Their Child?

by Christine Rimmer

  He glanced toward the office door, then pulled her into his arms. “I’ll miss you. Would it be okay if I stop by on my way to the airport this evening? Maybe around six o’clock?”

  “Yes, I’d like that.”

  He placed a soft kiss on her lips, then straightened up and became all business again. “Now, I need to go back to work.”

  The day passed surprisingly quick for Jean, but whenever she had a lull her thoughts would immediately turn to Ry and what the future held for her. The surge of panic that instantly swept through her when Ry said he was returning to Chicago…well, that certainly said it all. She was hopelessly in love with him and couldn’t imagine what life would be like without Ry Collier.

  Then a far greater concern shoved aside those thoughts. What if she really was pregnant? How would she tell Ry? What would he say and do? She counted on her fingers how many days it had been since they had made love without taking precautions and calculated when her period should begin. How soon could she use a home pregnancy test? She didn’t know anything about them. Perhaps she should stop by the drugstore on her way home from work. She didn’t need to buy one, but she could read the information on the package which would hopefully tell her how soon she could take the test and have it be viable. She tried to shake away the disturbing thought, but it wouldn’t totally leave her consciousness. With each passing day it had become a more disturbing thought. She forced herself back to work.

  Ry left Jarvis Custom Furniture at about four o’clock and Jean departed work an hour later. She almost pulled into the parking lot of the drugstore on her way home, but at the last moment changed her mind. She was being foolish. She couldn’t be pregnant, she simply couldn’t be. She gathered her determination and confidence. She was obviously allowing her anxiety to get too much of a foothold and she needed to put an immediate stop to it.

  She took care of a couple of other errands and finally arrived home a little before six o’clock. As soon as she had changed clothes her doorbell rang. She opened the door to Ry.

  “I only have a few minutes. I just didn’t want to leave without seeing you. I have a quick meeting with my attorney first thing in the morning, then a meeting later in the morning at my office. It’s a meeting that could go all day and even carry over to Saturday.”

  Jean wasn’t sure what to think or say. “Are…are you in some sort of trouble? Is there anything I can do to help?”

  He wrapped his arms around her and flashed a confident smile. “No, it’s nothing like that. Just a business problem that I thought was resolved, but it reared its ugly head again. It’s a nuisance, nothing more. Everything will be fine. I’ll give you a call when I get back.” He placed a soft kiss on her lips. “Let’s go somewhere Saturday night…whatever you want to do.”

  “That sounds good to me. I’ll see you then.”

  Ry stayed about fifteen minutes longer, putting off his trip to the airport until the last possible minute. Jean watched as he drove down the street. Even though he said he’d only be gone for a day or two, she suddenly felt so alone. What would happen in three weeks when his work assignment was over? Would he be gone for good? Was it possible to carry on a long distance relationship? Relationship…there was that word again. Did they have a relationship beyond the here and now? She didn’t know. It was a realization that left her both sad and uneasy.

  She did a few things at home that evening, chores that had been put on hold because most of her spare time over the past two weeks had been spent with Ry. She went through the motions, but her mind wasn’t with it. All her thoughts were centered on Ry and what type of future they had. And never far from the forefront of her thoughts was the possibility of her being pregnant—a notion that had at first been remote but had became more frightening each time she thought of it.

  Jean’s Friday workday was finally over and it was officially the weekend. She looked around her living room. It seemed so quiet and empty. Would Ry be back that evening or would it be Saturday before she saw him? Her thoughts were interrupted by her doorbell. She opened the door to find a woman she’d never seen before, but one who didn’t look as if she was selling anything or taking a survey.

  “Yes? May I help you?”

  An uneasy feeling settled in the pit of Jean’s stomach in response to the way the other woman was looking her over, as if checking her out. When the woman didn’t respond to her question, Jean spoke up. “Who are you and what do you want?”

  “I’m Marjorie Collier…Mrs. Ryland Collier.” She scrutinized Jean again. A cruel and sardonic laugh escaped her throat. “Humph…Ry usually has better taste than this. I guess you must have been handy and very accommodating.”

  The shock almost knocked Jean’s legs out from under her. Her heart pounded in her chest and she was momentarily speechless. “You’re…you’re Mrs. Ryland Collier? Ry’s married?”

  “As if you didn’t know.”

  “I didn’t know.” A sick feeling churned in the pit of Jean’s stomach as her insides twisted into knots. Not again. This couldn’t be happening to her…not again. She had been down this road before and now she was going to have to tread that same path one more time? The relationship she had following her divorce had seemed as if it was leading somewhere…until she had been confronted by the man’s wife. The realization that he had lied to her about being married had been far more devastating than her miserable marriage.

  Jean forced the horrible memories aside, finally making room for her logical thought process to return. Susan had specifically mentioned at the prewedding get-acquainted party that Ry was single. Whoever this woman was, she certainly couldn’t be Ry’s wife.

  Jean leveled a steady gaze at Marjorie even though it was far removed from the almost unbearable panic shooting around inside her. “And I still don’t know that he’s married. I’m afraid that it will take a lot more than some stranger standing at my door to convince me of that.”

