The Grunt

by Nelson, Latrivia S.

  “Have a great day,” she said, closing her textbook.

  “You too,” he said, stopping at the door. “If you need anything, you can call me on my cell.”

  “I’ll be fine,” she said with a smile.

  ***

  The Naval Hospital was packed by noon. With Cameron in his stroller, Courtney strode into the pediatric center with a backpack full of pull-ups, baby wipes, lunch and water and checked in at the front desk. She noticed a few stares as she did so. Black woman. White kid. Who said racism was dead? Smirking, she pulled Cameron out of the stroller and pointed him toward the play center.

  “Go play, baby,” she said lovingly as she kissed the top of his head.

  Unaware of his surroundings, he ran over to play with the other kids while she waited for their name to be called.

  The other women sitting in the waiting room - both black and white - spied her as she flipped through her book. Cameron was a brunette boy with fair skin, brown eyes and rosy cheeks. Courtney was in contrast dark-skinned. It was a curious sight, she knew. Yet, she became quickly agitated. Closing her book finally, she crossed her legs and looked over at the women across from her.

  “It’s not nice to stare, or didn’t they teach you girls that at charm school?” she snarled.

  The women quickly looked away, making Courtney laugh aloud.

  ***

  Shots of any kind were never good for children. Holding Cameron tight, she tried to keep his attention while the nurse pulled out the needle. Only Cameron had suffered through shots before and knew what to expect. He immediately began to cry loud, screaming for his mom. The sight hurt Courtney to her heart.

  Holding him close to her bosom, she felt him flex his muscles tight and cry out. She wondered how much screaming was due to the pain of the shot versus the pain of his mother’s absence. Who would do this to a kid? What kind of woman would run off and leave her only child? Serves the bitch right to be dead, she thought to herself as she comforted Cameron.

  “There, there now. You have to get your shots, baby. You want to go to school and play don’t you?” she asked, kissing away his tears.

  “I want my mommy,” Cameron cried. “Where is my mommy?”

  Courtney didn’t answer. The nurse looked at them with a quiet nod. Word had gotten around about what had happened to Amy. Only, they did not know the specifics. So, it looked like either Brett had gotten help for a while, or he had already moved on.

  Taking the paperwork from his physical and placing it in the baby bag, she put him in the stroller and gave him a Popsicle.

  “You can take that form with you to the base pre-school and get him registered,” the nurse said to Courtney with a gentle smile. “But you’ll need Staff Sergeant Black to be present.”

  “Oh, he gave me power of attorney. I’m good,” Courtney said, pushing Cameron out of the room.

  The nurse looked flabbergasted. Power of Attorney? Evidently, the Staff Sergeant had moved on.

  Breaking out of the hospital in the heat of mid-day headed towards the truck, Courtney pulled her ball cap down on her head and tugged on her ponytail. Even though Cameron wasn’t her child, she suddenly felt horrid for him and for Brett. But what more could she do than what she was doing?

  Brett had asked her to get Cameron into pre-school for three days a week to help him learn to deal with his loss and to keep him from becoming anti-social. The therapist had made that recommendation after their first session, which had also been their last. Brett had told Courtney that the only good thing that had come out of the session was that suggestion and nothing more. He had even referred to the female doctor as a meddler.

  Courtney chuckled. Men were pigs. Still, here she was with this child who definitely had suffered through the loss of his mother and was now missing the loving kisses and touches of two parents. There had to be something to cheer him up. Getting an idea, she snapped her fingers.

  “Hey, do you like water?” she asked as she put Cameron in the truck.

  “Yes,” he answered with teary eyes.

  “Wanna go to the beach?” she asked.

  He shook his head with a bright smile. “Can I make a castle?”

  “You can make whatever you want to make. Just let me get you enrolled in this little school for super cool kids and then we can go to the beach and hang out for a while. Does that sound good?”

  “Yes,” Cameron said, sniffling. But at least she had gotten a smile out of him.

  “Great.” Courtney closed the door and leaned against it.

  Poor little guy. She couldn’t imagine what he was feeling. She had never lost anyone before. Her grampies were even still alive for goodness sake and they were ancient. Yet here was Cameron, just a little child, and he had lost one of the most important people in his life.

  It was tragic and uncalled for. It made her think of her own mother and how kind Diane had been her entire life. There wasn’t a single memory in her childhood that didn’t include her mother in some kind of way. She was always there, always protecting her and guiding her, especially when her father was away. It was strange how something tragic had to happen to someone else for her to see how blessed she had been. It made her want to call her mother right then and thank her.

  ***

  At exactly four thirty, Brett was finished with work and was now utterly exhausted. After a five-mile run and two hours at the shooting range along with operational training, all he wanted to do was take a shower, have a beer and relax.

