“I know that’s right, you tell him, sister,” someone yelled from across the room.
Malik stood up and realized that he was losing the argument, and announced, “I have to piss, y’all can continue this conversation without me.”
Once he had left the room, Timothy tried to redirect the energy and asked if anyone wanted to play spades. A few people said yes.
In the meantime, Bella tapped Elsie on the shoulder and signaled her to come into the kitchen. Faith followed.
“Can you believe that character?” Faith asked them.
“At this point in life,” Elsie answered, “I don’t put anything past anyone. The world is messed up and people are screwed up in the mind, look at the news and read the paper. Shit, if he wants to know why women are turning gay in record numbers he should look in the mirror, that’s his answer right there.”
A couple of hours passed by before Susan grew tired and ready to end the night. She motioned for Timothy to come into the kitchen.
“What’s up?”
She looked at her watch. “How much longer?”
“Another hour or so.”
Susan rubbed her neck and told him, “Let’s make it thirty minutes.”
“We can do that,” Timothy agreed.
Susan leaned into Timothy and whispered, “You need to get someone to take your boy, Malik, home, he’s had more than his share of drinks.”
Timothy informed her that she wasn’t telling him anything he didn’t already know and that he had it all under control.
As people were leaving, Elsie asked Susan, “Do you want me to help you start cleaning up?”
“Yeah, girl, maybe people will get the hint and hurry it along.”
A short while later, the house was empty and Elsie was helping Susan wash the last few dishes. “Thanks, girl, I appreciate it.”
“You’d do the same for me,” Elsie responded.
“And more,” Susan told her.
Later that night, while Elsie lay in bed, she thought about what Malik said, about the examples that were being set for kids regarding sexuality.
Maybe that should be a discussion amongst the teenagers in the program, she thought, but she knew she would first have to get permission from the parents.
After listening in on the kids’ conversations, she discovered that alot of the kids who were in middle school and high school were confused about their sexuality, that they didn’t know the difference between experimentation and making a choice.
CHAPTER SIX
ELSIE
That following day after the party, Elsie decided it was time to admit the inevitable. It was time for Elsie to do what she’d been putting off doing for quite some time and that is to make a decision about the baby she so desperately wanted to have.
She knew she couldn’t do it on her own, that she was going to need a man’s seed. The question that remained to be seen was how was that going to happen? She couldn’t remember the last time she had a dick up in her.
She could always adopt a baby, but that was a process that Elsie wasn’t sure she wanted to go through. She also wasn’t sure how she would feel about raising another person’s child. What if she fell in love with the child and when they got older they wanted to find their birth parents, how would she feel about that? What if the child grew up full of resentment because she wasn’t the kid’s real mother? How wrong would it be not to want that information exposed?
Plus, Elsie wanted a child that resembled her. Would she be able to find one? What were the odds of that happening? Could she and would she be willing to adopt a kid of a different race? How open was she to that?
What about a sperm donor? Would she really be able to step through the doors of a sperm bank, look through some strange man’s file and say, he’s the one, that’s the man I want to have a baby by? Who’s to say when the man was filling out his papers that he wasn’t lying, building himself up to be the man he wanted to be and not the asshole he was.
What a person puts down on paper and who they are in the actual flesh can be two totally different things. What if the sperm was contaminated? What kind of tests did they run? Was she really willing to take that chance? There were a thousand and one questions Elsie needed answers to before she could make the proper decision.
Elsie knew she was panicking, she was almost certain that the men were checked out thoroughly before being allowed to donate sperm.
One of the things that bothered her about doing it that way, is that it was so damn impersonal. Maybe that would be best, that way the child would belong to her and only her, she wouldn’t have to worry about child support and other things women worry about when having a baby by a man they know.
She was more than willing to raise a child all by herself. She was willing to be a single mom. Elsie knew she was capable.
Later in the week she would look into the whole sperm-donor situation a little more. It wouldn’t hurt, even if she decided not to do it, at least she’d have the information.
Elsie was driving to For the Soul, a bookstore that had just opened at the mall.
Her mind was so preoccupied with these thoughts, that she was startled when she heard a horn blowing behind her. Elsie looked in her rearview mirror and the woman behind motioned to the lights. Elsie looked at the light and said, “Oh shit.” It had turned green without her even realizing it.
Elsie looked back in the rearview mirror. She could see that the woman was getting impatient because she was all frowned up, so Elsie pulled off. A short while later, Elsie noticed that the car that was behind her at the light seemed to be following her.
“What the hell?” Elsie said out loud while thinking, there was no way in the world this woman was following her to curse her out. Shit wasn’t that serious and if it was, Elsie would handle it.
When Elsie pulled into the parking lot of the mall, she turned off her engine and looked around to see if the car was anywhere in sight. She spotted the lady parking a few spots down from her.
Okay, maybe she wasn’t following me. It is likely she was coming to the mall just like I was.