  “Really?” Marjorie opened her purse and produced her driver’s license showing her name as Marjorie Collier. “I think this should satisfy any doubts you have.”

  “The only thing that will satisfy me is hearing it directly from Ry in person.”

  “I guess he didn’t even bother to tell you. He went back to Chicago yesterday.”

  Jean’s outer manner remained confident and defiant, her words said as a challenge. “If he’s gone home, then why are you here rather than in Chicago?”

  The sarcasm dripped from Marjorie’s words. “It’s just one of the little chores I always have to do. I’m the one who cleans up after Ry’s numerous little escapades.”

  “I don’t know who put you up to this, but there’s nothing here that needs cleaning up. Go peddle your malicious trash somewhere else!” Jean slammed the door in Marjorie’s face. Her insides twisted into hard knots to the point where she felt physically ill. Her legs turned wobbly and her hands trembled. She grabbed the edge of the fireplace mantel for support. Could it possibly be true? Had Ry been deceiving her from the moment Susan introduced them at the party? Had he managed to fool Susan and Bill, too?

  She swallowed the sick feeling rising in her throat. It couldn’t be true. It simply couldn’t. Whoever this Marjorie Collier was and whatever her game was, she couldn’t be Ry’s wife. But as much as she wanted to believe her own words, Marjorie’s claim had left a hole in her belief of what was true and what wasn’t.

  Jean sank into the softness of the large floor pillows in front of the fireplace, the same pillows where she and Ry had made love so passionately just a few days ago. She thought back over the past two weeks, of all the time they had spent together. Was this how it would all end? Self-doubt flooded through her consciousness. Ry told her he would be back, but would he?

  The hotel—certainly he wouldn’t pack up everything he had brought for a five week stay and check out just to be gone one night or two at the most. She could call the hotel and see if he was still registered. She dismissed the idea as quickly as it had come to her. It was
a ridiculous thought. It would be like spying on him. She tried to pull her confidence together. Of course Ry would be back. He had a job to finish at Jarvis Custom Furniture. Whoever this Marjorie was, she obviously didn’t know that his work assignment in Seattle still had three weeks to go.

  The logical realization went a long way toward easing her mind, but did not completely drive away the doubts Marjorie had planted there. What if he really was married? In an almost involuntary action her hand went to her abdomen. And what if she was pregnant with his child? What had been a simple fear had suddenly become a very complex one. If what Marjorie said was true, then it would no longer be a matter of how to tell Ry if she was pregnant. It would be a matter of whether to tell him at all.

  The troublesome thoughts continued to circulate through her mind. Her heart wanted to believe that Marjorie was just some kind of nut, but that didn’t explain how Marjorie knew to come to her front door. How would she have known that Jean’s relationship with Ry was far more than merely business? Would Ry have told Marjorie about their relationship? Told Marjorie where she lived? And how would she have known that Ry flew back to Chicago yesterday? She shook her head as she tried to bring some control to her escalating fears.

  If she truly loved Ry she should trust him, but she had been down that road before. A shiver of trepidation accompanied by the memory of the pain she had suffered told her what she didn’t want to know. Her insides twisted into knots. She didn’t want to repeat the horrible inevitability although she knew she was already far too emotionally involved with Ry to escape unscathed. Remembrances of her ill-fated relationship with a married man filled her thoughts.

  Following her divorce she had become involved with a man she thought was absolutely wonderful. He doted on her, treated her with kindness and affection. It was so different from her miserable marriage. She had probably become so deeply involved with him to the point of it being an intense affair because he was so different from her ex-husband. She believed she had finally found the happiness that had eluded her all her life.

  But she had been so wrong. She even accepted the way he had distanced her from her friends so that he was the primary person in her life.

  She would never forget that awful day when his wife came to her door, much in the same way as Marjorie had that evening. The woman informed Jean that she had been dating a married man—her husband. She showed Jean pictures of the two of them with their three children, the most recent photo having been taken just two weeks prior. And on top of that, his wife was obviously pregnant.

  Jean was mortified and embarrassed. She didn’t know what to say to the woman other than to repeat over and over again that she had no idea he was married. When Jean confronted her lover with the information, he behaved in a very blasé manner saying his marriage didn’t have anything to do with them and their relationship. That terrible moment still lived inside her. The hurt had surged through her long after the affair was over, while her anger seethed inside. First a disastrous marriage, then a cruel betrayal by a man she trusted and believed in.

  It had been a lesson learned the hard way, but one well learned. She had vowed to never lose her heart again, never to allow anyone to be able to hurt her the way she had been hurt. So, how could she explain the predicament she was in at that moment? Once again she had been confronted by a woman claiming to be the wife of a man she loved, with the added stress this time of the possibility that Jean might be pregnant with his child. Tears welled in her eyes. She quickly blinked them away and gathered her determination. Whatever happened, she had to take responsibility for her own actions and for her life. Then the tears slowly trickled down her cheeks accompanied by a cold chill.

  What if Ry really was married? How would she ever be able to trust anyone again? And what would her life be like if she had to spend the rest of her years always wondering if someone was lying to her? And if she was pregnant…how could she raise a child if her entire life was built on not trusting anyone? What kind of values were those to pass on to a child?

