Broken Series

by Dawn Pendleton

  I was going to have to take my time. And that meant we weren’t going to let this little make-out session go any further. Not until we had a serious talk about our future. Our immediate one, at least.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Mallory

  My brain was still reeling from the ridiculous day. Rainey had finally disclosed her secret and although it surprised me, I promised to be there for her as much as possible. Even being two hundred miles away. I would figure it out. For now, though, I was assured that she was going to be okay and that was enough. It had to be.

  Walking into my apartment to find Leila talking about my dad and then Luke defending him—that was more of a shock than Rainey’s news. In fact, I had stood in the doorway for a few minutes before I made any noise. Not one of them noticed I was there, but after my gasp, Luke had wanted to comfort me.

  I was beyond comforting, though. I was furious. Was Leila really the kind of person I wanted to spend any amount of time with? It was obvious she wasn’t as much my friend as I thought. And so I’d kicked her out of the apartment and Sarah with her. I had wanted to believe my roommates cared for me, but it was apparent they didn’t. Talk about a downer.

  But Luke was there. He was the one person I’d wanted to turn to more than anything after Rainey’s disclosure and then after Leila’s outburst, I just wanted him to envelop me in his Luke bubble and never let go. So before he could protest, I kissed him. And oh, what a kiss it was.

  His lips were warm and soft, his breath mingled with mine enticingly. I was more in love with him than I’d ever been, and if it took me all night, I would get the courage to tell him so. He was the only one for me. Even if it meant more sacrifices, I would do it so that we could be together.

  When he bit my bottom lip, my gasp of surprise turned into a groan of approval as his tongue rubbed against mine. I pulled him closer so our bodies made contact at every available spot. The result was mind blowing. He had always been a skilled kisser, but he was seducing me with this kiss, and I wanted nothing more than to be seduced.

  When he pulled away, I figured he just needed some air. I was out of breath too. But he moved farther away, turned toward the balcony and I was left standing alone with my chest heaving uncontrollably. I was breathless and my brain was goop. I was still trying to catch up when Luke turned back to me.

  “What are we doing?” he blurted. He looked surprised by his own words. I guessed he didn’t mean to say it aloud.

  “We were,” I stressed, “about to go to bed.”

  I wished it were true. I also wished saying it aloud would change his mind.

  “No. We can’t. We’ve been there, Mal. This is … crazy. We’ve got to talk,” he insisted.

  I pouted and sucked my lower lip into my mouth, tasting him there. He was the one driving me crazy with that sexy, serious look and a body that got me wet just thinking about it. I needed to end my sexual frustration. But I knew we needed to talk, too.

  “So talk,” I said with a shrug. I made my way across the living room and sat on the couch. Funny, I didn’t remember it being quite so uncomfortable.

  “I’m moving to Boston,” he said. “I mean, I already have. I’m living here now, damn it.”

  He looked so cute, all flustered and tongue-tied. It took a second for the meaning of his words to sink in.

  “But you hate Boston,” I protested.

  “But I love you,” he replied. “And if I’ve learned nothing else from my past mistakes, it’s to never let the girl you love leave you. Especially when you have the chance to keep her. Assuming, of course, that I still have a chance. Do I?”

  I couldn’t answer him. I had only just come to terms with my own love for him, how could it be so easy for him to just announce his own? I was still reeling when he continued his little speech.

  “There have been so many mistakes between us, Mal. I never should have let you go three years ago. I don’t mean I should have prevented you from going to Boston—I should have accepted what you wanted and went with you. When you came back, I never expected to learn that you didn’t even know about Joe. But back to us. I never truly got over you, no matter how much I tried.”

  He continued. “You were fourteen when we started dating, and although that is young, I knew, even then, that you were the girl for me. There isn’t anyone else who can drive me crazy one minute and make me so hard I want to die the next. I’ve found a reason to change. And it’s all you,” he said.

  I gulped.

  “It’s you, Mallory. You are the reason for my very existence. Without you, I have nothing. I am nothing.”

