A Girl Like Lilac

by Victoria L. James

  Once we arrived at our homes, the two of us walked to the patch of grass that sat between our bedroom windows, him facing my house, me facing his. We crossed our legs as we stared at each other and let the sun rise all around us.

  “So… what now?” I asked, hopeful.

  Toby’s eyes searched mine. “Do you mean what now, as in what are we going to do today? Or do you mean what now as in what are we going to do for the rest of our lives?”

  “Just today.”

  He reached out for my hands, holding them in between the two us as our feet bumped together. “Did you get any sleep last night?”

  “No.” I shook my head.

  “First of all, we’re going to get some sleep then.”

  “Together?”

  He jerked his chin in the direction of my window. “Do you think you can get away with sneaking me into your bedroom for an hour or two?”

  “I think we can manage that.” I sighed as I tried to suppress my excitement. “Then what?”

  “You’ll see.”

  “You have no idea, do you?” I chuckled.

  “Not a single damn clue.” He laughed back. “I just thought saying that made me sound smoother than I really am.”

  I reached out to cup his cheek. “You’re the smoothest criminal I know.”

  He leaned forward and pressed his warm, welcoming lips to mine like the two of us had been kissing that way for years. It’s amazing the things a girl thinks of when her mouth is pressed to a man she adores. With Chris, a part of me was always stiff, pulled back and thinking far too clearly. Sometimes, when we were making out in his bedroom, I’d run through a whole list of chores I had to do when I got home, my mind elsewhere while my body lay beneath his and his hands tried to ride under my clothes. With Toby, the thoughts weren’t clear at all. They were a blur of sounds mixed with soothing pastel colours with a chirp of contentment sneaking in here and there. Happiness had no clear image. It had no single thought. It was an explosion of light, emotion, and sound. A single kiss from Toby Hunter brought me to life.

  He barely broke contact but somehow managed to stand, scoop me up into his arms and guide me over to the bedroom window. With a raise of the ledge from me, he carefully lifted me through, making sure I was safe to land when he let my feet fall to the floor. I turned around instantly, held out my hand for him and helped him through. Once inside, Toby looked all around it with wide eyes and fascination, like he couldn’t quite believe where he was standing.

  Then it hit me. In all the time we’d known one another, he’d never been in here before. His head had snuck through the ledge. He’d seen small glimpses here and there, but he’d never felt the carpet beneath his trainers, or smelt the perfumes, hairsprays, and most importantly, flowers that tainted the air in here.

  When his eyes landed on the bunch of pink, lilac, and yellow tulips in a vase on my bedside table, he smiled to himself.

  “What’s that?” I asked in the quietest whisper.

  “What?”

  “That smile.”

  “Flowers remind me of you, that’s all. Especially tulips.”

  “Yeah?”

  “Yeah.” He breathed out in one long breath, turning his body to face mine and planting his hands on my hips as he looked down at me. “But then again, everything reminds me of you. The beach. The pier. Music. Books. Pictures. Flowers are just another part of my world you seem to occupy.”

  “You shouldn’t be so good with words at your age.”

  “I’m not good with words, Lilac. I’m just good with you.”

  THIRTEEN

  Toby

  “Lilac, honey, you need to wake u—”

  My eyes flew open, and my body tensed as the door banged against the bedroom wall with a thud. I was hot, and the room I lay in was bathing in bright midday sunshine. Those were the only thoughts that registered before my memories caught up with me, and I felt Lilac jump from our embrace.

  “Oh my…” Lilac’s aunt said in a whisper.

  I scrunched my eyes together and sat up quickly, rubbing the sleep away before I turned and looked around the room. Lilac was scrambling to her feet, brushing her hair away from her face as her aunt Coral stared on with wide eyes and an open mouth, a mug of tea in her hand.

  “Aunt Coral,” Lilac stuttered, glancing back at me over her shoulder. “This isn’t what it looks like.”

  “What?” Coral cleared her throat before she turned to focus on Lilac. “I brought you some tea. I’m sorry. I didn’t realise you were… sleeping.”

