“Ellie,” I whisper when I can speak normally again.
“Aiden,” she whispers back, teasing me as she tries to catch her breath, too. Blowing someone while doing push-ups can’t be easy. It’s definitely one of the hottest things I’ve ever experienced, though.
“I’m the luckiest man alive.”
“Yes, you are. I’m the luckiest woman alive, though, so we’re even.”
“Do we have time to eat?”
“Yep. We’re very good at what we do.”
“That we are.”
She pulls out the finger foods she got from Audrey and spreads them out on the desk. I start to pull her onto my lap in her desk chair, but freeze. She puts my hands back on her hips and sinks down onto me. “This is good, Aid.”
“Yeah, it really is.”
Chapter 7
Ellie
I float on a cloud of euphoria for the rest of my shift. How could I not after Aiden gave me three amazing orgasms—with just his mouth, like I needed him to. We close up, and I dance around a little to the music playing as I check on everyone. Leave it to Jade to call me out on it once everyone but the four of us are gone.
“So I guess you fucked and made up then?”
“We didn’t fuck,” I tell her.
“Well you definitely got some.”
“If by ‘some’ you mean three earth shattering orgasms, then yes. I did get those.”
“Three? You were only in there for half an hour.”
“I also took care of him, and we ate too. Aiden’s very, very talented with his mouth.”
“So is Nate. But, damn.”
“I know.”
“It was okay? I mean, you’re okay?”
I stop dancing in place and look at my best friend so she knows I’m being serious. “I’m better than fine, and it was wonderful. He did things just the way I needed him to. I know it can’t be easy for him to hold back. You know it’s not easy, but he’s willing to stick it out with me.”
“I’m not going to lie to you, because we don’t do that with each other. It is hard to have to watch what you do, and remember not to touch someone. With me and Nate it wasn’t long, because he understood that I saw him as more than a body, and so he let me touch him. Aiden loves you, El. You’re way more than a body to him, too, and he’s going to wait for you to be ready.”
“What if I’m not, though? What if I’ll never be ready? I’m not as strong as Nate.”
“Bullshit. The guys don’t call you ‘Brass’ for nothing. What happened to Nate was years before we met. I won’t say that made it easier, but I guess it was. I don’t know. We don’t talk about the why—I just know that he feels comfortable with me in a way he never has with anyone else.”
“I know Aiden will never hurt me. But what I did…what I let those men do. I-I…”
I can’t tell Jade the whole truth. I’m too ashamed to even tell my best friend. She wouldn’t judge me. I know she wouldn’t. But I still can’t force the words out. How am I ever going to get better if I can’t tell her or Aiden what happened?
“It’s alright, El. I don’t need to know.”
“You want to know.”
“Honestly, yes. But only so I can try and help you. You’ll tell me when you’re ready, or you never will.”
“Nate can tell you. I’ll talk to him, and he can tell you. I-I can’t. The words won’t come out of my mouth, but I want you to know.”
“Only if you’re sure.”
“I am.”
“Are you going to have him tell Aiden, too?”
“No. I have to be the one to tell Aiden. I don’t know how I’ll ever be able to, but it has to be me.”
“I’m going to say this again—he loves you. He’ll understand.”
“I know.”
I do know. Aiden won’t stop loving me, but he may never look at me the same. Can I handle that? I don’t know. But I do know that in order for us to have any type of future, I need to tell him. Soon.
“You two look pretty serious over here,” Nate says, coming up to wrap his arms around Jade. I can tell that Aiden wants to do the same to me, but he settles for resting his hands on my hips and kissing my cheek.
“We were talking about what a mess I am.”
“You’re not a mess, Doll.”
“I am.”
“Ellie,” Nate warns. “You know I don’t want to hear you saying that shit.”
“Even if it’s true? Because if I wasn’t a mess, Aiden could’ve wrapped his arms around me the same way you just did to Jade.”
“I’m fine, El. I promise.”
“You’re fine with having to stop yourself from reaching for me? Or playing around with me?”
“Yes.”
“I’ve seen you, Aiden. I’ve seen you start to reach for me. In tender moments, and when you’re just messing around. Your face…it looks so pained when you realize that you can’t touch me. Or you think you can’t, and don’t want to ask. That’s not fine.”
I’m nearly hysterical, and we all realize it. “Take some deep breaths. Please. Just breathe, Doll. I’ll admit it’s hard, okay? But I love you, and I’m not going anywhere. It won’t always be this hard for either of us. Or if it is, then we’ll just deal with it.”
“I don’t want you to have to ‘deal’ with me. I want you to hold me, and make love to me, and fuck me like you used to. Like you want to. Like I want you to. But I can’t let you do that. I can’t.”
I turn and wrap my arms around him, pulling him close. He just stands there for a moment, and I know he’s trying to figure out where to put his hands. “Hold me. Please just hold me,” I tell him.
His arms immediately go around my shoulders, pulling me even closer. He crosses his arms over my back and rubs my shoulder blades as I sob into his chest. He kisses my hair and whispers how much he loves me, over and over again. It’s only a couple of minutes, but it feels like hours, when he moves back and uses his thumbs to wipe away my tears.
