A Girl Like Lilac

by Victoria L. James

  He was the only man I’d ever trust to know what I needed before I knew it myself. He scooped me up in his arms, never taking his lips away from mine, and Toby carried me into the beach hut, kicking the door closed behind him. All the nerves I’d felt when talking to Cheryl had disappeared, and the butterflies in my stomach had begun to float into a state of calm as if Toby had already stroked them to sleep with his fingers before he was about to awaken them with his thrusts.

  Using as much tenderness as he could, he laid me down on the pull-out sofa that was already set up to look like a bed, and he leaned over me, pushing the hair back from my face with both hands while I gripped his arms with both hands, not wanting to let go.

  The two of us took a few quiet moments to just… be.

  To breathe. To live for this exact second right here.

  “I’ve missed you isn’t enough,” he whispered down at me.

  “We have to start somewhere. The poetry can wait.”

  “I don’t want to wait for anything ever again.”

  “Me either,” I whispered.

  “She danced along the lines of my dreams, plucking sweet love notes and major strings.”

  I raised both brows and smiled in surprise. “Alistair Stone? I’m impressed.”

  “You had me intrigued from the moment you sent me that first letter.” Toby grinned in return. “I had a lot of time to study.”

  “Too much time.” I reached up and ran a thumb over his forehead, seeing the lines of worry that hadn’t been there before. “But it sounds like you used that time wisely.” My hand dropped down to his bicep again, squeezing as much of it as I could, unable to deny the way heat pooled between my legs and my chest rose and fell. “It looks like you did, too. You’re so strong now. You’re brand new.”

  Toby held my face in both hands and pulled my attention back up to his eyes. He may have been wearing his glasses, but there wasn’t a single part of him that was hiding. Not from me. I saw everything he wanted to say in those eyes I’d longed to stare into. I saw the years we’d missed. The years we could have had. The things we hadn’t said and the things we would no doubt kiss to each other in the weeks and months to come. But for now, he was back, and all the apologies we had to make to one another could wait.

  “I’m the same as I’ve always been, Lilac. I’m yours.”

  “Then you should kiss me with the weight of your pounding chest. Drown your heart. Inhale my caress.”

  His smile exploded. He knew the poem well, and there was nothing more to say.

  He’d missed me. I needed him.

  Our lovemaking was tender that night, a slow-burning reunion that lasted for hours. Like a slow intro to a beautiful song that was about to change the world, we made music together, and as he drifted to sleep with his head on my naked chest, I stared up at the sky through the crack in the curtains, and I thanked the universe. I thanked my parents and Aunt Coral for being a tower of strength. I thanked Wayne for staying by Darlene’s side and loving her when she was wild. I thanked Cheryl and Duke. I thanked Joel, Chris, and Marty for every bad thing they’d ever done to make me wake up and fight. I thanked Toby for loving me enough to save me from harm. I thanked him for going to war, seeing things he’d never want to talk about, and most importantly, for returning home to where he now was, laying on top of me, holding me tight.

  I thanked them all.

  Then I let the tears fall down my face as I thanked myself for not giving in, for waiting for him so we could live together, and for being stronger than I’d ever been in my life.

  There was no way I was going to sleep.

  The world was filled with too much magic to miss it.

  I intended to enjoy every second and breath of it.

  Epilogue

  Toby

  FOUR YEARS LATER

  “Are you still not ready?” I called down the corridor.

  “Am I out there yet?”

  I glanced around from side to side, scowling. “Erm, no.”

  “Then I’m obviously not ready.”

  My head fell back between my shoulders, and I looked up at the ceiling of our home, making a silent countdown from ten to one in my mind. I think I reached four before I felt her warm palms pressing against my chest, forcing me to look down again.

  “What number did you reach?” she asked innocently, batting her eyes.

  “Minus seventy-two.”

  “Liar. No need to go all anger-management on me every time I’m a little bit delayed.” Lilac beamed, rising on her tiptoes to gift me with one of her sugary-lipped kisses. “I was sneaking in a doughnut snack. You can’t deny a pregnant woman that, can you?”

