“You love us,” Mallory countered. The band started playing a newer song we all recognized. “We should dance.”
“I’m in,” Rainey agreed.
I dragged my feet, but they eventually got me out on the floor. I had no rhythm at all, but I just tried to follow along as Rainey and Mallory danced around me. They were both excellent dancers, showing off their moves like pros.
When the song ended, I pleaded with them for another drink before we danced anymore and they relented. I downed my Midori back at the table. When I looked up, Mallory and Rainey were both staring, but not at me. Their heads were turned in the direction of the dance floor, both of their jaws gaping open.
I turned to see what they were staring at and my jaw dropped too. In the middle of the dance floor was a girl I vaguely remembered from high school, probably just a year or two older than us. She did the splits amid the crowd, who cheered her on. She looked perfectly comfortable as she spread her legs and dropped to the floor. Just the movement made me cringe.
“How in the hell can she do that?” Mallory asked, turning her attention back to the table.
“I have no idea,” I muttered, still staring at the woman, stunned. “I do know that if I tried that, all anyone would hear would be the huge ripping sound.”
Rainey laughed. “From your pants splitting?”
“No, from my vagina breaking in half.”
They both burst into laughter at my joke, and I made a funny face, slammed back the rest of my Midori Sour, and ordered another.
It was a wonderful memory, one I was glad to have made with my best friends before Rainey was taken.
“I miss her,” Mallory said, bringing me back to the present.
“Me too,” I mumbled.
“So do you want to get Wolfe back?”
“Of course. I just don’t know how,” I explained.
“I think I might have a plan,” Mallory promised. “But it’s going to take a bit of work.”
“I’m so in.”
10
Wolfe
The house was quiet, and although I normally couldn’t stand the silence, I enjoyed it after a day spent making love to the woman of my dreams and then having my heart ripped out by her in a matter of hours. I wasn’t in a good mood. I spent an hour pacing, trying to ignore the six pack of Bud Light in the fridge. Just as I gave in, I heard my Jeep pull into the drive.
I popped the top on one and downed half the contents before I walked to the front door. If I had to see her again, I needed the liquid courage. When I pulled open the door, though, it wasn’t a pretty brunette who could shred my heart. Standing on the porch with a stupid grin on his face was Luke.
“Miss me?” he joked, stepping over the threshold.
I ignored him and went back to the kitchen to finish my beer. I tipped it up and closed my eyes, enjoying its taste and more than ready for its effects. When the bottle was knocked out of my hand, liquid gold poured out of the bottle and all over my T-shirt and chin.
“Dammit, Luke!” I yelled, trying to be surlier than I felt. His burst of laughter had me joining in, unable to stay angry. I needed the laugh. I really needed to get the hell out of dodge, though, if I was honest with myself.
“I take it the day didn’t go as planned?” Luke asked, helping himself to a beer.
“What exactly was the plan, Luke? Did you guys really think this would work?” I countered, pissed that things were so screwy.
“It was Rainey’s idea. She wanted to be able to touch everyone’s lives after she was gone. She and Mallory concocted this idea to get you and Gabby back together. For the record, I didn’t think it was a good idea.”
“Because that makes me feel better,” I muttered.
“Don’t be a dick. They just wanted to do something nice for you guys.” He narrowed his eyes at me.
I took a deep breath. “I know. And honestly, it worked. We spent the whole day together,” I told him. “But then I found the letter Rainey wrote to Gabby and realized the only reason Gabby gave in was because she felt bad for Rainey, and the fact that her best friend couldn’t be with the man she loved anymore, so Gabby just wanted to take advantage of the situation. It was guilt that made her have sex with me again.”
Luke chuckled. “You really think it was guilt? Has Gabby ever done anything she didn’t want to do? Hell, that girl is more stubborn than Mallory. She made her choice, Wolfe.”
No,” I said, shaking my head. “She felt pressured into a choice she didn’t truly want.” I believed that she wanted me, but only because she felt guilty, or depressed, or some other unknown emotion after she read Rainey’s letter.
“You’re wrong,” Luke accused. “You’re just too stupid to see it.”
“I have packing to do. You can let yourself out,” I said to him, pissed off and getting angrier with each passing moment.
“Kicking me out?” Luke grinned.
“He better not be,” Baker announced from the front door. He raised a brow at me. “What’s your problem?”
“Nothing. I have no problems at all in the whole fucking world. Would you both just leave me alone?” I didn’t want to deal with either of them.
“Fuck that. I just lost my wife, Wolfe. I won’t see you go through that same pain, especially when there’s something you can do to stop it.”
I gulped. “Just go.”
I didn’t want to have this conversation; I didn’t want to be guilted into a relationship with Gabby because of someone else’s loss. It wasn’t fair and I didn’t need the stress of it.
“What are you packing?” Luke asked, changing the subject.
“I’m leaving this god-forsaken state and heading home, to Florida. I should have done it last year.”
“You can’t leave,” Baker replied, stepping fully into the kitchen. “If anything, you have a court date next week.”
“I’m aware of my upcoming divorce,” I replied. “I want to pack everything up and ship it back to Florida and then I’ll go down after the divorce is final.”
