell me what to do. I tried to cross over like Loomer but it was too hard I slipped and got my shoes and socks and pants wet. I wished Oliver would show up. I hoped the blue man wasn’t Oliver oh how I hoped it.

  A bunch of people came up from the compound. Loomer was with them. I didn’t see the black man any more. The people went into the stream and picked up the blue man. They put him on a stretcher and covered him with a green plastic sheet. They carried him down to the compound. I tried to catch Loomer. I followed him to the big house.

  I said what happened.

  He slipped Loomer said.

  Who.

  Oliver.

  Is Oliver dead.

  Yep.

  I said you shot him.

  Don’t make up stories man this was a accident.

  You shot the wrong person.

  I don’t make mistakes. He slipped.

  I saw you shoot him.

  No you didn’t.

  I heard the gun.

  Things aren’t always what they seem. You didn’t see what happened up there. He was careless and his foot slipped and down he came. It’s just as well too.

  Just as well.

  Better he die than Leo. Shoot him and bring in the FBI the end of Miller Farm. You wouldn’t want that to happen.

  Oliver wanted him killed I said.

  It didn’t happen and it’s just as well. A accident. Do you know what a accident is. It’s an Act of God. Ordained of God.

  God. I thought how Loomer looked. You mean Miller.

  Miller was meditating in the Big House he said.

  Then it wasn’t God.

  Unless God made his foot slip.

  What am I supposed to do now.

  Do what you always do whatever that is.

  I can’t.

  Why not.

  I need Oliver to tell me.

  Well Oliver’s gone looks like you need someone else to tell you now. Shit. You want me to tell you. You want that.

  I didn’t want to answer.

  You want me to be your guide you do what I tell you. I’ll be your guide. Do you agree.

  I felt sad.

  Don’t cry he said. The bastard wasn’t worth it.

  That night alone in the room where I used to share with Oliver I thought about him. I cried again.

  The next day they had the funeral in the Barn. They had Oliver in a box and everybody came and mostly nobody said anything and Miller talked. There was a woman somebody said the baby’s mother. I wanted to talk to her about the baby but I didn’t know what to say so I didn’t. I often want to talk about something but I don’t have anything to say about it so I can’t. I wish you could talk about something without having to say anything. I wanted to talk about Oliver being dead but I didn’t have anything to say about that either.

  After the funeral they took Oliver down to the pool to burn him up. They put the box on a stand of logs and poured gasoline and lit it. There were flames and smoke went up. It took a long time. I tried to see Oliver through the holes but I couldn’t see anything. It made me sad to see Oliver burn up. I couldn’t see him though.

  Loomer sat beside me. This is called cremation he said. Now if they’s any bullet holes nobody will know.

  I thought they wasn’t any bullet holes.

  I said if he said. If they was not they was.

  I remembered. I saw you shoot him I said.

  No you didn’t. You don’t know what you saw.

  It’s not fair to kill Oliver.

  What’s fair.

  Fair is I couldn’t say I thought I knew but I couldn’t say.

  Fair is it’s not fair to kill Oliver and not somebody pay. You want to punish someone. Is that what you mean?

  That’s it I said.

  I understand. Actually I didn’t tell you the whole story. Between you and me okay. What if David Leo killed Oliver.

  The black man did he.

  Don’t tell anyone. What if they were crossing and David tripped him. If he didn’t like Oliver and pushed him when he saw the chance bye bye Oliver.

  He pushed Oliver.

  Before I had tim
e to shoot him. What could I do.

  That’s not fair. He should have given you time.

  That’s bad. Thou shalt not kill.

  I got mad.

  Let’s keep this to ourselves Loomer said. A secret between us. According to everybody Oliver slipped and fell. Better far better to leave it that way. Do you know why.

  I didn’t know why.

  Better for Miller Farm. Not to have police folk and FBI types snooping around. Who knows they might even accuse you since you were in the woods with a rifle. We don’t want no police in here and if we keep our trap shut we won’t get none. We take care of it ourselves our own funeral and cremation and nobody else know anything.

  He shouldn’t have pushed Oliver I said. It made me sad and some other feeling too.

  What you want is justice Loomer said. You want fair. Somebody should pay. Do you agree.

  Somebody should pay.

  What should he pay.

  I don’t know.

  Well how does the world decide these things.

  I don’t know.

  They have a trial Nicky. Would you like to give the black man a trial you and me.

  That would be nice.

  Ourselves no police no lawyers. Would you like to be the law in this case.

  I liked that.

  We’ll give him a trial and charge him. If we find him guilty he will pay the price. How much would you like him to pay. A little. Some. The maximum.

  Which is biggest.

  The maximum. Should he pay the maximum.

  He should pay the maximum.

  All right then we’ll give him a trial with the maximum penalty. Do you know what the maximum penalty for killing is.

  Kill him back.

  Something like that Loomer said. I’ll have to look it up. Someone as important to you as Oliver you kill him back. It would make you feel better.

  I’d feel better.

  Only one problem.

  What’s that.

  If we’re going to try him we need to catch him.

  I bet you have a plan for that I said.

  Smart Nicky. It means going away a while. You willing to help me catch the black man and give him what he deserves.

  It’s only fair I said.

  You owe it to Oliver.

  I owe it to Oliver.

  14

  Harry Field

  Harry’s preoccupation with death seems as fresh at seventy as in his teens. What happens to his I when he dies? Arguing with nature. How can you destroy this sight and knowing and this world which lives only through this knowing? With nature’s rhetorical reply, You’ll never know you’re dead, why worry?