  I glanced down at her barely-there belly and shook my head. “You’re sixteen weeks pregnant with our second child. This isn’t your first rodeo. Stop using the poor unborn baby as an excuse to eat that crap.”

  “Uch. That’s what I think of you, Toby Hunter, with your personal-trainer, bulging biceps and healthy eating hoo-hah.”

  “The bulging biceps and healthy eating that now pays our bills and funds your expensive Krispy Kreme addiction.” I pressed a kiss to her nose, bent my knees and wrapped my arms around her waist. “Which, by the way, makes you smell and taste even sweeter than you look.”

  “Then one shouldn’t be complaining about one’s wife all the time, should one?” she said, wrapping her arms around my neck and leaning back.

  “One should most definitely not complain about one’s wife.”

  “Glad one agrees.”

  “Give me another one of those kisses.” I leaned in farther, but she pulled back until her whole weight was resting in my arms. Even when pregnant, she was as light as a feather. It always amazed me how someone as strong as stone felt like she could float on air.

  “I thought you were in a rush to go…” She smirked, like the intelligent, manipulative pixie she was.

  “I’m only in a rush to go one place with you right now.”

  I started walking her backwards, enjoying the sound of her giggles in my ear. I enjoyed everything about her these days. Every single little thing. Even the things that annoyed me, like the way she refused to clean her old, tattered white pumps, or the way she would make a complete mess of the house when she had a photo shoot to prepare for, leaving bags, lenses, papers, and mood boards all over the place for us to tiptoe around. Her photography business was soaring. From weddings to newborn babies, to magazine shoots and book covers, there was no doubt she was conquering the world with her visions, but she sure as shit was messy. I loved that she could annoy me. It would always beat wishing she was there while staring at the four walls of a cell, miles and miles away.

  “We’re going to be late,” she chuckled, holding on to me tight as I hoisted her up and wrapped her legs around my waist.

  “Sue me.”

  “Your bank account wouldn’t be happy if I did that.”

  “No, but my dick would be.” I grinned up at her devilishly.

  “Toby Hunter!”

  “Yes, Lilac Hunter?”

  Her legs clenched around me, her sex pushing against my waist suddenly. “You know saying my married name makes me horny. Damn you.”

  “What about if I promise to rub a doughnut all over you and lick it off every little inch of your body, Mrs Hunter?”

  Her head fell back, her long, soft hair falling over my hands as I walked us back to our bedroom. “I think I’m going to orgas—”

  “Daddy, Mummy, Daddy, Mummy, Daaaaaaaaaddy!”

  I stopped in my tracks, closed my eyes and squeezed her arse with my fingers in protest.

  “Uh-oh. Looks like we have an intruder,” Lilac said through a huff of laughter.

  My mouth moved, only silent words falling free.

  “Five, four, three…” Lilac whispered. “You can’t count backwards every time you’re a little inconvenienced, you know.”

  Opening my eyes, I looked at her and ground my teeth together. “This beast in my trousers is not little
.”

  She bounced in my grip, taunting me. “Don’t I know it.” Lilac bit down on her bottom lip, pressed her forehead to mine and ran her nose against my cheek. “To be continued.”

  “Daddy, Mummy, Daddy, Mummy, Daddy, Mummy…”

  Hopping down from my arms, Lilac spun around and bent down to catch our little girl in her arms. My red-haired daughter with her sparkling blue eyes and freckle-faced beauty.

  “What’s got you so excited, Ruby?”

  Of course, we named her after a colour, just like all the strong women in Lilac’s family history. She was a part of their rainbow now, and every time I saw the two of them together, I felt like they were taking me high into the sky.

  Ruby looked up at me, her eyes bright and expectant. “Daddy? Can I see you mattoo again?”

  “Do you mean my tattoo, baby?” I asked, bending down to her eye level.

  Ruby’s hand reached out and pointed to my chest. “Mattoo, mattoo, mattoo.”

  “I mean, I’m not complaining that she wants you to flash your pecs, either, husband.” Lilac grinned.

