A Perfect Ambition

by Dr. Kevin Leman

  He smiled into her eyes. “I promise.” Then he’d given her a lingering kiss before packing his one bag into the Land Rover.

  As Will drove toward Chautauqua, Sarah, who sat in the front passenger seat, was her usual chatty self. Sean, slumped in the backseat, pretended he was sleeping. But Will knew all the signs, including the tension in Sean’s forearms as they rested in his lap, that his brother was awake and alert to every nuance of the conversation in the front seat. Clearly Sarah had wangled the agreement for this trip out of Sean, and he wasn’t crazy about it. Just as he wasn’t crazy about any family event where their father would be present.

  I doubt anything will ever change that, Will thought. And there’s nothing I can do about it, as much as I want to try.

  He’d given up trying a long time ago. Some things just were what they were. But the disconnect between their father and Sean still made Will sad.

  As the miles passed, Sean sat up and seemed to exhale away the tension. The three siblings shed the stress of their jobs and started to joke, with Sarah as usual taking the edge off between the two brothers.

  As they shared memories of their times in Chautauqua, Will realized how magical the place really was to all of them. Though the three siblings were poles apart in looks and personalities, Chautauqua was the one common bond they could always return to.

  As Worthingtons, they’d had experiences at early ages that most could only dream about. They’d been helicopter skiing on six glaciers. They’d been scuba diving in the most amazing places on the planet. They’d fished in Lake Malawi and traveled the Amazon with the world’s leading native tribe expert. They’d set foot on three of the tallest peaks in the world.

  But their favorite vacation spot was still their wood-framed and stone circa-1885 home on Chautauqua Lake. The house had seen six generations of Worthingtons and still stood proudly, welcoming the next generation. Time and again, their father had threatened to tear the old thing down and build a mansion that was more in keeping with the Worthington lifestyle in New York, but Ava and the siblings would have none of it. They loved the feel of the aged house, its history, and the memories of their times in it.

  Since Will had grown up hearing so many inspirational lectures in the outdoor amphitheater at Chautauqua, it had seemed logical to him to formally launch his Senate campaign from that amphitheater. Will would hold a more proper media launch event in the city later. New York City and the media would still be there when he returned. He had no doubt of that.

  Will loved the fact that Chautauqua Institution existed as a forum where great ideas could be discussed and shared. That was, after all, what political discourse was supposed to be about. It was also the one place on the planet where the Worthingtons could walk around in the village largely unnoticed or unobserved, and just listen to the steady hum of ideas that made the world seem like a place to support, nurture, and protect. It was the place that would center Will’s thoughts before he plunged into the Senate race.

  Things were already heating up. Sean had been announced as his campaign manager. The Democratic Party primary was right around the corner. But Will wasn’t concerned about the primary. He was already focused on the general election against James Loughlin. Will’s name recognition alone virtually assured that he would win the primary handily, his new campaign aides said, so he could afford to focus on the general election now.

  Will had yet to settle on his campaign themes. But he was certain of one thing. He would not be shy about criticizing Loughlin’s ties to large companies such as American Frontier that had kept him in office for two decades. It could get ugly, but Will felt like he was ready for that fight.

  It wasn’t long before he stopped the Land Rover as close as possible to the Worthington vacation home, which sat at the northern edge of the small village. Bill Worthington sat reading in an ancient rocking chair at one corner of the enormous porch that overlooked the lake. Will detected the distinctive aroma of his father’s pipe as they walked up the stone path.

  Their father briefly looked up from his book, waved at his sons, blew a kiss to his daughter, and then returned to his book. Will laughed. All three kids knew better than to take it personally. Their father would finish his chapter and then join the family discussion. He had a favorite theory that multitasking was a myth.

  “You can only do one thing at a time,” he’d always said when they were growing up. “You do that one thing very well, then you close the chapter in your mind and move on to the next thing.” The three siblings called it their dad’s “chapter theory” of life. It was, he always maintained, the only way in which you could get a great many things accomplished roughly all at once. Clearly it had worked for Bill Worthington. He had accomplished a great many things in his career, and as he said often, “I’m not dead yet.”

  Whether Sarah and Sean realized it, Will knew all three of the Worthington children had adopted their dad’s chapter theory in the way they lived their lives. Will especially was following precisely that path right now. He had closed the CEO chapter of his life and was now ready to forge ahead with his politics chapter.

  Their mom burst through the screen door, practically ran across the porch and down the steps, and hugged her three kids one at a time. She lingered for an especially long time with Will.

  “You’re all right, William? Everything is good? You are sure this is what you want?” Her questions were simple, but her intense green eyes seemed to be saying more, asking more.

  Their recent conversations flitted back into his mind. His mom had never much cared what Will, Sean, and Sarah pursued in their lives. She just wanted them to be happy in doing it. She didn’t care if Will was the CEO of the most powerful company on the planet, or whether he was starting to chart a new path toward the most powerful political office on Earth. She’d never cared whether Sarah went to Harvard Law School, or whether Sean started the next Google or Facebook that fundamentally altered the way in which the world received its daily information. She only wanted to know that they were happy, that they were pursuing their dreams, and that they were at peace with all of their many daily decisions.

