Tattooed Hearts

by C. A. Harms

  That had to be the most pathetic thing I’d ever heard, and my father was exactly the asshole I’d always thought he was. Robby wasn’t the only person I’d allowed to rob me of six years; my father had done that too. And his coming forward now as if to say sorry for what he’d put me through wasn’t enough.

  But while his words meant nothing to me, Stanley looked at me as if he’d struck gold.

  “I’ve spoken with Judge Anders,” he said as he took a seat on the opposite side of his desk. Sean sat at my side, also looking over at the papers I held. “With your father’s statements, your own statements, and the police reports, we’ve hit the jackpot in this divorce case.”

  I flinched at his excitement.

  “Robby’s got nothing compared to what we got. He’s got no grounds for visitation, nothing to show you were the one that couldn’t make it work, because this all lies on his shoulders.” Stanley rubbed his hands together, almost giddy. It was irritating, and I now understood why Sean chose to shelter me from Mr. Wainwright.

  “I’m ready to rip this thing open wide,” he said.

  I instantly sensed Sean’s change in demeanor and placed my hand on to his arm to calm him.

  “Though I don’t share your excitement at airing my dirty laundry, I do look forward to this coming to an end,” I stated calmly. “I know this is your job, Mr. Wainwright, and from what I’ve been told, you’re great at it. But please consider that this is my life you’re so happy ready to ‘rip wide open,’” I said, using air quotes. “These memories still hurt me and still affect my son, so have some compassion.”

  Stanley stared at me, though his expression had softened a bit.

  “Robby may not deserve for this to go as smoothly as possible, but my son and I do.” I took a deep breath. “I’d appreciate you taking that into consideration.”

  Stanley held my stare, and I showed no signs of being intimidated. This was my life, and I had been pushed around enough to last a lifetime.

  I thought I handled it well, but in no way was the caveman at my side going to sit back without adding his two cents.

  “I’m paying you to end this marriage, not to fuck with Jenny’s life. So I suggest you stop acting like a fat cat swimming in a tank of tuna and do this as quickly and discretely as possible.”

  I tried not to laugh. But seriously, “a fat cat in a tank of tuna”? It was impossible not to smile. Even in the midst of all this drama, whether he meant to or not, Sean still found a way to make me laugh.

  As difficult as our trip to Irving was, there were some happy times too. Molly made sure of it. Landyn and I spent the morning after visiting Mr. Wainwright’s office baking cookies in her kitchen. And not just one specific kind either. I swear that woman could make any type of cookie imaginable. It was her way of making this place memorable once again, and I loved her for it. For hours we were lost in a world of baking and laughter and love, compliments of the woman that helped raise the most perfect man who chose to love me and my son unconditionally. Although we may not be perfect and sometimes bicker like an old married couple, I wouldn’t change it for the world. I wholeheartedly believed he was my future, my soul mate.

  The road ahead wouldn’t be easy, because I was sure Robby would put up a fight. He just wasn’t smart enough to admit defeat. But as Sean once told me, he and I would get through it together. Just as we would everything else to come our way. Because he and I were meant to be.

  Had someone asked me six months ago if I’d thought I’d ever get the chance to prove the love I’d always felt for Sean, I would have thought they were crazy. Because I’d been convince I’d pushed away the one person who truly loved me. Now here he was, loving me, loving my son, and being our protector. And I had never in my life felt so safe.

  Six months later

  “HOW DOES IT feel to be divorced?” Sean asked as he stepped up behind me and wrapped me in his arms. He rested his chin on my shoulder as he looked at the papers in my hands.

  It was finally over. I’d been granted my divorce, and Robby was once again in trouble with the law. Last we heard he was looking at three years or more for his recent crimes. He’d stopped fighting against me when he realized he wasn’t going to win. I’m sure the attorney fees were part of it too.

  “It feels amazing,” I confessed, “life-altering and completely satisfying.” I smiled widely because I felt like I could now breathe without the weight of the world resting on my shoulders. Though Sean did a great job of distracting me from the harsh reality of my life, it had been in the back of my mind.

  “So now that you’re free,” he whispered before kissing along the side of my neck, “I was wondering if I could ask you for something?”

  My heart rate spiked as I tried to show little reaction to his words and touch. “Mm,” I moaned softly, because it was too hard to hold back.

  “Stay with me now,” he cooed, and I rolled my eyes at his cockiness. He knew how to be distracting, so it was his fault I was losing focus. “I wanted to ask you for something,” he continued, still resting his chin upon my shoulder.

  “What could you possibly need from me that you don’t already possess, Mr. Nichols?” I was trying with everything I had to ignore the way his lips felt against my shoulder, or the teasing way his tongue trailed along my neck.

  “I can think of a few things,” he whispered against my ear, giving me chills.

  “What?” I asked breathlessly.

  “For starters, you could marry me,” he said, and I smiled as I looked back over my shoulder at him.

