by Calinda B
“You sound like a psychologist, Doctor.” He smiles.
“I know a little.” I return the smile. “How’d you guess it was me?”
He looks away. “Uh, someone told me.”
“Who?”
“He made me promise not to tell.”
“Come on, Jonas, who told? That’s a security breach.”
“It was Kaama. He thought I already knew.”
“Geez, Kaama? I’m going to have to have a talk with him.”
“Be nice to him. I kind of tricked him into telling me.”
“Tricked him how?”
“You’ve always kept your new job a secret. I just asked him if he helped you set it up, not knowing what the ‘it’ was, and we got to talking, conversationally, you know, and ka-blam! Out it came.”
“Shit!”
“It was an innocent mistake. He didn’t know I didn’t know. He hadn’t a clue that I’d broken your heart. He said he hasn’t seen you in weeks.”
“No, not for a while. He’s been traveling or something.”
“Well, he’s back now.”
I nod.
“We’re stalling, you know.”
“I know.”
“I’m done stalling. I want you.”
“Good. I want you, too.”
He cradles his hand behind my neck and pulls me toward him into a succulent kiss. It’s like at the Craze only better…much, much better. I’m completely intoxicated by the feel of his mouth against mine. This kiss is years in the making. This kiss has been waiting to happen. This kiss is phenomenal. My insides light up with all kinds of sensation.
Jonas gently breaks apart the kiss. “Wow, V.”
“Wow, J.”
“You’re an amazing kisser.”
“You, too.” I grin at him.
“Head for the bed?”
I stand and take his hand, leading him into my room. Thank goodness I cleaned it. It’s a cheery room, even in the dark of winter. It’s decorated with blues, greens, and gold like the Caribbean Sea. I’ve got a huge window facing the bed. I grab a controller and press a button, then toss the controller back on the dresser. Thick curtains slide into place. Soft light glows from sconces on the wall. A king-size bed covered with velvety softness beckons. This room is bliss. “What day is it? I’ve been so out of it, I barely know the date.”
“It’s Saturday, the tenth of December.”
“Awesome. So if we don’t get it today, we still have time to practice.”
“The orgasm?”
I smile.
Jonas gives me a solemn look. He starts talking fast. “We’ve got a few days. That’s a good start. I plan on taking my time. No need to rush these things. I intend to do everything within my power to succeed at my mission.”
“At our quest, you mean.”
“Exactly. At our quest.”
Nigel follows us into the bedroom. I’m hungry.
Get out.
I said I’m hungry.
And I said get out.
Is this how it’s going to be?
It could be.
So now I’m not man enough for you?
You’re a cat.
Jonas looks over at me, puzzled. “Are you conversing with that cat?”
Nigel glares at Jonas. That cat?
I give him Jonas a sheepish look. “I’m afraid so. One of the perks of being this sensitive.”
“I get to learn all kinds of things about you, don’t I?”
I shrug. “I suppose we both have a thing or two to learn. I’m game if you are.” I saunter in front of my huge, plush urban-modern chair, pivot, and beckon to him to come closer.
“All in.” He slips my shirt from my torso, letting his hands roam and stroke my skin along the way. “One hundred percent,” he adds, unclasping my bra. “I’ve got a lot of making up to do. I take my responsibilities very seriously.” He takes one of my nipples in his mouth and sucks.
I gasp. “Jonas! Oh, God, that’s intense.”
He moves to the other breast. While his mouth works that nipple, his hand massages the other breast, pulling the nipple and kneading my soft skin.
“Oh, geez! Jonas, this is heaven. It’s been a long time since I’ve been with a guy, real time.”
“Mmm,” he moans, in response, working his way back and forth from one breast to the other. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do this.” He proceeds to place a path of tender kisses along my jaw. He navigates to the other side and nibbles my ear lobe. He kisses my temple, my eyelids, my forehead and my nose.
“Wait,” I say breathlessly. “Wait a minute.” I push his head away. “I need to do this my way.”
