A Child of Her Own

by Beverly Barton

  “I know everything about you that I need to know.” He cupped her hips, easing her closer and closer, until their bodies touched intimately.

  “You’ve told me about your shortcomings over and over again,” Lori Lee said. “You keep telling me that I shouldn’t love you because you’re too much this and not enough that. How do I convince you that I love you despite your shortcomings? I can live with your imperfections, Rick. Can you live with mine?”

  “You don’t have any imperfections.” He rubbed his cheek against hers. “You’re the most perfect woman on earth.”

  “What if I did have a flaw, an imperfection that kept me from being all that you want me to be?”

  “But you are all that I want you to be. No man could ask for more.”

  She knew she should tell him about her miscarriages, about her operation and her subsequent infertility. He had every right to know that his perfect woman was terribly flawed. Her perfect body wasn’t capable of performing a woman’s most basic function. Conceiving, carrying and giving birth to a child.

  And she would tell him. Once he’d applied for and received a loan from Tuscumbia Savings and Loan, she would be completely honest with him. Before he asked her to marry him. Before he committed himself. She didn’t want Rick unless he truly loved her, completely and unconditionally, as she loved him. And she realized that once he discovered just how imperfect she was, he might not even want her.

  Ten

  Rick had never owned a suit in his entire life, not until now. And he didn’t think he’d ever get used to wearing a tie. The damn thing felt like a noose around his big neck. But today was special—it was a day that required him to look like a successful businessman.

  Three weeks ago he’d just about given up hope of ever realizing his dreams, and now here he was at a party given in his honor to celebrate the reopening, under a new name, of his own heating and air-conditioning company. Eve had insisted on a ribbon-cutting ceremony earlier today, and Aunt Birdie and Lori Lee had helped her plan tonight’s party.

  Not only had Lori Lee been a hundred percent right about Tuscumbia Savings and Loan approving his loan application, but she’d been right about the majority of her friends and acquaintances, most of whom were milling around in Eve’s home right now. Powell Goodman and the Royces were conspicuous by their absence, but Rick figured nobody missed them. He sure as hell didn’t.

  He’d been amazed not only by how many fellow businessmen had attended today’s ribbon-cutting ceremony, but that they had actually invited him to join several of their local business-related organizations. And at tonight’s party, a Tuscumbia pharmacist and a restaurateur had invited him to play golf with them next Saturday. Golf? Rick Warrick playing golf? Aunt Birdie, who had overheard the conversation, had accepted for him and later told him he could borrow her late husband’s set of clubs.

  Lori Lee smiled at him from across the room, and the bottom dropped out of his stomach. Kneeling in front of Darcie, Lori Lee was retying the pink ribbon in his daughter’s hair. And for the millionth time he marveled at the similarity between woman and child.

  He was damn glad he’d been wrong about everything, that he wasn’t destined to be a loser, that life was finally giving him a hand up instead of a kick in the pants. He had to be the luckiest guy on the face of the earth. Who else had so many people on his side, rooting for him, believing in him, refusing to let him give up when things looked hopeless? And what other reformed bad boy had the good fortune to have Lori Lee Guy in love with him?

  He slipped his hand in his coat pocket, checking for the hundredth time to make sure the ring box was still there. Maybe he should have waited, given Lori Lee a chance to come to her senses and realize that he’d never be good enough for her. But while he was on a winning streak, he figured there was no time like the present to reach out and take what he’d always wanted.

  He wished he could have bought her a big diamond, something she could show proudly to her friends. But he couldn’t afford a big diamond, so he’d chosen something less expensive—a ring that reminded him of Lori Lee. The marquis-cut golden topaz lying in the jeweler’s case had caught his eye the minute he’d walked into the store. The band was gold, the front and sides of it filigree, giving the ring an antique look, and the topaz was surrounded by tiny diamond chips. The topaz had been less expensive than the diamond he’d wanted to buy her, but even the topaz would have to be paid for in monthly installments. Right now, he was just about as broke as a guy could be.

