Lake Thirteen

by Greg Herren

  And at the end of summer we were going to go away together once and for all! No one would ever be able to keep us apart.

  I had never believed I could be this happy.

  I came around the corner and there was the little cliff and the roof of the cabin, which always made my heart lift a little bit every time I saw it. And there he was, my love, my true love, the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. He had his back to me, was swinging his ax, and the sun was shining down on his bare back, and I just stood there watching as the muscles moved underneath the skin, and then he stopped and turned and looked up at me, and his face broadened into a huge smile—

  —and it was Marc, my Marc, and my heart lifted and I broke into a smile and I started running down the path, hurrying down the little footpath down to the level clearing, and he was waiting for me at the bottom and I ran into his arms and he put his arms around me and our mouths came together as he lifted me up and swung me around and I loved him so much, so very, very much, that my heart almost was hurting, it was so big and beating so hard against my ribs I could almost feel it and he was whispering in my ear how much he loved me and wanted me and how we were going to be together forever—

  —and a cloud went over the sun and everything got dark, and I sensed it, something was watching us, and whatever it was, it hated…it hated us and wanted to destroy us…

  I sat up in my bed, shivering.

  The clock on the nightstand read 3:10 a.m.

  And I heard it outside, the voice calling, and the heartbreak and pain and the loss, oh God, the loss, was there in the tone of his voice. It made my very soul hurt.

  “Bertie…”

  I wrapped my arms around my legs and shivered, it was so cold, so cold I felt like I might never be warm again. I reached over and turned on the lamp on the bedside table, flooding the room with light, and I blinked until my eyes adjusted. The air conditioner was running, and I got out of bed and ran over to it, hit the button to shut it off, and with a sigh it went off.

  “Bertie…”

  The sadness was so horrible to hear, the voice sounded like a sob, and I could feel it deep inside of my soul, in every part of my brain, every fiber of my very being.

  The voice was calling to me.

  And I wanted to go to it. The sound was pulling at me as I slipped on my shorts and the shirt I’d worn, still shivering in the cold.

  And still, the voice called to me.

  The pain…the pain in that voice was breaking my heart. I had to do something. I had to find the caller and put my arms around him, kiss away his tears, hold him until he realized I was there for good, we were together and would never be separated again, we were meant to be together which was why it hurt so bad…and I choked back my own sob, wiped the tears from my own eyes as I got up and walked to the back door.

  I hesitated with my hand on the knob.

  Maybe I shouldn’t go out there I don’t know who or what is calling me but it’s definitely calling me it needs me and I don’t sense the evil, whatever that was in the dream I felt, whatever it was I felt down at the cabin yesterday morning it can’t harm me because I love him and he loves me and—

  But I was still afraid.

  I opened the back door, and it was pitch-black outside. There was no moon, no stars, no light, other than the yellow light on the back deck, nothing but pure black outside the slight area lit up with the bright yellow light, and I could still hear the voice calling me, from deep inside the woods.

  “Bertie…Bertie…Bertie…”

  Terrified as I was, I knew I couldn’t just stand there listening. I took a deep breath and walked down the steps and could feel the chilly dirt beneath my bare feet and I started walking up the path, and once I stepped out of the circle of yellow light it was indeed dark, so dark I couldn’t see my feet when I looked down, could barely see my hands when I held them in front of my face, it was so damned dark. And the trees were moving in the wind, rustling and seeming to whisper as branches rubbed against each other.

  But I kept walking and my eyes slowly adjusted to the darkness, and I could make out the shapes of trees in the murkiness and kept walking, up the path into the woods, turning right at the fork, heading for the ruined cabin hidden so deep in the woods, away from prying eyes and away from everything and everyone.

  He was waiting for me there.

  “Berrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr-tiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeee.”

  The longing, the aching, the sadness and want and need in the voice broke my heart, and I walked faster, tears forming in my eyes and running down my cheeks, I couldn’t stand it, he sounded so heartbroken and sad and lonely, and I kept going, one foot in front of the other and the woods were silent, completely silent, no birds no nothing and on I went, leaving the safety of my own cabin far behind me, and then I was there, I’d made it.

