His to Cherish

by Stacey Lynn

  “Okay,” I whispered, blowing out a soft breath. I could be brave. I could do this because I wanted to and because the sounds of Aidan’s heavy breathing coming through the phone were turning me on.

  He was already touching himself.

  “Where?” I asked huskily.

  “If I were there, what would you want me to do?”

  Oh God. I could do this. “My nipples,” I gasped. “I’d want you to lick and suck my nipples.”

  “Then pretend I’m there, Chelsea. I love the way I brush my thumb over your nipple and it hardens from my touch. Your breasts are so full and your nipples are so pink, I love licking them and tasting you.”

  My fingers, somehow moving of their own accord, brushed my nipple beneath my shirt. A tingle of pleasure shot through my body at the brief sensation.

  “Oh God,” I moaned, my hips rolling again. Everything began to heat and tighten inside of me. The need for release was already beginning to curl tight, waiting for the moment.

  “Pinch them.”

  I did, another gasp escaping my lips, and the burning tingle increased. My body lit up as I flicked and pinched my own nipple, my hand moving slowly down my abdomen.

  “What are you doing?” I asked, my breaths harsh and panting. “Are you touching yourself?”

  “Hell yes. I’m so hard, Chelsea. Those sounds you make drive me crazy. Are you wet?”

  “Yes,” I gasped, my fingers finding my slick flesh. My boyshorts were soaked and I groaned as my fingers slid through my sex. “Aidan,” I groaned as I pressed against my clit.

  “Touch yourself, Chelsea. I love the way you taste, so sweet and pure. Imagine it’s my tongue sliding around your beautiful clit and licking you.”

  I groaned, my hips shifting and pressing against my fingers for more contact. My knees fell wide open and I gyrated against my hand.

  “So close.” I swallowed and another groan came through the phone.

  “That’s it. Slide two fingers inside, keep your thumb on your clit.”

  I listened, imagining his callused hand moving up and down his own thickness, cupping and massaging his balls. The way his thumb would swipe over the head as he’d tug on his dick.

  “Aidan.”

  His voice was quick, his breathing harsh. “God, Chelsea. Me, too, I’m so close.”

  I chased my release quickly, being more turned on by the sounds coming through the phone than maybe I’d ever been in person.

  Pressing my fingers inside, I found the ridged flesh and pressed the heel of my palm against my clit.

  “Aidan!” I cried out, my body igniting. “I’m coming.” My body tensed and coiled before I fell over the edge, my forehead lined with sweat. My thighs shook and my abdomen tensed until I heard the forceful grunts and moans of Aidan’s voice coming through the phone.

  “Yes,” he hissed, and grunted one more time. “Damn.”

  I swallowed, my cheeks flushed with pleasure and embarrassment as we regained our sense.

  His breathing slowed, while my heart still beat rapidly against my ribs.

  “That was incredible,” he murmured.

  It was. Oh my gosh, it was incredible. My lips tilted up. “Imagine how good it could have been if you were here.”

  “Soon,” he said, his voice shaky but deep. “Good night, Chelsea.”

  —

  Some mornings I dreaded waking up and would rather curl under the covers, staying cocooned in my warm bed. Wearing nothing more than yoga pants and an old shirt, I could have lost myself in a Gilmore Girls marathon. I never did, because I’d have been bored in an hour, but even if I had wanted to, today was not one of those days where I was even allowed the guilty fantasy.

  Aidan and I were not only going to over to Beth Johnson’s house, we were welcoming Shane home for the first time in a month.

  I was still uncertain whether having additional people at his house was best for his homecoming, but Beth assured us that he wanted to see us.

  He wanted us to see him doing well…better.

  Which made me smile, because I felt as if we were all doing a little bit better. It’d been almost three months since Derrick’s death and school had ended yesterday. With summer quickly on the horizon, Aidan’s construction business was picking up, so we didn’t see each other except for late at night and on weekends.

  His laughs started coming quicker and a little bit louder. His smiles were more frequent and his eyes weren’t constantly tinged with sadness.

