Kiss of Souls
Page 34
Callen didn’t doubt it. “Then you’ll always be my brother, Chris. I know that she needed you all those years ago, and you needed her. It’s hard to live alone and not feel empty. I know. I did it for a very long time.”
“I’m not IN love with her. I just love her.”
And that made all the difference in the world.
Callen held out his hand.
Chris took it. “You’re safe here. I trust you both, and I will never kick you out.”
Yeah, but Ethan…
Elizabeth had to know. “Did Ethan really send you?” she asked. “You talked to him? Is he okay?”
God!
She had so many questions.
While Callen could answer them, it wasn’t the same. She needed a neutral party. She needed her best friend. He wouldn’t bullshit her.
Never.
They had a history, and they were a family when no one else wanted them. The orphans had come together to bond, and that was strong.
“Yeah, he did.”
“He didn’t hurt you, right?” she asked.
He shook his head. “He looks like shit. I actually felt bad for him,” Chris admitted. “We all lived that solitude, and he is now too.”
Her heart broke.
The last thing she wanted was for him to suffer. Yes, he’d broken her, but she loved him. Elizabeth loved him more than she ever thought she could love a person.
Ethan and Callen completed her, and Chris was her connection to the past and her younger self. They all mattered.
“He tracked me down to my hiding spot and told me you needed me.”
“I wish he’d come here,” she admitted.
Chris kissed her on the cheek. “He wants to, honey, but you know how hard he’s fighting everything. He was a mess. His tie was crooked, he’s getting some gray hair, and he looked like he hadn’t slept in weeks.”
Yeah, she got that.
She felt the same.
“He held Bethe and nearly cried. He misses his kids and family. You should forgive him.”
And there it was.
The neutral party had spoken, and she needed to hear it. When Livy hurt her, Chris told her to boot her to the curb.
He’d been right.
In their past when people abused her or used her, he told her to toss them.
When she’d gotten mad, he told her to forgive.
She needed that.
Chris knew her so well, she didn’t have to doubt why he was telling her something. The men in her life were coming back.
Callen held her up.
Chris came back and gave her peace.
Now she was only waiting on Ethan.
Plus, the fact he’d offered the olive branch meant a lot. He knew that she needed Chris there, and he told him to come meant the world to her. It meant he was healing too.
It gave her hope.
Maybe he was fixable.
“Was he still angry?” she asked, tucking herself beneath his arm as they continued talking.
Chris tensed.
“What?” she asked.
He tried to pull away and put space between them.
“Um, maybe I shouldn’t…”
Callen stopped him.
“Don’t over think it.”
“I’m trying not to, but after years of pretending, it may take some time.”
He got that.
“Whether we like it or not, her past belonged to you. I can’t erase it, and I wouldn’t want to either. You made her. Part of you made the woman I love. I wouldn’t change that for the world. I’m secure enough to know I don’t have to fight for a part of her heart. Ethan will get there. You can relax.”
She loved him.
God!
Callen was a good man.
“Finally, jealousy destroys. I won’t feed it. I will feed the beast I choose to foster, and that’s love—not anger and jealousy. You are welcome to hug your sister, sit by her, and even love her. I get it. I accept it.”
That was exactly what she needed to hear.
Callen got it.
He understood her heart, and she couldn’t love him more if she tried.
“Commando, huh?” she said, wiggling her eyebrows.
“Hussy.”
She started laughing.
It felt…amazing.
Tears filled Chris’s eyes. “I’ve never had brothers or expected to feel this kind of love. Thank you, Callen.”
He touched the man on the shoulder. “We’re lucky she has you. Thank you.”
“For?”
“She’s a freak in bed,” he teased. “Bless you for whatever you did to foster that.”
Elizabeth started laughing. “I didn’t see that one coming, Callen James. You have become the master.”
Now he wiggled his eyebrows. “Commando.”
“I really hope you’re wearing something under those jeans. I hugged you. Now I feel dirty.”
He laughed. “You are just like her. Same cloth, genetically different cutter. How could I not love you too?”
That touched Chris’s heart. That one sentence healed so much in him. He wasn’t alone in the world. He did have people who loved him.
Them.
It was enough.
Chris leaned into his sister and best friend and let their energy mingle. It felt nice to smell her hair, feel her hand on his leg, and to know that she wasn’t gone.
Time and space wouldn’t separate them.
For the first time in a month, there was peace, and he really missed it. Chris wouldn’t take it for granted.
“How about you tell me about this case? I feel like saving someone’s ass. Who’s up?”
She told him everything from Beau going to jail if they didn’t solve it, to two more dead bodies popping up.
It was one hell of a mess.
He whistled.
“Oh, and get this.”
“What?”
“Tori talks to the dead. She’s a medium. How did we miss that?” Elizabeth asked.
He stared at her.
Did he just hear her right?
There was no way she’d said that.
“You have to be shitting me.”
