You Don't Own Me: A Bad Boy Mafia Romance (The Russian Don Book 1)

by Le Carre, Georgia

  Her eyes fly open, large and guileless. When she is aroused her eyes become brilliant and shiny. I had a cat once with eyes like that. Beautiful.

  Staring into her fabulous eyes I add another finger. Her pale legs tremble open further. She gasps, her body arching slightly.

  ‘Have you ever been finger-fucked in a club, Snow?’

  She shakes her head.

  With a little laugh I realize that I don’t need to fuck her, I just want to lay claim to her. Make her submit sexually to me anywhere, anytime. I need to dominate her and get it through her head that she belongs to me, mind, body and soul and I won’t tolerate even the ghost of Lenny’s memory.

  Every time I see him in her eyes, I’m going to fuck her until he is completely gone. My other hand roves possessively over her body. I unbutton the first two buttons of her dress and slide my hand inside it. I run my palm caressingly over her nipples. Through the thin silky material of her bra, they are like small stones under my palm. I push up the bra cup and pinch her nipple. She groans softly.

  Using my thumb, I gather the slickness from the tender pink folds and begin to relentlessly circle her clit. She rocks with sudden hunger.

  ‘I love your body, little rabbit,’ I tell her, thrusting my hand harder and harder as she starts to quake, her exposed breast jiggling.

  She buries her head into my neck. ‘I’m going to come, Shane,’ she gasps. It is almost a plea. Asking my permission to come. I like that. It’s fucking horny. I pump her even more furiously and her poor little pussy clenches around my fingers. Then she goes over the edge beautifully.

  I let her hide, her body shuddering, and her muscles locked around my fingers. I hear her heart thudding hard against mine.

  ‘I don’t ever want you to go back to Lenny,’ I state harshly.

  She pulls away from my neck and stares up at me, her face a confused oval of white. ‘I can’t do that. I owe—’

  ‘Owe? What do you owe, Snow?’ I ask, my voice is a vicious snarl.

  She shakes her head and tries to wriggle away from me, but I grip her hips hard.

  ‘I’m the man with my fingers buried inside your pussy, and that’s the way it’s going to be every night from now on,’ I tell her thickly. And, staring insolently at her, I begin to move my fingers in and out of her in a show of my total control of her body.

  She stares at me helplessly, her eyes darkening again with spiraling excitement.

  ‘What do you owe him, Snow?’ I ask softly.

  ‘I can’t tell you,’ she says hoarsely.

  ‘Why not, Snow?’

  She bites her lip with consternation and mounting arousal.

  ‘Are you afraid of him?’

  ‘No, not really, but I can’t talk about it. It’s too dreadful to talk about.’

  ‘Sweet Snow,’ I groan. ‘You’re too fucking sweet to be true.’ And, bending my head, I kiss her hungrily. Her fingers cling to my shoulders and suddenly I have the ugly searing thought. Did she cling to him? Did she ever come alive under his hand and his mouth? My tongue pushes into her mouth roughly, my teeth hurting her soft flesh. I hook her tongue, bring it into my mouth, and suck it so hard she whimpers and tries to fight back, her clenched fist striking my forearms, then grabbing my hand and trying to pull it out of her pussy.

  I pull my mouth away and her rage dissolves at the expression on my face. So full of lust it startles her. We stare at each other as I continue to pleasure her. She comes with a strangled cry of submission. I caress the delicate bones in the curve of her spine.

  ‘You’re never seeing Lenny again,’ I say firmly, and slipping my fingers out of her, I pull her bra cup over her breast, button her top and pull her dress over her thighs.

  She drops her eyes. ‘I’ll come back with you tonight, but I’ll have to see him again. I have to explain.’

  ‘No, you fucking won’t. I’ll take the fight to him. I knew what I was doing when I decided to hunt you. I knew there’d be consequences to pay. And I’m ready to pay them.’

  She licks her swollen mouth nervously. Unshed tears glimmer in the depths. ‘Lenny is dangerous, Shane. I can’t let you confront him. Please, I’m begging you. I know how to handle him. He won’t hurt me.’

  ‘No fucking way. I wouldn’t trust him with you for a minute. I’ll rot in hell before I let that psychopath anywhere near you again.’

