“Yes, well. This is not your fault. This… things happen. That’s what my new therapist says.”
A glimmer of hope sprang on her. “Oh, you’re going to a therapist then?”
“A shrink if you want to know the whole truth. My doctor suggested it because… Well, I have not been feeling myself recently. I went in to see if there was something they could give me. High blood pressure medicine, or low blood pressure medicine, or something. But the doctor said it’s stress. He sees this a lot with… older women… who are going through a divorce. So he said I should look into going to a therapist, and I have. I am. Not that I think it will help, but… There it is. Your mother is a head case, as you clearly have always known.”
“You’re not a head case, Mom. This whole thing threw all of us for a loop.”
“Yes, well. In other news, we have an offer for the house.”
“What? That’s wonderful.”
“Wonderful for you maybe. They want to close on it by the middle of April.”
Dani had no clue what to say to that. She was thrilled, but clearly her mother was not. After only a second, she realized why. “And what are you going to do… when it sells?”
“Oh, me? You’re concerned about me?”
“Of course I am, Mom. I’m very concerned about you. We all are.”
“We all… how nice. Your father isn’t. Your father is now married to the woman of his dreams. How nice for him. And you and Mitchell, you’re all grown with your own lives, your own families, your own… jobs. And I am left with no skills and no real way to support myself. Why? Because your father thought it best that I stay home. Your father made plenty of money, so why should I worry my silly little head and try to get an education? It would have been difficult you know? Back then. It would have been difficult, so I didn’t do it. I found a man who could take care of me, and I married him. And now look at me. I am 62-years-old and no use to anybody.”
The words dragged her spirit down and then down farther until they were practically scraping on the ground. “That’s not true, Mom. It’s not. We love you. We need you.” Then she remembered Eric’s words from the night at the table. “We’ll get through this. I promise you.”
“Huh.” Sarcasm dripped from the syllable. “I’ve given up on anyone keeping their promises.”
Eric couldn’t help but notice the upgrades in his grandmother-in-law’s house when they were welcomed inside. The siding on the outside as well as the fence could use some work, but inside, it was like stepping into a totally different world. It wasn’t overly dramatic just tasteful and cozy.
“I’m so glad you two decided to join me,” Ms. P, or Ms. Patty Ann, or Patrice as he had learned her name was from Luke after the services, said. She was Dani’s grandmother, so no real blood relation to him. That might have accounted for the awkwardness. “Please, come on in.”
Concentrating on anything was impossible, and the headache wasn’t helping. At six her time, Dani considered calling Eric, but a quick calculation of time, and she knew he was either eating lunch with the others or heading out to Attabury. The last thing he needed was to be worrying about her. Still, she couldn’t shake the awful feelings or the sadness twining down into the deepest parts of her. What was she going to do about her mother? I’ve given up on anyone keeping their promises.
As much as she hated to admit it, Dani was one small shove away from joining her mom in that boat.
“I got these out ‘specially for you, Ms. Jaden,” Ms. P said, putting a tin can full of broken crayons on the little rug in the living room. “I’ve been told the broken ones still color just like they used to, but you can see if that’s true or not.”
Jaden’s eyes widened at the sight of the possibilities contained in that can. A moment and she looked up at them. “Is there a coloring book?”
Ms. P grinned. “That there is, child. That there is. Let me just go dig one out of the back closet.”
When she left, Eric stood close to Jaden, fighting to gather in his misgivings about this little jaunt.
“Here you go,” Ms. P said, coming back with a handful of ratty old coloring books, half of which already had been colored years before. “Sorry I don’t have any new ones. I don’t get many artists coming through here.”
“That’s okay.” Jaden reached out and accepted them. “Thank you.”
“You’re most welcome.” Transfer made, she looked up at Eric. “Would you mind helping me a mite in the kitchen. This ol’ body doesn’t work like it used to.”