“Do you want me to take you home now?”
He’s not whispering, and I know without looking that my friends have moved away to give us some privacy. They know pretty much everything there is to know about the two of us, but I appreciate them backing off.
“No. I want to hang out with our friends and pretend that we’re just a normal couple for a little while. Then I want you to take me home and use that talented tongue of yours on me again while I suck you dry.”
He groans into my ear. “You really are trying to kill me. Or at least keep me hard 24 hours a day.”
“We could order a car to take us to the restaurant. Nate could take your car.”
“Because that wouldn’t be obvious.”
“Do you really care?”
“Normally, no. But you deserve more than the back of a town car. It’s important for me to show you that.”
“You show me how special I am every time we’re together.”
“Except for yesterday. And two months ago.”
I take his face in my hands and force him to look at me. “The past is just that. The past. I told you I want to focus on our future together. Nothing else matters.”
He nods, but I know he doesn’t totally believe me. If I could tell him what I know, his conscience would be clear about what happened to me. Or at least clearer than it is now. But, if I tell him, he’ll never accept my help. Or anyone else’s. It’s not in his nature. He has to save everyone else, while not letting himself be vulnerable enough to ask for help, or even just accept it.
I know that I’m taking a big chance. We all are. He’ll eventually have to know, and when he does, we’ll be lucky if he still talks to us. And I’ll be lucky if he still wants to be with me. I can’t regret what I’m doing, though. Saving him is more important than keeping him. It has to be.
* * *
Aiden
Sitting here in a small Ethiopian restaurant, next to the woman I love, and surrounded by some of our best friends, I really do feel almost
normal. Isa, Jake, and Faith are here with us, as well as Nate and Jade. We’re all laughing and joking with each other like the last few months never happened. That’s how it is with good friends, you can just pick up where you left off and it’s like no time has passed. That thought makes me think of Andy, and how I really did try to keep our friendship alive. I didn’t want to lose him as a friend, but he just never wanted to fit in with my friends. He didn’t like that I had other friends. That’s his problem, and not mine. I tried to be his friend, and I’ll still keep trying, because my dad loves him.
“Why are you looking like you lost your best friend?” Ellie whispers to me.
“Because I did.”
“Andres?”
“Yeah.”
“You told me you tried to stay in touch.”
“I did. He was just…possessive of me.”
“Possessive? Like he wanted you?”
“No,” I shake my head with a smile. “He was a bigger pussy chaser than Matt, Nate, and I put together. I was honestly shocked when he got with my dad. I meant that he was possessive as far as wanting me to have no other friends but him.”
“Wait, he seriously never even seemed interested in other guys in all the years you knew him?”
“No, but you have to remember that I hadn’t seen him for years, either. I guess he got curious.”
“Yeah. I guess. It bothers you, doesn’t it?”
“That he’s with my dad? Yeah, but not because they’re both dudes. It’s just weird that one of my friends is with my dad.”
“I can see that.”
“Are you having fun,” I ask, moving away from that awkward subject.
“Yes,” She says, snuggling under my arm.
“Isn’t this cozy,” Dave says, coming up to our table. I hadn’t even seen him in the restaurant.
“Yes. It is,” I tell him, and don’t even try to keep the sneer off of my face. I don’t like him, and I won’t pretend that I do. Even for my dad.
“I would expect the great Aiden Ford to be dining somewhere fancier.”
“You really need to knock that shit off. I am the least pretentious person I know. Just because I was born rich, doesn’t mean I flaunt it, or even care about it. I don’t take money from my parents, and I haven’t since I was old enough to work.”
“A man of the little people.”
Nate is out of his chair before I can get out of mine. “Back off asshole.”
“Sending your muscle after me? Nice.” Dave says with a smirk. But he does back up a few steps.
“I don’t take anything from my parents, either, but my mom would do anything for me. Including making sure you lose all favor in this town. So why don’t you just run along, and let us enjoy our dinner,” Jake says, looking him in the eye with his own smirk on his face.
“The greater they are, the harder they fall. Just remember that,” he says, holding up his hands as he walks away.
“What the hell did you do to that guy?” Faith asks.
I shrug. “Woke up breathing today?”
“He’s always been a little asshole, but he does seem to have a special hard-on for you,” Jake says. “Be careful.”
“I’m not afraid of him.”
“Never underestimate an enemy. You know that, Aid,” Nate tells me.
I nod. He’s right. I don’t know who it is that’s trying to frame me, and I can’t rule anyone out. Everyone who I’ve ever come into contact with has to be treated as a potential threat. Even the ones who I see as nothing more than an annoyance.
The rest of the evening—or I should say early morning, since it’s after midnight—is a blast. I didn’t realize how much I missed just hanging out with everyone. Even when I was just dropping in and out of Vegas, I always knew I had friends to hang out with and an exceptional woman to go home with every night. These past two months, I was surrounded by people who would’ve hung out with me—and women who would’ve slept with me—but not a single one of them interested me. Because no one can compare to my friends, and no other woman is Ellie. I told her I was lucky, and I meant it.