  Rolling my eyes, I undid the first few buttons of my shirt and carefully peeled back the material to show them the tattoo I’d gotten in prison. You could get anything in prison. You just had to have the right contacts, the credits, and a good reputation for keeping your mouth shut about everything illegal going on in there. I had all of the above.

  “What does it mean?” Ruby asked, her nose wrinkled and eyes scrunched.

  “You know what it means, sweetheart.” Lilac rubbed Ruby’s little tummy. “Remember? Daddy told you.”

  “Tell me again.”

  She was too cute, and I was too smitten to resist giving her what she demanded.

  “She danced along the lines of my dreams, plucking sweet love notes and major strings.” I ran my hand over the words and looked into Ruby’s eyes. “It means I loved your mummy very much, even when we weren’t together. I thought about her all the time.”

  “Like the prince thinks about his princess all the time?”

  “Just like that,” Lilac whispered in Ruby’s ear. “Isn’t Mummy the luckiest?”

  “So lucky, Mummy. Did Daddy kill a dragon for you?”

  Lilac’s eyes drifted to mine. “Dragons, cruel kings, a few demons.”

  “How long did it take him to get to you?”

  “Too long.” She smiled.

  “Far too long,” I agreed.

  “One day, a prince will do that for me, too, and I can’t wait because I’m going to be the luckiest, luckiest, luckiest, and my hair will be longer than a train and he will climb it, and then he will kiss me. Like this. MWAH.”

  I scoffed and raised a brow. “Pssh. He’ll have to get past Daddy first.”

  Ruby rolled her innocent little eyes. “Whatever, Daddy.”

  “Don’t have your daddy counting backwards again, Ruby. You know he’s the only boy allowed to kiss you.”

  “What about Grandad and Pops?”

  “Those, too.”

  “Uncle Charlie and Uncle Harry?”

  “Okay, them as well.”

  “Uncle Duke?

  “Fine. Uncle Duke can kiss you on the cheek.”

  “So that’s…” Ruby stopped to count her male bodyguards on her hand. “How many is it, Mummy?”

  “Enough to keep you safe forever and ever and ever, princess.”

  I chuckled and fastened up my shirt. “Now that’s done, please tell me you’re ready to leave because your mummy is driving me crazy over here with all her doughnut eating instead of packing and leaving.”

  “Doughnuts?” Ruby gasped, her eyes practically popping from her head.

  “They’ve all gone.” Lilac pouted. “But I bet if you grab your little overnight bag quickly, Grandma and Grandad, and Nana and Pops will have some special treats waiting for you when we get to their houses.”

  “Ooo,” Ruby cooed, her eyes wide only for a moment before she frowned. “How long will you and Daddy be gone for?”

  “Just a few days, sweetie.” Lilac ran her hands down Ruby’s bare little arms with a tenderness of the most loving mother in the world. “Will you miss us?”

  Ruby thought about it for a second before she shrugged a shoulder and replied with an unenthusiastic “Meh.” Then she ran off to grab her bag, shouting at the top of her lungs how she couldn’t wait to spend time with her four grandparents. The ones who lived just across the road. The ones she saw every… single… day.

  I stood up, holding my hands out for Lilac to take before I pulled her up to join me. “Did you just lie to your daughter?”

  “What?”

  “You told her all the doughnuts had gone. I bought you a dozen.”

  Lilac scanned over my shoulder quickly, slapping me on the shoulder. “Shh, I don’t want her to know.”

  “You horrible mother.”

  The faint hint of her laughter made my skin tingle, and it wasn’t long before she was wrapping her arms around my neck again.

  “Can I tell you something?” I asked her.

  “Mmhm.” She bit down on her lip, and I leaned down to brush my nose against hers.

  “I hate the way you tell the story of us being apart.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “You always say I saved you.”

  “And that’s wrong…?”

  I nodded, my eyes searching the depths of hers. “You always forget to mention how you saved me, too.”

  We’d waved Ruby off, leaving her in joint custody of all four of our parents.