“Certainly.” He followed her that direction but stopped in shock and awe when he saw the kitchen. “Wow.” Knowing he shouldn’t express his surprise, he tried to claw it back. “I mean…”
However, before he got whatever Plan B was out, she laughed a hearty laugh. “No need to soften the surprise. It is wonderful, isn’t it?”
“It… is.” He stepped into the kitchen which was practically singing with light in the sunshine. “If you don’t mind my asking…”
She grinned and shook her head. “It was them friends of yours. Luke Baker and the rest of the bunch. They came in and redone my kitchen after the hurricane. It was supposed to be just them back windows that got blown out, but somehow I got talked into doing a whole house makeover.”
“They can be persuasive when they want to be.”
She laughed again. “That they can.” With a swipe of her oven door, she checked the casserole. “I think that needs a few more minutes.”
“No problem. Can I help you set the table?”
“Well, that would be right nice of you.” Opening the cabinet, she took out three plates, and they set about putting the table in order for lunch.
Awkward began to fall away from Eric’s consciousness, and questions he’d been accumulating took its place. “Do you mind if I ask you something?”
“Ask away. I might as well be useful for something.”
“I’m sure you’re useful for a lot of things,” he said gently, and then had to take a breath before he got the courage to ask. “You knew Mr. and Mrs. Attabury, I presume. Did you not?”
“Somewhat. I knew the things my mama said about them.”
“What were they like? I assume by the house that they were wealthy.”
“Yes,” she said, “they were that, in terms of money anyway. Land mostly. I think back in the day, the Attaburys owned most of this county, and at one time quite a few of the people around here as well.”
He nodded gravely. “Slaves.”
“Yes, sir. They was slave owners years and years back. In fact, I think Old Mr. Attabury, Mr. Attabury’s dad might’ve even fought in the war.”
“World War One?”
She laughed in that jolly way she had. “No, son. The Civil one, or unCivil one it seems to me. Him and his two brothers. Fought on the Confederate side, or so my mama always said. He was the only one who come back from it. Must’ve busted his folks up something awful. I think his mama kind of lost her mind. But when Old Mr. Attabury came back, he bought up land like they was a fire-sale, married a gal from… was it Tennessee or Georgia? One of them places. She was a piece of work, least when I knew her. All ordering everybody around all the time, real disagreeable woman if you want to know the whole truth.”
Eric absorbed that. “And they all lived out there, at the Attabury place?”
“Yes, sir. ‘Til the day she was killed in an automobile accident.” Ms. P shook her head. “I don’t remember it, mind you, but I heard my Mama and Papa talking about it more than once. Don’t really know the details of what happened, just that Mr. Attabury, the son, was much affected after his Mama passed away.”
“So your mother knew Mr. Attabury then?”
“Oh, that she did. Worked out there for many years, right alongside their other servants. She told me once that it was the only job she ever had, got it when she was 17 because nobody else wanted anything to do with the Attaburys.”
“Oh? Why’s that?”
Ms. P checked him with a grave loo
k. “People around in these parts has long memories. A slave owner’s family wasn’t something you wanted to be after there weren’t no more slaves. They had all that wealth, all that land, and yet they’d sold their souls to get it and to hold onto it.” She stopped and scratched her face. “Now I’m not one to talk out of school, but I’m not sure all of Mr. Attabury’s dealings were always on the up-and-up. He had quite the reputation in these parts, and not in a good way.”
The story was fascinating. “Really? Like what?”
“Well, like bootlegging in the 20’s and 30’s for one thing.”
“He made moonshine?”
“Don’t think he made it. I think he ran it.”
“So that explains…” Eric stopped, took a breath, and nodded. “What else?”
Her gaze said she wanted to ask, but she didn’t. “Well, he was a tightwad best I can remember. I’m not sure my Mama ever got half of what she was owed by them.”
“Then why would she stay?”
Ms. P’s countenance softened. “She always said she couldn’t go off and leave Mrs. Attabury, the younger one. It would’ve killed her, so she said, and she couldn’t live with herself if she’d have caused that.”