Jonas looks at me confused. “Okay,” he says cautiously. “What do you need?”
“I need access to your mind.”
“Granted.” He cocks his head. “Not all the time, but in this moment, I’m wide open. A person has a right to privacy and to being willing to share on their own time.”
“Understood.”
He studies me for a moment. “Vienna, why is it so hard for you to let go? There’s more to your story, isn’t there?”
I nod my head, feeling ridiculous, foolish, childish, and stupid. I hate feeling this way.
“Sit.” I gesture to my plush chair.
He sits.
I pull my hair, grab my robe off the floor, shrug it on and start to pace. All these feelings. All this stuff that I’ve stored away. I don’t know where to start, what to say. I don’t want Jonas’s sympathy. I don’t want him to look at me and feel sorry for me. I glance over at him. He’s just sitting there, waiting, appearing as if he has all the time in the world. Can I trust him? I want to trust him. He did screw with that trust. But then he explained. My mind is whirling. My feet are taking me around the room like a restless, caged tiger. Finally, I stop—grab the footstool I’d shoved next to the chair, and perch on it in front of Jonas. “Okay,” I say with resolve.
“Okay.” He smiles encouragingly at me.
His smile is filled with deep warmth. It gives me courage to continue. “Our friendship has always been about honesty, right?”
“Yup,” he says, nodding.
“But I wasn’t honest with you about what I did for a living and you withheld info from me when you ran away.” I smile. “We both made mistakes.”
“We did. And we paid for our mistakes.”
“I’ll say.” I roll my eyes. “Anyway, what’s done is done. What’s important is that we move forward.” My eyes fill with tears. “I’m so glad you’re here, Jonas. I’m so glad you came back.”
“Me, too.” Jonas gets a little teary, too.
I clench and unclench my hands. “Okay, I need to get through this.” I press my palms to my thighs and take a deep breath. “You know my parents were horridly abusive.”
“I do. You’ve never talked about it much, but you’ve said some things.”
“And you know I’ve got this ability to get inside others’ heads and mess with their minds.”
“You’ve told me, yes.”
“I was born with the skill and it served me well as a child. I knew when a beating was coming, probably well before the thought dripped into my parents’ action plan.” My lips tighten. “I knew in advance, whether the belt, a fist, or whatever was handy was to be aimed in my direction.” Jonas really tears up. I can’t look at him. “And that knowledge gave me an edge. It gave me a chance to get out of the way.” Long-buried memories flood my brain. “It was my safety to have access, Jonas.” I bring my eyes to meet his. “And when I learned to manipulate their weak minds, well…” I force back the tears, preventing them from spilling over. “I could make then think that they had already done the deed. I got really, really good at devising torturous forms of punishment for myself. When I screwed with their heads and made them think they had really done the things I had thought up, they were actually proud of their deviousness.” Rage spilled into my gut. “They were proud of what they thought they’d
done to me!” My jaw tightens to keep the disgust from leaking out. “And I had started believing in my torture. It became a game to see how awful I could ‘punish’ myself through their minds.” My eyes narrow and focus on Jonas. I dare him to feel sorry for me.
“I hate to think of you dissing on yourself. Do you still do that?”
“A little. Sometimes. It’s become my fallback plan when I’m stressed.”
“You’re a tough woman, Vienna. That’s one of the things I admire about you. Always have. You were dealt an extremely bad hand in life but you never felt sorry for yourself or whined about it. I admire that, too. I’d love to show you how lovable you are. You’re more than a fighter.”
He reaches for my hands. I stiffen at first but then relax. He isn’t feeling sorry for me—yet.
“Thank you for sharing that. It all makes sense now.”
I frown. “What does?”
“You. Your job. Who you are. It’s just another piece of knowledge about you. It makes me love you even more.”
“Really?”
“Really. You’re safe with me. I promise you. Your secrets are safe, your life is safe, your shared memories are safe, your heart is safe.”
My breath comes in shallow, panicked little waves. Is he for real? Can I do this? Can I let him in? I smile, realizing I already did. “Thank you.”
