Their Child?

by Christine Rimmer

  Outside her room, he grinned at her and took her hand, looking like a kid with a secret. “We only have about ten minutes.”

  Letting him guide her, she followed him down the stairs to the kitchen and out the back door. He grabbed his windbreaker on the way out and now he hung it around her shoulders.

  After she slid into it, she felt embarrassed because she probably looked a mess. Mourning doves cooed as she put her hand through Chase’s arm and they walked across the backyard and stood between the creek and the winery.

  There she saw it. The sky was ablaze with orange and purple and muted pink as the sun just broke through the horizon. She didn’t know how long it had been since she’d seen a sunrise.

  “It was spectacular yesterday,” Chase said. “I thought maybe you’d like to see it today.”

  The colors rainbowed throughout the sky now, and she knew if she looked away, she’d miss the dawning of a new day. Chase’s arm went around her shoulders, and she realized how right it felt there.

  She loved this man. Was she deluding herself into thinking they could have a marriage together? Was she deluding herself into thinking he’d ever forget his wife?

  When he brought her a little closer, he motioned to the land before them, rows and rows of vines, the sloping earth, the trees along the creek. “In all my travels, I’ve never seen anything I appreciate more than this.”

  The signs of spring were all around her—the long green grass, the colorful flowers and the fresh scents of the season. Standing here with Chase felt so real, so absolutely right. She thought of Abby and Marianne and the life they could have as a couple with the girls.

  “I thought about your proposal,” she said quietly as the sun rose higher and the day began in earnest.

  She couldn’t tell him she loved him. That love could become a burden he didn’t want. It might be an impediment to the relationship they were trying to build. But she knew he had goals and purpose and they looked in the same direction. “I think marriage could give us both what we want.”

  After a moment, he asked, “What do you want, Jillian?”

  “I want a good home for Marianne and Abby. I want to feel safe and secure and know what tomorrow will bring.”

  Facing her now, he held her chin in his palm. “And do you want to spend your nights with me as well as your days?”

  The hunger in his gaze told her he desired her, and she desired him. “Yes.”

  Chase’s kisses had always been seductively sensual. They always coaxed her into passion, hummed through her body and created pictures she couldn’t erase. This time when Chase took her into his arms and sealed his lips to hers, there was a different quality about it. There was no coaxing. There was only male hunger and need. It thrilled her and excited her, yet it also made her fear what he might want of her. He wasn’t a half-measure man. After Eric’s affair she’d wondered what she’d done wrong. If she hadn’t given her husband enough…if she hadn’t pleased him in bed. Now that old worry came back to haunt her.

  She pulled away from Chase, needing to know what he expected before they went any further with this.

  His gaze asked why she’d pulled away.

  “We’re going to say vows Chase. I need to know what that means to you.”

  Tenderness came into his eyes as well as a gentleness she hadn’t seen there before. “Vows mean I’ll consider your interests the same way I’ll consider my own. Vows mean I’ll be faithful to you.”

  She loved Chase, and God help her, she was beginning to trust him. After Eric died, she’d sworn she’d never trust another man again.

  “We don’t have to rush into this,” Chase told her. “We can plan a fall wedding. And as far as sleeping together, I can wait until you’re ready. I want you, Jillian, but I’m not a caveman. I’m not going to force you into anything you don’t want.”

  “Thank you,” she murmured, realizing how nervous she’d been about all of it, realizing they still had to get to know each other even more, realizing the girls would have to get used to the idea, too. “I think Marianne and Abby will be happy about this.”

  After studying her face, he said, “Yes, I think they will be.”

  “What about your mother? How do you think she’s going to feel?”

  “We’ll find out when we tell her.”

  Jillian had felt as if she wanted to hug the news to herself for a little while, but they did have to make plans. Chase obviously wanted to put his claim on her and Abby.

  He brushed her hair across her brow, and he kissed her again, so deeply she thought they might drop to the ground and make love for the first time right there. His tongue teased her into full-blown desire again. Soon she was pressing into him, feeling his hard arousal.

  His hand at her waist, he untied her sash and his hand cupped her breast through her nightgown. When his thumb skimmed over the nipple, he built such a fire inside of her, she was afraid she’d explode.

  “I can’t wait to touch you all over,” he murmured as her imagination flashed pictures of his big bed, tangled sheets, a night of loving with him. Her cotton nightgown had a button at the neckline and now he opened it. Breaking off the kiss, he trailed several warm kisses down her neck and into the hollow between her breasts. His mouth was so hot on her skin.

  When he raised his head, he looked at her and grinned. “I’ll give you all the time you need, but that doesn’t mean I won’t try to convince you we should be in bed together tonight.”

  She’d seen Chase’s playful side now and then and she liked it. Finding her voice, she asked, “Don’t you think that might be a little difficult with your mother in the house?”

  “We can always go to the barn,” he suggested with a grin, buttoning her nightgown again, retying the sash on her robe.

  “The barn sounds adventurous.”

  “Wouldn’t that be a good way to start a marriage? With adventure?”

  She laughed, and he took her into his arms, holding her close. “This is the right decision, Jillian. You’ll see.”

