Decisions

by Michael A. Burstein

  The younger Aaron scrunched his eyes closed and shook his head. “I'm dreaming."

  "I wish. For a while I thought I was. But apparently, it's all real. I must really have traveled into the past.” He looked off to the side. “Except—except that I don't remember this conversation."

  "What?” his other self asked.

  Aaron laughed as something occurred to him. “Listen, you. If I had traveled back in time, and met my past self—meaning you—shouldn't my future self—meaning me—remember this conversation? Wouldn't I be forming new memories for every second of this conversation?"

  The other Aaron shook his head. “I don't know. I don't know what's going on."

  Aaron shrugged. “Well, I don't know much of the science of time travel either. But it seems pretty likely to me. And that means that I'm not in the past."

  "So where—I mean when—I mean, what's going on?"

  "Stop babbling,” Aaron said. “It makes you—me—look like an idiot.” He sighed. “Now I don't know what's going on. Maybe the anomaly thrust me into a parallel universe, similar to mine but a few months out of sync. Perhaps if I search around, I'll find something different, a clue that I really have jumped universes. Or maybe—” He cut off, thinking.

  "Yes?"

  "I don't know. But I know this much—I'm not in the past. And I didn't even have to kill my grandfather to prove it.” He grinned at his other self. “Or you."

  The younger Aaron suddenly jumped out of the bed and lunged towards the desk.

  Oh, shit, Aaron thought. He's going for my gun.

  Aaron lurched at his younger self, his right shoulder aiming directly at the other man's chest. The younger Aaron went down, bent over and panting to get his breath back.

  "No, I'm not going to kill you,” Aaron said. “But I'm not going to be able to convince Gabe to free me either. Unless—” He walked over to the desk, opened the top drawer, and pulled out the gun. He pointed it at Aaron and said, “When you get your breath back, take off your clothes. We're switching places."

  * * * *

  Despite his conviction that he had fallen into a parallel universe rather than the past, Aaron's life for the week before the launch followed an eerily familiar track. He couldn't possibly remember every single detail of his life from six months ago, but nothing happened that seemed out of place. He finished his training, flew to Florida, boarded the DSS, and launched.

  And, halfway into the mission, Aaron found himself back at the anomaly, the weird colorful, curving wall of light he had encountered just outside the orbit of the Pluto-Charon system, which currently sat on the other side of the solar system. He remembered planning to tell Gabe about it just before Gabe told him not to reveal any details of the mission. Well, he thought, Gabe loses out.

  It suddenly occurred to him that his escape, his approach here—both felt far too easy. Why didn't he remember this second, long trip to the outer solar system? Why couldn't he recall launching a second time either? What in God's name had happened to him?

  He passed through the wall of light and found himself in empty darkness.

  * * * *

  He opened his eyes and found himself back in his bunk in the cell. Two alien creatures stood in the room with him. They were tall and thin, with human-looking features that appeared stretched out, like in a funhouse mirror.

  "Aaron Eliassen,” one of them said in flatly accented English. “You were only partly correct. You did not go back in time, at least not directly. But neither did you fall into a parallel universe."

  Slowly, Aaron eased himself out of the bunk. He kept his back to it and paced towards the wall. “Who are you?"

  The aliens glanced at each other, and the smaller one spoke. Aaron couldn't differentiate between the voices. “Our name would mean little to you if we gave it in our language. Your species calls itself the Wise Ones; we call ourselves the Ones Who Speak."

  Aaron looked back and forth between the two figures, and felt the urge to make a joke. “I'll call you Jabbers."

  They looked at him without expression. “As you feel the need,” the smaller one said.

  "Do you have names?"

  "Again, yes, but—"

  "But I wouldn't be able to pronounce them or something. Fine.” He pointed at each in turn, first the larger and then the smaller. “You're George and you're Gracie."

  "As you feel—"

  "—the need, yeah, I heard you the first time. So why did you tap into my mind and create that illusion for me?"

  "You are quicker than we would have anticipated,” Gracie said. “You have already figured out that we had a role in the creation of the illusion of your recent experience."

  "Thank you, but I still want answers. What's going on?"

  It hesitated, then said, “Did you ever wonder about first contact, Commander Eliassen?"

  Aaron thought back to all the movies and TV shows he had seen about aliens. “Sure, who hasn't?"

  "We represent an alliance of sentient beings. Whenever we discover a solar system in the process of developing intelligent life, we set up a special wormhole."

  "The anomaly,” Aaron said.

  "Yes. We placed a boundary at the edge of your solar system, like a giant soap bubble. When you crossed it, it pulled you through a wormhole and transported you here."

  Aaron quelled his fears by dwelling on the mundane. “Does that mean that the Pioneer and Voyager space probes were taken off course?"

  "No. The system is designed to activate only in the event it detects an actual lifeform, not an artifact."

  "Why?"

  "Because only then do we know that a race has achieved the ability to colonize the galaxy."

