Their Child?

by Christine Rimmer

  Something about his tone of voice and the expression on his face made her insides quiver. He had started to say something, but had obviously changed his mind. He hadn’t been rude or cold, but there was definitely a distance.

  She left his suite and walked quickly down the hall to the elevator. A few minutes later she was in her car on the way home. She had to dismiss the troublesome thoughts from her mind and concentrate on the wedding. Susan would need her help, but she had to get herself together first.

  As soon as she arrived home she took a shower, washed her hair and set it with her hot rollers. She laid out her clothes and expertly applied her makeup while keeping a close watch on the clock. But as busy as she was, her thoughts were filled with Ry Collier and not the wedding of her best friend.

  Jean finished getting ready, then hurried to the church, arriving at the same time as Susan. The two women immediately went to work. Susan’s nervousness and Jean’s desire to calm her friend temporarily took her mind off her concerns about Ry and where they were headed, but it could not totally erase her lurking fear about the possibility of their lapse in judgment resulting in her being pregnant.

  The hour of the wedding finally arrived. She had not seen Ry yet, but that was understandable. As best man he was with Bill. The groom, best man and groomsmen would enter from a side door, with the bride, maid of honor and bridesmaids entering from the back and walking up the center aisle.

  Jean beamed at her friend as she handed Susan the bridal bouquet. “You look beautiful. Without a doubt the most stunning bride to ever walk down the aisle.”

  Susan gave Jean a quick hug. “Right now I feel like my legs are going to buckle under me. This is ridiculous. I’m too old to be this kind of nervous. This is for someone who’s only twenty-one or twenty-two, not a mature woman of twenty-nine, who will be thirty years old in a couple of months.”

  “Nonsense. Everything will go perfectly.” Jean turned her head toward the door. “There’s the music. It’s time.” She straightened a twist in Susan’s veil, gave her friend a quick wink, then got in line for her entrance into the sanctuary.

  As Jean walked down the aisle, her first glimpse of Ry in his tux literally took her breath away. He looked so incredibly handsome and elegant. He was everything she had ever wanted, everything she had been searching for all her life. She had endured a miserable marriage with a man who not only cheated on her at every turn, but who treated her as if she was his property.

  She had met Jerry Summerfield during her junior year of college. The overweight, insecure Sally Jean had immediately fallen under his spell as he flattered her with empty words. She had thought she was in love with him when she accepted his marriage proposal, but less than three months later she started to suspect he was cheating on her. He had become indifferent to her and her needs and treated her more like a housekeeper than a wife. She finally came to the realization that the marriage was over even though they had been married only two years. The breaking moment had come when she returned home from work early one afternoon to find him in bed with another woman. She had filed for divorce the next day.

  And then she had survived the betrayal of a disastrous relationship following her marriage, a relationship she had thought would last forever. At that time she had sworn she would never give her heart away again. She had made her own life and become her own person, but there was still an emptiness inside her…a desire for a family of her own.

  She mechanically went through the motions of the ceremony without giving it any conscious thought. Her mind was filled with so many other things and all of them centered around Ryland Collier. When Ry took her arm for them to walk up the aisle behind the newly married bride and groom, it startled her out of her thoughts. She had been so consumed by her own concerns that she hadn’t realized the ceremony was over.

  Ry’s whispered words tickled across her cheek as he gave her hand a quick squeeze. “Funny the way things change now that it’s all legal. Susan looks relieved, but now Bill looks nervous.” A soft chuckle surrounded his words. “He’s probably just realizing what he’s gotten himself into.”

  She whispered her response. “Is that the confirmed bachelor talking?” She wasn’t sure if she was joking with him or asking a serious question. She didn’t pursue the conversation. Either way, it was not the time or the place.

  The wedding party and invited guests moved to the hotel banquet room for the reception. Everyone was in a very festive mood. There was the traditional cutting of the wedding cake and plenty of champagne.

  Ry handed a glass to Jean. She hesitated a moment, then took the offered champagne. “I don’t know if I should. I had enough of this yesterday evening to last me for quite a while.”

  His brow furrowed for a moment. His words were part concern for her feelings and part self-recrimination. “Then you do have regrets about last night.”

  “No, that’s not what I meant.”

  He chose to ignore any further implications and stop any further conversation. He didn’t want to delve into it any more than he already had, to truly examine the emotions that so terrified him. “Well, in that case…” He took the glass from her hand and set it on the table, “let’s try out the dance floor.”

  He pulled her into his arms and they began to move to the music. Somehow he had to find some place safe, something between the commitment that so terrified him and doing what he needed to do to make sure he didn’t lose her from his life again. If only he knew how to find that safe middle ground.

  He closed his eyes and rested his cheek against the top of her head as he held her tightly. Everything he wanted from life was in his arms at that moment, but how would he be able to keep it without making a commitment? His thoughts turned to what would happen following the reception. But he didn’t say anything. He continued to hold her in his arms and move to the music as memories of the intensity of their lovemaking flooded his mind.