  Tonight, when he took Lori Lee home after the party, he planned to ask her to marry him. He’d be up front with her, remind her of all the reasons she’d be a fool to say yes, and then tell her he loved her and beg her to be his wife. Somehow he’d find a way to give her whatever her heart desired. More than anything he wanted to make Lori Lee happy. She had everything to give him, and he had so little to give her in return.

  With Deanie Webber on one side of him and Mindy Jenkins on the other, he was caught in the middle of their giggling conversation. The moment he saw his sister go into the kitchen, he realized her departure gave him a means of escape.

  “If you ladies will excuse me, I think Eve needs my help in the kitchen.”

  As much as he liked both Deanie and Mindy, a little bit of their bubbly personalities went a long way. He smiled and spoke to several people who greeted him warmly as he made his way through the crowd. He stopped twice to shake hands, first with the mayor and then with Phil Webber’s brother, Charles, a local contractor.

  Rick shoved open the hinged swinging door to Eve’s big, bright kitchen, but stopped dead still when he heard what his sister was saying.

  “I’ll never be able to thank you enough, Miss Birdie.” Eve wrapped her arms around the elderly woman and hugged her lovingly. “None of this could have happened without you. We owe you so much.”

  “Nonsense, girl.” Grasping Eve’s hands, Birdie patted them affectionately. “I did what I wanted to do. I’ve always thought Rick was the only man meant for my Lori Lee. Do you honestly think that I’d have let anything interfere with their happiness when they were finally so close to getting together?”

  “Rick’s like a new man since he got the loan. I’ve never seen him so happy, and with so many plans for the future. All his dreams are coming true, thanks to you.”

  “All I did was make a phone call to my nephew over at Tuscumbia Savings and Loan,” Birdie said.

  Rick’s jaw tightened painfully as he clamped his teeth together. He should have known. Dammit! He should have known! He’d been so proud of himself for getting the loan, so sure that the bank had given him the money he needed because of his personal credentials, his good credit report and his outstanding work record.

  But it was a lie. All of it was a lie. What had Aunt Birdie done, guaranteed his loan with her own money? Yeah, that’s exactly what she’d done. She wanted to make sure Lori Lee’s future husband got what he needed to succeed in Tuscumbia, and the old woman sure as hell had enough money and clout to pull it off. Was that why so many of Tuscumbia’s solid citizens were befriending him now? Why so many fellow businessmen attended the ribbon-cutting today and were here at this party tonight? Because Birdie Pierpont had issued an order requiring their presence?

  Lori Lee had known, of course. Hell, she’d probably been the one to ask for her aunt’s help. She knew he couldn’t succeed on his own, that he didn’t have a prayer of being accepted in this town without a great deal of help from someone with a whole lot of power. Lucky for her, she just happened to have an aunt who filled the bill.

  “Let me add my thanks to my sister’s,” Rick said, his voice cold and deadly controlled.

  Birdie gasped. Eve jumped. And the two women swung around guiltily, like two children caught with their hands in the cookie jar.

  “Rick, don’t get upset.” Eve held out her hand pleadingly. “All Miss Birdie did was lean the scales back in your favor after all the harm Mara Royce and Powell Goodman caused.”

&nb
sp; “Is that what you did, Aunt Birdie? Lean the scales in my favor?” Rick glared at the old woman who lifted her double chin and stared at him defiantly. “Lori Lee said, Rick needs a big loan, Auntie. How about making sure he gets it?”

  “That’s not how it happened,” Birdie told him.

  “Isn’t it?” Rick balled his hands into fists, longing to ram them through the wall. “You could’ve just given me the money outright. Why bother with the pretense of a loan? No, you couldn’t do that, could you? Lori Lee probably told you that y’all would have to be careful not to bruise my ego and wound my pride. Better let Rick think he did this all on his own. That way he won’t feel like he’s been bought and paid for.”

  “Rick, how dare you say such a stupid thing to Miss Birdie,” Eve scolded her brother.

  “Yeah, how dare I? Especially after all she’s done for me.”

  “Young man, you’re sadly mistaken if you believe we plotted a conspiracy behind your back or if you think Lori Lee—”

  The kitchen door swung open. “Are y’all in here talking about me?” With sparkling eyes and a wide smile on her face, Lori Lee glided into the kitchen. She slipped her arm around Rick’s waist. He tensed at her loving touch. “What’s wrong?”

