Falling Away

by Devon Ashley

  “You can’t look at me like that,” he said gently, his face turning sadder. My eyes lifted to his and met that heartfelt sadness dead on. “It makes me want to kiss you.”

  “And you’re waiting for me to make the first move?”

  His eyes were distracted to my lips, as I took my turn to hydrate them, and he looked like he wanted to do that for me as much as I did for him. “I want to make you mine. Really mine this time. So if you don’t see that happening on your end, you can’t be looking at me like that.”

  The intensity I felt radiating off his eyes was overwhelming, suffocating almost, but I welcomed the heavy sensation as a sigh rippled through my body. What was I waiting for exactly? Sure, I lost a guy I loved. But here I had another great guy patiently waiting beside me, waiting to fill the void.

  Okay…maybe not patiently.

  But he was sweet, and loving. And he looked at me like I was his everything. So why was I trying to convince myself to wait awhile before letting him in? We’d been lovers before, and I was as sure as the sky was blue that he’d never be a rebound.

  So to hell with my earlier ramblings on waiting.

  I pushed up and rolled my body back up on my knees. His forehead dipped to the bed, probably thinking I was leaving, indefinitely. I maneuvered my body over his, and lightly sat on his bum as I stretched out over his back, my hands tracing his arms all the way down to his hands, where I threaded my fingers with his. I was right about the tunic fitting him in all the right places. His head turned to the side, giving me perfect access to his neck, which I softly nibbled on when he elongated it. I felt his body weight succumb to the bed, sinking deeper beneath me. He closed his eyes and moaned as my love bites advanced to his ear lobe.

  Speaking softly, I said with all honestly, “Evan, my heart’s not completely healed yet, but I know I want you. And I think being with you can get me there faster, but I don’t wanna put you in that position unless you’re willing. ‘Cause in a way, it means I only have a shared heart to offer right now. But I think I’d be happy if it was yours wholeheartedly. So just tell me. Do you want out until I’m completely healed, or are you willing to take a mildly damaged heart?”

  He quietly debated for a moment, and my breath caught in my throat the moment he spoke. “I want to be the one to heal your heart, Princess.”

  “Then will you kiss me?” I whispered.

  His movement was like a slow-motion viewing of a magician yanking out the cloth beneath a table spread, in which I was now on my back being straddled and he was on top. His lips hovered just out of reach, our eyes doing all the talking, barely visible as the colors on the television dimmed. Still, I could read those eyes. I remembered every tiny glint of gold around the iris that always seemed to twinkle, and the savory shade of green that warmed my heart and seduced me body and soul. And I could see the hunger as much as the love, so much my body let out a tiny whimper.

  His lips finally swept against mine, and a surge of intoxicating numbness rushed my senses head to toe. My tongue slid into his mouth, eager to engage, but he kept our kisses soft and slow. He left my lips too quickly, his scent mind-numbingly delicious, and the deep kisses at the base of my ear made me moan, made my insides explode into a fury of warm tingles.

  Endorphins surged through my system, and it felt so good to give in to Evan’s advances, and by his rapid increase in roughness, he agreed. My hands stroked his back and my legs locked tight around his waist, squeezing our lower halves tightly together, and I felt exactly how stiff my kisses had made him. I wanted him, more than I’d ever wanted him before. But too soon, he pulled back, far enough to lock his arms and brace himself away from me.

  “What?” I said breathlessly, my heart feeling the burn after picking up speed.

  “I already don’t want to stop. You take me any further and I’ll have to stand outside in the cold for a bit.”

  “What makes you think I want you stop?” I asked seductively, biting the corner of my lower lip.

  “Uh…” His chest silently chuckled a few times. “Because you made the last guy wait eight months?”

  “Yeah, I did. But I was a virgin then and scared out of my mind to go there. And only seventeen. That’s not really the case anymore.” Playfully, I commanded, “So get back down here.”

  I hitched myself up on my elbows, trying to reach him, but he still didn’t come my way. A wicked grin slowly formed over whatever thought was running through his head right then. “Well, since the dreams ended up being real for us, then that means you really lost your virginity to me.”

