One Better

by Rosalyn McMillan

  Like tiny triumphs of spring, wildflowers had sprung up along the freeway and in vacant fields near her home. But what she really loved, what made her feel especially lonely for love, were the wild lilac bushes that grew near her home. As she drove by, she inhaled their sweet perfume.

  She had four days until she had to return to work. She was never good with idle time, but she tried to focus on being with Azure and redecorating her house. She was trying her best to keep her thoughts away from Dwight.

  To her surprise, Harrison called. He was free, he said; his wife was visiting her mother for the weekend. And when Mink suggested they take a ride in her plane the following morning, he agreed.

  Made of luscious peach tones, the sweatsuit she wore fit snugly around her sultry hips. Harrison wore navy twill Dockers, a white cotton pullover, and blindingly white K-Swiss gym shoes. Mink had to tear her eyes away from him. She loved the way his white pullover highlighted his immaculate gray sideburns and his smooth, golden brown skin.

  She pulled her Cessna out of the private hangar at Metro Airport at two o’clock in the afternoon. As they taxied onto the runway, both knew where the excursion was headed.

  Their seat belts secured, Mink waited for the clearance from the small airport tower before taking off.

  “I’ve got to be back before nightfall, Mink.” They had an unspoken agreement never to discuss their families.

  “You seemed a little tense earlier. Is something wrong?”

  “Nothing that you should concern yourself with.”

  “I’ve got a bottle of Harvey’s Bristol Cream in the back.” Her take-off into the broad blue sky was smooth as a lake.

  “Thanks, I’d forgotten to bring anything.” Harrison crisscrossed his arms behind his neck and closed his eyes. She could tell that, like her, he loved to feel the plane rising and rising until they reached thirteen thousand feet. They both seemed to love the solitude of being beyond the reach of others.

  “I thought we could find a nice open field to land and sit and talk awhile.”

  “Sure.”

  They fell into a companionable silence.

  “Harrison! Harrison!” Mink called as she shook his sleeping form. “We’re almost there.”

  Harrison shook the sleep from his eyes and focused. “We’re landing?”

  “Just a few miles up ahead in Lexington, Kentucky. There’s a private airstrip.”

  “Kentucky?”

  “The bluish green hills and open meadows in Lexington are breathtaking this time of year. I rarely get to see this when I’m not working.”

  “Have I been asleep long?” He reached inside his pockets and popped a mint in his mouth.

  Mink didn’t bother to answer. They had left Detroit at nine-thirty A.M. and headed southwest, flying over Ohio and Indiana and then into Kentucky.

  Bathed in the pale afternoon light, they landed in Kentucky around one P.M., had lunch at the city airport, and purchased snacks, drinks, and sandwiches for a picnic later.

  “Have you spoken to Julie lately?” Harrison asked.

  “For some reason, she seems to be avoiding me. I’ve suggested that we meet and talk, but she doesn’t appear to be interested in my company.” Mink knew that Julie was uncomfortable with her affair with Harrison, that she didn’t want to be privy to Mink’s dubious choices.

  Back in the plane, Mink showed Harrison the spot on the map where one of the pilots she’d talked to had suggested they land. The secluded area was just ten minutes away by air.

  Mink found the spot more by instinct than by navigation. Spring was forcing tender green shoots to perk their heads up, and the meadow was plush with Kentucky’s famous bluegrass. It was in just this color that Mink planned to make love with Harrison.

  Mink taxied the airplane to the end of the landing strip and stopped. She slipped her lips over Harrison’s mouth to remind him of the pleasures to come. They had just a few hours, and she wanted to savor every moment.

  They deplaned and set up their picnic. In an instant, they were naked and in each other’s arms. Butterflies floated above, moving with the wind as puffy cloud shadows raced up and down the hill, enveloping the two naked forms pressed against the tall grass bed.

  They sipped Harvey’s out of paper cups and listened to crickets singing a melody. Talking wasn’t necessary. Right now both wanted only to imprint their sexual signature on the other.