Elsie leaned over, grabbed her purse off the floor in the back, and noticed that on the backseat of the car, the magazine she’d been meaning to read was opened to a page that advertised for foster care. Was it a sign? She wondered. Elsie sat back up, pulled out her lip gloss and put some on, while thinking, is God trying to tell me something? She placed the lip gloss back in her purse and got out the car.
Shopping was something Elsie hadn’t done in quite some time. She had more than enough clothes from her days of modeling but that was some time and a few pounds ago. She needed to update her wardrobe, but today wasn’t the day for that. She came to the mall with two stops in mind: the bookstore and Victoria’s Secret.
When Elsie walked through the entrance to Macy’s, she was in her own world. She didn’t look behind her to see if anyone was entering after her, she just let the door go and as it was closing, someone grabbed it.
Elsie turned around to apologize and saw the woman that was behind her at the light. “Bet you thought I was following you.”
As Elsie let her pass, she told her, “Well, it did seem mighty suspicious. I thought maybe you were pissed and wanted me to know it.”
The woman laughed. “I wasn’t pissed. Believe me, I’ve been preoccupied with other things when driving as well. You just need to be careful with your thoughts when driving because the next thing you know, you’ll be going somewhere you didn’t mean to.”
Elsie looked at her and wondered, what the hell is she talking about?
“I mean, life is hard as it is and sometimes the only time we get alone is in the car.”
Elsie thought it was best to stop this lady right now because it was a conversation she was not trying to have, plus she didn’t know this woman and she seemed like she was on a roll with whatever the hell she was talking about. Elsie just wanted to go to her two stores, get what she wanted, and get the hell out. To have a co
nversation with a complete stranger was not on her to-do list.
Just when Elsie was about to dismiss her, the woman said, “Oh, I’m sorry, I don’t mean to go on and on, you don’t even know me.”
Elsie lied and told her it was okay.
“No, it’s not,” the lady said. “I must seem like some psycho bitch.”
Together they laughed. “Well,” Elsie was honest with her, “it was a little awkward.”
The woman turned and faced Elsie. “I’m Savannah.”
“I’m Elsie.”
After they shook hands, Savannah took a step back and looked at Elsie. “You look familiar.”
“Well, they say we all have a twin,” Elsie told her.
“No, that’s not it.” Savannah shook her head. “I’ve seen you somewhere . . . oh, I know, you’re the young woman that just opened the center downtown, the essence-is-something-or-another.”
Elsie nodded and said, “the Essence of Self Center.”
“That’s a great thing you’re doing. I’m a gynecologist, if there’s anything I can do for you, let me know.”
That was an offer Elsie was not going to turn down. To have a doctor on her board of directors would be an excellent addition.
Savannah handed Elsie her card.
“I’ll call you,” Elsie told her.
Once out the store, they went their separate ways and Elsie couldn’t help but think that woman is crazy but fine. She wondered if this Savannah woman was gay. Would luck be on her side? She doubted it very seriously. Luck was never on her side when it came to relationships.
For the past couple of weeks, she had dreams about her ex-girlfriend, Summer. She didn’t know if the dreams were because she was thinking of her in her subconscious or if it was because she was horny. Whatever the reason, she wanted so bad to call her and catch up, to see how she and her daughter were doing.
As Elsie recalled, what she and Summer had was special and they promised one another that they would remain friends even though they were no longer together. Instead they drifted apart.
Maybe it was because they both figured, what’s the point. Now when Elsie thought about it, she saw what the point was. When you love someone, you don’t just let them go. Yes, she was the one who broke it off. She was also the one that caused the pain and now she regretted it.
She regretted telling Summer that she should focus on her relationship with her daughter, who had just moved in with her, and that she needed space. It was all a lie.
What was really going on was Elsie was starting to panic, she was going into the “am I really capable of a healthy relationship, can I make her happy, how long is this really going to last” mode. Instead of talking about it, Elsie decided to run away from it, to get out of the relationship.
Elsie looked at her watch. She had just under two hours to get to the office. She was meeting Jewell’s cousin, Harmony, at 12:30 PM. She already knew she was going to hire her. She was trusting Jewell’s judgment. She just wanted to speak with her and find out what kind of person she was and why she wanted the job. But most important, she wanted to feel her vibe, see if she was the type of person she wanted to be around every day.
Elsie was standing in line at Victoria’s Secret about to pay for some undergarments when she felt someone place their hand on her waist.
She turned around with the quickness ready to knock someone out, but was surprised to see Trey, an old high school crush, standing behind her with a big-ass smile on his face.
“Oh my God, Trey?”
Laughing, he removed his hand. “The one and only.”
Elsie wrapped her arms around him. “You still look the same, plus twenty something years.”
Trey looked her up and down. “As do you, but just ten plus years.”
They stood and looked at one another for a couple of seconds and sized each other up.