  Aaron stifled a laugh. “Humans are a far cry from colonizing the galaxy."

  "Nevertheless, your race is at a beginning. And if we let you continue your explorations, you would soon discover wormhole travel and our alliance."

  "We just have,” Aaron said.

  The aliens remained silent for a moment. Then the larger one took over the discussion. “Actually, you have that the wrong way around. We have discovered you. We needed to study your world. Our alliance needed to make sure that your species had developed to the point where you could accept our existence, become a part of our alliance. So we reached into your mind, let you think that you had returned to Earth, and let the scenario play out. So that we could understand your race as completely as possible."

  The smaller alien said, “Unfortunately, your will was most resistant."

  Aaron cocked his head at it. “What does that mean?"

  "You were unwilling to create a present for yourself, so you replayed your experiences in the past, over and over, until finally your subconscious realized that you were trapped in a loop."

  "I don't remember that."

  "Of course you wouldn't. Your long-term memories have been recorded once; there was no need for them to code the same exact experiences again. So, instead, you broke out."

  He looked around the cell. “How long have I been here?"

  The aliens exchanged a glance. “On your scale, about a month."

  "So I haven't been gone long enough to be missed. But you can't keep me here much longer."

  "They will assume your mission has failed. Besides, soon it will not matter."

  Aaron tensed up. “What do you mean, it won't matter?"

  The two aliens remained silent, and Aaron felt cold. “Does this mean—you're not planning to destroy the Earth, are you?"

  The aliens made a noise that Aaron couldn't understand, but it felt like laughter. “No, we do not destroy the incompatible emerging races. We simply lock them away."

  "Lock them away?"

  "The wormhole boundary becomes a barrier. Any living creature that enters it on one side of the solar system finds itself emerging on the other side of the solar system. A cosmic loop."

  "A torus,” Aaron said, drawing on memory of long-ago mathematics courses. “A four-dimensional donut."


  "Exactly. We will lock your solar system into a toroidal shape, so you can never emerge to threaten the galaxy."

  Aaron shook his head, and clasped his hands together to keep them from trembling. Still, he shivered. “If you lock us away, when the Sun dies, so will my entire race."

  "But that is billions of years in your future. You personally would be long gone by then. It will not matter to you."

  Aaron glared at it. “You haven't really learned much about humanity, have you?"

  "We have learned enough. What we do may be regrettable, but it is necessary. Your race is too paranoid and violent to allow into the galaxy. You would threaten our alliance."

  "We wouldn't,” Aaron said softly. “On the contrary, we're not that paranoid."

  The larger alien took over the conversation. “You cannot deny the paranoia that is inherent to your species. Your own people did lock you up when you returned before you had left."

  Aaron felt a sudden need to respond to the alien's stupidity with his fists. But he knew that wouldn't help, and in fact, would just make things worse. He took a few deep breaths and then spoke in measured tones. “You know, it's really unfair for you to use a scenario that you yourself created to judge my species."

  "Ah, but we did not actually create the scenario in its entirety, Commander Eliassen. We merely initiated it. Your own subconscious mind elaborated it, fleshed it out, and gave it reality. As we said before, we merely allowed the scenario to play out from the starting point. It was our way of learning more about your species, so we could judge you accordingly. And in the reality that you created for yourself, your own people locked you away."

  "So they locked me away. Big deal. It was only because they were faced with something unexpected, something they had never seen before."

  The aliens just stared silently at Aaron as the seconds passed. After a moment, he realized the implications of his comment, and he sighed. “Okay. I get it."

  "Then we shall commence reshaping the space occupied by your solar system."

  "Wait!” Aaron's mind raced with desperation. He knew he had to find an argument to ensure the future of the human race, and he reached for the only one that came to mind. “What if I offered you an alternative?"

  The aliens gave him a quizzical glance. “Explain."

  "Instead of locking us away forever, why not give us more time? Recreate your wormhole boundary twice as far away."

  "What would that accomplish?"

  "It would give us more time to develop, to mature.” Aaron smiled. “The next human who comes this far might be years away. By then, we'll be less violent, less paranoid."

  The alien gave him what appeared to be a sad look. “You cannot guarantee that."

  "No,” Aaron admitted. “I can't. But I can tell you this. We may be violent, but we aren't looking to enter space to conquer intelligent life. We're looking to befriend intelligent life, to work together in harmony.” He resisted an impulse to fall to the floor and beg. Instead, he pulled himself a little taller and stared directly into the eyes of the larger alien. “I know you have the power to look into my mind. Do it again. Now. But look at everything it means to be human, not just the violent stuff that you're assuming is all there is."

  "What do you expect us to find?"

  "You'll see images of paranoia and fear, but also those of joy and hope. You'll see humans hurting each other, but you'll also see us helping each other. You'll see that we have the capacity for a higher morality."

  "But why should we recreate the wormhole twice as far away? What is the point of delaying the inevitable?"