  Mink lay on her back, with her arms spread wide, her lips moist, eagerly awaiting a kiss. With a smile on her lips, she drew his head against her breasts and felt his cool maroon lips encircle her nipple. Pushing her deeper into the grass, he kissed her stomach, sliding his tongue in and out of her navel. A low moan emanated from the back of her throat, and she arched her body beneath him. Harrison ran his tongue over his lips, then her small breasts, enveloping himself in the softness of her young flesh, kneading and sucking each one. A pleased sigh escaped her lips. Then, cupping her head with one hand and kissing the soft flesh beneath her chin, he teased the tight curls of her womanhood, still not giving her what she wanted. Something didn’t feel quite right.

  Dwight knew when to stroke her, when to tease her, when to enter her. When they made love it was charged with the urgency of animalistic lust. What she shared with Harrison was more earthly, like an expedition of unadulterated vanity.

  Finally Harrison touched her—there. She trembled as he slipped his fingers inside. He manipulated the inner and outer layers of her vulva.

  Mink felt her clitoris swelling, expanding as his fingers moved quicker, in and out, out and in, until she felt her muscles grabbing, tugging him back inside. She gasped when he suddenly withdrew.

  “Mmm. I love it when it’s wet like this,” Harrison said, looking into her eyes. He coated her breasts with her wetness, then took his time licking it all off while his hands returned to her vagina. She was close to an orgasm.

  Harrison lifted one of her long, lovely limbs over his shoulder, then the other. Sliding both hands beneath the sides of her hips, he pulled her closer to his head resting on the grass. His tongue outlined the fluffy triangle, making lazy circles, tickling the tiny gem; then, upon hearing her breathing quicken, he plunged his tongue inside the moist center.

  Mink licked her tongue over the top of her lips as she reached out to clutch the back of his head and felt the tingling warmth travel from her abdomen to her inner thighs. Moaning with pleasure, she rolled her hips rhythmically toward the sweet satisfaction of his probing tongue. Hot as hellfire, she felt the flames of passion shoot through her body. Her small jewel began to tingle, tighten, and then she felt a deliciousness take her over. She shivered, felt her body levitate and ride the carnal waves of passion, then floated downward, slowly, and slower still. Her body felt weightless.

  As she guided his head back to her breasts, like hot, buttered love, she slipped into his arms and pressed her dampened hand against his hardness. Her legs flung open. On his knees, he entered her slowly. Mink uttered a sigh and, lifting slightly, reached out her arms for him.

  He cupped, then stroked her breasts, all the while pushing her back against the soft bed beneath them and moving deeper and deeper inside of her. Mink stroked her heel against the back of his thigh, biting her lower lip with each stroke of his calculated, accelerated thrusts. And a voice inside her cried: He hasn’t kissed me.

  His balls slapped sporadically against the roundness of her buttocks as he moved in and out, in and out. It was a long and delicious plunge, as she gripped him, pulling him deeper toward her womb, until both succumbed to their sexual gratification.

  For a long time afterward, they were speechless. Exhausted, Harrison fell forward and placed his head between her breasts, panting.

  “Oh, my God, Harrison,” said Mink, stroking the back of his head. “That was intense.”

  “Yeah.” He could manage only to grunt that single word.

  Was he thinking of his wife? All that he had back home? Could he make love to her like this and still prefer
his wife?

  They dressed as they’d begun, in silence.

  She held him.

  And still he hadn’t kissed her.

  Their bodies swayed with the grass. The sea of green waved good-bye to the parting lovers.

  Mink felt disquieted. Their lovemaking seemed pale. She knew well that beauty inspired love, because it was nature’s gift and had God’s handwriting all over it. But there was no beauty here.

  * * *

  The following weekend, Mink was on tour again. But instead of mingling with the others, she kept to herself. She ignored everyone, and when they checked into the hotel, she went straight to her room. Once inside she double locked the door and closed the curtains. Turning away, she glanced at the telephone.

  Maybe I should call Dwight? No. It’s better if I speak with him in person.