  He paced his words as if saying them physically hurt him. He barred his soul to me, more than he’d ever done in the years we’d known each other.

  I was speechless. I knew how much of a risk he was taking. I knew because what he said was exactly how I felt. He verbalized my inner struggle resolutely. My heart beat rapidly with the intensity of his emotions. Guys were usually so reserved and not emotional. But he was letting me in, really letting me in, for the first time, ever, and I couldn’t even tell him that I felt the same way.

  I was frozen on the couch. My breath caught in my throat and my larynx refused to cooperate with my brain. So I sat there and stared at him, certain that if I didn’t say something soon, he would bolt. I swallowed several times in an attempt to speak but to no avail. Silence prevailed. As we sat there in silence, I considered what he was giving up in order to be with me. Everything, for as long as I could remember, revolved around me. Dad spoiled me to no end and Luke continued the tradition when we started dating. What we did was always based on what I wanted to do, never what he wanted. In that instant, it occurred to me that I was the spoiled rotten brat Luke had accused me of being when I first went back to Casper.

  I was selfish. The realization cut like a knife, but Luke was here, giving me his heart, sacrificing his life, his wants and desires, so we could be together. It wasn’t fair to ask him to do that. It wasn’t fair for me to accept that he’d even chosen the sacrifice. None of the sacrifice mattered to him anymore—all that mattered was us being together.

  And he was right. That was all that mattered. Everything else would fall into place, one way or another, so long as we were facing our problems together. I agreed wholeheartedly with everything he said, and I mirrored his feelings, but I still struggled to find the right words.

  “Mallory, I want you forever,” he said.

  I could tell he was even more nervous in my silence. What could I say? The words just wouldn’t come. So I did the only thing I could to convey my emotions.

  I leapt off the couch and into his arms. He caught me and I wrapped my legs around his waist as I slammed my mouth to his. His hands curled under the curve of my ass and he squeezed when I bit his lip the same way he’d done to me. He growled, a low, menacing sound deep in his throat, but I wasn’t afraid. I clung tighter to him.

  I ran my fingers through his hair and pulled his head closer, our mouths meshing together with passion and love. He held me up and took two steps toward the kitchen and sat me on the counter of the island. My ankles stayed locked behind him to keep him close as his hands came up to cup my face. His eyes were open as we kissed and I stared into his eyes. It wasn’t awkward or weird, either, which was amazing. He pulled away for a second, his tongue trailing along my lip lingeringly.

  “I love you,” he whispered.

  I had been speechless throughout his spiel, unable to tell him how I felt, but now the words came out without hesitation.

  “I love you,” I said.

  He groaned and put his lips back to mine. He forced my lips apart and thrust his tongue inside my mouth with renewed hunger. He gently swept his fingers across the bare skin above my tank top and I shivered. I pulled away from his mouth.

  “Make love to me,” I demanded.

  He didn’t react right away. He took his sweet time letting his fingers glide across my skin. He made goose bumps pop up along my arms and he
smiled.

  “I have never, ever been more turned on or wanted to make love to a woman so badly.” He grinned. “But we still need to talk.”

  “Mmm. Talk later, sex now,” I said as I pressed my lips persuasively back to his.

  He laughed and I groaned in frustration when he pulled away.

  “Mallory, sex doesn’t solve problems. Conversation does,” he said.

  I noticed his eyes kept falling to my legs, which were bare under the short skirt I wore. I wondered if I could seduce him. I smiled an evil smile as I put said plan into action.

  I scooted back on the countertop and lifted my right leg so my foot rested flat against the cool marble and I was exposed to his eyes. I wore a little red thong, but I pulled it aside and touched myself. My fingers traced the delicate folds of my core and I was wet already. I held my panties to one side with my left hand while my right hand explored. I flicked and rubbed and circled myself, moaning from my own attentions.

  “Mallory,” Luke warned.

  He didn’t take his eyes off me, though.