“For what?” He strokes my hands with his thumbs.
“For not feeling sorry for me.”
“You’d deck me if I did.” He grins.
“Bat you upside the head,” I say playfully.
“For starters!” He sobers. “You’ve shared more with me lately than Jenner ever did. She never trusted me.”
“She never loved you the way I do.” I incline my head, looking at him through my lashes.
“No, she never did.” He pulls me into his lap. “Are you done? Ready to proceed?”
I nod, shyly.
“Still need total access? You’re going to have to trust me sooner or later, but I’m willing to bare all until we’ve laid a solid foundation of trust between us.”
“We already have. I know what’s in your heart.”
“And what would that be?” He gives me a playful smile.
“That you adore me.” I trace his cheek with my fingertip.
“Is that right?” He grabs my fingertip and presses it to his soft mouth.
“Mm hmm. And you respect me.” I push the fingers of my right hand into his silky hair.
“Mm hmm.” He draws my finger into his mouth and sucks on it.
“And you don’t feel sorry for me.” I slide my finger out.
“Empathy is one thing. Pity is another.” He grimaces. “You don’t deserve pity.” He nibbles at my jaw line.
I tip my head back, inviting exploration from his succulent lips. “And you desire me.”
“You have no idea,” he says. “But I intend to show you.”
“Good,” I said. “I’m ready.”
“Just the words I’ve been waiting for.”
Chapter Nineteen
“Himeros had a pretty large cock, I recall.” I say, unzipping Jonas’s pants. We’ve made our way from the chair, next to the huge, roomy bed, kissing each other hungrily. Jonas ripped off most of my clothes, managing to leave me in my panties and my ankle high boots. Jonas still has his pants on. I’ll take care of that in a minute. He’s wearing no shoes. There’s something about a man’s bare feet that is sexy, sexy, sexy. His chest is bare, revealing broad shoulders, chiseled abs and pecs, a slim waist. There’s the trail of hair that leads my eyes down to his…mmm. A whole lot of skin and eye candy from the waist up. A whole lot of anticipation from the waist down. Mercy me, that man is fine. I’m giddy with excitement.
“He did indeed.” Jonas runs his teeth lightly up and down the side of my neck, making little whirls of sensation course up and down my spine. “I was going for drool-worthy.”
“Most do. But many avatars are just wish lists for the man behind the fantasy.”
“I see,” he says, sweeping his warm palms up and down my back and sides. “You probably need some proof that I am what I am.” His hands glide around to my breasts and cup them both, massaging around and around, fingering my nipples into tight rosebuds of need.
I groan. His touch is amazing. “I do,” I say, pushing his pants down. “The bulge in your pants is pretty darn big, but I need to see it in the flesh.”
“Visual proof. This could be an optical illusion,” he says, flicking his eyes down.
“You never know. People can be full of tricks.” I slide my hands inside his waistband and stroke his butt. “Oh, man, J. Smooth and hard.” I give each cheek a squeeze. “And muscular.” I slip his boxers and jeans down along his hips and gasp. “Oh, my! You…you’re bigger than Himeros! You were just made for love,” I add appreciatively. “I’ve never seen a cock more beautiful.”
“Aw, you’re just saying that.” He grins at me.
“No, I’m not! What a beauty!” I reach my hand out to touch the length and girth of him. The head is large and kitten-fur soft. I trace one of the veins, engorged and pulsing with life. Positioning myself at his side, I cup the palm of my hand under his balls, fingering the heat. I bring the other hand to my mouth and suck on it, covering it with my slippery spit. Then I slide my fingers up and down between his cheeks along the opening. I let my fingers glide along his tight sphincter, between his legs to his scrotum and back the other way, gently massaging and exploring as I go. My other hand wraps around his cock, lightly stroking.
Jonas sucks in air through his teeth. His cock twitches. “Careful, V. It’s been a long time since I had satisfying sex. I want to make this last.”