  Mink worked on her flight manual, something required by Pyramid Airlines and the FAA, neglected lately because of Harrison. Periodically, the routing from different airports changed, and the pilots and flight attendants were required to change it in their manuals and update them constantly. If the FAA asked to see the manual and it wasn’t in order, a pilot could be fined up to ten thousand dollars. Pilots and co-pilots were required to keep the manuals on them at all times.

  Usually there were about thirty to forty pages in the manual to change every month. Employees had to document in the front of the manual what changes they’d made and highlight the changes. Some captains paid a service to update their manuals, but the dedicated pilots made the corrections themselves.

  Mink had considered using the service but in the end had decided she shouldn’t take such an important part of her job for granted. Midway through her manual, she couldn’t concentrate and put it down.

  Once in a while Mink came down to earth and stopped lying to herself about Harrison. He never called her at home just to talk, even though he knew that she was separated. He avoided her when they flew together, which was just about always. It dawned on her slowly that she was being used.

  She decided to go down to the hotel bar and have a drink. Harrison had left a message that he might drop by the lounge. Now it was ten o’clock and she was on her fourth Manhattan. Most of the crowd were middle-class and upper-middle-class businessmen and -women who spoke softly and directly into the eyes of their companions. A mixture of black and white clientele, the quaint establishment was three-quarters full and there were no loud noises, no arguing, no raps whining on the radio.

  Mink felt alienated from the crowd and ached inside. She’d waited three hours for Harrison to show up. She checked the desk for messages, but he hadn’t even had the decency to call and cancel.

  “Bartender. Bartender,” a man called out, then slid next to Mink on a barstool. “Can I get you another one of those, young lady?” he asked Mink.

  “No, thank you,” she said, trying to stand up. “I’ve had enough.” Her words were slurred, and her body swayed into his a little.

  The bartender’s eyes told her he knew that she had been waiting on someone for hours. “Good night, ma’am,” he said as he polished the already sparkling countertop.

  Ignoring the gentleman who still tried to engage her, she smiled at the bartender and left. The faces turning this way and that seemed to float before her as she walked toward the door. Her body felt detached from her head as she tried desperately to balance the two.

  Amid stares, she persevered and was thankful when she spotted Julie walking in her direction.

  “Girl, I’ve been calling your room—” her friend began.

  “Help me, Julie,” Mink said, grabbing hold of her arm. “I think I’m going to be sick.”

  “Hold on.” Julie put her arm over Mink’s shoulder and placed Mink’s arm around her waist, holding it in place with her own.

  Mink held out until they reached her room on the forty-eighth floor. Once inside, Julie lifted the toilet seat. Mink fell to her knees and released an explosion of vomit. Julie bent to her knees and patted Mink’s back until the attack subsided.

  Julie rinsed out a cold towel and handed it to Mink. “You okay now?”

  “Sure, I’ll be fine.” Mink flushed the commode, pulled herself up, and plopped down on the hard plastic. She placed the cold towel over her forehead, cupped her hands over her eyes, and shook her head. “I’m sorry, Julie. Thanks for helping me.”

  “Girl,” said Julie, sitting on the side of the bathtub, “you’re gonna have a humongous headache in the morning.”

  Then Mink was crying.

  “You want to talk about it?”

  Julie immediately called room service and ordered a tray of cheese and crackers for herself, a cup of vegetable soup for Mink, and a couple of ginger ales for each of them. By the time their late night snack arrived, Mink was well into her story.

  “It was so exciting. I thought I was living out a fantasy.”

  “There’s a reason why they call it fantasy,” said Julie, easing back in the armchair. “Now it’s time to wake up.”

  “But Harrison is—”

  “Married. And anyway, so are you! Face it, Mink, he isn’t going to divorce his wife anytime soon.”

  “But I thought—”

  “You thought the same as all the women he had before you. Don’t kid yourself. Harrison knows what he’s doing. He’s been doing it for years. I’ve got to admit something to you, Mink. Something that I’m ashamed of. I knew that you’d fall for him. And at first I hoped that he’d break your heart, just as he does to everyone.”

  “What? Why?”

