by E. L. Todd
Then I felt my body collide with something. The sensation was strong and unforgiving. Did I fall off the bed? Or was that the last feeling before you died? I tried to open my eyes like I had so many times before, but this time it actually worked.
Where was I?
The sound of waves hitting the shore came to my ears. Sea gulls cried overhead, and the distinct smell of salt was in my nose. The air felt cool, like the breeze from the waves moved through my hair. The pain was back, and in full force. But the place felt peaceful.
I looked around, squinting my eyes in the light. I recognized the walls and the furniture. It was the yacht I’d taken Scarlet on a few months ago. Two margaritas were on the table with two pink umbrellas. The ice cubes hadn’t melted yet.
When I turned my head, I saw Scarlet’s back. She wore her purple bikini with a thin dress on top. It was see-through, and I could see the color of her skin through the patches.
Was that really her? Was I in heaven? If I was, why was she there? “Scarlet?”
She turned around and faced me, and she seemed just as surprised to see me. She moved closer to me, almost unsure if she should approach me. Her eyes took me in like she was memorizing me, trying to understand if this was real.
Was it real?
She cupped my face and looked deep into my eyes. “Come back to me.” Her hands moved to my shoulders, and I could feel her touch. It felt so real, so solid. I could feel the burn of salt on my lungs every time I took a breath. I could smell her hair, the scent of vanilla. And when our hands touched, I could feel her pulse.
“Promise me you’ll fight for me.” Emotion was heavy in her eyes, and she looked desperate and broken.
Was I alive? Where was I now? Was this real? Or was it a vision?
“Give me your word you will do everything to come back to me.”
I wanted to fade away and end the pain. I wanted to go where my body took me, to peace. But when I looked at my wife and saw the beauty of her face, I realized I didn’t want to leave. I had to stay. I had to fight. But I didn’t have the energy. I didn’t have the strength. “Kiss me.”
Her eyes shifted in confusion before she obeyed. Her warm lips pressed against mine, and it felt too real to be a dream. It felt too real to be something I made up. I felt every inch of her skin, and I could feel her breath fill me.
And then she disappeared. I was pulled away, traveling to a place I couldn’t see. I felt like I was flying, moving quicker than a jet. Then my body collided with something like it had the first time. I felt like I was dropped on my back with a loud thud. Then I heard voices again.
“Okay, he’s stabilized,” the doctor said. “Let’s keep him that way.”
The monitor beeped with a regular sound.
“His blood pressure is going up,” the nurse said.
“O2 is good,” another woman said.
“Heart rate is going down,” the doctor said. “Come on, Mr. Preston. Keep doing whatever it is you’re doing.”
I was fighting.
That’s what I was doing.
Chapter Six
Scarlet
I jolted awake and tried to catch my breath. The salt disappeared from my nose and Sean’s lips were no longer pressed to mine. It was a dream but it didn’t feel like one. I’d never had such a vivid encounter in my life.
“You’re alright.” Ryan grabbed my shoulder and rubbed me gently. “Just a bad dream.”
I sat up and pulled my hair from my face. “How long was I asleep?”
He eyed his watch. “Five minutes…”
It felt a lot longer than that. “Are you sure?”
“Positive.” He watched me with careful eyes, like he thought I might go off the deep end.
I breathed in the city air and felt the breeze move through my hair. The sun was gone and it didn’t feel like I was ever in Greece.
My brother continued to rub my shoulder. “Scarlet, I know this is hard but we need to go inside. We’ve been out here for a long time. As much as you want to run away, you can’t. But I’ll be beside you the entire time.”
Reality flooded back to me, and I realized everything was just a dream. My moment with Sean was just my imagination. I never kissed him. I never touched him. It was all my sub-conscious.
I didn’t want to go back inside but I had to face the truth. I wanted to cower away and figure out how to end my own life but I couldn’t do that. Sean and I made a family together, and I had to love and support them—even if he wasn’t around anymore. I had a son and a daughter I made with him, and they were our legacy. I shouldn’t be outside in the dark when they needed me. They were scared just like I was. I nodded to my brother.
He gave me a look full of pride. “You can do this.” He stood up and helped me to my feet. Then, hand-in-hand, we walked back inside the hospital. Numb like before, I moved along and didn’t feel anything. My husband wasn’t going to make it and I was going to be a widow at such a young age. I still had a lifetime to live, but I wouldn’t spend it with him.
We returned to the waiting area, and miraculously, I didn’t burst into tears. I saw all of their scared faces and knew they were just as terrified as I was. I wasn’t the only person suffering. I had a room full of people that shared the same pain. They all loved Sean just as much as I did.
“Mom, where did you go?” Skye moved to her feet, her eyes still puffy.
“I just…needed some air.”
Mike eyed me with a miserable look on his face like he already knew what was going on.
“Mom, what did the nurse say?” Skye came closer to me, desperation on her face. “Is Dad going to be okay?”
Roland stared at me from his spot, hope in his eyes.
Ryan moved behind me and placed both of his hands on my shoulders, giving me a squeeze of support. Then he stood off to the side.