  “Sleeping. We were definitely, definitely sleeping,” Lilac rushed out, stepping forward to take the mug from her aunt’s hand and set it down on the bedside table. “Toby here was just… erm…”

  “Sleeping?”

  “Yes! Right. That.” Lilac pointed.

  “Makes sense. I mean, what else would the two of you be doing in here?”

  Lilac released a nervous chuckle, shrugging her shoulders and wafting a hand around in the air. “We could have been studying, too, but we weren’t because we were sleeping. Or maybe he might be here because we were listening to music. Toby is really, really, really good.”

  Coral raised her eyebrows and stared with wide eyes. It took Lilac a minute to catch up before she pushed a hand through her hair.

  “Wait. I meant he’s good with music. At music. P-playing the music.” She began to strum an imaginary guitar in the air. “He plays the guitar, and he sends me all these songs to listen to, and… and—”

  “None of that matters, Lilac, because the two of you were just sleeping. I heard you. Nothing to worry about here.” Coral smiled coyly, glancing at me with a knowing look on her face.

  I couldn’t help it; I huffed out an amused laugh and scratched the back of my neck. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to intrude,” I offered, my voice still tainted with the most peaceful sleep I think I’d ever had.

  “You’re not intruding,” Coral said, searching my eyes in a way she’d never done before. She looked at me like she knew me. “I wasn’t expecting to see you in here, that’s all. In Lilac’s bedroom. On her bed. In the middle of the afternoon. All squished up together like that.” She wafted a hand around flippantly.

  “We weren’t. I mean…” Lilac’s hands started to do the same thing as her aunt’s, gesticulating everywhere as words failed her. “You know…”

  I pushed myself to the edge of the bed, groaning as I stood and stretched out a yawn.

  “I should go.”

  “You’re leaving?” Lilac squeaked.

  Dropping my hands to my thighs, I shuffled my shoulders into place in my twisted T-shirt. “I have to.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I have a date this afternoon with a girl I’ve been trying to date for years. I’ve got to get ready.”

  Lilac’s worry slipped from her face at once, and all her features turned from dull to sparkling in a split second as the blush rose in her cheeks, and her eyes came alive.

  “Oh my,” Coral whispered.

  “Sorry about last night,” I offered her over Lilac’s shoulder.

  “No need.” She grinned. “Everything okay now?”

  “Better than ever.”

  “Good to know.”

  “And sorry to have given you a fright just now.” I walked over to the window and shoved it up, straddling the ledge as my arm held the glass pane above me. “Thanks for the nap, Lilac. Be ready in an hour?”

  She nodded, biting down on that lip I already missed.

  With a parting wink, I slid out of her bedroom and walked the short space between her room and mine with an almighty spring in my step. The two women couldn’t even wait until I was out of earshot before they began squealing together. Coral’s enthusiasm for her niece’s happiness set a new kind of light into the world.

  It was infectious enough to travel all the way over to my gloomy house, filter through my window and keep me smiling as I pushed through into the hallway of my own home. But the happine
ss faded away the minute my bedroom door slammed behind me. I could hear more voices. Hushed but angry voices.

  Not today, I begged the universe, closing my eyes and sucking in a breath.

  When the world is trying to push against you, push back harder, I reminded myself as I opened my eyes and made my way down the hall.

  “No! You don’t get to do this to me every time you have a bad day. You made your damn choice. You made it back then, and you damn well promised me that this kind of thing wouldn’t happen,” Mum snapped, on the edge of hysteria. “Wayne, you promised me you wouldn’t play this card and make me feel guilty for everything. You swore on your life…”

  “I’m not a robot,” Dad hissed. “You can’t fucking expect the world to allow you to have bad days, but not me.”

  “Oh, here we go again, making my illness sound like a choice,” Mum growled back at him. “Do you have any idea what it’s like being me?”

