Lost in Shadows (Lost)

by Anita DeVito

  “Read it in a book?” He shook his head when she nodded. “Carolina, being an artist, my brother is prone to a certain level of melodrama, but I have never seen him that mad over flowers.”

  “Oh, it isn’t the flowers. Butch had his cowboy hat on, real low over his eyes. Well, this pretty young thing in jeans she painted on screamed from across the room, ‘Oh my God! You’re Butch McCormick, right? I love you.’ It was like vultures circling carrion. Young, old, short, tall. They all made a beeline for Butch. At first, I just watched the scene in horror.”

  “At first? What did you do, Carolina?”

  She described the topless scene in detail. “I thought of Katie and knew I had to do something. I found a watering hose tucked into a corner and, well, let’s just say I cooled things off.”

  “You…oh, jeez. No wonder Clyde is pissed.” He couldn’t believe the trouble the two of them could get into on a short “business meeting.” “We aren’t going to tell Katie. Butch needs to do that. Agreed?” He noticed then that the ends of her hair were wet. He held up the thick strands. “You’re making trouble for me, aren’t you? Causing a fuss with my brother, knowing I’m going to take your side?” A grin crept onto his face; the enjoyment that came from just being with her had him forgetting their problems. “You know what this is going to lead to, don’t you?”

  “What? He’s not going to retaliate. You won’t let him hurt me. Neither would Katie.”

  “I told you before, that’s not the kind of man Butch is.” He selected another piece of jerky from the bag. “He is the kind of man to write a song about it and sell a million copies. I wouldn’t expect it to be a nice song.”

  She went pasty white as the cockiness drained from her blue eyes. “He wouldn’t.”

  “His latest album. Ask Katie how many songs are about her.”

  “Oh my God. The chicken song.”

  “And the bull-riding song. And the up-a-tree song. And the rode-hard-and-put-away-wet song.” There were a few others, but he didn’t feel the need to tell her about the sappy ones his brother wrote.

  “I noticed his music is different on the new release. Upbeat, even funny instead of melancholy and full of yearning. You don’t think he would do that, do you?” Color crept into her face. “Oh. Oh no. What should I do?”

  He shrugged his shoulders, struggling to keep a straight face. “I’d play nice, if I were you.”

  …

  Carolina had made her grandmother’s meatloaf recipe, potatoes au gratin, and broccoli for dinner. She hadn’t said more than two words to Emily and John McCormick since they’d walked in the door thirty minutes ago. She wanted to; she just couldn’t think of any. She stayed in the kitchen, keeping her hands busy and her mouth shut until everyone was served. She’d given Butch a double serving of everything. She sat last, glancing stealthily at him. He sat with a mountain a food on his plate and a smirk that gave her hope she was on the road to forgiveness.

  Katie looked between them, clearly noticing something was awry. Carolina grinned, hoping it looked friendly and natural, worried it looked plastic. She looked to Jeb for support. He winked at her while Butch greedily shoveled in the meatloaf.

  Emily McCormick slapped the fork out of her son’s hand. “Carolina, thank you for such a wonderful dinner.” Their mother reached out her hands, and the family connected for grace. “Dear lord, thank you for providing us with the food necessary to sustain our bodies and the grace necessary to sustain our souls. Thank you for bringing us together and for bringing Carolina into our lives.”

  The table muttered “amen” while Carolina blushed. The hush of the dining room filled with the sound of silverware on porcelain and mutterings of compliments and thanks. Butch started to push away from the table.

  “Do you need something, Butch?” she asked.

  “Just the butter. These rolls you made need just a pat of butter.”

  “I’ll get it.” She jumped from her chair and ran into the kitchen. “Butter or margarine?” She snatched both from the refrigerator and ran back into the dining room. “Here you go, Butch. Do you need anything else? Salt for the potatoes?” She grabbed the shaker from Jeb’s hand and gave it to Butch.

  “Hey! I was using that.” Jeb reached across the table for the shaker but she slapped his hand.

  “Your brother is using it. Hold your horses.”

  Tom set down his silverware and leaned back in his chair, his thick arms crossed over his broad chest. “What is going on?”

