Crushing Summer

by C. M. Stunich

  “I want to say no,” he told me. “I want to say no, but I can't. It had to be her. Who else? You saw her at the Walk yesterday. Choosing her as Queen Bee was a big mistake.” I turned back towards the front window and tried not to slump into a depression. A thought poked at the edge of my mind.

  “You're not still dating her, are you?” I asked him, and immediately, he shook his head.

  “We broke up at the start of the last school year, right after that fight I had with Justin. Well, I broke up with her. She wanted to stay together, even though she knew I'd been hanging out with Tatiana. Sometimes, I feel like she doesn't even like me, like she just wants to … win. Does that make sense?” I nodded, putting my hands over my eyes to block out the sun for a moment.

  “So she's mad because we're hanging out?” I asked him. “Or because of the thing with Casper and Julie yesterday?”

  “Maybe both,” Cage said, and I had to open my eyes and look at him. I could hear the smile in his voice. “Maybe she saw me kiss you?” he added, and I flushed. Not because of his kiss, but because of Casper's. Because there were two guys in my life right now that I liked, and I'd had my first kiss with them both on the same night. I tried not to feel ashamed about that. Full disclosure was probably necessary though.

  “I kissed Casper,” I told him, and his facial expression was priceless. Thoughtful, confused, and a little jealous. It put a little V shaped crinkled between his eyebrows. “He stopped by last night to thank me for giving Julie that shot. And then it just sort of happened.” Cage listened while I spoke and then mulled the information over, reaching up to brush his fingers through his hair.

  “And what did you think about that?” he asked. I steepled my hands together and tried to figure out how to put this all into words. It was complicated, to say the least.

  “I've only known him for a few days, but … I've also only really known you for that same period of time.” Cage snorted.

  “We were line dancing partners in junior high. I can't believe you've forgotten that.” I groaned and rolled my eyes.

  “Ugh. I can't believe you just brought that up.”

  “And we both had Mrs. Roach for third grade. You sat behind me most of the year and used to hit me in the back of the neck with pencil led.”

  “On accident,” I protested, miming a writing motion with my right hand. “I press hard and those mechanical pencils are flimsy. It's true. Ask anyone with a good grip.” He smirked and it was hot as hell, I won't lie. Cage should've been dressed up in a suit or something, driving a sleek black sports car while researching international conspiracies or something. A modern day, teenage version of James Bond. He had the right look to him. “But that stuff happened a long time ago. High school's a whole different animal.” I sighed. “I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm not trying to lead you and Casper along. We started hanging out at the same time, and stuff just kind of worked out this way. I just want you both to know where you stand.”

  “And where's that?” Cage asked, still smirking. The look on his face reminded me of Casper's words earlier that day. I'll just have to make sure you like me better.

  “On the crossroads between here and there,” I said, blinking prettily up at him.

  “Poetic,” he said, and I grinned, lifting my phone up as it beeped, telling me I had a new text message. It was from Heidi. Don O. prty @ Guy S. B thr? It was a pretty sparse message, even for Heidi. Luckily, having known her for so long I was able to figure it out. Don Ortega is throwing a party at Guy Sills' house. Will you be there? Honestly, I couldn't think of a worse way to spend my evening than to be surrounded by the rest of the Assigned and a horde of Students. Only the most zealous would be there and they'd all be struggling to prove themselves to everyone else. Since Don was the Party Animal, he'd be playing it up, acting like a crazed gorilla in a 90's high school drama. Guy Sills was the Neighbor, basically the 'guy next door' role, so he'd be cleaning up after everyone, serving drinks, smiling, the perfect host. CC Marion and Nick Bishop wouldn't be invited but would crash the party anyway (Bad Boy/Bad Girl, get it?), and Shayla would be ruling over it all with a smirk on her face and an entourage of butt kissers swarming by her side. The only person that probably wouldn't be there would be Anne Chime. Since she was Valedictorian, she'd be at the library studying books she didn't need to study or sitting at home, reading Anne of Green Gables.

