Into the Darkness

by Robin Bowles

  Ms Walker said that she couldn’t say whether Phoebe had minimised her intake or not.

  Galbally then asked if a heavy drinker might blow out of all proportion a comment like ‘you shouldn’t be drinking.’

  Her reply was very quiet, but my interpretation was that she said ‘Yes.’

  Galbally then asked Ms Walker several questions about Stilnox, none of which she had many answers for. She said, ‘Until she told me in August that she was taking sleeping pills, I had no knowledge of her abusing prescription medication.’

  He then turned to the phone call on 30 November. ‘She told you she didn’t want to continue struggling with life?’

  Ms Walker said it wasn’t the first time Phoebe had said that kind of thing. ‘She’d said in the past, “What’s the point in going on?”’

  ‘And even although you didn’t see the necessity to call the CAT squad, after that half-hour conversation, you thought she was suicidal?’

  ‘I was concerned that she was, yes.’

  I wrote in my notes, why didn’t she do something about it? She might have changed the whole situation if she’d got help for Phoebe.

  Ms Siemensma had a few more questions. She said, ‘Another witness has suggested that Phoebe may have been feeling so bad about herself that she may have put herself down the garbage bin — as some sort of symbolic gesture. Is it possible that somebody with this combination of depression and elements of borderline personality disorder, may develop such a loathing of themselves that they may do some dramatic act of self-harm like that?’

  ‘Somebody with a full-blown borderline personality disorder might certainly engage in a dramatic act. But I don’t believe that Phoebe had a full-blown personality disorder.’

  Ms Siemensma then asked, ‘If you have a client with chronic depression and is self-harming, do you undertake a risk assessment?

  ‘Yes, I do usually,’ she replied. ‘Probably.’

  ‘Probably. When Phoebe came to see you, did you do a suicide risk assessment?’

  ‘I don’t believe I did, no.’

  The Coroner asked if she’d ever done such a plan. She said no.

  Ms Siemensma gave Ms Walker a discussion paper from the Australian Psychological Society’s website dealing with what it said were three core elements in therapy for clients who might be suicidal. The third element was ‘planning for safely at times of high risk’, where it spoke of ‘establishing a mutually agreed plan about emergency contacts and backup, which may include arrangements with family members, an understanding about the extent and limit to therapist availability, a pre-arranged plan with other agency staff or members, or with a local crisis intervention service’.

  Ms Siemensma went on, ‘Now, I suggest that’s a very good idea if you had a pre-arranged plan at the outset, before there was a crisis, so the patient or the client had options?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘Do you do that these days?’

  ‘If I believe that they are suicidal, then, yes.’

  ‘Would you do it if they might develop suicidal tendencies, based on their sessions with you? Say if they’re depressed or they’re self-harming?’

  ‘It’s hard to predict if a person is going to become suicidal.’

  ‘And if you have somebody who is presenting with chronic depression and they’re self-harming, wouldn’t it be a good idea to establish a plan, in case there was a crisis at some time in the future?’

  ‘Yes, you’re probably right.’

  ‘And with a patient who shows suicidal ideation and/or presents as being actively suicidal, isn’t it a good idea to follow them up afterwards? Do you do that now?’

  A very quiet ‘Yes’ from Ms Walker.

  ‘Turning to some of your answers to Mr Galbally, you said that Phoebe often talked about her relationship, and you viewed the relationship as volatile.’

  ‘That was her word.’

  ‘Mr Galbally asked if people presenting with depression may have a supportive partner, and they’re just misreading the signals. And you responded, “It’s possible, it’s possible.” Can you say based on your consultations, and discussions about a volatile relationship, whether you thought that Phoebe was misreading the signals?’

  ‘It’s hard to say. I don’t think she was, because she often talked about this, describing rows and arguments and how undermined she felt.’

  ‘In regard to Phoebe’s comments about what’s the point in going on and the struggle with life, hadn’t she used these words in the past and you hadn’t regarded that as a sign that she was actively suicidal?’