  He had his bad moments, the sad hours and the mournful days, like I knew he always would.

  But today as we drove toward Shane’s house, I felt as if nothing could stop us.

  Nothing could keep all of us from continuing to heal and remembering there was more to life than loss.

  There was more to life than pain.

  There could be joy even in the mourning.

  “You okay?” Aidan asked, squeezing my hand as he parked in the Johnsons’ driveway. “You’ve been really quiet today.”

  “I’m good,” I said softly. “I’m looking forward to this, but I don’t want to overwhelm him.”

  He squeezed my hand and brought it to his lips, kissing my knuckles before opening his door.

  “We’ll only stay for a little while so he can get some rest. Besides,” he said, hopping out of his truck, “I’ve got plans for you tonight.”

  The door closed and my body began to come alight with anticipation.

  We hadn’t made love since before our first date, which was two weeks ago. Aidan hadn’t been kidding when he’d said he wanted us to slow down and do things right. The night on the phone was the last time we’d found our release together. In the succeeding nights, we’d slept together, but Aidan put a stop to any activity as soon as it became too heated.

  Sometimes, the lack of physical contact brought out my insecurities that lingered just below the surface, the ones that told me he might not be into me that way anymore. But then Aidan would flash me a look like the one he was giving me now, and everything on his face showed how much he wanted me.

  He just wanted to wait.

  I admired his self-control even though I desperately wanted him to lose it.

  “Draws out the anticipation,” he’d said to me before.

  I had rolled my eyes then.

  And I did it again when he took my hand and helped me out of the truck.

  “You’re blushing.”

  I nudged his arm with my shoulder. “Shut up. I was thinking about what you could have planned for tonight.”

  “You’ll like it.” He leaned down and whispered into my ear. It sent goosebumps down my neck and my arms tingled. “I promise you.”

  Beth stood at the open door as we walked up to her front porch. Without waiting for us to reach her, she took the few steps out of her house and wrapped her arms around me, pulling me into a warm hug so tight that I wondered if she might crack one of my ribs.

  “Thank you for coming,” she whispered into my ear.

  When she pulled back, she did the same thing to Aidan.

  “Shane’s inside. He’s anxious to see you both.”

  I reached out and took Aidan’s hand for support—lending it and needing it at the same time.

  I was still uncertain about my presence here. Aidan had known Shane since he was a kid. I’d just been the boy’s school librarian and sometimes-confidant ever since I’d heard his screams…

  I shook the thought out of my head and caught Aidan’s eye. “Ready?”

  “I was just about to ask you the same thing.”

  I nodded, trying to be strong for him as well as myself.

  It would do no good to have Shane see me on the verge of a mini breakdown.

  As soon as we entered Beth’s house, everything felt different from the last time I’d been there.

  The windows were open and a breeze drifted through the house. It was warm and inviting in a way it hadn’t felt last time, when I had come to talk to her about my concerns regar
ding Shane.

  It had been only a month ago, but based on the peacefulness that was permeating the air, as well as the soft music playing on her kitchen counter docking station, the calmness in the house made it seem like a lifetime ago.

  So much had changed.

  “Hey, Mr. D.,” Shane said, pushing back the kitchen chair he’d been sitting in when he saw us.

  “Son,” Aidan said, his voice tripping over the word and laden with emotion. My hand moved to Aidan’s back, trying to soothe him, but I didn’t know how much it helped.

  Shane’s eyes went wet right before Aidan pulled him into a firm hug. When he pulled back, his bottom lip sucked between his teeth, he gave Aidan a nod.

  My own emotions began to bubble over when Shane let him go and wrapped his arms around me as well.

  “Hey, Shane,” I whispered, holding him tight. I didn’t let go, even when his arms fell back to his sides.

  “Miss Dwyer,” he murmured into my neck. “Thank you for being there for me.”