  She didn’t know if he was trying to convince himself or her.

  As they walked back to the house, hand in hand, Jillian didn’t know when she’d felt this happy. Over the past few years, her work had satisfied her. She’d loved Abby with all her heart and soul. But happiness had seemed to elude her. Today, she felt as if it were almost in her grasp again.

  Eleanor was in the kitchen when they returned, mixing biscuits in a large bowl. “You two are out early.” Her gaze didn’t miss Jillian’s nightgown and robe and the jacket thrown over both.

  “Chase wanted to show me the sunrise.”

  “I’m up every morning before dawn, yet I don’t think to step outside to see it,” Eleanor mused. “I might have to do that tomorrow.”

  “We have something to tell you,” Chase said before Jillian could decide whether to hang up the jacket or keep it on until she reached her room upstairs and could dress.

  When Eleanor gazed at them both expectantly, she stopped stirring.

  “We’re going to get married.”

  Eleanor didn’t say anything for a few moments, then she asked, “When?”

  “In the fall,” Jillian supplied. “We haven’t set a date yet.”

  “Fall is beautiful at the vineyard.” Eleanor returned to her stirring.

  “Aren’t you going to congratulate us?” Chase asked.

  This time Eleanor put down the bowl and the wooden spoon and came over to her son and gave him a hug. Then she hugged Jillian, too. “Congratulations to both of you. I do mean that. I guess we’ll have to talk about living arrangements and—”

  “Nothing has to change.” Chase looked at Jillian and saw she agreed with that. She and Eleanor had come to a peace about living in the same house, but still…

  “It might not change for now, but I think as newlyweds, you might want to be alone,” Eleanor decided. “I had thought about renovating the carriage house for Jillian, but it might be a good place for me to live.”


  Jillian was quick to say, “We’re not going to put you out of your own house.”

  “There’s plenty of land,” Chase protested. “We could always buy a parcel from you and build our own place. We have time to think about it.”

  Speaking to Jillian, he gave her a quick kiss. “I have to get over to the winery.”

  “No breakfast?” Eleanor asked.

  “I’ll grab a few of those biscuits later.”

  And he was out the door and Jillian was alone with Eleanor.

  “I’d better get dressed,” she murmured.

  “Jillian, wait.”

  Steeling herself for what was coming, she wasn’t prepared when Eleanor said, “Don’t do this because its convenient. Convenient marriages turn into sad ones.”

  “I know they do,” she responded honestly. “I stayed married to my husband because I was pregnant, because I thought the baby should have two parents.”

  “What happened between you and your husband?”

  “Eric had an affair.”

  “Does Chase know this?”

  Jillian shook her head and wondered why she’d told Eleanor when she hadn’t told Chase. A moment later, the answer came. For whatever reason, she trusted Eleanor, maybe because she was a woman who’d known heartache of her own.

  Eleanor was studying Jillian now and finally she said, “I think we have a lot more in common than I ever suspected.”

  “My marriage to Chase won’t just be for convenience,” Jillian assured her. “I have deep feelings for him, and they’re growing stronger every day.”

  Eleanor seemed satisfied with that, went back to the cupboard and took a baking pan from where it was sitting near the canisters. “I think you’re good for him. You give him a run for his money. You don’t give him everything he wants.” Her smile was sly.

  “I made too many concessions with Eric. I know better now.”

  As Eleanor plopped mounds of dough into the pan, she revealed, “Fran wasn’t a strong woman, not strong like you are. She always deferred to Chase’s wishes. She didn’t encourage him to try new things. You do. And the truth is, I didn’t see the sizzle and pop between them that the two of you have. They were great friends and that’s necessary in a marriage, but it’s nice to have more than that, too.”

  Impulsively, Jillian went to Eleanor and hugged her.

  Eleanor asked gruffly, “What’s that for?”

  “I think I’m going to like having you for a mother-in-law.”

  “You’d better wait until you’re married a couple of years to say that.”

  The two women smiled at each other, and Jillian felt as if her life were falling into place.

  Chapter Twelve

  “I think I’d like the white roses,” Jillian said a week later as she chose the flowers she wanted in her own bridal bouquet. She and Chase were consulting with the florist and had selected roses and ivy for the arbor as well as table arrangements in an array of colors for the reception.

  Chase said, “See? You really don’t need me along for this.”

  No, she supposed she didn’t. But wasn’t that what planning a wedding was all about? The couple being partners in that, too? She’d be returning to Daytona on Friday. Would the weekend separation give her better perspective?

  She wanted to marry Chase. She loved him. But that was the problem. She loved him, and he didn’t love her. He was always respectful of her and hungry for her when they kissed. Would more come? After one marriage where love had turned to betrayal, she should be happy with this partnership of sorts.

  The florist was smiling at them. “You’ve made good choices. Now we just have to select ribbon. I’ll go get the samples.”

  “How can you stand to do this for a living?” Chase asked with a wry smile.

  She laughed. “I like choosing the details…just the right touch.”

  At the word “touch,” that deep hunger was back in his eyes and she knew it wouldn’t be long until they made love. However, once she did that, there would be no turning back. She would be handing over her heart and soul to him. She had to be absolutely sure before she surrendered her love.