“That would be a mistake,” Luke announced.
“Fuck off,” I murmured, ready to be rid of both of them. They were getting on my nerves and after the day I had, I was ready to let both of them have it.
“You’re allowed to be angry,” Baker explained.
I lost it. “I’m allowed to be angry? What the fuck is everyone’s problem in this town? You both think that because you got to experience love that everyone else has to, too? Well fuck that. Gabby was right to ask for a divorce, I’m no fucking good for her. Now get the fuck out of my house before I throw you out,” I threatened. It was an empty threat, and they both knew it, but they acquiesced to my demand.
“We’ll talk to you later,” Luke said as he walked out. Baker just shook his head at me, a decidedly disappointed look on his face.
Once the front door closed behind them, I dropped my chin to my chest in defeat. With both hands wrapped around my near-empty beer bottle, I squeezed. I closed my eyes against the sudden rush of emotions.
I always thought, in the back of my mind, that Gabby and I would end up together, that she would get past whatever was holding her back from our relationship. But everything started to clear, to make sense. I was holding on to a woman who didn’t want to be with me. Sure, she changed her mind today, but that wasn’t going to last, I knew. She was probably already planning on how to let me down easy and say that what happened at the inn was a mistake.
And it was.
It was probably the worst mistake I’d made in the last year, even going beyond the fact that I stuck around this past year, anxious to try to make things work. She and I just weren’t meant to be. I couldn’t pretend anymore, couldn’t act like this divorce wasn’t killing me, ripping my soul apart, piece by piece.
As if my thoughts had summoned her, I looked up and saw her staring at me through the glass front door. I stared at her, confused, for a second before I walked over to open the door. I leaned against it and conti
nued to look at her beautiful face. Her sparkling blue eyes were sad, something that cut my heart. I didn’t want to be the reason for her sadness anymore.
“Can I come in?” she asked.
“It’s a free country,” I muttered, turning away from the door. Just looking at her caused me physical pain, and I couldn’t take it anymore.
I heard her sigh as she came through the door, kicking her boots against the doorjamb to shake off the excess snow. I walked back to the kitchen and got another beer.
“Want a beer?” I asked, figuring she would say no.
“Sure.”
I glanced at her and finally noticed how nervous she seemed. She was ringing her hands together, standing only just inside the large kitchen. When she bit her lower lip and closed her eyes, I knew she was nerved up about something.
I handed her a beer. “You okay?”
“Of course,” she spoke quickly. She took a deep breath, which seemed to steady her. “Can we talk?”
“I’m not sure there’s anything left to say,” I told her.
“Well, I have some things to say, if you’ll listen.”
I nodded, gesturing to the small table tucked in the corner of my kitchen. There were only two chairs, which gave it an oddly intimate feeling. I waited.
After what felt like hours, but was probably only a few minutes, she began. “I’m going to tell you about something that happened to me last year, something I kept hidden from you because I was so ashamed of it, so disgusted by it, I thought keeping it to myself was the only way to make it go away. But really, I just wanted to hide it away and pretend it never happened. But I want you to make me a promise before I tell you,” she paused.
“Okay …”
“You have to promise not to interrupt me until I’m finished. It’s going to be hard to get out, so I just want to get through it, and then afterwards, you can say what you want.”
“I can do that,” I told her.
“Okay, good. So, last year, I went to a birthday party for a friend at school. I had too much to drink, which you already knew. What you didn’t know is that …” she trailed off, tears forming in her eyes.
I was worried, my mind flashing an obscene number of things that could have happened at that party. Maybe she cheated on me. I drew a deep breath to calm myself and waited for her to continue.
“That night, I ended up at a frat party with a group of people I didn’t really know, including some less than upstanding guys. One of them cornered me in one of the upstairs bedrooms. He forced himself on me.”
I continued to wait, despite the boiling blood in my veins. Someone touched my wife and she didn’t want him to? I’ll kill him, I thought. But I remained silent.
“I realize now that I should have told you, should have reported it, but I was so ashamed, so worried that you would hate me … I couldn’t do it. And it’s too late now. I don’t even remember what he looked like. The next day, I managed to get home without drawing too much attention and I figured you just brushed it off as a hangover, which it was, but there was more to it. Since that day, I haven’t been able to think about anything sexual with you, because I was so afraid. But today, it was like a light came on, showing me that you were the only one who could overpower and banish the cold feeling that’s been flooding me for the past year. And you did. Because of you, I’m finally able to let the past go, let everything go, including our differences. I want you back in my life, Wolfe. Permanently.”
I swallowed the thickening lump in my throat, knowing how hard it must have been for her to tell me that. For the very first time in my life, I couldn’t speak. Images of Gabby being defiled by some dumbass college kid kept flashing in my mind, rendering me unable to form a coherent thought outside of killing the asshole who did that to her.
“I’m done now, Wolfe. You can talk now.” She gave me a hesitant laugh.
I stood up and tugged on her hands, pulling her up to me. I wrapped my arms around her and held her close. I felt the slight tremble in her arms as she wound them around my neck, burying her face in the crook of my shoulder. I felt her hot tears on my skin and squeezed her tighter. I just wanted her to feel loved, not abused. I needed her to know how much I loved her, no matter what was done to her.