  ‘I think that she may have used words similar to that before. And no, I didn’t think that she was actively suicidal in the past.’

  The Coroner asked if she’d thought of referring Phoebe to her father, or at least contacting him herself, given that he was a practising psychiatrist. She said that she didn’t think that would have been appropriate, given the content of her consultations with Phoebe.

  The Coroner was about to excuse her when Ms Siemensma advised him that Dr Handsjuk would like to ask a few questions.

  Natalie had told me that Len was seething at the treatment his daughter had received (or hadn’t received) from her psychologist.

  Len Handsjuk disguised his anger with a friendly, casual greeting. ‘Hi, Ms Walker, I’m Len Handsjuk, I’m Phoebe’s father. I don’t know if you know, I’ve been in clinical practice for over 40 years?’

  ‘I knew you were a psychiatrist, that’s all.’

  ‘Just looking at the notes of 30 November, I’d just like to check that I’m reading them correctly. “Ant and her out to dinner with friends. She had four small glasses of wine; he got up when she spoke to the party. She spoke about it afterwards with him, but it escalated.” Can you expand on the escalation?’

  ‘It’s over three years ago and I can’t remember exactly. I think I meant it escalated into an argument.’

  ‘Was there a pattern of relationship difficulties? You say, “She went out and stayed at mum’s place. Feels unsafe, drinking, teary, can’t call the family.” Isn’t it inconsistent if she can’t call the family, that she would go and stay at her mum’s place, which is full of family?’

  ‘That’s how she felt at that time. I think I made a note somewhere, or perhaps it’s from my memory — that she said something like she didn’t want her family to see her like this. I can’t actually remember if I wrote that down.’

  ‘After “he always accuses”, there are doodles in your notes which indicates the discussion may have continued?’

  ‘That was a theme in our discussions around the relationship, that she felt he accused her unfairly of drinking too much and erratic behaviour.’

  ‘I’m falling back into my own psychoanalytic training to ask you this next question really. But to me you seem sure in your own mind, at least while on the phone, that she was a suicidal risk. But your actions afterwards didn’t seem to give it the weight that you describe?’

  ‘No, and I struggle to explain that,’ she replied. Although she did feel that Phoebe was a risk, she said she may have thought the risk ‘was not that high and that imminent’. She acknowledged that her lack of experience at that time may have caused her to give Phoebe the suicide-line option, rather than calling in a crisis team to visit her.

  Len said she was being inconsistent, because in her report she’d said that Phoebe wasn’t capable of actuating self-care. He said he was having difficulty understanding what had happened. He launched into a description of how the phenomenon of transference works, where what the patient is telling the therapist now is actually a metaphor for what the patient feels about their history and their relationship to the therapist. He said this was a basic of psychodynamic insight and ended by asking, ‘Do you see it that way? Because you said you have insight?’

  I felt Len was really trying to s
how Ms Walker up in this exchange. She didn’t seem to know how to answer. Eventually she said she did have insight.

  ‘So you understand what I’m talking about?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘I’m concerned that although you were sure in your own mind at a conscious level, your behaviour was different to that.’ He wondered whether she was actually quite reassured that Phoebe wasn’t suicidal. ‘You’re speaking of a terrible set of symptoms really when you look at it on the surface — and think, this woman needs to be certified and locked up …?’

  Ms Walker protested. ‘I would not go that far.’

  ‘I would, that’s what I would do, because …’ Len’s voice was becoming angry.

  We didn’t hear why. Detecting Len’s anger, the Coroner interrupted, asking him if there was anything else he wanted to raise.

  ‘Just one more thing. For Phoebe to continue with the struggle which was her life, do you think that had to be a life-and-death issue? Or maybe the broader picture of life, of relationships, or work — really a need for a change rather than to kill yourself?’

  ‘It could be in relation to a broader issue, yes.’

  ‘That’s all, thank you.’