  The sick churning in the pit of her stomach tried to work its way up her throat. She suddenly felt so very alone…alone and afraid.

  She wanted to be angry—angry with Ry for betraying her and angry with herself for once again falling for the wrong man. But the anger refused to materialize. All she felt was the pain.

  Seven

  Jean stared at the results of the home pregnancy test. Her insides twisted into hard knots and her throat tightened. She shook her head. There had to be some sort of mistake. It couldn’t be true, it just couldn’t. Regardless of how concerned she had been about this, how much it had occupied her thoughts, the unbelievable results still shocked her and caught her unprepared for the reality. She had taken three tests and all three said the same thing. She was pregnant with Ry’s child.

  She had spent a night of turmoil after Marjorie left. Dark thoughts and fears swirled through her dreams. To be pregnant would create enough problems, but if Ry was married her problems would be multiplied to the point where she wasn’t sure how she would be able to handle them. Had Ry been deceiving her all along? Was the story he told her about what had happened with the prom fifteen years ago nothing more than empty words to appease her? Had she been handed the final and most devastating humiliation and betrayal?

  She had gone to the drugstore as soon as she woke Saturday morning. She looked over all the different types of home pregnancy tests, reading the information printed on the outside of the boxes. She had chosen three tests from three different manufacturers.

  She stared at the used paraphernalia scattered on the bathroom counter from all three tests she had taken. All three had produced the same results. Her throat tightened. Her mouth felt dry as cotton. Perhaps the tests were flawed. It was one of the newer types of tests that said she could get ninety-nine percent accurate results four days sooner than the tests that required her to wait until the day after her period was supposed to start.

  Ninety-nine percent wasn’t one hundred percent. There was still that one percent margin for error. She would wait four days and try it again, this time choosing different tests. She knew she was grasping at straws. Deep down inside she suspected the outcome would be the same. And if it was she would make an appointment with her doctor, but that wouldn’t change the truth.

  Jean wandered aimlessly into the living room and sank into the couch. She was so confused. She didn’t know what or who to believe. She desperately needed to see Ry. She stared at the phone trying to silently will it to ring, to have the caller be Ry telling her he was back in town. He would be able to explain everything. He would make everything okay. A cold chill shot up her spine. Explaining Marjorie was one thing, but that wouldn’t fix the fact that she was pregnant. That wouldn’t change how drastically her life was about to be altered, and possibly Ry’s, too.

  She stared at the phone, but nothing happened. It remained silent…a silence that soon became deafening and all-too-painful to endure. The sick churning returned to the pit of her stomach, then tried to work its way up her throat. She couldn’t be experiencing morning sickness. It was definitely too soon for that. It had to be stress—stress combined with fear and panic. She went to the bathroom to clean up the pieces of the pregnancy tests. Her hand visibly shook as she reached for an empty box. The sick churning increased. She swallowed several times in an attempt to make it go away.

  She gathered her determination and cleaned up the mess. She tried to concentrate on other things, but nothing helped. Saturday was already half gone without a call from Ry. Jean had picked up the phone several times to call the hotel, but each time had replaced the receiver without dialing. What was nervous anxiety had turned into full-blown panic.

  She tried to pull her logical thoughts together. She needed to deal with this unexpected turn of events one step at a time. First she had to talk to Ry about Marjorie, about what Marjorie had told her. She could not address the pregnancy until his marital status was clarified. In her heart she kn
ew it couldn’t be true, he couldn’t be married. But it was an issue she could not ignore, the repeat of a horrible episode from her past she thought she would never have to live through again.

  She picked up a book and tried to concentrate on reading, but it was no use. She glanced at the clock every few minutes only to be disappointed at the way time seemed to be standing still.

  It was almost six o’clock that evening before the ringing phone broke the uncomfortable silence that surrounded her. Her heart pounded as she grabbed the receiver. It had to be Ry…it just had to be.

  “Hello.”

  “Hi. I just arrived at the hotel.”

  Nothing had ever sounded so good to her as he did at that moment. She tried to force a calm to her voice, to keep her rampaging anxiety and panic under control until she could sit down with Ry face-to-face and talk this out.

  “I…uh…was beginning to think you might not be coming back.” She emitted a chuckle in an attempt to keep the conversation casual, hoping it didn’t sound as strained as it felt. “But then I remembered you still had three weeks of your work assignment before you were finished with the contract.”

  He allowed a soft laugh. “Well, I have to admit that I didn’t think I’d be gone this long. The meeting ended up being all day Friday and most of today before we had everything resolved. I left the wrap up details to my attorney and my office manager and caught the next flight back to Seattle.”

  His voice turned serious. “Have you already had dinner? Is it too late to do whatever it is you had planned for tonight?”

  Plans for Saturday night—between Marjorie’s unsettling visit and the disturbing results of the pregnancy tests, she had completely forgotten that he had asked her if she would make plans for them for Saturday night.

  “I didn’t make any plans. I was afraid you might not be back in time to do something that required a specific start time and I didn’t know how tired you’d be. So, the evening is open.”