  “With what, dear?” Emily McCormick asked.

  “With Carolina and Butch. And Jeb.” Tom leaned forward. “Did something happen today?”

  She stiffened, her gaze slowly drifting to Butch. The thought of him writing a song and telling the whole world what she did took embarrassment to a new level. Then she saw Katie. The look on her face said Butch hadn’t told her about their day at the gardens. Katie wouldn’t find it funny.

  Katie looked at Carolina, and Carolina tried to lie. “N-no.” She lowered her too-high voice. “No. Of course not.”

  Katie didn’t buy it. She held out the stainless steel spoon like a weapon pointed at her husband. “Confess.”

  Butch put up his hands. “I didn’t do anything.”

  “He didn’t.” Carolina crossed her heart. “Those women took off their shirts all on their own.”

  Katie blinked twice. Then exploded. “What? Women? Plural? What the fu…fudgesicles were you doing with topless women?”

  Tom and Jeb snickered like school boys.

  Emily gasped. “Language, Katherine.”

  Butch denied everything. “I kept my hands in my pockets and closed my eyes. I’m innocent.”

  “We were just looking at the flowers,” Carolina said, defending him again. “One woman recognized him and then they just…descended upon him, like pigeons on a hot dog bun.”

  Butch’s brows pressed down. “I am not a hot dog bun.”

  Katie held the spoon to Butch’s lips. “Just a minute, wiener boy. Then what happened, Carolina?”

  “One of the younger women unbuttoned her top and wanted Butch to sign her chest. The others copied her. Then, buttons were flying everywhere and a few stripped off their shirts altogether. I’ve never seen so many breasts. Big ones, little ones, perky ones, saggy ones. I worried—”

  Butch snorted derisively.

  “I did worry for you. I thought you were going to suffocate. And then I thought Katie would be upset, and she shouldn’t be upset in her condition, so I turned on the watering hose and cooled them off.”

  Kate sputtered once and then laughed. She wrapped her arms around her husband’s neck and hugged him tightly. “See. You did need someone to protect your virtue. Thank you, Carolina.”

  “You’re welcome.” She relished having the approval of the other woman in the house. She felt like she fit. Well, almost. “Butch? You’re not really mad at me, are you?”

  Butch pulled Katie onto his lap and rubbed her belly. “Well, you did make a great dinner and gave me a new idea for a song so, I’ll forgive you.”

  Carolina sank into her chair. “No song. Please, Butch, no song.”

  Emily cleared her throat. “What exactly is Katie’s condition that she shouldn’t be upset?”

  Lots of people became very interested in their dinner plates. Carolina forgot about the threat of the song and wished one of them would just put her out of her misery. How could she have blurted that out? Jeb reached for her, and she clung to his hand.

  Butch smiled and rubbed his wife’s belly. “Well, Grandma, we were going to wait a little longer to tell everyone, but it seems good news just doesn’t want to stay quiet.”

  “Oh my God.” Emily clapped her hands. “A baby?”

  “It better be just one,” Katie threatened teasingly as she snuggled into Butch.

  Emily clapped her hands again and came out of her chair to hug them. “Oh, there’s so much to do. Have you picked a room? What about colors? I wonder if it will be a boy or a
girl. A Noah’s ark theme works for either. I like Noah’s ark. Do you like Noah’s ark?”

  “I do,” Katie confessed, laughing.

  “Mama, we need to keep it quiet a bit longer. The tabloids have been ruthless lately.”

  “Can you imagine,” Tom said, “the field day they would have between Katie dousing the reporter with her drink, Carolina cooling off the fans, and then a baby? I’ll bet it’s already in print that Carolina is Butch’s lover.”

  “Shit.” Jeb jumped from the table so hard his chair rocked back on two legs.

  “Language, Jebediah,” his mother said to the empty chair.

  “What’s wrong?” Carolina asked, looking around the table. “Should I go after him?”

  Butch shook his head. “He’ll be back. He probably just forgot to renew his subscription to Black Ops Weekly.”

  The meal resumed, but Carolina had lost her appetite. She chased the food around her plate, anxiously waiting for Jeb to reappear. Most of the plates had been pushed toward the center while the talk about the baby continued. She gave her restless hands something to do by clearing the table and starting the dishes.