  The music stopped and Jean pulled back from Ry, ending their dance. She glanced at her watch. “It’s about time for Susan and Bill to leave for the airport to catch their flight to Paris.” She quickly scanned the room. “Apparently everyone is gathering by the door to wish them well, throw rice and vie for the bridal bouquet.” She turned her attention to Ry. “If you’ll excuse me, I’d better see if Susan needs any help.”

  Ry held on to her hand for a moment longer, as if reluctant to turn loose of it. He finally brought it to his lips. “Of course. I’ll see you in a little bit. Maybe we could go out after the bridal couple make their getaway?”

  She hesitated before answering. “Well, I don’t know. It’s getting late and I am tired.” She glanced across the room toward Susan. “I’ll talk to you later.”

  Ry watched as Jean made her way across the large reception room toward Susan. A sinking feeling settled inside him, a feeling that told him he had not handled things as well as he should have.

  Amidst a flurry of activity and delight the bride tossed her bouquet to the crowd, then the happy couple left the reception room. The flowers landed squarely in Jean’s hands, almost as if Susan had planned it that way. Jean fought the urge to look at Ry, to see the expression on his face. She didn’t want to feel the disappointment if the expression on his face turned out to be anguish rather than pleasure at the unexpected turn of events.

  She cradled the flowers in her arms. She would take them home and keep them alive as long as she could, but she knew they would soon fade and then be gone. Was it the same with her relationship with Ry? Would it soon fade until it was only a memory of the passion that once was? She spotted Ry walking toward her. She wasn’t feeling very festive anymore.

  He eyed the flowers, but was afraid to make mention of them for fear of what they symbolized. Tradition said that whoever caught the bridal bouquet would be the next to marry. A hard band tightened across his chest and a hint of panic set in. He felt as if the walls were closing in around him and he couldn’t find his way out.

  “About going out…”
Jean nervously shifted her weight from one foot to the other. She had too many things to get straight in her mind, not the least of which was her ongoing concern about whether their lapse in good judgment would possibly result in her being pregnant. The fear continued to prey on her mind even though she had tried to shove the unlikely possibility away. “Perhaps some other time. For now, I think I’d better go on home.”

  His disappointment came out in his words. “Are you sure?”

  “Yes. I’m tired and tomorrow morning starts my work week again. I need to get a good night’s sleep.” She knew she needed sleep, but she suspected it probably wouldn’t happen.

  “I understand. I’ll call you tomorrow after you get home from work. Maybe we could have dinner then? Or if not dinner, maybe we could do something together?”

  “Sure, I’ll talk to you then.”

  An overwhelming sense of loss settled inside him as he watched her leave. It was almost like some sort of terrible premonition, as if he was watching her walk out of his life for good.

  Five

  Jean filled her coffee cup and returned to her desk. Monday was always a busy day for her. As manager of the personnel department at Jarvis Custom Furniture she had numerous reports that had to be filed and all the group health insurance claims to handle. She disliked dealing with the group insurance, but it was part of her job like so many other responsibilities that had been shoved on her. There were days when the personnel department almost seemed like a catch-all location when people didn’t know what to do with things.

  When she first went to work for Matt Jarvis the company had only thirty employees, but during the ensuing years the company’s business had quickly grown to the point where there were now over three hundred full-time employees and another fifty part-time workers. What had been just Jean and one assistant handling all the office functions had become a separate personnel department with six employees in addition to Jean as the manager, which didn’t include the accounting department, the purchasing department, several secretaries and a receptionist. Although she appreciated Matt’s confidence in her capabilities, she had to admit that there were times when she felt he was taking advantage of her willingness to take on whatever new tasks he threw her way.

  She leaned back in her chair, took a sip of her hot coffee and closed her eyes. She had spent a very unsettled night with her thoughts and feelings vacillating between the euphoric memories of the lovemaking she and Ry had shared and her fears about the seeming distance in his voice, all of it compounded by her continued concern about the possibility of being pregnant…remote as she hoped that possibility was. When they had danced at the wedding reception nothing else mattered to her other than the warmth and contentment she found in his arms. But when the physical contact wasn’t there her worries and fears would again try to take over. Her uncertainty about Ry’s feelings toward her, combined with her growing concern about the possibly of being pregnant, left her confused and uneasy about what to do and what to think.

  “Jean, do you have a few minutes?”

  Matt Jarvis’s voice drew her out of her thoughts. She looked up and her gaze immediately locked on Ry Collier standing next to Matt. The shock stunned her senses and left her momentarily speechless. Her astonishment at seeing Ry matched the surprised expression on his face. A little spark of panic tried to ignite deep inside her. Was this the four week project he had mentioned? Had Matt Jarvis hired him to overhaul Jarvis Custom Furniture? Was Ry Collier in a position to create havoc with her job as well as her personal life?