Skye stared at me expectedly, wanting me to tell her everything would be okay.
How did I do this? How did I say the words? How could I watch my children fall apart right before my eyes? “Your father is…” I couldn’t do this. I couldn’t say it. Then it would be true. “He’s…”
Skye’s eyes watered. “No…”
I tried to stay strong. “He—”
“Mrs. Preston, I need to speak to you.” The doctor appeared out of the hallway, his facemask around his neck and his gloves on.
I turned to him as the agony pooled in my stomach. I knew what he was going to say. The words hadn’t been spoken but I knew they were true. How could I listen to them? How could I accept that my soul mate was gone?
I stepped closer to him and tried not to sob. “Yes?”
He grabbed my elbow and pulled me off to the side. “Your husband has stabilized. We thought we were going to lose him for a moment…we were certain we would…but he somehow came back. It’s a miracle. I’ve been practicing medicine for a long time and I’ve never seen anything like it.”
I couldn’t process his words. I heard them but didn’t really understand them. “What?”
He was patient with me. “He’s finished with surgery and he’s stabilized. We’re keeping a close eye on him but we think he’s going to recover. We’re transferring him to ICU as we speak.”
My jaw dropped and my eyes widened. Did I make that up in my head? Did I replace his real words with what I wanted to hear as a defense mechanism? Was Sean going to be all right? “He’s…going to be okay?”
“I can’t promise anything but I’m optimistic. He hasn’t gone into cardiac arrest for nearly thirty minutes. I think he’s going to recover.” He patted my elbow. “I wanted to give you the news as soon as possible.” He gave me a smile.
I started to breathe hard again, like I was about to cry. “He’s alive?”
“Yes.”
I covered my face with my palms and felt the tears fall. “He’s alive…he’s alive.”
The doctor watched me with joy in his eyes. “Yes. He’s alive. You can see him soon. Only a few visitors at a time. We d
on’t want to stress him out and allow him to heal.”
I couldn’t believe this was real. “Thank you so much.” I hugged him because I didn’t know what else to do. “Thank you so much. You’re getting the biggest Christmas gift this year.”
He chuckled slightly then patted my back. “Just doing my job, ma’am.” He stepped back then walked away.
My hands stopped shaking and joy flooded through my heart. My husband wasn’t leaving me. I didn’t have to grow old without him. I didn’t have to watch our grandchildren age without him. I wasn’t a widow.
I turned back to the waiting room and felt winded. I felt lighter than air, like I could be swept off my feet by the wind. My breathing hadn’t slowed down and my heart wouldn’t stop pounding.
They all stared at me, wondering what the doctor had said.
Skye clutched her hands together against her chest in preparation.
Roland held hands with Heath as he waited for me to speak.
Mike looked like he was on the verge of tears.
“He’s okay…” My voice broke with emotion. “He’s going to be okay.”
Skye closed her eyes and tears fell down her face.
“Thank god.” Roland fell to his knees and covered his face. “Oh, thank god.”
Mike finally let his tears fall and quickly wiped them away like it never happened.
Sean’s parents both released their tears before their smiles emerged.
“He’s going to be alright?” Ryan came close to me and hugged me.
“The doctor said he wouldn’t stop coding and then…he just stopped. He said he couldn’t describe it. It was a miracle.”
“I told you he would be fine,” Ryan said. “Nothing can stop that guy from being with you.”
I rested my face against his chest and let my tears fall.
But they were happy tears.
Chapter Seven
Sean
Darkness had settled behind my eyes for so long I wasn’t sure if I was alive or dead. But I heard the beeping monitor in the background so I assumed my heart was still beating. There were no voices so I assumed I was alone.
My eyes felt heavy, either because I was exhausted or I was still on anesthesia. Every time I tried to open my eyes they felt too heavy, like there was an invisible weight on them.
Then I felt the distant touch of fingers against my hands. They were slender and long, and there was something noticeable on one, like a ring. They were clearly feminine, and there were only two possibilities of who it could be. It was either Scarlet or Skye.
My eyelids finally rose, and my vision was blurry. I couldn’t make anything out except the distinct shape of a woman’s head. She had long brown hair and slender shoulders. It was difficult to tell who it was.
After I blinked a few times, my vision cleared. Within seconds, Scarlet came into my vision. When I looked at her face, I saw the puffiness of her eyes. They were swollen and large, much different than they normally were. Her blue eyes had faded to a dull color, and her hair looked messy and unkempt. In her eyes I could see the devastation, like she lost me even though I was right there.
My heart ached as I looked at the pain I put her through. It was obvious she’d been to hell and back. My fingers moved against hers as I took her in. Then I cleared my throat. “Baby…”
Her eyes immediately moistened on cue. They welled up with tears. Her lip trembled slightly like there was a flood of emotion she was trying to keep back. Even though I was okay, she was a complete mess. She started to sob uncontrollably, like she couldn’t handle everything that happened.
My eyes pooled with tears. “I’m alright, baby.” I gently pulled her toward me. I’d like to pick her up and lay her across me but I was just too weak. “I’m okay. Everything is okay.”