  “I thought you deserved it. At first I didn’t like you. I was jealous of your being a captain and all, but I’ve gotten over it. Hell, you know that most of the flight attendants can’t stand the pilots. But I’ve grown to respect you. I can honestly say I like you.”

  “Why are you telling me this now?”

  “Because I see you destroying your marriage over a man who isn’t worth it. Harrison, like a lot of the male pilots, is a whore.”

  “But Harrison cares for me, Julie. He really does.”

  “Listen to me, Mink. When it comes to women, men like Harrison are like customers in a Baskin-Robbins shop, trying out each selection, black cherry tonight, tutti-frutti tomorrow night. You got married young, so maybe you don’t know—men get bored.”

  Men get bored. Mink remembered hearing Spice telling her those same words before she married Dwight.

  “They don’t know and they really don’t care. The woman is supposed to understand that it’s time for him to change flavors, without questions, without interference. Not necessarily their wives—probably not their wives—just the women who dress up good enough, put enough cherries, whipped cream, and toppings on. So they’re just enjoying the flow for however long the dessert lasts.”

  “Me,” Mink stated.

  “Exactly. Harrison hasn’t done anything new to you that my man hasn’t done to me. Love is constant, passion is up and down.”

  Julie piled cheese on top of a cracker and said, “You should be making a lifelong commitment with the man you’re married to, honey. Not a dog like Harrison.”

  “You don’t know the entire story about my faithful husband.” Mink turned away, embarrassed. “Anyway, I did try.”

  “Yeah?”

  She would miss Dwight, then catch herself, remembering. “As you said, I married too young, Julie.”

  “You never marry too young if you’ve got the right man. Anyway, I can’t help you in the marriage department. I’ve married and divorced twice; made two wrong choices, but I knew that going in. What’s meant to be will be. If you and Dwight are meant to be together, no matter what happens between you two now, you’ll work it out.”

  Julie paused, then continued, “Seems like young women use their bodies to get a man; older women use their heads to keep him.” She swallowed the last of her ginger ale and placed the empty bottle on the table. “I don’t believe you really want to leave Dwight. I think you know he’ll always b
e there. Love, family, and friends are healing to people. Divorce is lethal, and I don’t believe you’ve considered the domino effect it’ll have on your daughter. There are prices to pay when you play.”

  Mink sat still, stunned by the truth of her friend’s words.

  Infidelity cures nothing that is bad. It only ridicules and denounces all that is good. It tears down but never builds up; destroys but never imparts life; attacks religion but offers no adequate substitute. Mink knew her affair with Harrison was wrong. But as of yet, she’d found no substitute for the thrill.

  After Julie left her room, Mink fought the urge to call Dwight. She knew she had to completely give up Harrison. Her next step was to beg Dwight’s forgiveness, because Julie had spoken what Mink knew all along. She was wrong, and she was going to ruin her life if she didn’t straighten it out now. But how was she going to do it all? It seemed so clear in her head, but she felt anxiety creep up her neck as the image of herself alone reared its ugly head. She was scared. She couldn’t imagine being alone.

  * * *

  When she got home, May blossoms filled the air with their sweetness and covered the ground with pastel petals. Love was in bloom. Mink called upon all her courage and picked up the phone and called Dwight. Under the guise of celebrating Memorial Day together for Azure, Mink invited Dwight and his parents for a barbecue at the house. She’d finished all of the last touches of the redecorating and was eager to show her in-laws and Dwight.

  Even though they were still separated and close to a divorce, neither had spoken again about his son or the paternity suit. Mink had no idea how he settled it, if he saw the child—nothing. She couldn’t face it. Sometimes she wondered why, if she had feelings for Harrison, Dwight’s other life mattered so much.

  Now, with the holiday upon them, they pretended to be a family—sort of. Dwight volunteered to help Mink cook the ribs and shish kebabs, while his mother and father sat and enjoyed the blessings of their only grandchild.

  The few hours the husband and wife spent together through revolving doors from the patio to the kitchen passed with minimal dissension. It was almost like old times in the Majors household. Dwight apprised Mink of the latest problems at the fire station, and Mink filled him in on Pyramid business.