After lunch was over, Eric knew he should be getting on to help Caleb at Attabury, but instead, he chose to help with the dishes. It wouldn’t take long. “So your mom stayed at the Attabury’s out of guilt then?” He knew he should let it go, but he just couldn’t. He needed to know.
“No.” Ms. P shook her head and smiled softly. “I think she more stayed out of love.”
“Love?” he asked. “How can you even say that? She worked for a skunk.”
“She used to tell me that God teaches folks through the mistakes we make if we ever get humble enough and let Him.”
“Did Mr. Attabury ever get humble?”
“I can’t say. What I do know is that you can’t think the presence of darkness means God isn’t there.”
Eric shook his head very slowly because the arguments against everything she was saying pummeled into his spirit. “Forgive me for saying this, but weren’t you all like dirt poor?”
“That we were, child. That we were. But Mama would say that you’ve got to plant the seeds of what you want to harvest. You go planting bitterness and hatred, then bitterness and hatred’s what’s agonna come up in your garden. You want love and hope, then that’s what you plant.”
This was starting to give him a headache. “So you’re telling me that your mother chose to work in a place that paid her next to nothing, when she had little children at home to support because she loved… a side-winding crook?”
“Like I said, I’m not sure he was the reason she stayed.” A moment and dishes done, she turned to him, her face glowing in a way he couldn’t explain. “Let me tell you something about this ol’ world, Eric. You’re gonna get what you believe. If you believe people is out to get you, that they’re jerks and skunks and they’re gonna take advantage of you if you let ‘em, then that’s what they’re going to do. In fact, you look very long at all, you’ve got to conclude if you’re honest that that’s pretty much what the world does to everybody. But if you look a little harder, see beneath what things look like down to what’s really going on, then you start to see that God ain’t gone, He ain’t dead. He’s an option in every single word you speak, in every single thing you do to anybody and for anybody you meet. God is always one of your options. What you choose to do with that determines what kind of seeds you’re planting and what you’re going to get in the end.
“You’re thinking about Mr. Attabury like he had so much and gave so little, but when I think of him, I see how sad and broken he really was. You know how many people went to his funeral? Two.” She held up two fingers. “The preacher ‘cause he had to be there, and his wife ‘cause I guess she did too. The man owned half-the-county when he died, and no one wanted to be seen planting him in the ground. Now that says something about how a body spent their time here, and it ain’t something good. Stop looking at him and being jealous, child. Stop looking at him and planting seeds of hate and bitterness toward the man and his family. Lord knows we’ve had way too much of those planted around here. It’s time we start planting good things like forgiveness and mercy and grace. Let go of what’s done because if you’re holding onto that, you can’t never take hold of what’s now.”
Although what she was saying made sense in his head, his heart still wasn’t ready to take that leap, and he wasn’t sure it ever would be. “I’ll think about it.” He looked at his watch, and panic flooded through him. “Oh, my… I didn’t realize how late it was getting. Thank you so much for lunch. I’d better be getting Ja to…” He slammed into that thought. He hadn’t thought to line up anybody to watch her today. Letting out a frustrated breath, he pulled out his cell phone. “Maybe Jane can watch her.”
“Or maybe I can.”
When he looked up into her eyes, they were shining with unshed, sparkling tears.
“But only if you don’t mind,” she said very carefully. “I don’t want to poke my nose in anywhere it ain’t wanted.”
A moment of thought and he put the cell phone back. “I think that’s a great idea.”
“So, I was talking to Ms. P earlier,” Eric said when he was ripping out the walls of the parlor.
“Oh yeah? Great woman, Ms. P.”
“That she is. Interesting.” Eric let out a breath as he sent the hammer down the wall and tore chunks of it out. “Gave me some things to think about.”
“Like?”
“Like remember all that old cash we found?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, I don’t think it was probably obtained, shall we say, legally.”