  I could barely make out the ruined roof.

  And I realized the voice had stopped calling.

  I stood there and felt the fear start at the back of my neck, the goose bumps starting to rise, my skin crawling…There was something else there, not him, not the one I wanted, something that wanted me, wanted to do me harm, that hated me, hated me with such a horrible intensity that it went deep inside my soul, I’d never known that such hatred was possible but clearly it was, it wanted to kill me and destroy me because it thought I didn’t deserve not only to be happy but I didn’t deserve to live, and I could feel the terror I was so terrified but I couldn’t move, my feet had taken root on the spot, I needed to start running, I needed to get out of there, I had to get out of there, something, someone was there that wanted to do me harm, who hated me so much that it was single-minded in its determination to hurt me and punish me and make me suffer it wanted to see me suffer and would laugh at my agonies and would watch as I lay dying at its feet and I was afraid so very afraid and it was there, I could see it, something dark coming down the path from the woods and it was evil and dark and it was coming for me and I opened my mouth to scream—

  *

  “And that’s when I woke up—and it was morning.” I shivered, picking up my coffee cup and taking another big swig. Even now that it was daylight, and I was in the dining room of the lodge, with a plate full of food and my friends gathered around me, I couldn’t shake the horror and terror I’d experienced. It had been so vivid, so real—even more so than the first night. The first dream had been bad enough, but to dream that I’d woken up into another nightmare? “I’m still scared, to be honest,” I said, lowering my voice. “If this is the kind of dream I can expect to have every night I’m here—I don’t know that I want to go bed, you know?” I speared a sausage and popped it into my mouth.

  “You poor thing.” Rachel shook her head, her dark hair bouncing. “You’re sure it was a dream? You didn’t actually go walking in the woods?”

  “Well…” I closed my eyes and thought about it. “No, I’m pretty sure.” I shuddered and speared another sausage. It seemed a little unreal to be sitting in the dining room, eating and talking so calmly about nightmares. I barked out a small little laugh. “I do feel like I’m going to lose my mind a bit, you know?” I tried to find the words to put it properly, to make them understand. I waved my fork with the sausage on the end. “Like this might not be real, like this is going to suddenly turn into something awful and I’m going to wake up all over again.”

  “I can’t even begin to imagine how terrible that must be.” She shivered. “I think we can all agree this is getting worse, not better.” She glanced over at the table where the adults sat, laughing and joking and eating and making plans for the day. “Really, you guys. I don’t think we can keep this from his parents much longer.”

  “She has a point, much as I hate to admit it,” Logan said after swallowing a mouthful of scrambled eggs. “We’re going to have to tell them at some point, and they’re not going to be happy we kept this from them this long. They’re going to be pissed we didn’t come to them right away. You know how they ar
e.”

  Teresa gave him a sour look. “They’ll think we’re all crazy, is what they’ll think—they won’t believe us for a minute, you know. They’ll think we’re making it all up to cover up something else. And they’ll definitely punish us. And I don’t know about you, dear twin, but I don’t enjoy being punished.”

  “Albert is trying to tell us something, that’s the reality,” Carson mused before popping a piece of bacon in his mouth. “There’s something he needs us to know. That’s why he can’t rest, and he has a connection to Scotty. Once we figure out what it is that he’s trying to tell us, then he can rest and we don’t have to worry about any of this—”

  “I don’t think Robert Shelby killed him.” I glanced over at the adults’ table just to reassure myself they couldn’t hear anything we were saying. I took a deep breath. “That’s what I think he’s trying to tell me—that’s why I’m seeing these things, his memories, whatever the hell it is. And I’m not convinced it’s Albert that’s trying to communicate with me. I mean, Albert would hardly be calling himself, would he?” I took a deep breath. It was time to come clean. “And I haven’t been totally honest.” I could feel my face starting to redden. “The guy I’ve been seeing? It’s been Albert. And Albert looks like the guy I’m seeing back home.”