  Aaron fought to stay calm. “That's just my point. It's not inevitable. We'll grow in that many years. And if we don't, so what? If we're still not acceptable to you, lock us off then. But give us more time, give us a chance. Please."

  The aliens looked at each other. “Let us look into your mind, as you have offered."

  Aaron nodded, and felt a sudden intrusion into his thoughts. His guts told him to resist, but his mind told him to let them see his life, his experiences, and his world.

  Suddenly, Aaron no longer found himself with the aliens. He looked out into a bright light, and realized that he was watching the world from his own eyes at the moment of his birth. The world around him looked hazy, and people moved slowly around him. Then the world sped up, and Aaron became a detached observer in his own life. From a hidden corner of his mind, accompanied by the alien presences, he watched his life unfold. Elementary school, high school, college, the air force, his first kiss, the first time making love, the first time he flew solo, all the tragedies of his life, all the hopes, all his desires, all his dreams...

  He blinked, and once more stood in the room with the aliens. They stared at him in silence. The seconds passed, and Aaron continued to wait while they continued staring. Finally, just when he thought he couldn't bear it any longer, the larger alien spoke. “Your proposal is acceptable."

  Aaron breathed a sigh of relief. “Good.” He paused. “So, I know you're giving the human race a second chance, but what happens to me now?"

  "We will send you back, of course, after wiping your memory of our existence."

  Aaron nodded. “I understand,” he said. But, he thought, he would fight to keep his memory as intact as possible.

  * * * *

  "Houston, this is Deep Space Shuttle One. Please reply. Over."

  Gabe's voice came over the radio. “DSS One, this is Houston. How're you doing, Aaron?"

  Aaron breathed a sigh of relief. “Much better, now that the lightspeed lag is gone. It's good to be back home. Over."

  "Well, you're not quite home yet,” came the amused reply. “We'll get you out of orbit as soon as we can.” Gabe paused. “One thing, Aaron. Weather's a little stormy in Florida, so we'll need you to land at Edwards. Hope that's not a problem."

  "No, not at—” Aaron began, and then something nagged at the back of Aaron's mind. “Um, Houston?"

  "Yes?"

  "What's today's date?"

  "The date?” Gabe laughed. “It's October tenth. You've arrived home right on schedule."

  "Good."

  "Why, what did you expect? Relativity kicking in and bringing you far, far into the future? You never went fast enough for that."

  "No, not that. I expected—” Aaron thought for a moment, but nothing came to mind. “I don't know what I expected."

  "Well, you should expect a parade, at least. You'll be a genuine hero when you return. Just like Neil Armstrong."

  Aaron leaned back and smiled. What does a hero do? He promotes causes, of course. And Aaron knew that it would be vitally important for him to use his new status to speak out against fear, against hate, against violence and wars. He couldn't say why. He just knew it had to be that way.

  * * * *

  Their current job completed, the beings Aaron had called George and Gracie studied the naked bodies of thousands of other primitive aliens suspended in separate plasma baths, which kept them alive as they lived out their illusions.

  The Younger asked the Elder, “Have you ever done such a thing before?"

  "Never,” the Elder replied. “Never in the history of our existence."

  "Will you not get in trouble?"

  "No. It is my decision to make, as it will be yours to make when I am gone."

  "But to make such a promise to a primitive, violent alien, and then to carry it out."

  The Elder's countenance took on the equivalent of a smile. “That very promise is the reason for our jobs. Have you never wondered why we do not just lock up every other solar system with the potential for intelligent life? Why are we here, to intercept each race as they emerge from their shells? What is our function?” He paused. “Do you now understand what you are being trained to do?"

  The Younger thought for a moment. “I think I almost understand. Please make it clear for me."

  "The humans,” the Elder said. “They were the first to discover the secret."

  "Wh
ich is what?"

  "That it is not a race's capacity for violence that condemns us, but rather, the decisions that we choose to make. This human, Aaron Eliassen, made the right decision.” The Elder swept his arm around, indicating all the aliens floating in their plasma baths. “Every other alien representative that we have encountered has always reacted the same way, claiming that they will conquer the Universe, and along with it, us. We had no choice but to lock their races away forever. But this human chose wisely. This was the first representative that expressed a different hope, that his race would one day be more acceptable to us, rather than requiring us to be more acceptable to them."

  "I understand."

  "Perhaps one day, they will be partners with us. For now, though—"

  An ultraviolet light blinked on, and at the same time, a high frequency whine began.

  The Elder turned to the Younger. “Another race has emerged from its shell. Let us attend to it."

  The Younger closed the door of the chamber behind it, pausing only briefly to study the hundreds of aliens suspended in their plasma baths. He recalled how many in turn had threatened the Elder with violence, and had claimed that their race alone would own the Universe. He had reached the beginning of understanding, and sorrow filled his being.

  He turned to the Elder. “It is good that we could decide as we did for the human. But what a pity that we could not decide otherwise for the rest."

  "They decided for themselves, young friend. We do not judge them; they chose their own verdicts."

  —END—

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