I still couldn’t speak, though. My throat was nearly closed with the clog of emotion I felt. I coughed, desperate to give her some comforting words, to say anything at all, but no words would come. So I just closed my eyes, inhaled the scent of her sweet hair, and held her closer. She seemed to appreciate my lack of conversation and just held on to me, letting me comfort her.
11
Gabby
It had been ten days. Ten long, excruciating days since I revealed my secret to Wolfe. He’d been more than supportive, his touch comforting me to the bone. And at that moment, I released all my guilt, all my worries of being inferior; I let everything go. Wolfe finally spoke, but his words were not what I was expecting.
“I’m leaving town,” he explained, pulling away from me.
I raised a brow at him. “What are you talking about?”
“I need some time to digest everything, Gabby. This past year has been hell on me, and obviously, I realize now it’s been hard for you, too, but I need some space to go over everything.”
All that worrying about what he would say when he found out about the rape, and he was calm and collected, not even hinting at any anger, like he didn’t care. I gulped, swallowing my pride, damning myself for thinking that he might have an inkling of indignation on my behalf.
“Of course,” I said. “Whatever you want.”
His phone rang, an explosive sound in the silent kitchen. He picked it up off the counter to see who it was and then looked at me.
“It’s my sister. I have to take it,” he explained.
I laughed to myself, or maybe at myself, and nodded. He picked up and I turned away, ready to leave.
To my surprise, he stopped me, asking his sister to hold on for a minute. “Gabby,” he addressed me, covering the mic on his phone with his hand. “I’m sorry.”
That was the last time I saw him, too. According to Luke and Mallory, he went home to Florida, something I always assumed he would want to do. Luke told me that he would be back today, for the court date, though. I wasn’t sure how to feel about seeing him. He made no contact with me while he was away, something that had me feeling more than just a bit apprehensive.
Our hearing was at eight, so I woke up early and showered, taking extra care with my hair and makeup. I wanted to make an impression on Wolfe, wanted him to forget about this divorce and come back to me. As I thought it, I realized how pathetic it sounded, but I’d spent the better part of the last year trying to stay as far away from him as I could. Now, with my mind and heart changed for the better, all I could think about was being with him. Forever.
I arrived at the courthouse ten minutes early and searched for Wolfe among the people gathered for their own hearings and court dates. Nowhere among them did I find the silver-fire eyes I longed for. Guess he’s running late, I thought and then stepped forward into the large courtroom, seeking my lawyer. I found her in the corner, quietly chatting with a man I didn’t recognize. I waited nearby while they finished talking and then Sandy approached me.
“Hey, Gabby. That was Wolfe’s lawyer,” she said, gesturing to the man now walking away from us. “Wolfe isn’t here.”
What?! “Doesn’t he have to be here?”
“Yes and no. You’ve both signed the papers, so this is more of a formality. His lawyer told me that Wolfe had a family emergency and wants to deal with this long distance. He wasn’t able to get here in time, so he and his lawyer are asking us to go through with the divorce without him. This could be excellent for you, Gabby. This means you can pretty much get whatever you want out of the divorce.” Her voice rose in her excitement.
“No. We already agreed on the terms. Just do that,” I said, my tone flat. Wolfe didn’t want to be anywhere near me, and so
mehow, I didn’t blame him. I felt worthless, the same way I did last year, and all I wanted was to be free from this nightmare. Maybe this was for the best. Probably.
What if it’s not? A voice in my head nagged at me, forcing me to consider that this might not be the wisest choice, but I shoved it deep into the recesses of my mind, hell bent on giving Wolfe exactly what he wanted.
“Alright, then. Let’s go.” Sandy smiled at me.
An hour later, it was done. Wolfe’s lawyer gave him the emergency letter, or whatever the hell it was, and the judge accepted it after he got my approval to move forward. And just like that, we were divorced.
It was freeing, enlightening, and thoroughly depressing. A failed marriage was hardly something I wanted to experience ever, let alone at twenty-two. Sandy shook my hand and sent me on my way. I should have been happy, should have felt relieved, but the only emotion that stuck was one of loneliness.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Wolfe’s lawyer walking to his car. I flagged him down and forced him to talk to me.
“What was Wolfe’s family emergency?” I asked.
“I’m sorry, ma’am, I’m not at liberty to say. Client confidentiality,” he reminded me.
I gulped. “Of course.” I let him continue on his way while I tried not to feel defeated.
When I got to my car in the far corner of the courthouse lot, I found Mallory waiting for me. She hugged me tight, her grip surprisingly strong for such a skinny girl.
“I’m sorry, Gabby,” she murmured against my ear.
I pulled away. “Don’t be. I’m not,” I lied, knowing the only way to get through this was to pretend it was what I truly wanted.
“You don’t have to keep up the act for me,” she chastised.
“Who’s acting? I couldn’t be happier that I’m a single woman again,” I said, forcing my mouth into a smile.
She gave me a disapproving look, shaking her head. “We’re all here for you.”
I should have been comforted. I wasn’t. “Yeah, thanks.”
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