  “This whole house suffers because of you showing us what it’s like being you, Darlene. Your kids suffer. Especially Tob—”

  “Do not bring him into it.”

  “Into it? He is it. He suffers more than anyone because you won’t—”

  “Hey,” I interrupted, cutting them both off as I saw them standing toe-to-toe, their faces only inches apart. They radiated aggression. If I didn’t know they were husband and wife, I’d assume they were lifelong enemies. It made me frown instantly. “What’s going on?”

  “Toby,” Mum said with reverence the second she saw me, pulling back and tugging the edges of her dressing gown tighter over her chest. “Thank goodness you’re safe.”

  “I’m safe.”

  “We had no idea when you’d be back. You caught us by surprise.”

  I glanced between them both. “I thought I’d take some time for myself after they released me from the station.”

  “Right. Right. Everything okay, though?”

  “Just a caution,” I told them quietly, watching the way Dad fought to bite his tongue.

  “We were panicked. So panicked.” Mum’s voice broke as she spoke.

  Dad rolled his eyes and stepped away, turning his back to me and planting his hands on the edge of the kitchen counters, his head sinking between his shoulders.

  “Well, now I’m back, so I’ll ask you again… what’s going on here?”

  “Who the hell knows?” Dad muttered.

  “Nothing, baby.” Mum stepped closer, and I could see the unshed tears in her eyes as she reached out for me and held my cheeks in her hands. She was always studying my face. Every inch of it. I was her anchor. Her safety net. She’d spent my whole life telling me so. “Mum’s just having a bad day.”

  “How bad?” I frowned harder, glancing over her shoulder to catch Dad huffing out a sarcastic laugh.

  “You know what I get like,” she whispered.

  “And I know how we should all be supporting you.”

  Another huff of laughter from my father and a sharp shake of his head.

  “Sometimes I need reminding that the world doesn’t revolve around me, Toby. Sometimes I need to stop feeling so sorry for myself, and that’s a good thing. I’m never going to get out of the darkness if people don’t remind me what’s out there in the light.”

  I glanced between the two of them, trying my hardest to ignore the twist of my gut as I gave her a nod and remained silent.

  “Do you have plans for the day?”

  “I do.” I thought I’d said it without showing any emotion, but the second I spoke, Mum’s eyes searched mine, and a small, sad smile crept into place.

  “Oh…” She pressed her lips together and ran her thumbs over the apples of my cheeks. “Lilac?”

  “How did you know?”

  “I’m your mother. I know everything you don’t say.”

  “I hope like hell you don’t.”

  “Language.”

  “Where are Charlie and Harry?”

  “They’re with Grandpa Hunter for the afternoon. He’s taken them fishing.”

  He never takes me, I thought but kept that particular pouty moment to myself. Grandpa Hunter was my dad’s father, and he had no idea how to speak to a child once they got over the age of twelve and could answer back.

  “Okay. I’ll get out of here then.”

  I glanced at Dad one last time to see he hadn’t moved an inch. I could have spent a while arguing with them, trying to figure out what had happened, which they were obviously keeping from me, but I wanted to be selfish for once. A beautiful girl like no other girl in the world was waiting across the garden for me. The doom and gloom of reality could wait. It would still be there in the morning. It always was.

  Taking one last breath to straighten out the collar on my black polo shirt, I knocked on the door with my free hand, keeping the other behind my back as I waited for someone to answer. Within seconds I heard footsteps approaching, and with the turn of a key and the pull of a door, there was Violet Clarke in all her glory, standing before me looking just as surprised as her sister Coral had an hour before.

  “Toby?”

  “That okay?” I asked, raising my brows.

  “I’m torn between telling you that you took your time and asking you if you’re sure about all this.”

  “I did take my time, and I swear I’ve never been surer of anything in my whole life.”

  “No more fighting,” she said as sternly as she could manage, pointing a finger in my direction.

  “Scout’s honour.”

  “You’ve never been to scouts, have you?”

  “No, but I hear those guys have a lot of honour.”