  Not physically, but emotionally it kinda went down that way. “Yeah, sorta. In a weird sense, I guess I did.” If the width of his smile counted as anything, then clearly he loved this revelation. “So if you continue to tease me, I’m truly gonna kill you. So get. Back. Down. Here.”

  Boys must get really turned on when you commanded them to do stuff, ‘cause his face totally changed after I said that. His jaw and facial muscles went taut, and his eyes hardened. He was enjoying himself a moment ago, but now a real hunger took over as he leaned over me, fervently mashing his lips into mine, literally sucking the air from my lungs.

  His hand didn’t hesitate to go up my sweater now that he’d been granted a VIP pass. His entire body locked when it cupped my left breast, the touch of his bare hand against my skin both chilly and arousing, particularly when he pinched. “It’s twenty degrees outside and you’re not wearing a bra?”

  I chuckled wickedly. “Exactly how much warmth do you think a lace bra provides anyway?”

  His hands may have been occupied, but mine weren’t, and I took that moment to yank the softly ribbed tunic up and over his head, followed by the black t-shirt underneath. Yeah, it ended up removing his right hand from a very happy place, but he took the opportunity to remove my top as well, so it worked out better than I had planned. We spent a few seconds admiring the other before rejoining our lips, and then our hands began softly exploring the other’s exposed skin.

  His kisses made their way down my neck, across my collarbone, then trailed delicately along the outside of my breast. All ten of my fingers continually combed and tugged on his locks. His hips began to rock mine, and my belly spasmed, the entire length of my spine arcing and locking in place for several seconds. It was impossible for him not to feel the rise that pushed against him. His mouth may have been busy reacquainting himself with the swell of my breast, but his eyes were free to roll my way, and in that second I knew he felt every eruption quivering throughout my body. I laughed when he asked, “You’re not going there without me, are you?” I was really glad neither of us had to work tomorrow, ‘cause I had no intention of leaving this bed until Monday morning.

  Bleh heh heh. Best. Sex. EVER. By far better than the dream sex.

  I lay there happy, my insides still tingly even though we hadn’t done anything since we went to bed last night. That was the first time in a long time that I spent the entire day in bed, cuddled up with a guy eating take-out, watching random movies on the TV and having sex like ten times in one day. The more times we went at it, the more liberty he took in what he could get away with. And secretly, I kinda preferred the naughtier version that liked to have his way with me.

  Evan was still asleep, and that hot, disheveled appearance he was rockin’ still had me purring inside. I liked seeing him all splayed out on the bed with a peaceful look on his face. His hair was flattened and stuck out random sections, and the way his lips lay naturally pouty had me really wanting to kiss them. The duvet cover creased right below his nicely sculpted pecks, where my finger was gently tracing circles, and the rhythmic rise to his chest amused my gaze for awhile. The smile spreading across my face wouldn’t fade, ‘cause I just couldn’t believe he belonged to me again.

  Unable to resist the temptation anymore, I lay my body lightly atop his. I nibbled at his neck, first gently, then harder as his body began to move beneath mine, his hands tracing up my thighs to grip my hips.


  “If you’re going to wake me up like that every morning, I’ll gladly move you in while you’re at work today.” He grabbed for my butt cheeks and forced my body to rock with his. But before we could get any further, our bodies startled when the door knocked twice. “Shit,” he muttered under his breath, and I began panicking about his parents finding me in here. I seriously doubted this is what they had in mind when they agreed to let him stay above the garage. “What time is it?” he asked, rolling me off his body as he slid out of bed. Thankful for the bulky duvet, I pulled the blanket clear up to my chin. I would’ve covered my head completely and gotten lost under the fluff, but I found myself in awe watching him slip on nothing but his jeans. Surprisingly, he wasn’t worried or in much of a rush as he went to crack the door open, which luckily faced the opposite direction of where I was.

  “You’re late.” The voice belonged to a young girl, and I let out a calming sigh. “Are you taking me or not?”