  Tom brought in more dishes and began packing the leftovers. “I’m glad Butch and Katie are having a kid, but I’m not looking forward to seven months of baby talk. I should start a jar for that.”

  “It’s nice that Mr. and Mrs. McCormick are so excited. I, uh, didn’t mean to let the cat out of the bag.”

  Tom shrugged. “Everything’s fine. I thought they should have told the grandparents right away. It would have made it easier to explain why the wedding was moved up six months. Half the county probably guessed what’s going on.”

  “Carolina. Come in here.” Jeb shouted the order through the intercom.

  She sneered at the speaker. “I don’t appreciate being ordered about long distance. And that lord-of-the-castle tone has got to go.”

  “You would prefer he came in here and breathed down your neck?”

  She rolled her eyes. “How do I talk back to him?”

  Tom laughed. “This button here. You sure you want to do that? Nobody talks back to Jebediah McCormick.”

  “You bet I do.” Carolina tossed her hair over her shoulder and gave Tom a haughty look. She lifted her chin and pushed the button. “Pray thee, my lord, I live to do as you command. What dost thou wishest?”

  “What dost what?” His voice was a confused whisper before he cut through the sarcasm. “I wishest you to get your smart little ass into the family room.”

  “My dear lord. Which room ist thine fam-i-lee room?” She released the little button and waited for a response. It came a minute later in big heavy footsteps down the breezeway. Colors blurred as he threw her over his shoulder and carried her back down the hallway to their television room.

  He dumped her on the couch and pointed to the laptop he set up on the coffee table. “Look.”

  “Okay.” A chaotic collage of color filled the screen. “What am I looking at?”

  Katie leaned over her shoulder. “It’s a good picture of you. They always get me with my mouth hanging open like I’m trying to catch flies.”

  “I don’t understand.” Shapes on the screen took form until an image appeared of Carolina with her hair thrown back and her chest thrust out amid the backdrop of flowers and partially clad women. “What is this?”

  “The local rag has you plastered across their website.” Jeb paced back and forth, nearly growling.

  She scrolled to the top and read. “‘Blond Bombshell Cools off McCormick Fans.’ I’m the blond bombshell?”

  Tom leaned in and whistled. “I would have called you an ‘avenging angel.’ That’s an incredible picture.”

  She shook her head in denial. “It’s not me. It’s the bra. It promised miracles.”

  Tom laughed, punched Jeb playfully. “I do believe it delivered. You are one lucky man, Clyde.”

  Jeb pushed Tom away and stalked toward Carolina, barely containing his temper. “Do you have any idea what this means? There are men out there looking for you, wanting to hurt you. They destroyed your house. They tried to kill you. Now you’re plastered all over a website with my brother’s very well-known face.”

  “Jebediah,” his father said quietly. “There’s no need to scare her.”

  Jeb didn’t back down. “There’s every need to scare her. She has no concept what kind of men are after her.”

  She remembered her time in the dark hole in the floor, hearing the horrible laughter, feeling the books raining above her body. Slowly, she backed away from the family she had too quickly become comfortable with. The family she endangered. “Oh. Oh no. I need to go.” She ran through the house, Jeb’s voice booming after her.

  “Carolina. Stop,” he commanded. “I said stop.”

  Tears rolled down her cheeks. “No, Jeb. I need to get away from here.” She entered his wing and ran up the stairs.

  Halfway across the living room, he caught her, blocking the path to the bedroom. He took her arms and gave her a little shake. “Where are you going to go, Carolina? What’s your plan?”

  She threw her elbows, breaking his hold. “I’ll go somewhere. Anywhere. I’ll…I’ll go to New York and I’ll…I’ll make a scene so everyone sees I’m alone, I’m far away from Butch and Katie and Tom.”

  “And me,” he growled. “You would go far away from me?”

  “I have to, Jeb. Don’t you see? I couldn’t live with myself if something happened to you. To any of them.”

  …

  Jeb took a deep breath to center himself. He gentled his arms without letting her go, drawing big, lazy circles on her back.