  A sinking feeling settled in the pit of her stomach and stayed there. Every fiber of her being told her nothing good could come of this. Too many people had tried to control too many aspects of her life. First her grandmother, whose ultra strict, puritanical ways had prevented her from having many friends or participating in any activities while she was in school. Then her husband who demanded from her and never gave of himself, even though she had a full-time job outside the home. And finally her ill-fated love affair following her divorce. The man who at first seemed so perfect had managed to manipulate her into a position where he had isolated her from her friends and had her believing it was to her benefit. All of them had tried to control her life. After she had divorced herself from her husband and her cold grandmother and battled back from the depths of the disastrous relationship that followed, she had vowed she would never allow someone else to have that kind of control over her life again. Was Ry in a position to have that type of control? She tried to swallow her rising trepidation.

  “Yes, of course. What can I do for you, Matt?” Her voice didn’t contain the confidence she had hoped it would. A nervous anxiety jittered through her body.

  “I’d like to introduce you to Ry Collier. He’s a consultant I’ve hired to study all our manufacturing and office procedures and make recommendations for streamlining the department operations, improving our efficiency and instituting some cost-cutting measures. He’ll be here for the next four weeks. This week we’ll be floating from department to department to check the overall flow and operations, then he’ll spend several days in each individual department studying the procedures being used.”

  Why hadn’t Ry told her it was Jarvis Custom Furniture he was evaluating? At least she could have mentally prepared herself for his arrival on the scene. Is that what his attentions over the past week were leading up to? Was his sole purpose in pursuing her nothing more than making sure he had an ally on the inside to support his recommendations? Did he think he could bulldoze his way over her and get what he wanted?

  She took a steadying breath. That was ridiculous. She had to rein in her rampaging wild speculations before they got totally out of control. She tried to hide her anxiety. She didn’t want Matt Jarvis to know how totally out of control one of his department heads was at that moment. And she certainly didn’t want Ry to know how much his appearance at her job had unsettled her.

  “I see.” She wasn’t sure how to handle the fact that she and Ry knew each other. Ry had made no mention of it when Matt had introduced them. She decided to do the same, at least until she could figure out exactly what his angle was in not having confided in her ahead of time. Was her job in jeopardy? Was her career about to be derailed? She needed some answers from Ry—some serious answers.

  Matt turned to Ry and extended his hand. “You’ve met all the department heads now, so if you’ll excuse me I have a meeting to attend. I’m going to leave you in Jean’s capable hands. Whatever you need, she’ll be able to take care of it for you. I’ll see you later.”

  Ry shook hands with Matt. “Thanks.” He gave a quick sideways glance at Jean and a wink. “I’m sure she’ll be a great help.”

  Jean watched Matt until he turned the corner and was out of sight. After taking a quick look around her office to make sure no one could hear her, she shot an uncertain stare toward Ry. “What are you doing here? Why didn’t you tell me this was the four-week assignment you had accepted?”

  He cocked his head and looked at her questioningly, his eyes seeming to search for any hint of what was going on inside her head. “For starters, you didn’t ask me. You also didn’t tell me you worked for Jarvis Custom Furniture. But either way, why should it make a difference? This is my job, it’s what I do for a living and I’m very good at it. I can assure you that I’ll treat you and everyone else who works here fairly and impartially. My only request is that our personal situation remain our private business. I don’t want anyone else to perceive our knowing each other as something to be either a benefit or detriment to the business at hand.”

  Something about the way he had said treat you fairly and impartially sent a tremor of anxiety through her body. She recalled something he had said, something that was almost a throwaway-type of comment that didn’t have any significance at the time. It had to do with his unhappy childhood relationship with his father which had been responsible for his drive to become a success. Did that drive to succeed take precedence over everything el
se? Was it the reason he was a professed confirmed bachelor? That he didn’t have any room in his life for anything that would distract from his drive to succeed at business?

  She nervously toyed with her coffee cup, then took another sip before responding. “Yes, I agree that any prior connection between us should remain our business and no one else’s, including Matt.”

  “Good.” He sat on the edge of her desk, reached out and ran his fingertips across the back of her hand, then gave it a quick squeeze. “Now, before I get down to work let’s take care of one little bit of personal business. I’ll pick you up at seven o’clock tonight for dinner. We’ll go someplace casual. How does Italian food grab you?”

  The second he initiated the physical contact between them, every fear and concern flew out of her head. Her words came out in a breathless whisper. “Seven will be fine and I love Italian food.”

  “Good. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to get to work. As Matt said, this first week I’ll be floating around the offices and the plant to observe the overall operational flow. I’ll see you later.”

  Jean watched as he left her office. A sinking nervousness poked inside her. She tried to put it aside. Before she started on her daily routine, she gathered her staff and informed them about Ry’s presence and what he would be doing over the next four weeks.

  She saw Ry a few times during the course of the day, but it was always on an official business level. He ate in the lunchroom with the rest of the employees, but had chosen a table by himself and appeared to be making notes and working while eating. He seemed so intense, so absorbed in his work. Was this the real Ry Collier? The man who controlled everything around him? Including her future?

  About midafternoon Ry retreated to a small office Matt had provided for his use during his four-week stay. He poured a cup of coffee, then settled in at the desk. He made notes on what he had observed, prepared questions he would be asking the next day and began to assimilate the information into the overall structure of his final report.