  She looks at me desperately. ‘Maybe we can run away together.’

  I laugh mirthlessly. ‘Run? I come from a long line of bare-knuckle fighters, Snow. We don’t fucking run. We fight for what we want. I’m not scared of him. If I was, you’d be in his bed now. I want you and I’ll fucking fight to the death for you.’

  ‘Oh, Shane. I’m so sorry. I never meant to get you into such a rotten mess,’ she cries.

  ‘Fuck, Snow,’ I say in wonder. ‘You didn’t get me into this mess. I’m my own man. I got me into this rotten mess and I’m not one tiny bit sorry. I’ll fight anyone for you.’ I touch her lovely, sad face. ‘He should never have had you in the first place. He’s got no soul, Snow.’

  She hugs herself as if she’s cold and stares at me intensely. ‘You don’t understand. He’ll let you win a bare-knuckle fight. He’ll even clap you on the back, congratulate you, and tell you the best man won. But he’s a vindictive man, Shane. He never forgets. When you think it’s all fine, he’ll send his attack dogs.’

  I smile. ‘Ah, Snow. You didn’t think I was going to challenge him to a bare-knuckle fight, did you? You only do that when you’re fighting a man. He’s not a real man. He has no honor. You’ll just have to trust me when I say I do know men like him. I know exactly what makes them tick and exactly how to approach them. And he’s not the only one with attack dogs.’

  She stares at me. ‘You have a plan?’

  I nod. ‘I have a plan.’

  ‘What is it?’

  ‘The less you know the better.’

  ‘Is your plan dangerous?’

  ‘Not to me it’s not. I’m pretty sure I’ve got it all covered.’

  She looks scared. ‘Promise?’

  God, she’s so beautiful she takes my breath away. I smile slowly. ‘Promise.’

  She smiles back tremulously.

  ‘Listen, I’ve got to go upstairs and get something, and then I’m taking you home. Want to come up with me or wait here for me?’

  She smiles shyly. ‘You’ve made a mess between my legs. I need to go freshen up. I’ll just nip into the Ladies while you’re up.’

  ‘Don’t clean too hard. I plan on making one hell of a bigger mess when we get home.’

  ‘I like it when you make a mess,’ she says and, leaning forward, kisses me lightly on the tip of my nose. It’s sweet.

  ‘Go anywhere you want inside the club, but don’t walk out of it. It’s dangerous for a woman outside.’

  ‘I have no intention of going out,’ she says with a heartbreaking smile.

  Twenty-one

  SNOW

  I am washing my hands when the woman walks in. She stands next to me and looks at herself. I cannot help but stare. Blonde, and well over six feet tall in her high, white shoes she’s unbelievably beautiful. Her eyes are deep blue and she is wearing flash eyelashes, the tips of which she has dusted with silver. It has a very dramatic effect when she blinks. To my surprise she smiles warmly at me and I smile back.

  ‘Hi,’ she says. ‘I saw you come in with the boss.’ Her accent is quite strong, possibly Russian.

  ‘Yes,’ I say shyly. It’s going to take some time before I get used to thinking of Shane as my boyfriend.

  ‘I’m Nikki,’ she introduces.

  ‘You can call me Snow.’

  ‘Snow. Beautiful name for beauty.’

  ‘Oh, thank you, but you’re the real beauty here.’

  She waves my compliment away modestly. ‘It’s all make-up. You should see me in the morning.’

  ‘I don’t believe that for an instant,’ I tell her. And that’s the truth. She would be be
autiful without any make up. She’s perfect in every way. Tall, blonde, big breasts, stunning.

  Haven’t I seen you here before?’ she asks opening her little clutch purse.

  ‘Not really,’ I say awkwardly.

  She takes her lip gloss and unscrews it. ‘Yes, I have. I never forget a face. In this business you need to have a good memory.’ She smiles. ‘You know, which customer likes which move …’ She lets the sentence hang and applies a layer of gloss onto her bee stung lips and then turns to look at me again.

  ‘It’s been nice meeting you. Maybe I’ll see you around,’ I say.

  She narrows her eyes at me. ‘Ah, I remember now. You’re Lenny’s woman.’ And she smiles happily. ‘I knew I had seen you before. Lenny is a good customer of mine,’ she says with a knowing wink. ‘But between you and me you’ve done well to dump him for Shane. Lenny’s very generous and all, but Shane’s brilliant in bed, isn’t he?’