  “Two minutes. Here,” he added, snatching the keys off the small wall shelf by the door and passing them through the opening. “Start the truck.”

  I hitched myself up on my elbows to admire the view as he sexily sauntered his way back to the bed and climbed above me. Just a light bite and tug to my lower lip set off a rumble down below, and my hand quickly cupped the back of his neck to bring him in for a hard kiss. Obviously, he surrendered to it, but pulled away before it got out of control.

  Grinning stupidly, he pulled out of reach and said, “Hold that thought. I have to drop Maddy off at school first.” I mirrored his grin, my hands stretching up to rest above my head. He walked about the room, pulling a Penn State hoodie from the chest and slipping it on after his socks and sneakers. After yanking his wallet free from the pants he wore to get the Chinese take-out yesterday, he stepped beside me in bed. He kissed me once, pressing our lips together for several seconds, then lingered above me momentarily. Before he rose, he sneaked a peek under the duvet. “Man, I love seeing you in my bed.” He quickly pecked my forehead before heading out into the blistering cold. “I’ll be back in ten.”

  I lay there for several minutes before I realized how wonderful a shower sounded. I glanced at the clock on my way to the bathroom. Eight-twenty-five. I still had plenty of time to spend the morning with Evan before heading back to my place for fresh clothes. Guess that was one perk to closing the store each night. I got to sleep in every morning and take my sweet time doing whatever I wanted. And right now, that something was Evan.

  I had to stand there shivering in the nude a few minutes before the hot water finally pushed through the pipes. I hated cold weather. One of these days I was gonna get smart and move to a warmer climate zone. Some place I actually got to wear a bikini, with warm sand squishing between my toes. And if Evan could follow and wear nothing but swim trunks, even better.

  I hadn’t planned on spending the weekend away from home, let alone Evan’s bed, so I had nothing in my purse to clean up with. Not even a clean change of underwear. I sniffed at Evan’s shampoo and body wash. Sexy and arousing, but no way in hell was I gonna go to work bathed in Evan’s scent. My coworkers would flash me teasing, suggestive looks all day, not to mention the embarrassing commentary that would surely go along with it. So instead, I stood there and allowed the water to flow atop my head and drip down my body. It wasn’t too bad of a shower head, but standing there made me realize how much I missed the rainforest downpour at Sophie’s parents’ house. God, that was awesome, and sadly, made every bath I took since then craptastic.

  I heard the door to the standing shower open behind me, but I didn’t move, awaiting the hand I knew would snake around my waist and the firmness of his body as it pressed against my backside. “I like the way you think,” he said with a husky voice, his breath tickling my ear, his free hand squeezing my breast.

  My head rolled back over his shoulder. “So how long does the hot water last in here?”

  “I don’t know. What’s say we find out?” And with that he snatched my wrists and roughly splayed my chest flush against the wall, biting hard beneath my ear. His deep nibbles continued down my neck, and moans whimpered out of me as my unmentionable area began to spasm.

  Did I say this shower was craptastic? Uh…no. In fact, best one yet.

  “All right. Nine o’clock. Every work night. That’s my time,” Sophie instructed. It was five-thirty and once again I blew her off to deal with customers.

  “Yeah, yeah. Alright. Gotta go, Soph.” I hung up before she could reply and helped an elderly woman find the section for homeopathic remedies. Then I spent the next hour pushing the cart all over the store to return out of place books to their proper spot. I had been grinning like an idiot all day, even though my insides kinda ached. But all the imagery flashing through my mind from the past two days, totally made the pain worth it.

  Evan found me after six. I knew he’d show up, I just assumed it would be at closing time like he mentioned over lunch. I looked to him curiously before he said, “I have to work tonight.”

  “Oh, thank God,” I blurted, relief flooding my senses. Appalled, he shot me a look of uncertainty. “I’m sorry. I just really need to rest tonight.”

  “Oh.” Slyly, he added, “Two nights and you’re already wiped out?” He leaned in and quietly said, “You know, they say sexercise is the best way to get in shape.”