She laughed like a maniac. “Is that the look I had on my face, Cal?” she asked.
Callen shook his head.
“It was worse.”
“You realize there is no such thing as ghosts, right?” he asked.
The words were no sooner out of his mouth than the pen on the table slid across it and landed in his lap.
“Uh, Elizabeth…”
“It wasn’t me.”
Chris didn’t know what to think.
Yes, he did.
He was going to go commando too.
Because he may have just shit his pants.
Chapter Seventeen
Thursday Morning
Nyx and Beau’s
Townhouse
W hen he woke, he had a headache. It was throbbing behind his eyes, and Beau Christensen knew he deserved it. Last night, he’d been in one hell of a shitty mood, and he’d taken it out on a woman he was supposed to love.
Then she confronted him.
It didn’t go well.
He remembered her leaving, him drinking, and then him destroying their things in anger.
It was official.
He’d hit rock bottom.
Then he remembered his sister. In the mess of it all, he remembered him, naked, Tori, and the shower.
Well, this was going to be damn awkward.
Only, he had another issue. There was someone lying beside him, and he prayed he’d not left his house to find some piece of ass to forget about the woman who’d left him.
AGAIN.
Slowly, he opened his eyes, and stared down.
Nyx was beside him, and she was pale.
He watched the slow up and down of her chest, and he studied her. She didn’t look so good.
Then again, he probably didn’t either.
 
; Her hair was disheveled, she was still in her clothes, and for the first time in a while, she was against him like she used to sleep.
Something had happened to put her back in that bed beside him.
But what?
Glancing down his body, he saw a piece of paper lying there. It confused him, but he reached for it to read it.
‘Beau,
You’re an idiot. You could have killed yourself with booze last night. You have to fix this with her or she’s going to leave you. Then where will you be? When you love someone, Beau, you forgive. You don’t hold a grudge, you don’t make them pay, and you NEVER keep score. If that’s how you’re going to play, then you need to let her go. You don’t love her. She deserves better. When you went to jail, she fought for you. Now that she’s in a mess, you’re bailing. Shame on you.’
His heart broke.
Beau’s sister was right.
He was bailing on her when the times got tough. That wasn’t right, and it wasn’t fair. She deserved better.
He kept reading.
‘She nearly died tonight. She went off to be alone for you. Decide what you want and make your stand, Beau. You don’t always get a second chance. Make it count or walk away, but grow up. You’re a man, not a child. I am NOT showering with you again to sober you up. This was your one shot, and I’m done.
I love you, but get off the baby train. We have serious shit coming. The pity party is over.
Tori.’
She was right again.
Beau had been having one hell of a pity party, and now it needed to stop. He knew he was lashing out and blaming everyone but himself.
That was a total dick move, and one he learned from Shelby. She would blame the world.
She was one hell of a martyr.
Well, he wasn’t going to be like that.
Beau didn’t want his legacy to be filled with pain, misery, or anger. He wanted to love.
Beau wanted a chance.
He dropped the note off the bed, and rolled to his side, pressing his body against Nyx’s. She was chilly and barely moved.
The life was leaving her.
Like it had already left him.
Beau knew he needed to save her in order to save himself. From the minute he saw her, he knew she was the one. He knew she would fix the mess he called his life.
Now he could let her slip away, or he could fight like hell to have her as his own.
So, Beau, being a soldier did the only thing he could do.
He fought.
Finding her mouth, he slowly pressed his lips to hers. The kiss was one sided, but he could feel her waking. As soon as she did, she began kissing him back.
Well, at least she didn’t hate him.
That was a start.
Gently, he lured her into the mating of mouths, making sure to share what did live in him for her. He loved her.
He loved his witchy woman.
She’d captivated him with her gifts, she’d mesmerized him with her compassion, and he fell in love with her heart.
And he wanted that back.
No matter what was coming, he wanted Nyx to know he would fight.
For her.
For them.
For their future.
All she had to do was fight with him.
As he kissed her, Nyx’s fingers slid up his chest, to his neck, and to the back of his head. She kept him trapped to her mouth, and he didn’t mind.
The moan that escaped was a little him, and a little her. They were coming together, much like they always did.
They fit.
Perfectly.
When he rolled, she was on top, and he wanted her to understand. He wanted her to know he forgave her for the whole thing. Slowly, he set her mouth free until she was staring down at him.
“I love you. I will love you until the day I die, Nyx. I don’t want you to doubt that. What we have is stronger than what she can do to us. Fight with me. Stay with me.”
Tears filled her eyes.
All night, she’d wanted to disappear. She feared waking up to a man who hated her.
“I don’t want you to do this out of pity,” she admitted. “If you really don’t want me in your life, Beau, I need to know. Set me free. I don’t want to pretend I’m with someone who needs me or wants me.”
He got it.
He’d broken her.