  Withdrawing from her embrace, he took a couple of steps away from her, then focused his dark gaze on her suddenly pale face.

  “Rick overheard a private conversation and misunderstood something Eve and I were discussing,” Birdie told her niece.

  “What did Rick misunderstand?” Lori Lee posed the question to her aunt, but her gaze never left Rick’s stern face.

  “Rick didn’t misunderstand a damn thing,” he said, then grabbed Lori Lee’s arm. “You couldn’t let me do it on my own, could you? You knew a loser like me could never succeed without a little help, so you got your aunt to fix things, to tidy up all my problems.”

  “What are you talking about?” Lori Lee stared at him, an incredulous look in her tear-glazed eyes. His fingers bit into her arm. She winced, but didn’t cry out.

  At that precise moment, Rick hated Lori Lee as much as he loved her. And yes, dammit all, he did love her. That had been another little bonus to his recent success. He’d finally gotten the courage and self-confidence to admit to himself that he had always loved Lori Lee Guy.

  And she loved him—but not enough to accept him for the failure he was. No, she had to make sure she wasn’t marrying some unacceptable loser.

  “I’m talking about the fact that Aunt Birdie secured my loan with the bank. Hell, the money they loaned me probably came straight out of her account. But then you already know all about it, don’t you, honey? You’re the one I really have to thank for my business, for my new friends, for my acceptance by all the right people.”

  “Rick, you’ve got things wrong,” Eve said. “You’ve blown the whole situation way out of proportion.”

  Jerking Lori Lee up against his hard chest, Rick narrowed his eyes and glowered at her, daring her to lie to him. “I wanted to do this on my own, dammit. You knew how important it was to me to prove myself. Maybe I couldn’t have done it without your help, but this way it’s meaningless.”

  Huge drops fell from Lori Lee’s tear-filled eyes as she stared at Rick, her whole body slowly going numb. She reached down, prized his fingers from around her arm and took a faltering step backward. When he reached out to steady her, she slapped his hand, then turned and fled from the kitchen.

  Birdie stomped her fat little foot on the floor. “Dammit, boy, you’ve gone and done it now.”

  “I wouldn’t blame Lori Lee if she never forgives you for being such an idiot,” Eve said.

  “So this is all my fault?” Rick punched his chest with his index finger. “I’m the one that y’all made a fool of, you know. I’m the—”

  “You, Rick Warrick, are a fool all right,” Birdie told him. “But not for the reason you think. You just took out your anger on an innocent person.”

  A gnawing sense of fear ate away at Rick’s stomach. “Are you trying to tell me that Lori Lee didn’t mastermind this whole thing, that it wasn’t her idea from the very beginning?”

  “I’m telling you that there was no grand scheme for anyone to mastermind.” Birdie waddled across the room and pointed her pudgy finger in Rick’s face. “Eve told Lori Lee and me about your loan being turned down at Colbert Federal and the reason why.” When Rick glared at Birdie, she nodded. “Yes, we both knew what had happened before you came by the shop that day.”

  “You’d already planned my rescue before I ever told Lori Lee anything,” Rick accused her. “When she told me to apply for a loan at Tuscumbia Savings and Loan, she knew they wouldn’t turn me down, didn’t she?”

  “Yes, she knew, just as I knew, that once they checked your records and saw that you qualified for the loan, they’d give it to you.” Birdie shook her finger in his face. “And that’s exactly the way it happened. You got the loan because you deserved it. Just like Darcie won her trophy because she deserved it.”

  “But you pulled some strings at the bank for me to get the loan,” Rick said.

  “All I did was call my nephew, Guy Stephenson, and tell him that when you applied for a loan, I wanted them to judge you on merit alone, and if they dared let John Hobart or Powell Goodman influence their decision in any way, I’d withdraw my money from their bank.” Birdie tapped Rick on the chest several times, emphasizing her point. “I did just what Eve said I did, I tipped the scales back in your favor. You did the rest on your own.”