  “As if that was ever a question.” He had talked about in every single day since we left Irving six months ago. Each time it sent a rush of excitement through me.

  “What else?” I asked, because now I was curious.

  He turned me in his arms, and my body was now facing his. The way he was looking at me made me feel light-headed. After all this time, you would think that feeling would fade, but for us it only seemed to grow stronger.

  “More children,” he whispered and tears clouded my vision. “Lots and lots of children,” he added, making me laugh.

  “Lots?” I asked playfully as I circled his waist with my arms.

  “Oh yes, lots,” he said just before he leaned over and pressed his lips to mine, backing me toward the counter behind us. “And I think we should start working on that now,” he said against my mouth.

  “Now?” I said with a giggle.

  “Definitely right now,” he insisted just before he began lifting my skirt. “I think we should try all night and into the morning.”

  I couldn’t control my laughter when he reached around to cup my ass and pull me in closer. I loved his carefree attitude and how he needed me. It felt good to be needed. The desire in his eyes was something I’d never experienced before in my marriage to Robby.

  Not every marriage is full of happiness and love, and I was grateful Sean gave me those things every day. And I in turn gave all of myself to him.

  SEAN

  I wouldn’t accept a courthouse wedding. Jenny deserved better.

  Even though she said she was happy with a simple one, I had waited for what felt like a lifetime to call her mine, and I wanted it all—the fancy dress, the guys in tuxedos, flowers, and all our friends and family there to celebrate our love with us. I knew she wanted that too, deep down, because Jenny couldn’t hide her excitement when she ran across the things I secretly stashed around the house just to prove a point, like the wedding magazine with what I considered the perfect dress for her on the cover. I may have also searched for wedding decorations online and then walked away with the browser still open so she’d see them later. Each time I’d stand back and secretly watch as she’d look through them all in awe.

  It confirmed what I already knew.

  So I’d give a real wedding to her, even if I had to hire someone else to set it all up.

  But there was one thing I had to do.

  I found Landyn sitting on the back deck, looking a
t those comic books he loved so much. He was now seven years old, and it was crazy how much he was growing up. I felt like it happened overnight.

  He looked up at the sound of the back door opening and smiled up at me. I was hit by the happiness I felt each time he or Jenny looked at me; like I hung the moon.

  “Whatcha doing?” I asked as I sat at his side.

  “Mom brought me home the newest Batman comic,” he said, moving his attention back to the book in his lap.

  “I was wondering if you had a minute so we could talk about something.”

  He nodded as he lowered the book to the table at his side and turned completely sideways to face me. “Sure,” he said, giving me his full attention.

  “You know I’ve asked you mom to marry me,” I began and could see from his happy smile that the idea pleased him. He nodded once again.

  “She said she didn’t want a big wedding, but I think she deserves one. What do you think?” I was about to put a lot of pressure on him to keep a secret, and I hoped he’d be able to keep it.

  “I think she does too,” he agreed and I slid in closer.

  “So what I wanted to ask you is, if you’ll be my best man.”

  He again gave me that look I adored. “Really?” he asked, and it was now my turn to nod. “Okay,” he said with a smile, then it morphed into a look of confusion.

  “What’s wrong, bud?”

  He hesitated for a minute before looking back at me. “I don’t know what a best man does.”

  That’s what worried him? Damn, this kid.

  I hooked his shoulder with my arm and pulled him closer. “You stand by me at the wedding, Landyn,” I explained. “You hold the ring I’ll give to your mom until the preacher asks for it.”

  “I can do that,” he stated without hesitation.

  “Good,” I said with a smile, “because there is no one else I’d rather have by my side.” Now it was time to really stump him. “But it also means you have to plan my bachelor party.” I tried not to laugh when he looked up at me with a surprised “oh shit” look in his eyes.

  Then a small grin tugged at his lips and his eyes lit up with excitement. “I know what we can do.”

  I waited for him to explain, enjoying his happiness too much to interrupt.

  “We could go paintballing,” he practically shouted, and I leaned back in my chair to keep from being punched by his flailing arms. “What do you think, Sean?”

  “I think that’s my kind of party, bud.”

  I’d never shared the kind of bond I had with Landyn with anyone else. He made a good day great and a dark day tolerable. He was such a happy kid, and I would always treasure having him near. He was my best friend, my best man. And he was my son it every way that mattered.

  JENNY

  I STOOD IN the stands, staring out at the track, focus on number forty-four as it led the pack of cars. Excitement coursed through me as I imagined the rush of adrenaline Sean must be feeling.

  He had recovered from his injuries and worked so hard to reach his dream, and now he was in first place. Even Dirk was unable to take that from him this time.

  I had one hand resting on Landyn’s shoulder as he stared out at Sean’s car, just as mesmerized as I was. My other hand lay sprawled out over the small bump that held my child.

  Sean’s child.

  “He’s winning,” Landyn cried as he bounced up and down.