He touched her cheek with his warm palm. “Nyx Nightingale, you’re my girl. I want you. I accept who you are, and what we have to overcome. I’m not pretending.”
She wanted to believe him.
“I’m sorry I scared you last night. I won’t ever put my hands on you in anger again. I shouldn’t have done it. If you want to leave because of that, I understand.”
She blinked and tears fell onto his chest.
It broke his heart.
He didn’t put this fear there, but he’d fed it.
“I have no one but you. If you leave me, I’ll be nothing. I’ll disappear.”
“I won’t hurt you. I need you to believe me. I stumbled because I’m overwhelmed by Shelby’s death and going to jail, but I’m back. I’m strong enough to do this for both of us. I’ll carry you, Nyx. I’ll carry you until my dying day.”
She sobbed.
“Oh, baby,” he whispered. Until that moment, he didn’t realize the weight she was carrying. Beau didn’t realize the fear was living in her, and it was devouring her whole.
“Stay with me,” he said, touching her face. “Be my girl.”
“I’m trying,” she whispered. “I’m fighting with all I have, Beau. She’s winning. I’m going to lose everything I’ve found and made mine. My mistake will be my end.”
He pulled her face back down to his, and he made love to her mouth with his. She fell into it, and Nyx didn’t fight. She let the man she loved lead the way.
As he kissed her, she could feel his fingers moving over the buttons on her shirt, and then him tugging it off.
She didn’t break the kiss.
If she did, she felt like she’d drown in the pain.
Evangeline was there. She was trying to get back in, and if she did…
Beau would be hurt.
Nyx fought it.
When she pulled away from the kiss, he stared at her in surprise.
“No,” she whispered.
He stopped touching her.
“NO!” she said louder as she grabbed her head. “You can’t have him! He’s mine!”
Beau was horrified.
That bitch was back.
“THE. DEAD. WOMAN. WANTS. HER!”
Beau glanced over at his radio. “How do I stop it?” he asked. He knew there was no holy water there.
“LOVE. HER! HELP. HER. HOLD. IT. BACK!”
Beau got it.
Rolling, he placed her beneath him. “Nyxie, look at me,” he said. When she didn’t, he said it louder.
She finally opened her eyes.
“Please,” she whispered. “She hates happiness. She wants to destroy us. Love is the enemy. She wants to break it.”
That was all he had to hear.
Beau pulled off Nyx’s jeans, and tore off her panties. What he needed was to connect with her.
“Focus on me. Only me, Nyx,” he ordered.
She stared up at him.
Trusting him.
Loving him.
“I’m here,” she whispered.
Beau pulled himself out of his boxers and positioned himself to take her.
Nyx’s eyes began getting that dazed glaze, and he knew he didn’t have time.
He slid home.
Nyx arched into his body.
It had been enough to get her to focus. She was back.
“Beau, I love you,” she whispered.
He began moving. The warm wet glide was perfect. Nyx wrapped her legs around his hips, and he kept moving.
She was focused on him, and it was the woman he loved. Evangeline was there, but Nyx was still in control.
“I will protect you,” he promised.
He moved in and out of her body, offering Nyx his soul through this act of making love. He was wrapping himself around her, giving all he had to make sure she was protected.
“You’re mine,” he whispered.
She blinked, able to focus on him.
Her hands went to his shoulders, and with love and gentleness, she held on.
Here was his Nyx.
Pulling her up, he sat her in his lap as he used his arms to lift and drop her.
The pleasure was so overwhelming, that Nyx took that first tumble.
Beau held on, as he kept her still, his erection buried in her body. He wanted to cum, but he wanted this connection with her so much more.
He wanted to find her again.
This was the path.
He had to traverse it in hopes it would lead them both home.
As she lifted her head again, he worried if it would be the woman he loved or the monster that haunted them.
“Oh, Beau,” she whispered, finding his mouth with hers.
It was a heated kiss, and it drove him wild.
When she pulled away, there were tears in her eyes.
“You’re safe,” he promised. “I have you.”
She saw that.
From here on out, she’d trust in that. If it was the only beacon in the storm, at least she knew it was bright, true, and forever going to be there.
“My turn,” she said, pushing him backward. “I have you now.”
And she began moving, braced above his body.
Beau watched her eyes, then her breasts, and then the way she swallowed his body whole.
It sent shivers down his spine.
Then he realized the room was getting cold.
Nyx must have noticed it too.
He forced her to stare at him. “Ignore her. She can’t hurt us if we’re one.”
And literally, they were just that.
She trusted him and kept moving. Nyx could hear her howls of anger, but they were drowned out by the love she felt for the man beneath her.
They were strong.
“Oh, God!” he muttered, when she began moving faster. It was stealing his breath.
“Baby, don’t stop! God! Please don’t stop!”
She didn’t.
Nyx kept it up.
The faster she rode, the further away the evil felt. She was racing to get to the finish line so they could both fall into the heat as one.