  Violet rolled her eyes before she waved her hand to the side and gestured for me to enter.

  “Do you mind if I stay out here?”

  “Why?”

  I shrugged a shoulder. “Kinda feels like the right thing to do on a first date—to wait for a girl on her doorstep and watch her as she walks towards you.”

  “Oh, you’re good.” She gave me a small raise of her brows before she winked and walked away. “Lilac. You have a visitor.”

  I heard the squealing again then, both Lilac and Coral struggling to stay calm. Their hushed excitement was carried to me down the hall before Lilac was shoved out of one door, gliding to a halt at the end of the hallway. There she stood still and looked at me.

  Goddamn it, she was stunning.

  More beautiful than I’d ever seen her.

  The happiness she wore in her smile made her look even more radiant than before. Her hair was half up, half down, with soft curls resting on the shoulders of her embroidered, white flowing dress that fell just below her knees.

  “Wow,” I mouthed as I took her in, eyes searching from her sandal-covered feet, all the way up her tanned, smooth legs, up to the cinched curve of her waist, skimming over the breasts that had slept against me, before landing on those bright, poppy red lips of hers. “Wow.”

  She gave a swish of her skirt before she leapt forward and charged down the hall, throwing her arms around me and knocking me backwards.

  I stumbled, struggling to catch her with my one free arm as her lips crashed against mine like we’d been in love for a thousand years and I’d been away for nine-hundred and ninety-nine of them.

  “You’ve been gone too long,” she mumbled against my lips.

  “Mother and Aunt right here,” Violet said behind us.

  “Are you trying to get me killed?” I whispered to Lilac as she slid down my body and landed on her feet.

  “They don’t know how to hurt living things,” Lilac assured me.

  “Let’s not test that theory, shall we?”

  “Don’t be dramatic, Toby.”

  “I wanted to do things right, including impressing your family.”

  “And I wanted to do things without restriction. So, shut up and kiss me without looking over my shoulder at those two witches.”

  “Hey!” Coral cried.

  “She has a point,” Violet muttered. “
Let’s leave them to it.”

  With that, the door was closed, and I curled my arm tighter around Lilac.

  “You’re going to be the death of me, I just know it.”

  “If we die, we’ll die together. But we’ll be happy and full of kisses, like seventeen-year-olds should be.”

  “I’ll kiss to that.” I looked down at her bright red lips and scowled. “Wait. Does that stuff come off? Do I look like a vampire at an all you can eat buffet?”

  Lilac shook her head and laughed, bringing a finger up to her lips and rubbing hard against it before she turned it around to show me the pad of her finger. “It doesn’t come off. It’s special stuff my Aunt Coral let me borrow.”

  “It’s like they’re giving me the green light to seduce you in all the roughest of ways today.”

  “You know what, Toby? I think they kind of are.”

  FOURTEEN

  Lilac

  It was the most romantic afternoon of my life. My cheeks ached the second I had him in my arms. Toby Hunter had always been fascinating to me, even from the very first time I saw him in school, wearing his too-big glasses as he dumped his backpack next to me. I remember the way I used to catch him peeking from behind his bedroom curtains, and how I’d quickly turn away or duck my head so he didn’t know I’d seen him. Even as a child, a notion of safety surrounded me whenever I knew he was around. Watching. Protecting. Admiring.

  I’d always hoped he’d admired me.

  Now I knew. The way he held my hand all the way around Southwold, showing me off proudly to the world, despite the fact that we should probably still have been in hiding because of my relationship with Chris only just ending. None of that seemed to bother Toby, though. He was showing me sides of him I’d never seen before. His laughter lit up my whole world. His blue eyes were so pure and alive whenever he stared into mine; it was hypnotising. When he was carefree and having fun, he lost that edge of anxiety that always seemed to float above his muscular shoulders.

  With the weather warm enough, we took an afternoon stroll along the beach, barefoot and worry-free. Toby’s fingers were entwined with mine the entire time, and even though there was so much natural beauty all around, he only ever seemed to focus on me.