  Returning back to work had actually not been too bad. For one, he didn’t run into the colonel. Secondly, he actually enjoyed not spending his day coordinating funerals and taking care of Cameron. He was a grunt, made for the field. And the time away only confirmed it.

  Throwing his backpack in his truck, he loaded up and headed towards the house. Normally, he would have stopped and had a drink with Joe, but today, he decided against it. It could have been just the fact that Courtney had brought it up that morning, which was very awkward. Or it could have been that he really wanted to see her. But whatever it was, today was the first day in a while he had felt like going home.

  ***

  Courtney had just finished fixing dinner. As she placed the salmon and avocados down on the table by the red peppers, rice pilaf and wine, she heard the front door close shut. As soon as he heard him, Cameron jumped down from the table and met Brett at the door with a big hug.

  “What’s up, big guy?” Brett said, rubbing his back.

  “We went to the beach,” Cameron announced.

  “I can see that. You got quite a tan,” Brett said, rubbing the top of his head.

  “And we went and saw Courtney’s mom. She’s really nice, and she fixed me muffins. But she wouldn’t fix me cereal.”

  Brett stopped. His son was at the colonel’s house today? Sighing, he debated whether or not to speak about the matter. On the one hand, it gave Cameron more interaction with people. On the other hand, it broke down the barriers between his house and his commanding officer, which could potentially be a problem down the line.

  “Hi,” Courtney said, walking out of the kitchen.

  “Hi,” Brett said, forgetting his train of thought. She looked amazing in her jeans and V-neck T-shirt that showed off her ample cleavage. With a smile, she removed the mitten from her hand. “How was work?” Her hazel eyes beamed at him.

  “It was good…to be back,” he said with a smirk. There was no way he was going to mess up the evening by arguing over Courtney’s mother. “You cooked again?” he asked, smelling the food.

  “I figured that you’d be hungry,” she said as Cameron walked over to her. “Hope you don’t mind.”

  “I don’t,” he said, dropping his bag. He could get used to this real quick.

  “Great. Dinner will be ready in about five minutes.” She turned back around and headed back into the kitchen.

  “I’ll go wash up,” Brett said quickly.

  ***

  The hot water felt good
against his skin. Leaning against the tile, Brett rested his head down in the stream and let it run down his back. Steam fogged up the bathroom and created a haze around him. Relaxed, he washed his hair and released the tension from his body.

  He could let his guard down finally. It was a force of habit to be rigid – something he tried hard to leave at work but sometimes failed to do. At the base, his guard had to be up. He had to pay very close attention to detail, focus, train hard and worry about his squad.

  Recon was not an easy job. It required extreme discipline, die-hard dedication and the ability to go numb when necessary.

  The problem was remembering when to turn the grunt on and when to turn him off. Often Brett felt like he was in limbo, hanging somewhere in between the two men he was forced to be on a daily basis. With Amy, it was even harder to handle. While she had never been diagnosed with bi-polar disorder, she had all the symptoms with her manic highs and lows that went on for days at a time. The combination of his profession and her impatience made for a bad marriage all around.

  But Brett couldn’t think about that now. There was food waiting for him downstairs, prepared by a beautiful woman who was taking good care of his son. He didn’t have to argue about money or bills or men. He didn’t have to have his guard up, and he didn’t have to be someone else.

  Five minutes later, Brett was sitting at the table with Cameron and Courtney laughing so hard until his eyes were watering. Evidently, she had taken Cameron out to catch a few waves and during the process, he had lost his trunks. As Courtney retold the event, Cameron turned bright red and couldn’t stop blushing. But he was also not deterred. He liked the beach and swimming off shore so much until he wanted to go back tomorrow.

  “Oh, that reminds me,” Courtney said, going to her backpack. “We went and had our shots today.”

  Cameron frowned at the mention of it. “It hurt really bad, daddy,” he whispered to his father.

  Coming back to the table, Courtney passed Brett the paper. “I filled out the forms for pre-school and got him registered, but I wanted you to look over it and make sure that I listed everything correctly, especially emergency contact information outside of myself.”

  “Thanks,” Brett said, taking the paperwork. Licking his fingers, he looked up and caught Courtney giving him an admonishing glare about his bad table manners. “Give me a break,” he said playfully as he flipped through the papers. “Everything looks fine with the exception of the blood type. It says AB negative. This is wrong - impossible actually because I’m O positive and so was Amy.” He looked at Cameron as he made the accidental slip up of mentioning her name.

  “Oh, sorry. I took it from his physical. They have it listed on his paperwork,” Courtney said, putting more salmon on Brett’s plate.

  “What?” Brett turned to Cameron’s physical paperwork and read it carefully. “Well, this can’t be right,” he said under his breath.

  “What? Did I do something wrong?” Courtney asked as she poured Cameron some more juice.