  Len strode out of the court and then Ms Walker made her escape. The Coroner told her she could obtain the transcript of her evidence and make an additional submission in relation to evidence that specifically related to herself.

  That would give her something to think about.

  CHAPTER 16

  PHOEBE’S FRIENDS

  As part of the attempt to build a picture of the prelude to Phoebe’s death, several of her friends were called to give evidence that day. Brendan Hession, known to his mates as Bren, was first.

  He confirmed he’d known Phoebe for eight years and had met her through her then boyfriend, who’d been playing in the same band. He said she wrote a lot, using anything that came to hand — like a paper napkin, for example. She’d write about herself, friends, relationships, and sometimes ‘she would be a bit more abstract. You know, falling water from waterfalls and things like that.’

  He told Ms Siemensma that she never discussed suicide with him. ‘We would discuss things about relationships, about dreams, about some very personal things. But never clear discussions on depression.’ Since Phoebe had been with Ant, they hadn’t seen each other much. He’d only seen her twice in the 18 months before she died, though they stayed in contact by email and text.

  ‘We caught up again a couple of days before she died. But still no discussion about depression.’ He said that even though Phoebe often turned to him when she was down, she’d always be ‘upbeat’ when they met.

  They’d first met for coffee on 25 November, and he could tell there was something wrong. She seemed ‘a little strange’. He said, ‘There seemed like there was an undertone. She wasn’t happy, she’d broken up [with Ant], she’d gone back to her mum’s. I was quite surprised, as she wouldn’t usually come to me out straight with a problem like that.’

  On 26 November he phoned to see if she was OK, and she replied by text saying she was at her mum’s drunk and probably not good company.

  Ms Siemensma was puzzled, because that was the day when Phoebe had lunch with Linda, who’d said she was in good spirits. There was some to-ing and fro-ing between Ms Siemensma, Bren, and the Coroner about the need to locate the phone that had received the message and find out when it was sent.

  Then, on 29 November, Phoebe had rung him from Ant’s apartment, so he assumed they’d patched things up. But he thought she might need someone to talk to, so they made arrangements to meet later that night.

  He explained, ‘Over the years I’ve been a neutral friend. She’d been in two relationships with people close to me, and she felt she could confide in me. It just sounded like she wanted to catch up. It was a Monday night at 10.30, not a time I’d usually go out for a drink. But she needed someone, so yep.’

  He said that when he arrived at the European Bier Café, he could tell she’d had a couple of drinks.

  Ms Siemensma asked how he could tell. Bren replied, ‘Ah, it could only take two glasses and Phoebe would be a little bit … you could tell she’d had a couple of glasses.’ He hastened to add that she wasn’t ‘legless’.

  They were only together for about half an hour, as he had an early start the next day. ‘During that time her phone rang at least six times, maybe ten times. It was quite interruptive of us trying to, you know, have any discussions. She said, “Sorry, it’s Antony” and seemed a bit upset. At one stage she walked away from the table to actually answer the phone. It sounded like a brief argument.’ In the course of it, she raised her voice, but he didn’t hear what she said.

  Bren gave the impression that it was rather a frustrating meeting. He was there to make sure that Phoebe was all right, but she seemed to be diverting discussion away from herself and encouraging Bren to talk about himself.

  He said they talked a little about Phoebe going to Mallacoota ‘as I guess she’d want to get away from any problems that came up, and it was a safe place for her to go’.

  They didn’t talk about her relationship, but after the phone argument, Bren advised her to go home and sort things out with Ant. Her response wasn’t positive. She wanted to stay out.

  After they’d left the café, he told the court, Phoebe was so fed up that she pulled her phone out of her pocket and threw it across the street. He didn’t know which phone she’d thrown, just that it was the one that was receiving all the calls. ‘She kept on pulling this phone out and then she threw it.’

  Ms Siemensma asked, ‘Was she throwing it because she’d drunk too much, or was she angry? What was your impression?’