  “Running now isn’t the answer. It’s dangerous. We need to stop these men before they hurt anyone else. To do that, we are going to need to use our heads and we’re going to need help. I’ve already made the call.” He spoke softly, right against her ear, knowing she listened. He closed his eyes and opened his arms. “I love you, Carolina, and I want you to stay with me. I will not be like your family and bully you into doing what I want. You need to choose. You have options now. Nate found a place for you to go, a friend outside Phoenix. If you want to run, we’ll do it smart.”

  He survived because he was a strong man, a leader, a commander. By nature, he held on tightly, protectively, to those people lucky enough to be considered his. It was a feat of strength, of determination, when his arms fell away, giving her the freedom she demanded. He expected her to bolt up and run, but she stayed with him. Her arms held onto him.

  “I don’t want to leave. I don’t, but I’m scared.” She whispered the words against his throat, pressing closer to the shelter of his body.

  “I’ll take care of you. I swear. No one will ever hurt you again.”

  “You can’t promise that—”

  “Yes, I can. I can and I do promise that.” He set her aside. “I’m going to sleep out here. Until we have this behind us, I’m not going to touch you.”

  Her brows pressed together, her tongue moistened her lips. “You’re not going to touch me? Why?” Her voice quivered.

  He hung his head. “I fucked up today, Carolina. I never told you not to leave the house. I just assumed you wouldn’t. I was thinking like your boyfriend, not your bodyguard.” He lifted his head, filled his chest with air. “It’s not going to happen again. Things will get better. You can trust me.”

  “Trust you? Trust you!” She grabbed a pillow from the corner of the couch, and whacked him in the shoulder. “Not going to touch me. Like you’re doing me a favor.” She whacked him again.

  “Carolina. Stop that.” The slaps with the fluffy pillow didn’t hurt. The tears wetting her eyes did. “Listen to me.”

  “You’re just as bad as Derrick and my uncle. ‘I know what’s best for you, Carolina.’” She dropped her voice an octave and imitated her uncle. “‘You just do what we he-men say, and everything will be better.’ Well it’s not better!” She screamed at the top of her lungs. “My life is a mess
. My house is destroyed. I’m running from criminals, and now you want to take away the one good thing about all this. How in the world is this better?”

  He didn’t move a muscle. Any move would surely be the wrong one. He hated being compared to Jenkins. He gave her a choice, hadn’t he? Had he made a decision or two? Well, yeah, but it was for her own good. Shit. It turned his stomach.

  He slunk heavily to the couch and rubbed his face in his palms. “I don’t know how to do right by you.” He looked up then. Fire still lit her eyes, her chest rose and fell with emotion, but she’d dropped the pillow. “We haven’t known each other long, but I don’t fall for women. You’re the first. The only. I don’t want to mess up. How could I live with myself if…if…”

  “Exactly. That is exactly where I am.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “You said you would take care of me.” She pushed her way in until she knelt between his knees. “I need to be skin to skin.” She unbuttoned his shirt and ran her hands over his scarred chest.

  He heard the need in her voice, felt it in her hands, and was helpless to stop her.

  God help them both.

  He ripped the shirt over her head, sending her hair flying in all directions. He pulled her to him and buried his face in her soft valley.

  She cradled him to her chest. She kissed his head and ran her nails down his broad back, dancing around the scars that marred his skin. He suckled and nipped and her body began to move against his. Every nerve ending jumped at his touch. He set her on her feet long enough to strip the jeans from her long legs. He pushed his own to his ankles, his cock springing up, hard and full. She crawled onto his lap, grinding against him.

  “I need to be in you,” he confessed. “I need to be so deep in you, you can never get me out.”

  “Maybe I never want to get you out.” She smiled at him, sexy despite her red eyes and swollen lips. “Tell me you have a condom.”

  “Check the end table.” Jeb teased the blond curls poised precariously over him. Just a roll of his hips and he would be home. She leaned to the right, one hand on his shoulder to steady her as she fought with the pull on the drawer. Her legs spread wide put her at his mercy. He fingered her little button, his free hand keeping her in place. “I love how ready you are for me.” His fingers played in her honey, bringing her pleasure until her breath came fast and shallow.