  “That’s all you did?” Salty bile rose in Rick’s throat. He suddenly felt sick at his stomach. God, he was a fool. And an idiot. And the biggest jerk in the world.

  Tom Nelson swung open the kitchen door and walked in. “What’s wrong with Lori Lee?” he asked. “She just ran out the front door and got in her car.”

  “She left?” Rick asked.

  “Yeah, and she was in a pretty big hurry,” Tom said. “I called out to her when I noticed she was crying, but I don’t think she even heard me.”

  “I’ve got to go to her.” Rick slammed his hand into the door, swinging it open.

  Birdie grabbed his arm. “Don’t you go to her unless you’re prepared to do more than apologize to her. Don’t go to her out of guilt and remorse. She deserves better.”

  “She deserves better than me,” Rick agreed. “I’ve always known I wasn’t good enough for her. But that’s never stopped me from wanting her and it’s not going to stop me from asking her to marry me.”

  Birdie loosened her hold on Rick, then patted his arm tenderly. “What Lori Lee needs is a man who will love her enough to overlook her flaws, to convince her that her inadequacies don’t matter.”

  “That’s the one thing I can give her. I can love her more than anybody else ever could.”

  “Can you love her despite her flaws?” Birdie asked.

  “Lori Lee doesn’t have any flaws,” Rick said. “She’s perfect. She’s always been perfect.”

  “You’re wrong, Rick. Lori Lee isn’t perfect. No one is.” Birdie looped her arm around Rick’s. “I’ll walk out to your truck with you. There’s something I think you should know before you go after Lori Lee and ask her to marry you.”

  Rick pulled his truck up in the driveway directly behind Lori Lee’s Riviera. When he reached the small porch of her two-story brick colonial house, he found the front door standing wide open.

  Dear God, give me the chance to make things right with her. For once in my life, let me say and do all the right things. I can’t blow this. I can’t lose Lori Lee.

  Walking into the foyer, Rick looked around, but didn’t see her. He closed the door behind him.

  “Lori Lee?”

  Silence.

  “Lori Lee, honey? Where are you?”

  Silence.

  “I know that I’m the biggest idiot in the world and you have every right not to forgive me, but if you’ll just give me one more chance, I promise—”

  “Don’
t make any promises you can’t keep.” Holding Tyke in her arms, Lori Lee walked out of the living room and halted in the doorway leading into the foyer.

  “Honey, I...” He took a few tentative steps toward her, then held out his hands beseechingly. Her beautiful face was streaked with tears, her eyes red and swollen. He could kick himself for hurting her this way. “I acted like a macho jerk back at Eve’s and I know it.”

  “You’re a proud man.” She stroked Tyke’s head lovingly. “I realize that there have been times in your life that the only thing you had was your pride.”

  “Yeah, but in this case I let my pride get in the way of seeing the truth.” Rick took another step toward her, holding his breath when she didn’t back away from him. “Aunt Birdie and Eve set me straight. They’ve pretty much ripped all the hide off me, but you’re welcome to rip off what’s left.”

  Tyke squirmed in Lori Lee’s arms. Leaning over, she set him on the floor and patted his back. The little Boston terrier sniffed Rick’s feet, then cocked his head and gave the big man a thorough inspection. Satisfied that their guest was friend and not foe, Tyke scurried off toward the living room.

  Lori Lee straightened and looked at Rick, a tenuous smile on her lips. Fresh tears gathered in her eyes. “You can’t spend the rest of your life afraid to believe in yourself. Darcie deserves a father who knows his own worth. How can you teach her to be self-confident, if you aren’t?”

  “What about you, Lori Lee? What do you deserve?” he asked, closing the gap between them with one final step.

  When Rick reached out and tenderly clasped Lori Lee’s elbows, she shivered as tears streamed down her cheeks. She shook her head, unable to answer his question.

  “I’ll tell you what you deserve.” Rick bent down on one knee. “You deserve a man who loves you with all his heart and soul. A man who can promise to love you and be faithful to you for the rest of your life. A man who would lay down his life and die for you.” Rick grabbled in his coat pocket for the jeweler’s box. “A man who wants to spend the next fifty years or so doing everything he possibly can to make you happy.”