  “I’m good, Mom,” Will said. “I’m happy. This is what I want to do. It’s the right next chapter in my life.”

  His mom didn’t reply, merely swiveled toward the screen door to lead them into the house.

  As Will stepped onto the porch, he smiled, inhaling the aroma of slight mustiness with a hint of oak from the aged wood.

  It was at that precise minute their father closed his book, set it on the table beside the chair, and stood to join his kids. He looked as fit and clear-eyed as always.

  “What took you so long?” he asked Will without preamble. This too was another of their father’s quirks that all three of the kids had grown accustomed to since babyhood. He would ignore two of the kids and drive straight at a third without any warning. It was a bit like a predator cutting prey from the herd—only with a well-meaning intention behind it.

  The siblings exchanged glances. Sarah, the only one not directly in her father’s vision, rolled her eyes. Will almost laughed at the predictability of the scene.

  “I presume you mean the Senate campaign?” Will answered. “My decision to get into politics?”

  “Yes, of course,” their dad said. “You all have been talking about it for years. I can still remember some fairly intense political conversations on this very porch. But none of you ever took it up as a profession. So why now?”

  “Other than the fact you insisted it was a good next step the last time I was here?” Will grinned. “And that it was about time I jump into the political arena? Honestly, it didn’t seem right until now. Until the CEO possibility was laid to rest. You know, your chapter theory.”

  At this, Sean hid his smile, and Sarah outwardly snickered.

  Their father scowled at Sarah, then continued. “I have to say, it doesn’t surprise me that you’re the one to take the leap. Out of the three of you, I’d always assumed you’
d be the one to try this. It isn’t that Sean and Sarah aren’t capable of it. But you’ve always been a natural leader.”

  Will glanced over at his brother and sister, but neither reacted to the statement. It wasn’t like they hadn’t heard it before. And it was also typical of their dad—he merely called it like he saw it and didn’t worry all that much if feelings got hurt in the truth telling. He genuinely believed that Will was the natural leader, almost by birthright. The others could argue with it all they wanted, but they’d get nowhere. It was a belief entrenched too deeply in their father, just as it had been in Bill Worthington’s own father.

  “You know, Dad,” Will said, “I might fail at this. I hope that’s all right with you.” He turned and faced his two siblings and his mother. “In fact, I hope it’s all right with all of you. I don’t ever want to do anything that harms us or the Worthington family name. If I don’t succeed in this—if I fail—it will reflect on all of you. I just wanted to say that. It’s been weighing on me.”

  His father reached out and put a hand on Will’s shoulder. Unlike their mom, their father had never been one for hugs or affection. When he did show affection, it always came as something of a shock to the three kids.

  “William, we can only do our best,” his dad said. “When that isn’t enough, it’s perfectly fine. Trying, and failing, is part of life. It’s the failure to try that’s the unforgivable sin. But there’s one unalterable truth that should govern everything you do. It takes as much energy to think big as it does small, so you might as well think big. So give it everything you have. It doesn’t matter to us, to our family, if you fail. It only matters if you don’t try.”

  Will smiled. Sounded a lot like what Laura had told him.

  “And,” their dad added, “always . . .”

  “Do the right thing,” all three siblings chimed in.

  “Enough,” their mom said. “You four can settle the world’s problems later. It’s time for dinner. And I worked too hard for it to get cold.”

  49

  CHAUTAUQUA INSTITUTION

  The campaign announcement at Chautauqua Institution had gone exactly as planned. Will heaved a sigh of relief since another step in the process was now over.

  Laura and the kids had been there, beaming, watching Will make the announcement. When people in the crowd started cheering, Davy had jumped out of his seat and fist-punched the air with a “Yaaaaah!” Patricia hugged her mother. Andrew merely straightened in his seat, but Will could see the pride that radiated from his eyes.

  Yes, Will thought, Andrew is a natural to lead the next generation of Worthingtons.

  At that moment he realized that what his father had said and thought about him was the same thing he was thinking about his son. No matter how much Will tried not to put pressure on Andrew, the boy would always feel it. Just as Will had. As he was feeling it now.

  As he left the platform, he saw tears of joy in Laura’s eyes and saw her mouth the words, “I love you.”

  “I love you too,” he mouthed back before he was swallowed by the crowd.

  That night after dinner, Will grabbed a small blanket and made his way alone from the family home toward the lake. He wanted a long dose of peace and quiet and hoped to drink in the colors of the sunset—something he’d missed on his last visit when the conversation with his father had turned intense.

  He and his mom were the only ones home. His father, though semiretired, still kept a busy schedule, even from Chautauqua. Right after dinner, he’d excused himself for a meeting in the village.

  Sarah had declared her intention to stroll through the village, enjoying the cobblestone streets under the lights and the ambiance that only Chautauqua had. Their mother claimed tiredness. But Sean and the kids immediately took Sarah up on the invitation.

  “Guess I’ll have to go along to keep you all out of trouble,” Laura had said in a mock grudging tone.