She took deep breaths as she tried to clear the tears. “I know…I’m sorry.” She sniffed then wiped her tears away. “I was okay until you opened your eyes…I was afraid you wouldn’t.”
“Come here.” I pulled her toward my bed.
She didn’t leave her chair.
“Come here.” I wish I could express more command in my voice but my body didn’t have enough energy.
It was a testament to her emotion when she moved to the spot next to me and wrapped her arms around my neck. My wife was always the logical one, playing by the rules. But it was clear she didn’t give a damn about that right now. She robbed into my neck and held me tightly like I might slip away.
Hearing her cry was heartbreaking. And it made me cry too. One hand hooked around her tiny waist and I moved the other into her hair. Her strands were soft just like they used to be. I felt the tears land on my skin, feeling warm. “Shh…it’s okay.”
“I almost lost you. The doctor said you weren’t going to make it.”
“Well, I did.” I kissed her shoulder as I held her. “I would never leave you.”
She held onto me tightly, her hands anchoring to me. “I was so scared I was going to lose you…”
“I’m sorry.” I hated to think about what I put her through. And when I thought about my kids it made me feel worse. “I wasn’t thinking and I should have been more careful.”
“No,” she whispered. “You did the right thing. You saved our son.”
My hand moved up her slender back, feeling the curve between her hips. “I’m here now. You don’t need to be scared anymore.”
“Now I know how you felt when you almost lost me…”
It was a time I didn’t like to think about. “Nothing can keep us away from each other.” I pulled her head down and pressed my lips against her forehead. I left my mouth there for a long time, treasuring the touch I loved to give her.
That only made her sob harder. She clung to me and she cried her heart out. All the trauma she experienced pooled into me. Scarlet wasn’t the type of woman to cry. She was always calm and logical. When things got tough, she was always pragmatic. The normal thing she would do is smile at me and make a joke. But her reaction was very different. I knew she hit her limit, that she felt so much pain her body couldn’t handle it. And I knew I needed to be there for her.
I kept my arms around her as she cried into my neck. And I let her cry as much as she needed to.
***
Scarlet finally calmed down an hour later. Her breathing was still heavy but her tears subsided. She kept her hold on me, refusing to let go. I could only imagine what she’d endured. She thought she was going to lose me, and just the possibility of never seeing me again was enough to crush her.
I knew exactly how she felt because I went through the same thing.
I was surprised the rest of my family hadn’t stepped into the room. They probably wanted to give us privacy before they entered. I was grateful they did because Scarlet needed me. Only I could make her better. She had to understand I was alive and I wasn’t going anywhere.
I shifted her onto the bed and had her cuddle with me. My wound was on the opposite side of my back and she wasn’t near it. I maneuvered her to my chest and wrapped my arm around her waist. I was in a little pain but it wasn’t enough to move her away. I moved my hand through her hair, comforting her like I usually did during our nights at home.
The door cracked open and Ryan poked his head inside.
Scarlet’s eyes were closed but she continued to grip me tightly.
I held up my hand to him and silently asked him for more time. Scarlet wasn’t ready to share me with anyone yet.
Ryan nodded then shut the door again.
Scarlet stirred at the sound of the click. “What was that?”
“Nothing.” I kissed her forehead. “Just the monitor.”
She propped herself up on one elbow and examined me like she’d never really seen me before until now. The sadness was still in her eyes, like I might slip away from her at any second.
“I’m not going anywhere,” I whispered.
“The doctor told me you weren’t going to make it…I fell apart afterwards.”
<
br /> I could only imagine. “But that didn’t happen.”
She rested her hand on my chest and rubbed me slightly. “I did something terrible…”
I couldn’t picture Scarlet ever doing anything terrible. She was the most selfless person I knew. “I highly doubt that.”
“I…” She released a deep sigh before she spoke. “When they told me the news, I ran out of the hospital. I just couldn’t face our family after that. Ryan came after me and he held me as we sat together on a bench…and I told him I would kill myself if you died.”
My hand flinched in her hair before it continued moving. “We all say things we don’t mean when we’re scared.”
“But that’s the thing…I did mean it.” Her eyes filled with shame. “We have two amazing kids and all I could think about was following you wherever you went…what kind of mother am I?”
“An amazing one.” My fingers moved to her chin. “I don’t judge you for saying that. I would be lying if I said the same thought hadn’t crossed my mind. But neither one of us would actually do it, not when we had children. So don’t beat yourself up over it.”
“But I did say it…”
“Saying something and doing it are two different things.” I tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.
“Then I had this dream…” Her eyes looked dazed, like she was thinking of something far away. “I know I was out of my mind because my thoughts were unusual.”
“What did you dream about?”
“I dreamt of you…I asked you to stay with me. I asked you to fight to keep living.”
My hand stilled in her hair then immediately fell. My eyes widened while I examined her and my heart rate picked up. My breathing became labored. It was the same dream I had, where she asked me to continue living.
Scarlet caught my surprise. “What?”
“Tell me more about this dream.”