  I closed my eyes as I approached an orgasm, picturing Luke’s hands on me, inside me. He yanked my hand away from my body and my eyes flew open. He knelt before me and pressed his tongue to me. He licked and sucked on my pink flesh until I was just about to come again.

  When he stepped away, I nearly pulled his head back until I realized he was standing before me, undoing his jeans. I licked my lips in eager anticipation of what was to come. He rubbed his rock-hard member, not that it needed the stimulation. He was ready. So was I. When he rubbed himself against my clit, I moaned. I needed him more than I needed anything in my life. He rolled on a condom that magically appeared.

  I cried out when he entered me and he froze, only halfway in.

  “Did I hurt you?” he whispered as if he was afraid of the answer.

  I kissed his lips and smiled at him.

  I answered him honestly. “Of course not. It hurts being away from you.”

  “Thank God.”

  He thrust the rest of the way into me and I was so full—full of Luke, full of life, full of love. And I had him to thank for giving me such wonderful fulfillment.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Luke

  I was slumped over her body where she lay on the counter. My jeans were wrapped around my ankles and I was fully sated and exhausted. But I lifted myself off her limp body; she was as worn out as I.

  “I guess you weren’t the only one who learned a thing or two in college,” I whispered against her ear as I got up.

  She giggled as she rubbed her cheek against the marble countertop.

  “Bathroom?”

  She pointed in the general direction of the hallway adjacent to the living room and I took off.

  When I returned, she was sitting up on the counter, her skirt properly adjusted and her hands folded demurely in her lap, as if I hadn’t just rocked her world. I walked right up to her and kissed her pretty mouth. She sighed and moved to put her arms around me again. But I knew where that would lead.

  “Let’s talk,” I suggested and helped her off the counter.

  We sat on the couch and she tucked her body into mine. We were comfortable as we sat and the silence wasn’t as bad as it had been before.

  When she hadn’t answered my declarations of love, I immediately assumed the worst. But that kiss had broken the tension and it seemed to free her mind. Her love was all I needed in this life.

  “So, can we kick your roommates out or should we just find our own place?” I asked her.

  She turned to look at me, fear in her eyes. “You want to live here?” She sounded incredulous.

  Isn’t that what I’d said just a few minutes ago?

  “Of course. I mean, it doesn’t have to be this apartment, although, let’s be honest—this place is spectacular! I could see us living here for a while. Until we decide to buy a condo or something,” I explained.

  She just stared at me.

  “You want to live here?” she whispered again.

  I nodded. She shook her head.

  “Mallory, it took you leaving me twice to realize I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life without you. My truck is parked downstairs and it’s loaded with all my stuff. I hope some of this furniture is yours because I left everything to Wolfe, who is taking over my apartment lease,” I told her.

  “But…” she trailed off, her eyes closing as she searched for the words. “I just got back from the leasing agent for this place. I took my name off the lease and I have twenty-four hours to get out.” She laughed.

  “So, we’re homeless.” I laughed along with her.

  “Not exactly,” she said slowly. She looked deep into my eyes. “I haven’t sold the house yet.”

  “Your dad’s house? I thought you wanted to live in Boston.”

  I didn’t want her to put her dreams on hold for me.

  “Yeah, well, it turns out I just wanted to figure out if I really belonged here. After the situation today, plus so much more, I think it’s safe to say this isn’t the place for me. But I had to make sure. Even when I got back here, I felt out of place. Casper is home.”

  I was happy to hear her say it, but I still worried about the small-town life not being enough for her. I opened my mouth to voice my fears but she stopped me.

  “It will all work out,” she promised.

  * * * * *

  A few days later, we were back in Casper, living in her childhood home. We’d spent that entire night in Boston talking about our future, and we were both scared to death. But we were in it together. From there, we agreed to trust each other with our true thoughts, no matter what.

  We met our group at The Landing for drinks to celebrate Mallory getting a job at the local bank. She didn’t want all the fuss, but our friends were dying to know everything that went on while we were in Boston. Well, the ladies were. The guys just pounded me on the back and Baker whispered in my ear.