  To take the conversation down a different road, she said, “I signed up the girls for nursery school in the fall.” The past week had been so busy she hadn’t told Chase she’d put that on her to-do list.

  The hunger left his eyes. “Why did you do that?”

  “Don’t you think it’s time they broadened their horizons a bit?”

  “Horizons? They have each other now. They have Mom and they have us.”

  Maybe she hadn’t told Chase because she’d known she’d meet resistance. “That’s exactly my point. They need more. I can teach them numbers and letters and colors, but they need the socialization of other children. Marianne’s been so isolated.”

  “She’s been well taken care of,” he said curtly.

  When Jillian laid her hand on his arm, her voice was gentle. “I know that. You’ve done a wonderful job with her. But at some point they start needing more than their parents.”

  “She’ll be scared to death going to a strange atmosphere.”

  “It’s a wonderful school. It’s private. I checked everyone’s references. For three-year-olds, it’s only for two hours, three times a week. It’s not as if we’re sending them off all day.”

  “We’re not sending them off anywhere. Not yet. Are you doing this because you want more time to work?”

  The fact that Chase thought she wanted to foist the girls off on someone else hurt. “No. This has nothing to do with working. It has to do with enriching their lives.”

  The florist came out of the back room then and came toward the counter, a basket with spools of ribbon on her arm. “Have you chosen a theme color for your bridesmaids?”

  A theme color wouldn’t be much of an issue. Kara would be flying in to be her maid of honor. Still they should wait until Kara chose a dress to pick flowers for her bouquet. Maybe they should wait on a lot of things.

  However, Jillian answered the florist, “I’ll get back to you after my maid of honor chooses a dress.”

  When she glanced at Chase, he wasn’t smiling. She couldn’t compromise on the things she felt were important. Would he?

  After they returned to the vineyard, he was silent and she didn’t know if he was freezing her out, or simply thinking about everything.

  At the house, they found Eleanor and the girls out back. Eleanor was transplanting flowers, and Abby and Marianne were playing in a box of dirt.

  “What are you girls doing?” Jillian asked crouching down beside them.

  “Helping Grandma,” Marianne supplied quickly, her focus intent on the mound of dirt she was patting together.

  Suddenly Chase was beside Jillian, crouching down, too. “I guess helping is fun.”

  Both girls nodded vigorously. There were dirt streaks on their cheeks and on their clothes.

  Eleanor said, “I put some of Marianne’s old clothes on them both so it didn’t matter how much dirt they smeared around everywhere.”

  Abby had a plastic Big Bird in her hand and she was making a hole in the ground for him to sit in.

  “How would you girls like to play with some other kids?” Chase asked them.

  Abby looked up at him. “I play with kids at playgwoup.”

  Jillian wasn’t going to say a word. Chase had brought it up, and she was going to let him handle it.

  “Do you like playing with other kids?”

  Abby nodded.

  “Marianne, what do you think about it?”

  When Marianne shrugged, the gesture didn’t surprise Jillian. The little girl had been sheltered.

  Abby told Marianne, “We wead stowies and play with balls.”

  Marianne tilted her head, looking intrigued. “Will Abby come, too?”

  “Yes, Abby would be there, too,” Chase answered.

  “Okay.”

  After Chase rose to his feet, he planted his hand under Jillian’s elbow
and she straightened, too. “Mom, Jillian and I have something to discuss. Are you okay here with them for a little bit longer?”

  Eleanor glanced down at her own grimy hands. “We’re fine. We have two more trays of plants, and I can always add water to their dirt and let them have some real fun.”

  As Chase guided Jillian inside, she tingled from having his hand on her arm. His forcefulness sometimes made her hackles rise but other times it simply excited her.

  Once inside the kitchen, he raked his hand through his hair. “I’m not used to you yet,” he said bluntly.

  “What do you mean?”

  “First of all, I’m not used to sharing responsibility for Marianne. I’ve made every decision where she was concerned, as you’ve done for Abby. It’s hard for me to let go of that responsibility.”

  “It’s a shared responsibility now,” Jillian reminded him softly.

  “I’m beginning to realize that.”

  “I have to tell you what I think is right.”

  “I know you do. And I want you to. Just don’t always expect me to agree right away.”

  She smiled and realized she’d done something that was second nature to him. “I should have consulted you about it first. I should have let you make some of the phone calls to check references,” she added with a smile.

  At that, his arms went around her and he caught her to him. “I think I would have delegated that back to you.”

  She could see that he was teasing, and her heart somersaulted at the look in his eyes. The next moment he was kissing her, and she was forgetting her doubts and looking forward to their wedding.

  Chase and Jillian took their time putting the girls to bed that night. After Jillian had kissed Marianne, and Chase had given Abby a hug, she could feel his eyes on her. His kiss had haunted her all day. His kiss had told her exactly what he wanted.

  As they left the girls’ room, she knew what she wanted, too.

  Gently stopping her from going down the hall with a hand on her shoulder, Chase nudged her around to face him. “How would you like to spend some alone time in the barn?”