  “No.” Brett frowned and stood up from the table. This had been the first time in Cameron’s short life that someone other than Amy had taken him to the doctor. She was always adamant about doing so alone. With the paperwork still in his hand, he headed out of the kitchen. “I’ll be right back,” he said in a daze.

  Courtney looked over at Cameron and raised her brow, but did not give much thought to him stepping away. Maybe the food was messing with his stomach. She had made a spicy pineapple chutney topping to go with dinner.

  Brett went to their cabinet in the den and dug through Cameron’s files. Pulling the physical from his 12-month checkup, he looked at the blood type. AB Negative. Going to his birth records, he thumbed through the paperwork to find his blood type. AB Negative.

  “How could I be so fucking stupid?!” Brett screamed as he stood up. Kicking the desk, the chair fell over, and he had to yank his foot out of the drywall. Courtney heard his outburst and looked down at Cameron, who immediately tried to get up and run to him.

  “No,” Courtney said, grabbing Cameron by his little arm.

  “But what’s wrong with daddy?” Cameron asked alarmed. He looked back towards the door, trying to pry away.

  Courtney recalled their conversation and suddenly it hit her. “Oh my God,” she said, putting her hand to her mouth. Looking over at the boy, she rubbed through his hair and tried to smile. “Are you finished eating?”

  “Yes,” Cameron answered.

  “Good. I’m going to take you up to your room and get you ready for bed. It’s late now.”

  “But I want to say goodnight to Daddy,” Cameron pleaded.

  “Your father needs a minute,” Courtney said with a heave. Picking him up in her loving embrace to ensure he didn’t run into the den and see his father mourning another unveiled truth, she passed by the room quickly.

  Chapter Eight

  After his bath, Courtney stayed with Cameron until he fell asleep. Then, when she was certain that he wouldn’t get up again, she headed downstairs. Normally, something in her told her what to do, how to soothe a person when they were overwhelmed, but this time, considering Brett’s already misfortunate situation, she was speechless.

  Inching past the door, she looked in the den and saw him standing at the window looking out at the moon.

  “Brett,” she said in a near whisper.

  He turned around slowly, his eyes swollen from tears. “I’m embarrassed that you have to see me like this,” he said, shaking his head.

  Courtney went inside and closed the door. “You don’t have to be embarrassed in front of me.”

  “I just don’t know how I could be so stupid. I mean, how could I not see this when it was right in front of my face? I always thought he looked more like her than me, but I never thought that he wasn’t mine.” Tears ran down his face again.

  “He is yours,” Courtney said, walking up to him. Carefully, she put her hands on his back. “You’re the only thing that he’s ever known, and you’re the only one that he’s got.”

  Brett swallowed hard. “What was so wrong with me that she couldn’t just love me?” he asked angrily as he turned and looked at her. His icy blue eyes burned through to her core.

  Courtney’s heart broke for him. “Some people never love anyone but themselves. It’s not your fault. You tried to be a good husband and a good father.” She took his large hand and threaded it through her own. “Come sit down. And I’ll go and fix you some tea. It will calm you down and allow you to rest. You have to get up early in the morning and it’s getting late.”

  With a blank stare, he followed her to the sofa and sat down. Courtney looked around the room and bit her lip. While the place was nice for sitting and reading or watching television, it was not a bedroom. And in the state that he was in, he really needed to rest comfortably.

  “Why don’t you sleep in the guest room or in my room, and I’ll sleep down here tonight. It may help with your nightmares,” she pleaded.

  Brett wiped his face and pinched the bridge of his nose. A major headache was looming. “I’ll be fine,” he said, closing his eyes.

  “Are you sure?” she asked concerned.

  He shook his head. “Yeah.”

  She couldn’t help but think back to his previous statement. His life was a comedy of errors. But why? He was strong, dependable, brave…and misfortunate.

  “I’ll be right back. I’m going to fix your tea,” she said unsure if she should leave him alone.

  Brett was too consumed by his thoughts to hear her. With dried tears staining his face, he sat on the end of the sofa staring at the television.

  Courtney rushed into the kitchen and quickly put on a kettle. Within minutes, she had fixed him a warm cup of tea and returned to his side.

  Kneeling in front of him, she passed him the little white tea cup and brushed a hand over his face. Their gazes locked as her thumb stroked over his flesh.

  Brett took the cup thankfully and set it beside him. To
o shook up to say a word, he sat brooding and looking at the ground.

  Courtney took the remote and turned off the television, then rose up from her position. Smoothing her hands over her jeans, she looked over at the door.

  “I’ll just leave you here to…think,” she said, looking at the crown of his head. “I’m so sorry, Brett.” She was lost. What more could she do for him?

  Brett slowly looked up at her and nodded. “Thanks,” he said solemnly. “I appreciate it.” His voice was hard now.

  Courtney smiled, then turned and walked out of the door, turning off the light as she left.