  He smiled. “It all comes back to sex.”

  I laughed aloud as we grabbed our usual table and everyone ordered a drink. I stuck to water and announced I would be the designated driver. Rainey still wouldn’t drink alcohol, but she lifted her glass of cola to toast Mallory’s success.

  “To Mal’s new job as junior bank manager!”

  We all clinked glasses and I met Mallory’s eyes over our glasses.

  She winked at me.

  Broken Dreams

  One

  Rainey

  The plane landed on the runway without a single hiccup. Of course, my hands gripped the armrests like a lifeline and I couldn’t make myself let go until the flight attendant came to check on me long after everyone else was off the plane. My hands shook until I walked through the walkway into the airport; my feet were finally on solid ground.

  That morning, I woke up in my own bed in Los Angeles, took a taxi to LAX, popped a Valium, and boarded my plane. I was lucky enough to find a nonstop flight to Boston, but it had been difficult. I wasn’t much of a flier. The puddle-jumper plane that guided me from Boston to Portland, Maine, was, in my opinion, not even equipped to fly. But the staff assured me it was. On several occasions. So I sat perfectly still for the entire half-hour flight, hands glued to the armrests. The Valium had long ago worn off, which meant I wasn’t as relaxed as I wanted to be.

  It wasn’t that I hated flying. I simply despised flying so much that I would feel safer jumping out of the damn airplane than riding inside it. But it landed. Thank God. I made my way through the terminal and toward baggage claim. My mother claimed she would pick me up, but I wasn’t about to hold my breath. She was the most unreliable woman I’d ever met in my life, and that included my flighty aunt, Brittney.

  I rounded the corner to baggage claim and found my mother’s void eyes staring at me. She waited for me to approach and made no effort to hug me. I nodded to her. She resented me for going to live with my aunt. It wasn’t a decision I’d made lightly, but it still burned that she didn�
�t respect my decision. Of course, there were things about my life she didn’t know, so I couldn’t blame her too much. I’d hidden my real life from so many people.

  I’d only been away from Maine for a week. After spending three weeks in my hometown of Casper, Maine, helping my best friend, Mallory, deal with the death of her father, I’d made the final decision to move back home. Mallory needed support through her grief, and even though she had her boyfriend, Luke, I felt like I should move back, at least for the summer.

  She was my reasoning for moving home, but the truth was so much more complex. But I promised her I would move home for the summer, and I meant to keep my promise. When I’d flown to LA last week, Mallory dropped me at the airport, demanding I not change my mind.

  “There’s no way I’m letting you leave me here all summer to handle Baker,” she protested when I joked about not coming back.

  Baker was just another complication of my life. He took me to my high school prom and was a perfect gentleman, which led me to giving him my virginity at the age of eighteen. That summer, though, his best friend and mine broke up. The breakdown of Luke and Mallory’s relationship had spurred me to ignore anyone who affiliated with Luke. And that included Baker. It was too bad, too, since I’d had a crush on him for nearly all four years of high school. But when couples break up, everyone around them must choose sides.

  “I’ll come back, Mal. It’s only a week so I can figure out what I’m going to ship here and what I’m having Aunt Britt toss out,” I reassured my best friend.

  Mallory was fragile and I knew she was worried about me. Even though I explained how little chance there was of a relapse, she still worried. It made sense. Her father died of cancer just two weeks ago. So, finding out her best friend had leukemia was a shock.

  I didn’t want to tell her. Hell, I didn’t even want to admit it to myself. But she’d begged and pleaded until I confessed. It pissed her off that Gabby, our other best friend, knew before she did. Then again, Gabby knew before anyone. She was the very first person I told two-and-a-half years ago. Plus, Mallory had been dealing with her father’s cancer; she didn’t need to worry about mine. I was in remission. There was no reason to think it would come back, either. I’d been cancer free for five whole months. It didn’t seem like a long time, but every other time the doctors said the leukemia was in remission, it came back within six weeks. Five months was practically a lifetime.