  Lilac climbed into the driver’s seat of our Audi A4, something she rarely volunteered to do. I froze by the passenger door, frowned at her, and then climbed in cautiously, side-eyeing her the entire time. She had a look of mischief on her face; one I knew all too well.

  “What are you up to?”

  “Me?” She reached for her sunglasses and slipped them on before she shuffled to get comfortable in her seat and turned the key in the ignition. “Nothing. Nothing at all.”

  “Your megawatt grin says otherwise.”

  With a shrug, she pulled out of our driveway on Crooked Mount and looked in both directions at the end of the road.

  “Put your seatbelt on,” she demanded quietly.

  I did as I was told, not taking my eyes off her. Not just because I was suspicious, but because it was hard to believe where we were in life now. She was my wife. I’d married her the first chance I got, despite the locals saying we were too young or accusing us of doing it because Lilac was pregnant. She wasn’t. Not when we married in a quiet ceremony at the parish church just down the road, anyway. It wasn’t long after when little Ruby made an unexpected appearance, though. What can I say? We had a lot of years to make up for. We didn’t do much when I got out, apart from rediscovering each other—in mind, body, and soul. I was on parole, which meant I couldn’t leave the country for a long time. It didn’t matter. I was just grateful to be out, holding my girl, feeling the sea breeze on my face, and rejoicing in the pounding of my heart whenever Lilac touched me.

  There’s a pleasure to being alive few of us notice, no matter how long we live.

  We’re so caught up in the rights and wrongs, dos and don’ts, dramas, lies, and competitions that we forget to feel the rush of blood in our veins. We forget to push our bodies and appreciate the machines they can become. We never stop to notice just how beautiful fucking breathing is.

  Prison had given me that gift. The gift to stop, take pause, reflect, and be thankful. Now every single day was like waking up on Christmas morning. I felt that elation because I was free, but more importantly, because she was with me.

  I reached over, placing my hand on her bare thigh. She was in denim shorts that had cute red love hearts sewn into them, with a floaty white T-shirt covering her little bump—the bump that protected our next child. Our next miracle.

  Lilac glanced at me and caught my eye, and her smile erupted instantly.

  “I love you,” I
told her like it was the very first time.

  “Tell me something I don’t know.”

  “Is that a challenge?”

  “I’m not scared.” She raised a brow and glanced back at the road before she looked at me again.

  “Marty Atkins visited me in prison.”

  The swerve of the car had my whole life flashing before my eyes before Lilac corrected herself and sat bolt upright, her eyes wide and her mouth even wider.

  “What the hell, Toby?” she cried.

  “Sweet Jesus, Lilac. You nearly ran us off the road.”

  “Well… you… I can’t believe you just…” She verbally stomped her foot with a grunt of frustration before she put her indicator on and pulled over on the side of the road. When the engine was off, she pushed her hair away from her face and turned in her seat. “You cannot tell a pregnant woman that while she’s driving!”

  I blinked. Several times, actually, staring at her rosy red cheeks and flaming eyes in wonder.

  “Count backwards, Lil.”

  “Fuck you and your counting backwards. I’d need to get to a thousand and two, and quite frankly, I’ve made plans, and we have somewhere to be, and, and, and…”

  I unfastened my seatbelt swiftly, and I slid over my seat, gripping her cheeks and pulling her closer to me.

  “I’m sorry,” I said with a smile I was really trying to contain. But, dammit, Lilac was adorable when she was fierce, and she’d grown a whole new level of fierce since being that intimidated teenage girl who had had her first glimpse of a reality outside of all the fairy tales. “I didn’t mean to do that to you.”

  Her cheeks squished together, and her mouth puckered as she looked at me with wide-open eyes. “You never talk about prison.”

  “That’s ‘cause it sucked.”

  “Like, ever. Never ever.” She scrunched her eyes together. “That’s twice today you’ve referenced it. Twice.”

  “Open your eyes, Lil.” Of course, she did. She’d take her heart out of her chest and hand it to me on a plate if I asked her nicely enough, her love for me limitless. “I’m sorry,” I offered again.