“Oh, no. We are not having mere satisfying sex. I intend on full-blown sky-rocket love-making—hours and hours of it.”
An easy laugh rolls off his tongue. “That’s supposed to be my line.”
“I beat you to it. You know, mad mind-reading skills and all that.”
“That and an all-access, backstage pass to my mind.” He gives me a wicked, challenging grin. “You wouldn’t be in here unless I granted access.”
“Duly noted,” I say. I reposition myself in front of him and crouch, taking his cock in both my hands and licking it like a big, delicious lollypop.
He wraps his palms around my head and makes firm circles along my scalp with his fingers.
I take him as far into my mouth as I can, letting my tongue caress his length in lazy, sensuous swirls, tightening and releasing my throat muscles around his girth.
His fingers tighten, pulling locks of hair. “God, V.” He shudders. “Oh, sweet Jesus, this is intense. Jenner would never do this.”
“Who’s Jenner? I don’t see a Jenner in here, do you?”
“No, ma’am. There’s only one gorgeous goddess, known as Vienna.” His hips rock gently as he thrusts into my mouth. “And that’s exactly how I want it to be.”
His excitement is making me wet. My pussy throbs with need. My hands roam his muscular legs, delighting in the textures of brown hair and warm, smooth skin.
“Stop. You’re going to make me come. Hold up.”
I release him and tip my head to gaze up at him. “Is there a problem, sir?”
“No problem, not at all. I’m just not ready to lose my excitement. Come up here.” He urges me up to standing. “I want to see what you’re rocking under these panties of yours.” His hands glide along my hips, stretching the delicate, satiny undies away from my skin. “Just touching you like this…do you know how often I fantasized about this?”
I laugh. “A fair bit, I’m guessing?”
“All the time. It was torture being around you.” He guides my panties from my hips, slowly, taking his time as his hands make their leisurely way down my legs. He’s crouching now, his nose inches away from my pussy.
I’m trembling. I’m scared. I’m excited. I’m turned on. Boy, oh boy, am I turned on.
“Sit,” he says.
/> I sit. More like collapse onto the bed. I don’t think my legs can hold me upright.
“Let’s leave these boots on. I like this look. Sexy as hell.” His eyes roam my body. His delight in what he sees is evident. “You are so goddamned beautiful. I intend to show you, over and over again, how beautiful you are.” He pushes apart my legs with his hands.
Tremors of energy rattle through me. My teeth begin to chatter.
Jonas cocks his head and regards me.
“Th-th-this is so intense, Jonas. C-c-can’t stop it.”
He continues to study me for a moment and then crawls up next to me. “Easy, girl. Let’s just take our time and let you get used to all this love flowing between us. Sound good?”
He’s talking low and sweet like he’s gentling a colt but I don’t care. I need a little gentling right now. All this energy is freaking me out. His hands caress and knead with gentle persistence. They move along my belly. They stroke my neck, my chin, my forehead. They trace trails on my shoulders, my arms, and my hands. The violent waves threatening to overtake me become soaring ecstasy. “Oh, my. Oh, my God! Oh, Jonas! I’m in heaven!”
“You’re only at heaven’s gate, kitten. I’m going to usher you into the Temple of Passionate Love.”
His lips find mine and he nibbles and gently bites, before claiming my mouth. His tongue pushes inside, coiling with mine. We moan into one another’s mouths. He breaks from the kiss, kisses every square inch of my face, making me laugh with delight. He proceeds to my breasts. He pushes them together and slides his hungry mouth from one nipple to the other. His engorged cock presses against my thigh.
He works his way down my torso, taking his time, nuzzling my belly along the way. He murmurs words of love and adoration. He stops when he’s poised between my legs. “Look at me, Vienna.”
I cease my sensuous writhing and gaze at his openness.
“Feel safe?”
I nod.
“Feel ready?”
I nod again.
“Okay. I’m going to take my time here. You guide me, okay? You tell me what feels good, what doesn’t.”
“Got it, coach.” I grin at him.