  I freeze. ‘I beg your pardon.’

  ‘Oh don’t worry. I’m not jealous or anything. We finished ages ago. I know all about his,’ she makes air quotation marks, ‘have cock will travel’ rules. He’s had at least twenty women since we broke up.’

  ‘What?’

  She widens her eyes. ‘Oh, I didn’t mean to shock you or anything. I didn’t know you thought it was serious. Take it as a friendly warning, dahling, it’s never serious with Shane. He’s a total manwhore with a frisky donkey dick, but that’s what makes him so good in bed. Look, don’t worry about it. Just enjoy it while it lasts. Just don’t let him break your little heart. Good luck, sweetie.’

  I think of Shane. The way we made love. Have cock will travel!

  My throat clogs. I’m so fucking pathetic. You don’t eat all the candy from the candy shop. Again and again I make the same mistake. I trust the wrong people. He doesn’t eat all the candy just the best pieces.

  But he told me I was his. I belonged to him.

  The air suddenly feels chilled. Her words are like frost covering my heart. Gooseflesh crawls on my skin. I feel cold. So cold. Even colder than when I stumbled out of that hotel room.

  God, how stupid I’ve been. Of course a man as beautiful as he is will have loads of women after him. Of course he is a player. Look how he chased me even after he saw me with Lenny. I can’t believe I never saw it until now.

  There is no puzzle to put together. A child could have worked it out. I was just too idiotic, too unhappy to see it. And there I was besotted, thinking he was the other half of my soul. He is just a courteous, charming player. Disgust crawls over my skin. I feel humiliated and used, again. All I want to do is run away.

  Malicious amusement at my naivety glints in her eyes. Unshed tears scorch the backs of my eyes. I won’t give her the satisfaction.

  ‘Leave me alone now,’ I say. My voice is strangely detached.

  I drop my eyes to my hands. They are still wet. I need to dry them. I walk over to the hand drier and hold my hands inside the machine. Hard jets of air blow on them. I hear the door open and close and I crumple. For a second I stand where I am with my back to the door, the poison spreading into my body, and then I walk to it and stand just inside it. Afraid to open the door.

  Oh, my poor heart. It still wants to believe.

  But the cold truth was undeniable. She is right. I always knew he was a playboy, but I could not help myself, and after a while I started to believe in him. But if this stunning creature couldn’t keep him, what hope have I?

  I have let Shane break my heart.

  I open the door and the beautiful night creatures are going about their fun and laughter. Nothing has changed for them, but for me it feels as if I am dying. I start walking towards the entrance. I can make out Nikki. Her face is turned towards me, her claws sheathed, but her eyes filled with dark interest. I feel every cliché: the ground dropping out beneath my feet, my whole world shattering before my eyes, and our life together vanishing in a cloud of smoke.

  My stomach twists and I start hurrying to the door. As I get closer, my feet speed up even more. Soon I am running. People are turning to stare, but I don’t care anymore. I just want to be out of this ugly place with its ugly, ugly people doing ugly, ugly things to each other. Tears soak my eyelashes and run down my face.

  He’s just a habit. A very bad habit. But even the worst habits can be broken. I will survive. I survived the hotel room. This is nothing.

  But tears keep pouring down my face.

  I run out of the club and suddenly find myself in the deserted parking lot. The night is so sultry it is almost muggy, but I feel cold and numb. My life seems like a dream that I’m walking through with my eyes closed. Making mistake after mistake after mistake. Ignoring every clue.

  I look around me in confusion. How will I get home? I have no money. My hands are shaking. I bow my head to think and when I lift it, suddenly, and bewilderingly, I am surrounded by men. Where did they come from? Who are they?

  I peer at them and they look like they are part of a stag night party because one of them is wearing a pair of felt antlers. He comes up to me and touches me. I freeze. Another touches my hand.

  ‘Come on, love. Give us a kiss.’

  One of them takes a note out of his pocket. ‘Go on love, he’s getting married tomorrow.’

  Another one says, ‘Come guys. Leave her alone. She’s scared shitless.’

  ‘Fuck off, Larry. It’s just a bit of fun,’ says the guy who took the note out of his pocket. And the rest of them laugh.