“I was walking by and glanced in,” Trey told her. “I saw your profile and was like, oh shit, she looks like Elsie from high school. I wasn’t too sure if it was you so I decided to take a chance and see. I’m glad I did.”
“I’m glad you did too,” Elsie said. “But what if it wasn’t me?”
“Two things would have happened. I would have been embarrassed or I would have gotten a phone number.”
“Well, you almost got your head knocked off, grabbing me around my waist like that,” Elsie joked.
“Still the same feisty Elsie, huh?”
Elsie smiled. “Some things never change.”
“Um, excuse me,” the lady in line behind Elsie interrupted, “the line is moving.”
Elsie looked in front of her and saw a huge space. She stepped to the side and let the other customers go in front of her.
“What are you doing here in Jersey? I thought you had moved to Los Angeles and was producing movies.”
“Wow, you’ve been keeping up with me?”
“No, I read the tabloids,” Elsie teased.
“Well, you heard correctly. Actually, I just bought a house in Asbury Park.”
“Really?” Elsie knew that most of the homes in Asbury Park now sold for over three hundred thousand. There were some that were going for close to a million.
“Yes, really; after all, Asbury Park is on the rise, why not invest?”
“I hear that.” Elsie looked at Trey again, this time taking in his tailored clothing and expensive shoes and jewelry. She couldn’t believe that he was standing in front of her. What a coincidence and coincidences were something she didn’t believe in.
“Excuse me,” the cashier said as she looked at Trey the whole time, “May I help you? Elsie put her things on the counter and pulled out her credit card.
“Are you free right now, maybe we can grab a cup of coffee or brunch and catch up on one another?” Trey asked.
“I’m really not. I was running into For the Soul and then I have to get to my office.”
“Well, let me take your number and maybe we can get together this evening. I’d love to catch up.”
Elsie looked at Trey and realized that she would love to catch up as well. After all, he was her first male crush. A crush that didn’t go far because shortly afterward she realized she was attracted to women.
“Here,” Elsie pulled a card out of her purse, “call me and I’ll let you know when I’m free.”
The cashier gave Elsie back her card, the receipt, and handed her the bag. Elsie looked at receipt, stuck it in her bag, and started walking out the store with Trey behind her.
“A nonprofit, huh?” Trey was reading Elsie’s business card.
“Yes.”
“That’s decent,” he told her. “I’m going to call you.”
“I’d like that,” Elsie responded. She could feel him watching her as she walked away and knew that she was going to have to break it to him that she was gay. It amused Elsie when men tried to press up on her. She wasn’t one to play the “lead him on game,” she wanted men to know from the gate that she was interested in women only.
Of course, she would get the you don’t know what you’re missing or maybe I can change your mind line. What was it with some men, thinking dick was the answer?
When Elsie arrived at the office, a young lady was standing by the door.
“Harmony?” Elsie asked.
“Yes.”
“Come on up.” Elsie opened the door and led the way upstairs to the office. “Make yourself comfortable and I’ll be right with you.”
“Okay,” Harmony replied as she sat down in the guest area. She glanced around and liked what she saw. I could really see myself working here.
Elsie went into her office and pulled the résumé Harmony faxed over out of her desk and skimmed through it. It didn’t show any administrative experience but that was okay as long as she knew how to type. Elsie noticed that the light on the phone, which indicated there were messages, was blinking. I’ll check that later.
She walked back into the guest area where Harmony sat patiently with a nerv
ous look on her face. “You can relax, everything is going to be fine, come on, follow me.”
Harmony stood up and Elsie took in her black pants suit. At least she knows how to dress for an interview.
Harmony followed behind Elsie and tried to think of something intelligent and witty to say. Nothing came to mind, so she figured it was best to keep her mouth shut and speak when spoken to.
Elsie took a seat behind her desk and Harmony sat across from her. “So,” Elsie started and asked the dreaded question, “tell me about yourself.”
What should I say, should I say I’m a single mom, or should I talk about what I want to accomplish? Freak it, I’m just going to wing it. “Well, what is it you would like to know?” Harmony asked.
“Whatever you want to tell me.”
“Well, I’m a mother of three.”
“Three?” Elsie was surprised to hear this, for some reason she thought Harmony was a mother of one. “That must be a challenge?”
Harmony sat up straighter and said, “Sometimes it is, but they’re my babies and I’m up for the challenge.”
Elsie nodded. “Do you have a significant other?” Elsie knew these were not the type of questions you asked someone when you were interviewing them but then again, she felt that it was okay because she wanted her office to be like a family. She needed to know as much as possible about the people she was going to be surrounding herself with.
“May I ask you what that has to do with the job?”
Elsie didn’t respond immediately.
Scared that she messed up her chances, Harmony said, “Listen, I don’t mean to be smart or anything, it’s just that I really want this job and I hope that my having three kids won’t jeopardize you considering me. I’m responsible, dependable, and my children have never interfered with any job I’ve ever had.”
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