  Oh, my God! Laughter burst from my chest and I cupped both hands over my mouth to contain it, completely dropping the books within my grasp. Did he really just say that? I must’ve delivered the reaction he was seeking, ‘cause Evan was ecstatically amused as he bent to collect my lost books. Playfully, I smacked his shoulder as he rose and pointed a finger at him. “Bad. Not at work.

  “And when I say I need to rest, I mean…” my eyes rolled down to my tummy, “I need to rest.”

  It was like I was strong enough to punch him in the gut and make it count, ‘cause his expression did a complete one-eighty. He quickly glanced around for eavesdroppers before harshly whispering, “Did I hurt you this morning? Was I too rough? Because you–”

  “No!” I interrupted, also whispering with a heated tone. Reassuringly, I repeated, “No,” more gently and I lay my hand over his quickened heart. “Everything we did this weekend was amazing. I think it was just too many times in a short period of time, ya’ know?” His nod was short and pathetic. “Evan, don’t look at me like that. You didn’t do anything I didn’t want done, and you didn’t hurt me. I’m just a little sore, is all.” I kissed him on the lips, not caring if anyone saw, and squeezed his hand tight.

  “Alright,” he muttered.

  Obviously, it wasn’t alright with him, but it was a discussion for later, when we were alone and his ego was in a better state of mind. Needless to say, this conversation didn’t make the rest of my night go any faster, knowing I wouldn’t get to talk to him before tomorrow at the earliest. And I felt bad. Had I’d known he’d react that way, I wouldn’t have said anything.

  Later, I rolled in bed for two hours, and my intestines had more twists than a pretzel factory. I don’t know why it bugged me so much, or why it upset him that much. I couldn’t be the first girl he’d been with that ended up sore after a weekend romp. Could I?

  Crap. Now I was never gonna fall asleep. I threw the covers off and dressed into whatever clothes I had thrown on the floor, and was out the door before my brain even told me what the hell I was doing. There was a payphone by the bus stop half a block from my building and I called a cab that arrived within ten minutes. The dash said twelve-thirty. Thankfully, Evan’s car was in the driveway, so I released the cab and made my way up. I knocked gently – who knew why since I was trying to wake him up. I must’ve been afraid to wake his parents.

  He was groggy when he opened the door in a grey t-shirt and red drawstring pants. “Hey,” I said as he let me in. “Can’t sleep?”

  “Not really. You?”

  “No.” I stripped my jacket off, taking notice for the first time that my lon
g-sleeved shirt was on inside out. At least that mustered a weak chuckle from him.

  “You know, with the messy bed hair and the shirt inside out like that, if my parents were to walk in right now, they’d think we were having sex.”

  I yanked the messy ponytail out and detangled some of my hair. “No wonder the cab driver asked if I was alright.”

  His face hardened as his bum leaned back against the chest for support. “You took a cab here? Jenna, why didn’t you just call me?”

  “Uh…” Duh. Good question. “Guess I forgot I had your number stored on my old phone. Sorry.”

  “Look, I realize we only live in Rutland, but there are still plenty of crazy people out there. Please don’t do that again. Just wake me up. I’ll come for you.”

  Smiling, I placed my hands on his chest and leaned in for a soft kiss, his arms wrapping around me. “Can I sleep here tonight?”

  “Mmm-hmm.”

  “Good. But I want you bare-chested,” I replied with a wink.

  There was that smile I liked to see. “Fine. But if my shirt goes, yours goes.”

  For a split second I was exasperated. That was so not the same thing! But then I realized it was nothing he hadn’t seen already…and then some. “Yeah, alright.” I admired the view once his shirt was removed, and I probably would have realized he was doing the same to me if I had actually paid attention to something other than the muscular sculpture of his abdomen, and the sexy way his pants hung loose around the hips.

  Stripped down to nothing but my boy shorts, I buried myself under the warm duvet and snuggled into his chest, his arms wrapped around me. “Hold me ‘till I fall asleep?”

  “Jenna, I’ll hold you all night long if you want me to.”

  “No, sorry. I’m all for cuddling while I’m awake, but when I sleep, I prefer to have my own space.”