  I looked down at my plate to avoid the four pairs of eyes staring at me.

  Teresa cleared her throat. “Why didn’t you tell us this before?”

  I didn’t look up. “I don’t know. I’m sorry. I guess I thought—I thought you guys might think I was making everything up or would make fun of me or think I was, I don’t know, doing it for attention.”

  Rachel put her hand on top of mine. “Did you really think we’d stop caring about you because you’re gay? Because that’s crazy, Scotty. You’re still Scotty.”

  I didn’t say anything as my eyes welled up with tears. The wall inside of me shattered in that moment, and I hadn’t realized until then how much I’d been holding back with all of them, how much I’d feared they’d reject me and turn their backs on me. Instead I took another sip of my coffee while I tried to get myself together.

  “Of course.” Carson broke the silence finally, slapping his forehead with his hand. “I’m an idiot.”

  “Finally he admits it.” Rachel rolled her eyes. “I’ve been saying it for years.”

  He glowered at her. “We’ve been operating under the assumption that Albert’s not at rest, that he’s been trying to communicate through Scotty all this time. I based that on the fact that Albert was murdered. But the voice is calling him, isn’t it? Why would the voice be calling Albert if Albert was the spirit trying to communicate with us?”

  “Maybe there’s a second ghost?” Teresa suggested.

  “Great.” Logan shook his head. “Like one ghost wasn’t enough?”

  “I don’t know, but I really don’t think Albert or whoever it is means any harm,” I said slowly. “I don’t get that sense from it, you know? All I get is sadness and loneliness. But then it turns, you know? There’s that other…whatever it is, that seems threatening, and I never get that sense from Albert.” I shook my head. “I mean, you’ve heard it. The voice just sounds so pathetic and sad…it just doesn’t seem like it could be threatening.”

  “Maybe it was just a dream, Scotty,” Rachel replied. “And maybe it’s tricking you—luring you out with the sadness so it can get to you.” She shuddered. “Ugh, sorry—what a horrible thought.”

  “We have to consider every possibility,” Carson insisted. “We can’t refuse to consider something because it’s unpleasant. We can’t rule out the possibility that the spirit—whatever and whoever it may be—might just want to take over Scotty’s body.”

  And that pretty much ended the conversation.

  But I knew it wasn’t the case—somehow I just knew that the voice didn’t really mean me any harm. Yes, it frightened me, but not because of a sense of threat, but because it was something from beyond my experience. I was also certain there was something out there threatening me—that sense of terror was so palpable, I couldn’t be making that up—but it wasn’t the voice. I just knew it.

  Just like I knew it was weird that I hadn’t heard from Marc.

  After breakfast we were spending the day at Fort Ticonderoga, so I was hoping to have cell service for most of the day at the very least. I kept hoping Marc would call me while we were at the fort, or at least send me a text.

  But he didn’t. I kept starting to type out one to him at least a thousand times while we were exploring the fort but canceled them all without sending them.

  I couldn’t help but feel something was wrong with him.

  We stopped for dinner on the way back, and darkness was already falling by the time we made it up the side of the mountain, back to the lodge. Even though it was only about ten, I was exhausted and begged off doing anything. “I can walk back by myself,” I protested when my dad offered to drive me back. “And it’s not that far.”

  “You sure you’re okay?” Carson whispered.

  “Seriously,” I replied with a shake of my head. “I’m just tired. I didn’t sleep that great last night, remember?” I lowered my voice. “I’m okay, really. I just want to go to bed.”

  “Okay.”

  “’Night, everyone,” I said and walked to the end of the parking lot and started down the road. I thought about taking the shortcut through the woods, but after that dream I didn’t think I wanted to be in the woods by myself. When I went around the curve and started down the mountain, I moved out of the lodge’s outside light and plunged into utter darkness. The sky was full of clouds, and there was no light, no stars or moon above my head. There was nothing but inky blackness.