Chapter 8
Aiden
I follow Ellie into her apartment, waiting to see what she has in mind for us tonight. If it’s more of the same from earlier, I’ll be very happy. If it’s even more, then hell yeah, I’m on board with that, too. She stands in front of me looking at her feet, which are moving back and forth. Her hands are pulling at her jacket, and I reach out to stop them.
“This is me. You never need to feel nervous around me.”
“I-I know. I’m not nervous. Just embarrassed.”
“About what? Again, this is me.”
She looks up at me, then, and her eyes are wet. My heart breaks a little, and I pull her closer so that our foreheads are touching. “I thought I could do more, but I don’t think I can.”
“More than what we did, or more of the same? Either way, it’s totally okay. I just need to know.”
“More than what we did. I want more of the same, but that’s not fair to you.”
“How is you sucking my cock not fair to me?”
“You shouldn’t have to just go down on me.”
I throw back my head and laugh. “’Have to’ is not a phrase I would ever use when describing my mouth between your legs. Well, maybe I would, but more in the ‘I have to have my mouth between your legs again or I’m going to die hungry’ kind of way.”
“You’re sure?”
“How many times did I make you come that way earlier?”
“Three.”
“I tried for four, but yes, three. I would’ve stopped at one if I didn’t want to be doing it. I have stopped at one with other women, but I never have with you, have I?”
“No.”
“Because I fucking love your pussy. I love licking it, sucking it, fingering it, sliding my cock into it. Anything I can do to it is top ten in what I love in life. Until you’re ready for me to do the other things, I’m going to have my mouth on it, and in it, as often as possible. Just thinking about tasting you is enough to make me almost come. Like seriously, I’m close right now.”
“Really?” she asks, licking her lips as I groan.
“Yes.”
“How close do you get when you think about me taking you in your mouth?”
“Ellie,” I warn as she unzips her skirt, dropping it to the floor.
She shrugs off her jacket, but leaves the corset on. I know without her telling me that she’s going to keep it on. That’s okay. I don’t want her to rush anything for me. That would be disastrous for both of us.
I lift my shirt over my head and kick off my shoes. As I reach for my pants, her eyes flash. I move my hips a little, putting on a show for her as I slide my jeans and boxer briefs over my hips.
“Is this my dance?”
“Not even close. Just a little entertainment for your viewing pleasure.”
“So thoughtful, Hawk.”
“For you, always.”
“Thank you,” she says quietly.
I need to lighten things a little. I don’t want her crying while I make her come unless they’re tears of joy. “How are we doing this? Separately again, or can we play together?”
“Together. Definitely together.”
“Can’t wait to have me in your mouth again, huh?”
“You look like you need it,” she teases back, looking pointedly at my fully erect cock as it looks back at her.
“I could wait.”
“Could you?” she asks, sliding her panties down her legs, so she’s only left in that sexy as fuck corset.
Her pussy’s glistening already, and my mouth starts to water just thinking about licking that all up. I don’t even remember the question she asked me as I walk over to her. I’d already checked out the townhouse when we got here, and I know exactly how I want to do this.
“Do you still practice hanging upside down like you did in training, Doll?”
“Sometimes. If you’re ask
ing if I can be upside down for a good amount of time without getting too light-headed, then the answer is yes,” she tells me, her eyes sparkling.
“Good. I thought we could do this a little differently tonight.”
“I’d like that.”
I walk her to the stairs, but instead of going up them, I move us around to the side. “Can I pick you up?”
“Yes.”
I grasp her hips and lift her to grab the wooden spindles on the side of the step that’s the best height for us. “I’ve got you, El. Flip, please.”
She does as I ask, moving her legs above her head, and wrapping them around the wood. I help her lower her upper body down to the right height, and make sure she won’t fall. “Oh wait,” she says, sitting back up.
I hold her as she takes down her hair for me. Oh yeah, this is going to be hot. Very, very hot. Once she’s done, she lowers herself back down. I know she’s strong enough to stay upside down on her own, but I’m going to hold her hips anyway. I step into place, and then it’s on.
She teases me, licking and nibbling up and down my length and all along my tip as I tease her back. The playing goes on for a few minutes, and then we both get serious. She takes as much of me as she can into her mouth, and I suck and bite her a little harder. This position is doing it for both of us, but I won’t come until I’ve gotten at least another three from her.
Her first one comes on quickly, surprising me—and probably her—with its intensity. She can multi-task like a pro, so she doesn’t let go, but I definitely get sucked harder than normal. I laugh against her as she tries to suck me at a more comfortable pace again. She smacks my ass, and I renew my efforts, twisting my tongue the way I know will push her right over again, and it does.
She starts to sag against the pieces of wood, and I realize that she’s not going to last this way for her third one. Good thing I carried packs that weighed more than her up mountains in the military, because I’m not ready to abandon this position yet.
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