  “Ice cream, Mom! We gotta get ice cream!” Davy exclaimed.

  Laura nodded, then turned toward Will. All she did was jiggle her head toward his mom. The message was clear: “Find out now what’s up with your mom, and quit stalling. And you better have a report for me by the time we’re back.”

  Will sighed. His hoped-for peace and quiet would be shorter than he’d planned. Still, he was on his way now, determined to enjoy the slight slapping of the water in the lake before he faced the next whatever-it-was.

  He’d only been there for five or so minutes when he heard footsteps behind him.

  “Beautiful, isn’t it?” a soft voice said. “And peaceful.”

  His mother stood behind him. He patted the blanket as an invitation, but she didn’t join him.

  Instead she murmured from behind his back, “Son, what happens next is going to be anything but peaceful for you . . . and for us. Desperate people will do desperate things. And sometimes even good people can get desperate.”

  Sandstrom, good? Loughlin, good? Was that what she meant? His mind grappled in confusion. But who else can she mean? What am I missing?

  “In the long run, the truth will always win out,” she continued. “Things that are hidden will be revealed.”

  Why was she quoting what his father normally said?

  “Mom . . . ,” he began.

  “Wait, son, I need you to hear what I’m going to say.”

  There was enough of a mother’s reprimand in her tone that he kept his silence.

  “All of us—the entire family—will now be in the spotlight because you’re in the Senate race. There are things you don’t know, that even your father does not know.”

  “But what—”

  She put a hand on his shoulder, shushing him. “There was a time”—she took a deep breath—“when you were very young that I felt incredibly lonely. Your father often traveled. If it wasn’t for the friendships I’d developed from my days at Harvard, I would have felt lost in the middle of the Worthingtons. The power, the prestige was so much pressure.”

  Will was even more confused now. Where was his mother going with all this?

  “One summer, Thomas invited us as a family to Camp David.”

  Thomas Spencer Rich II. At that time the president of the United States. Will’s memories of that time flitted into his consciousness.

  “That was back when we were doing a lot together as families. I was hopeful it would draw us—your father and I—closer together again to have a little vacation.” Her voice quivered now. “But Bill was only there a few hours before he was called away. And then Victoria decided she’d already had enough of ‘camping,’ as she called it, and whisked herself and Spencer back to the White House.”

  And Will had been glad of it. He remembered being happy when Spencer left, and he could explore the woods to his heart’s delight.

  “Thomas and I had a wonderful time catching up on our lives. That night”—she took another breath—“I rediscovered a part of myself I had forgotten about. The passionate Irish spirit that I thought had been locked away forever in the pressure of becoming a Worthington.”

  Will’s heart skipped a beat. His mind struggled to put together the disparate pieces of what he was hearing.

  “Nine months later, your brother was born.”

  In that moment Will’s world stopped. He gasped for breath. He started to shake.

  She squeezed his shoulder and moved in front of him. Sinking to her knees, she looked at him, her usually vibrant green eyes muddied now with sorrow, with regret.

  “Will . . .” She wrapped her arms around him and held him as they both cried. Then she whispered into his hair, “Now you know what no one else does. I never told Thomas. But at times I think he has guessed. I saw the flicker in his eyes the first time he saw Sean, years later, and learned that Sean’s middle name is Thomas.”

  Will had no idea when his mother finally left his side. He hadn’t even heard her footsteps as she made her way back to the house. He simply sat on the blanket, staring blankly into the sky. He didn’t see the v
ibrant sunset, nor the sky darken to night. His world was forever altered, spinning on a different axis.

  At last a gentle voice called, “Will?”

  It was Laura. And oh, how he needed her.

  NEW YORK CITY

  It seemed like an unusual place to receive payment for his street-acting job, but he didn’t care. He just wanted to be paid, to be done with all of it. As soon as he had the money, he’d get on a train or a bus and leave the city.

  He had no plan. He didn’t know where he’d go next. But he knew that he had to leave New York. First, though, he had to get his money. If it meant that he had to meet his contact on the roof of a 30-story building at the edge of Times Square, then that was what he’d do.

  He’d planned to take the elevator up to the top floor when he got to the building, but he was fairly certain the guy at the desk was connected to them. The desk guard stared directly at him when he walked inside, and he feared the man would do something, call someone. So he panicked and bolted into the stairwell. He started walking up the stairs, listening for footsteps behind him, and sped up with every new sound.

  He almost collapsed from the effort of climbing all the stairs, but at last he made it to the top. He wasn’t sure what time it was or whether his contact was there with his money. But it would all work out now. He’d made it to the top. He’d survived the trip. They hadn’t found him. In a short while he’d have his money, and he could leave.

  At the top of the stairwell, he found the last door. He ignored the signs about the emergency exit and didn’t pay any attention to the buzzing as he went through the door, out onto the roof. The burst of bright sunshine startled him. He shielded his eyes and scanned the rooftop.

  As he stumbled toward the center of the barren rooftop, he took a quick peek over the horizon. He could see Times Square from here. Even in the glare of the midday sun, the dazzling lights of the displays in Times Square were stunning.