  “Anytime,” I choked out, wiping tears from under my eyes as I finally managed to let Shane go. His cheeks were pink and the bags under his eyes were gone. His eyes held a familiar sparkle. He looked good.

  No, great.

  Healthy.

  God, he was such a good kid.

  “So,” Beth said, her own emotion evident on her wet cheeks. “I have some tea and coffee.”

  “Coffee, please,” Aidan answered.

  I smiled. “The same, and I’ll help.” I nodded my head in Aidan’s direction, silently telling him to have some time with Shane while we got the drinks ready. Neither Beth nor I moved while Aidan threw his arm around Shane’s shoulder and ushered him into the family room. He was only fourteen, but he was tall and wiry. Soon he’d be as tall as Aidan.

  “He’s a strong man,” Beth said as we kept our eyes trained on the males in the far room. Her house was open, allowing us to see them talking quietly as they sat next to each other. “I imagine he has you to thank for some of his strength.”

  “That’s all him.”

  I meant it, too. My insides fluttered as I watched Aidan, a man who just a month ago couldn’t bear to see Shane in the hospital. Now he was holding his hand and comforting him—or instilling fatherly wisdom in a hurting young boy.

  Beth and I were quiet as we filled three mugs with coffee and one with hot chocolate for Shane. I smirked when I saw the innocent childhood treat, but Beth shrugged, a slight smile on her face. “It used to be his favorite.”

  I said nothing.

  My emotions were on overdrive, threatening to spill over.

  “You’re good for him,” Beth said, catching me by surprise as she loaded cream, sugar, and spoons onto a tray. “I’m glad he has you.”

  I looked out at Aidan and felt my eyes go hazy. “I’m glad I have him.”

  As we reached the family room, I returned Aidan’s smile when he saw me, but it was only a quick glance before he gave Shane his full attention again.

  “So I’m behind in school and baseball started a few weeks ago, but my tutor says I should be able to get caught up quickly with everything.”

  “Not surprised. You’re a smart guy.”

  Shane beamed with the compliment before his face fell. I watched him nervously suck his bottom lip into his teeth.

  His hand ran through his sandy brown hair. “Yeah, but it’s baseball that has me more worried. I mean, I’m not the best player anyway, but Coach Taylor has been awesome about letting me join when I can—”

  He stopped.

  Aidan bristled at the sudden pause, the way the sentence lingered in the air like a thick blanket.

  Beth and I were sitting on two leather wingback chairs as we watched them with rapt interest. It hadn’t been a conversation I could contribute to anyway, and I liked watching Aidan talk to Shane. It showed me the kind of dad he had been to Derrick and only made me love him more.

  He was good with kids.

  “Yeah…but I was wondering…” Shane’s voice drifted again before he finally seemed to gather his courage. “Will you help me with my pitching? Like you used to?”

  Aidan stiffened further and his eyes focused on the large window facing Shane’s backyard. I could see the struggle in his eyes as he considered the request.

  The poor kid looked terrified as he stared into his mug of hot chocolate.

  “It’s okay if you can’t, I completely get it. But my therapist says I need to try to do things that Derrick and I did, and try…I don’t know…to go back to normal or some crap.”

  Aidan shook his head. His chin wobbled before he sucked in a breath and blinked harshly. I watched a myriad of emotions scroll across his face before he seemed to gather his own strength.

  “Of course I will. I made you a promise when your dad died that I’d always be here for you. Losing Derrick—” His voice broke and I longed to move to him from across the room, but I didn’t. Whatever Aidan had to handle with Shane was their business.

  I looked to Beth to see tears slowly and silently rolling down her cheeks again.

  “Losing Derrick is something I’ll never recover from,” Aidan said, his voice stronger but still heavy. “But I’ll be there for you like I promised, whatever you need.”

  Shane’s own eyes watered and tears spilled over. “Sometimes I think you should hate me.”

  “God,” I choked out over a sob.

  Aidan’s head snapped to mine and his eyes were wet as well. Hell, we were all a crying, sobbing mess. This couldn’t be good for Shane.