  ‘Not at all from being drunk. She was on the verge of being angry.’ He was saying, ‘Well, I’m going home’, or ‘You should go home’, but she said she wanted to go out. Then the phone rang again, and she took it from her pocket and threw it across the street. He retrieved it for her, then watched her skip away.

  ‘She didn’t seem upset, but she was definitely intent on not going back to Ant’s. Even before the facts came out about what happened afterwards, I felt horrible about leaving her, but I had an early start the next day. I couldn’t go out. It was midnight.’

  He was asked how it might be that Phoebe’s mood had changed so much from his farewelling her at about midnight to her arrival at 12.45 a.m. at Russell Marriot’s front door. He couldn’t say. He said she didn’t seem drunk or psychotic; she’d just had a few drinks.

  Ms Siemensma said that Phoebe’s phone records showed that she’d called a number of people after leaving Bren. ‘She calls you, Antony, Russell Marriott, she calls her mum Natalie, virtually every minute from about 12.22 right through to 1.07 a.m. Can you explain why she was calling so many people?’

  ‘Only that she was getting constant phone calls from Ant and maybe she was looking for someone to go out with. But if she’s calling her mum, probably not.’

  He didn’t remember the calls to his number after they’d left each other, but he thought it likely Phoebe was still trying to convince him to go out.

  He was asked about her telling Russell that Bren was waiting for her on the corner near the Clifton Hill house, but he said he definitely wasn’t. He was home in bed, most likely with the phone turned off. He thought her claim could have been a fabrication.

  Ms Siemensma asked him about a phone number found on a piece of paper in the pocket of the jeans Phoebe was wearing when she died.

  He told the court he’d received a voice message from Phoebe’s phone on 30 November, the day after they’d been out together. It was sent at 2.41 p.m., but he didn’t receive it until after 6 p.m.

  The message caused him a little concern, as Phoebe had spoken of ‘leaving this world’, and he’d never heard her use that phrase before. But she also spoke about ‘running away’ and he interpreted
that to mean running off to Mallacoota and leaving Ant’s ‘world’, a world she’d been uncomfortable with for some time.

  On Tuesday evening, Bren received a text from Ant using Phoebe’s iPhone, saying, ‘Phoebe’s family, employer and I are all worried about her. If you know where she is, please have her call.’ Bren thought it was ‘a bit weird’ that Ant was sending the text on Phoebe’s phone, and he’d never met Ant, so he ignored it. There was a second call from the apartment landline to Bren’s number at 9.57 p.m., but again he didn’t answer.

  A question from Ms Siemensma about whether Phoebe had mentioned her brother’s coming birthday party elicited a revealing exchange. Bren said, ‘I didn’t see any of that really. As I said, she was, ah, pretty insistent on … on asking me how my life was.’

  The Coroner broke in to ask, ‘Are you saying that you had a sense that she wanted to ask about what was happening in your life, but wanted to avoid talking about what was happening in hers?’

  Bren replied, ‘Yes, quite possibly, Your Honour.’

  Ms Siemensma said that when Bren had first spoken to the police, he’d emphasised Phoebe’s often unpredictable love of climbing things. She was agile and adventurous, he said. He’d seen her climbing fire escapes and fences and buildings, but sometimes ‘her ability may not have matched her will to climb things.’ He’d once shown her an abandoned building he wanted to photograph, and she insisted on climbing the fence, only to fall and break her arm.

  Bren told Mr Moglia that the reason he’d mentioned Phoebe’s love of climbing to the police was that he was trying to understand what had happened. ‘When I first heard of Phoebe’s death, I thought she might have drowned, whatever, I don’t know, and I think there was a suggestion that it may have been suicide. So when I heard she was found at the bottom of a 12-floor building, I thought it could have been a slip or a fall, rather than suicide.’

  Bren said suicide didn’t occur to him at first, as she’d been talking about going to India and suggesting that they both run away. ‘Her death was a surprise, absolutely, because she had so much life about her. She might have been depressed at times, but on the other side she had so much vigour and life about her.’