  Just like in my dream.

  I froze, unable to walk any farther.

  The night was still, there was no sound anywhere other than the wind in the trees.

  I no longer could hear any voices from the direction of the lodge—everyone must have gone inside.

  I thought about turning around and heading back, pretending like I’d gotten a second wind rather than gotten scared…I couldn’t tell the adults I’d gotten scared because they’d think I was just a baby being afraid of the dark.

  “You’re being stupid,” I said out loud, and my voice sounded loud in the silence, loud enough to be unnerving. “You’re just scaring yourself.”

  Calm down.

  But there is something out there in the woods that wants to hurt me.

  “You’re being ridiculous.” I took another step forward. “You’re just keyed up because you haven’t heard from Marc.”

  Maybe that was the problem, I told myself, forcing myself to start walking again. The road slanted down, and I found myself moving really quickly.

  “Berrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr-tiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeee.”

  The sound surrounded me, like it was coming from every direction, and I stifled a scream. Every hair on my body was standing up, and the Thai food I’d had for dinner was churning in my stomach. Every instinct I had told me to run as fast as I could back to the safety of the lodge, that I was crazy for trying to walk back to my cabin alone, I could always curl up and sleep on the sofa in the game room and who cared if the adults thought I was being a baby or childish or whatever, anything was better than being alone out here on the road in the dark.

  “Berrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr-tiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeee.”

  “Who—who’s there?” I called out, my voice shaking almost as much as I was, repeating over and over to myself that maybe Logan or someone had come out to walk me back, not wanting me to be alone out there with whatever it was, how could I have been so stupid as to come out here alone…

  I heard another sound, different from the voice, coming from the woods to my left. A twig snapped, the sound of a bush being brushed aside as someone—or something—walked past.

  “Hello?”

  I started walking again, my legs shaking so much that my knees almost gave with
every step. I was breathing hard and fast and knew if I didn’t get calm, I was going to hyperventilate. I could hear my heart pounding in my ears. My teeth were chattering, my lips trembling, and my eyes were filling with tears of sheer terror. I kept moving forward and almost sobbed in relief when I saw the yellow light from the back deck of our cabin. I half walked, half ran off the road and across the back lawn to the cabin, shakily putting my key into the lock of the door to my bedroom.

  “Berrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr-tiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeee.”

  Now, in the light, I wasn’t as frightened as I had been in the darkness.

  I closed my eyes and pushed the fear aside, and opened my mind.

  There was a weird feeling of exaltation for just a moment, and then it was like I was being filled up on the inside, my mind was being pushed aside as something else was getting inside of me, inside my head and my mind.

  I fell back against the door and slid down to the deck.

  And the darkness faded…and it was daylight again.

  I got to my feet and walked down the steps to the path. The sun was out, was high, it was close to noon, and I started walking, my underarms sweating. I wasn’t wearing a shirt, it was tossed over my one shoulder, and I was hungry, really hungry, and I wanted to get back to the cabin—

  —I didn’t want to eat with the family up at the lodge, I didn’t feel quite so safe there as I used to or as welcomed, Mrs. Tyler of course hadn’t changed, she was just as friendly and nice as she always was, always doing her best to make me feel like I was a part of the family, but I had some fresh bread there and some chicken in the icebox, I was going to need to get more ice the next time I went down into town, best not to forget or everything would spoil, and I kept walking and I was happy, so I started whistling as I walked, it was a gorgeous day and blessed was I to be alive on such a gorgeous day, I had my health and I was young and strong and lucky, very lucky because I’d found love even if it was the wrong kind of love, the kind of love that had gotten me run out of Boston, but how could love be wrong, love was a sign of favor from God, wasn’t it, and then I came around the curve in the path and he was down there, I could see him chopping wood, his broad strong back muscles flexing and moving as he swung the ax, and my heart swelled with so much love it felt like it could almost burst and then—