  With a shake of my head and tight, small smile, I let Aidan know I was okay before he looked back to Shane. When he did, he put both of his large hands on the boy’s knees.

  “I can’t lie and say there aren’t a lot of things I’m not angry with about that day. But you did nothing wrong. I know you’re working through this and I know the guilt you carry. Someday you’re going to have to realize that it was an accident. It’s no one’s fault, not even yours.”

  His voice was stern but overflowing with love and care for the hurting boy in front of him.

  Eventually, Shane nodded and the guys talked some more about baseball and football before Beth mentioned the carnival going on over the weekend. It was something Latham Hills always had after school was out for the summer. It seemed like the perfect time to celebrate and begin enjoying the season.

  The girls and I usually went up to the music tent and then watched the fireworks. We were supposed to go up Sunday night this year but I hadn’t asked Aidan yet if he wanted to join us, too concerned that maybe all those memories would make him think of Derrick.

  The conversation shifted to more pleasant topics before we left, and I couldn’t help but examine Aidan’s expression.

  The day had been hard for him, just like it had been for Shane, but it didn’t seem to be weighing him down, either.

  I wasn’t sure if it was avoidance or healing that was occurring behind his stormy green eyes, but as we said our goodbyes, smiles larger and freer than when we had arrived, I was still thankful that we’d made the trip.

  Shane was an awesome kid with a great future in store for him. I hoped the scare he’d had and the hopelessness he’d felt faded as he grew, allowing him to heal and move on.

  Just like I hoped the same thing for Aidan.

  Chapter 22

  Aidan didn’t start the truck when he slid the key into the ignition.

  Instead, he covered his face with his hands and scrubbed, expelling a long and loud, shaky breath.

  “Man, that fucking sucked.”

  My hand went to his thigh and I squeezed. Any comfort I could give him was minimal.

  “It really did, but he seems to be doing okay, too. And it was really nice of you to offer to help him with baseball.”

  He dropped his hands to his lap, covering my hand in his and entwining our fingers together. “I don’t know how in the hell I’m going to be able to do that.”

  “You will,” I
assured him. “You can do anything.”

  He turned to face me, a small smile on his lips. “I think you think too much of me.”

  “I think you’re everything I say you are and probably more.” I meant it. I had most likely barely scratched the surface of the kind of man he was. But I knew that underneath his typically quiet nature, he was everything I’d ever wanted and more.

  “Maybe you just bring out the good in me,” he said, a teasing glint in his eyes. He leaned closer to me and cupped my cheek with his palm.

  The atmosphere in the cab turned from tense and sad to something warmer. Something that rolled between us and all over my skin like the gentlest of waves.

  “I doubt that.” I blinked and found myself leaning forward, our lips inches from each other. Aidan closed the space and our breath mingled. My pulse kicked up and my thighs pressed together. His nose rubbed against the side of mine and his fingers behind my ear tightened.

  He smelled like coffee and cologne and I breathed it in, loving the closeness, the tenderness of the moment.

  As I inhaled, longing for the kiss I knew was about to come, he dropped his head and rested his forehead against mine, closing his eyes. “I could fall in love with you, Chelsea Dwyer, if it was a different time and I wasn’t such a mess.” My jaw dropped, shocked as the words began to piece together and I understood what he was saying.

  That he wouldn’t fall in love with me. My shoulders tensed, but before I could pull back, Aidan lifted his head and pressed his lips against mine.

  “I think that came out wrong.”

  I swallowed, waiting for him to finish, and just when I thought he wouldn’t, that he was going to leave me wondering what he meant, he gave it to me.

  Easily. Without holding anything back. And it shattered me in the best of ways.

  “Someday I’m going to tell you how insanely in love with you I am, but when that day comes, I want you to be as certain as I am that it’s not because we’re connected to Derrick’s death. That might have been the catalyst bringing us together, but I’m going to tell you I’m in love with you solely because you’re the loveliest and sexiest and kindest woman I’ve ever met and I want you to know it without reservation.”