  Somewhere in my head I realize that they think I am one of the strippers. That they are not going to hurt me. They just want to buy a kiss for the groom, but a kind of paralysis has swept over me and my whole body is in lockdown. I cannot move a muscle.

  Only my eyes swivel over them in terror. And then the fear comes.

  I am so exposed. So utterly vulnerable. They could take me. There are six. I want to scream. I want to run. But my body does nothing. I can’t understand what is happening to my body. I am frozen I have become petrified. Like those tree fossils from millions of years ago. It is incomprehensible and terrifying.

  My purse has fallen on the floor and all the contents have fallen out. One of the guys comes really close to me. ‘What’s wrong, sugar? Are you all right? We’re not going to hurt you.’

  His breath reeks of alcohol.

  I look at him wordlessly.

  ‘Hey, look at that. She can’t move.’

  He starts to laugh. Tears start rolling down my face. Daringly he touches my breast. And yet I can do nothing. He sniggers. ‘Shit, this chick is like a statue. We could take her home with us.’

  The other guys crowd around me curiously. It is exactly like it was before. I was frozen and tears were escaping fast from my eyes and no one cared. They just went on doing whatever they wanted to me.

  Suddenly there is a great roar and wind whooshes by me. I stare in shock as Shane punches the guy with the antlers and kicks the guy who wanted to take me home, to the ground. I have never seen the primal animal inside him, and I stare transfixed.

  He is so achingly beautiful. Like an animal. No rules. Perfectly unfettered, free to extract whatever punishment he wants. There is no pretense, no nod to what is socially acceptable. He just surrenders to the beast inside him.

  In the commotion the other men are screaming, ‘What the fuck?’

  ‘Hey, we didn’t mean her any harm.’

  ‘We didn’t fucking do nothing,’ is the cowardly defense to Shane’s fury and fists.

  Two of them turn and run away. The bouncers appear and Shane is putting his arm around me.

  He bends his knees and looks into my face. I just stare at him. He is white about the mouth. His hand is bleeding. He cups my face with his hands.

  ‘Are you all right?’ he asks. His voice confuses me. It is strange and different. As if he is speaking a different language.

  I take a shuddering breath and open my mouth to say, yes, but no words will come out. I close my mouth.
r />   ‘It’s OK. It’s OK. I’m here,’ he says and crushes me to his chest. I am trembling so hard he pulls back and looks at me worriedly.

  I know the bouncers are all around me, but I don’t see them. I know Shane is holding me, but I can’t feel it. Some one is picking up my things from the ground and putting them back into my purse. Shane gives his car keys to someone who brings the car right next to us. Shane opens the car door and puts me in it. We drive back to his home in complete silence. Once we get there he comes around and lifts me bodily from the car.

  ‘I can walk,’ I croak.

  ‘It’ll be faster this way,’ he says. In the lift I feel his eyes staring down at me, but I keep my head bent.

  Inside the apartment he lays me on the couch and goes to the liquor cabinet. He pours us both brandies. A super large one for him, which he throws down his throat, and a smaller one that he brings to me. I take it and curve my hands around the cold glass. He sits opposite me. His face is still pale under his tan.

  ‘Do you want a hot drink?’ he asks.

  I shake my head.

  ‘Drink up,’ he instructs.

  I take a gulp and the alcohol runs through my body like fire.

  ‘Finish it,’ he says.

  I do it and he leans forward and takes the glass from my hand.

  I look up at him to say thank you and my breath is stolen from me at the strange unfathomable expression on his face. ‘Why did you leave the club?’ he asks.

  ‘I went to the Ladies and met Nikki.’ My voice is emotionless. Truly I don’t feel any of the emotion I felt before. I just feel like a shell.

  His face crumples. ‘Oh, Snow. What do you want from me? I’ve never pretended with you. You knew what I was. I chased pussy. But, every one of those girls knew exactly where they stood with me from day one. I never cheated on anyone and certainly not her. Yes, I slept with her, but she was never anything to me and she knew that.’

  ‘It was just a shock. I guess I am more jealous than what I thought.’

  He looks at me curiously. ‘What actually happened outside the club?’

  ‘I’m really tired, Shane. Can we please talk about it in the morning?’