“Oh, yeah?”
“Seems old Mr. Attabury was into late night runs with the moonshine.”
Caleb lifted his eyebrows. “No kidding?”
“Among other things apparently.” He jerked another piece, and it came crumbling down in his hand. “Must’ve been quite the character.”
“Makes sense. That’s probably why his wife was so paranoid at the end. Illegal things have a way of showing back up on your doorstep if you’re not careful.” Caleb collected the pieces and pitched them into the wheelbarrow. “Well, to be honest you’re not the only one that’s been doing some thinking about things.”
“Oh, yeah? What was your big epiphany?”
One more piece in the wheelbarrow and Caleb stopped completely. “Remember what Pastor Steve was talking about today in the sermon, about what’s your calling and all of that?”
“Yeah?”
“Well,” Caleb said, and the words stopped long enough that Eric turned from his task. A moment and Caleb’s gaze dropped to the white dusty floor at their feet. Another and it came up to meet Eric’s. “I think I’m going to adopt the kids.”
“Adop…” Eric slammed into the word, let it go through his spirit, and dissolve all the previous dark thoughts. “That’s…. That’s awesome. Seriously. Wow, dude. That’s a big step. What does Rachel think?”
“She’s for it. We’ve talked about it before, but I really feel like it’s time now, you know? I feel like it’s what God is calling me to do, to become a real father to them, to make it permanent not just with their mom but with them too.”
Eric couldn’t have stopped the grin if he’d have wanted to. “Well, they couldn’t ask for a better one.”
“You think so?”
“I know so.”
At almost four, Eric’s cell beeped, and he took it out, hoping it might be Dani. It was. “Dani,” he said to Caleb who immediately took the hint and the hammer. They were in the last of the three upstairs rooms. It was the smallest and would be finished in no time. “Hey, babe.”
Before she said even a word, he heard the sniff, and his feet carried him out the door and to the hallway which did nothing to get him away from Caleb since everything was down to the studs. Sensing that, he kept walking, went down the three steps a
nd up the other three into the master. “You okay? What’s wrong?”
“I’m sorry,” she said, her words broken by the tears crashing through them.
“No. Hey, don’t be sorry. What’s wrong? What’s going on?” The job crossed his mind, the money. She was probably worried about that again.
“I wanted…” She sniffed hard and not like a lady at all. “I wanted to just call and talk. I didn’t want to… I know, you’re there, dealing with everything. I just…”
“No, hon, it’s okay. I get it. We’re fine. Really, we’re better than fine. It’s okay.”
“No. It’s not okay. It’s never going to be okay again.”
Pure adrenaline-pumping alarm cascaded through him. “Why not? What’s…?”
“Dad did it,” she said, and the bitterness rang in her voice. “He went off and married her.”
Eric wasn’t sure what to name what came after the panic, but whatever it was, he hit it going 80. “What? Are you serious?”
“Yes, I’m serious,” she said, and the bitterness spiked into spite. “Of course I’m serious. What do you think? I’m saying this for my health?”
Eric sat down on the top step, knowing if he didn’t, he was going to fall any minute. “How’s… how’s your mom?”
“Completely freaking out. She’s called me like four times since we found out. Four times. And Mitchell’s called me twice. I think he’s worried about me.” She sniffed hard again, and Eric had to agree with his brother-in-law, he was worried too.
“Okay, well, do you need me to go?” he asked. “I could go to her house, sit with her or something.”
“You’re going to go to my house and sit with my mother?”
“I will if you need me to, if you think that will help.” Listening like he never had before, he tried to picture her by the sounds she was making. Crying. She was crying. Terror and helplessness went through him, and he put his head down and ran his hand over it. “Babe…”
“No,” she said softly. “I don’t think it will help. If I did, I would’ve sent Mitchell.”
Raising Attabury: A Contemporary Christian Epic-Novel (The Grace Series Book 5) Page 33