  Sean’s car rounded the last corner and hit the straightaway as the official raised the checkered flag. I took in a deep breath and fisted my hands, trying my best to remain at ease.

  Whenever he raced, I still worried he would be taken from us in the blink of an eye. It was crippling at times, though I pushed through it and stood by his side. This was who he was now, and being with Sean meant I’d have to conquer those fears.

  The roar of the crowd and the hum of the engines were hypnotizing.

  The fans loved Sean. They were all rooting for his comeback, and for his success. And I won’t lie, I was in awe of him too. In awe of the man he’d become and the lives he’d touched by simply being the loving and inspiring person he was.

  He never refused a fan. He always took the time to sign an autograph or wave at a young kid that looked at him as if he hung the moon. He was never cocky or arrogant, only humbled by the mere fact they thought he was something special.

  Landyn reached up and took my hand in his, squeezing it tightly. We were both lost in the moment as the forty-four car passed the finish line. It was almost like a dream, the wave of the flag and the raging excitement of the crowd mixing with the pure joy that rushed through me.

  He’d won. But in my eyes he had always been number one.

  I had slowly begun to learn the logistics of NASCAR, so I knew what this meant for Sean, and I was almost giddy with what I knew was to come.

  For the first time, Sean would be the driver taking that victory lap. He had dreamed of that often, telling me what he’d do if he ever got the chance to experience it.

  And now he’d gained the chance.

  The crowd stood and began waving their hands in the air as they screamed out Sean’s name and number. I couldn’t control my tears of joy for the man that held my heart.

  He deserved this.

  Landyn squealed as he jumped up and down, waving his arms when Sean passed. We watched him take the lap as he waved out the driver’s-side window to all his adoring fans.

  My heart raced, my eyes flooded with tears, and I held my stomach a little tighter, thinking of how lucky this baby would be. Not only did this child have the love of me and Landyn, but he or she would have the most amazing, caring father in the world. Just as Landyn now did.

  When Sean completed his lap and slowed on the track just before us, I smiled, knowing just what was to come next. The spinning of his tires and the smoke coming from them made me laugh as he began to spin the car.

  “Hell yeah,” an excited fan screamed from behind me, only causing me to laugh harder.

  The longer he provided a burnout, the rowdier the crowd became. They were absolutely loving it, Landyn included. I think he was Sean’s biggest fan.

  When Sean’s car finally came to a stop, the crowd screamed louder. My heart raced as he climbed out the driver’s-side window and stood on the track next to his car. When he raised his hand in the air and pointed directly at me, I swear my heart leaped. I don’t think I’d ever lose the rush he gives me. Each kiss, each touch, and even a simple look from him sent my pulse into overdrive.

  I pressed my hand to my lips and kissed my fingertips before lifting it into the air and pointing directly at him.

  The happiness on his face made me even happier.

  Loving someone unconditionally meant picking them up when they fell and sharing their joy when they succeeded. And Sean had offered Landyn and I every bit of that.

  Now it was his turn.

  THE CHARMED GIRLS, you are all amazing. The continued support you show me is something I will never be able to express just how much it means to me. Thank you all for sharing my work and for just being you. You are all the greatest bunch of ladies.

  Thank you, Lydia, because you are a true friend and motivator, always making me laugh and smile. We are an amazing team, and your friendship means the world. Thank you for being one of my biggest cheerleaders.

  Nancy Gennes Metsch, my hashtag queen, you are a rock star. I wanted to thank you for the way you lead the Charmed Girls group. I truly appreciate it. Your dedication means the world.

  Maria, no, I have not forgotten about you and never could. You are always there, willing to read through my roughest drafts and give me feedback. You give me a boost when I hit a dead spot and get me back on track. Thank you for being the push I need to continue on.

  To my husband and children, thank you for being the best part of my days. For tolerating me when I get lost in the world of fiction and understanding that sometimes dinner may be a little late. Jayden and Tayler, no matter how many books I write, you
two will always be my best creations.

  My readers, I am always so humbled by your support. Those random messages I received after you read my books, whether it be something big or small, I truly love them. Hearing what you think, in my eyes, is one of the greatest things about releasing a new book. I am never too busy for you.

  A LITTLE ABOUT ME, LET’S see where to start.

  I love HEA stories, as long as they come packing a little heat. I need some excitement, some angst, and moments that make me fan my face, those are always good too. I am an Illinois girl, born and raised. Simple and true, it honestly doesn’t take much to make me happy. I love the little things, they truly mean the most. I may have a slight addiction to my new Keurig—oh my, that thing is a godsend. And so fast too. I have two children who truly are my very best friends. Their faces never fail to put a smile on my face. I have been married to my husband for sixteen years, and even though at times I want to beat him with a stick, I would never change the years we have had. We have learned and fallen, only to pick each other up, dust off the aches, and help each other make it right.

  I am one of those authors that adore my fans. I love to hear from you. After all, it is because of each one of you that I continue to write. I look forward to you feedback.

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