  I knew that's how it would be because I'd been to Assignment parties before. Last year was the same as the one before that, and the one before that. This year wouldn't be any better, probably worse. Everyone would be hitting on me, touching me, showering me with snacks and drinks and compliments I didn't deserve. And then maybe Shayla would get tired of watching me suffer and decide to put me out of my misery by ordering the Students to do something even worse.

  No thnx. Date 2nite.

  That wasn't entirely true. My date with Casper was actually tomorrow night, but I didn't feel like explaining my reasons to Heidi, if she'd even listen. Besides, I was still pissed off her. Things weren't right between us, and she didn't care. Fine. She could go spend time with Justin, but I wasn't going to go out of my way for her like I usually did. Normally, if Heidi wanted to do something, we did it, whether I wanted to or not. Not tonight though. Tonight, I was sitting this one out.

  “Apparently there's a party tonight at Guy Sills' house,” I said as Cage dug around in his back pocket for his phone and deposited it into the cup holder between us.

  “I bet there's a text on there that says just that. Do you mind checking for me?” I grabbed his phone and spun it around. Doesn't text and drive. How responsible of him. I smiled as I scrolled through the messages.

  “There are at least ten,” I said, noticing that one of the messages was from Shayla. I resisted the urge to click it and see what kind of conversation they'd been having. It was none of my business. “Are you going?” Cage shrugged, pulling off on the exit that would take us straight back to my neighborhood. Already, my fear was settling in my gut, making me nauseous. My mom is going to kill me. It was almost worth going to the party just to stay away from my house. Sadly, the longer I put this off, the worse it was going to be.

  “Probably,” Cage said, but he didn't sound all that excited about it. “The King should be at all the parties.” He shrugged again, but I could see that even though he didn't agree with everything that was going on, he respected the rules of The Assignment and was determined to follow them as closely as possible.

  I paused myself on that thought.

  Cage was King. I was Crush.

  I turned in my seat to look at him, forgetting to even care that we were about to turn down my street. I studied his face for a moment, watching as the sun played across his strong features, his curved lips, his pale eyes.

  “Why are you suddenly so interested in hanging out with me?” I asked him point blank. To his credit, he seemed surprised by the question.

  “What?”

  “I mean, why now? Like you said, we were line dancing partners in junior high. You weren't interested then, so why this summer?” I raised my brows at him. Cage didn't take his eyes off the road, but he did reach out and touch his fingers to the back of my hand.

  “I know what you're thinking and that's not it. I'm not hanging out with you just because you're the Crush.” I narrowed my eyes on him, trying to pretend that I didn't feel his fingertips dancing over my knuckles.

  “Then why?” I prompted as we pulled into my driveway. My dad's car was already parked out front. Bad sign. Really bad sign. I had to make this quick. Cage sighed and turned off the engine, taking off his seat belt and spinning to face me.

  “God, this sucks,” he said, closing his eyes and putting his fingers up against his forehead. “This really sucks.”

  “What does?” I asked, leaning close to the window and trying to catch a glimpse of the front door. My mother hadn't burst outside in a raging fury, so things were good, at least for the moment.

  “Tel
ling you what I have to tell you.” He looked down at the cup holders, refusing to meet my gaze. “But before I do, I want you to know what right now, today, last night, I was hanging out with you because I thought you were interesting. I like you, Chloe.”

  “So … what?” I asked, swallowing the lump in my throat.

  “So, that's what makes this so horrible.” I wanted to reach out and strangle him. Spit it out already! I kept my mouth shut though, waiting for him to confess whatever it was that he needed to say. I thought about that first phone call he made to me, where he said he was looking for volunteers. It hadn't seemed random at all. And then there was the beach that day … God, when I put all the pieces together, things didn't look all that great for Cage Lawrence. I was obviously missing something here.

  “I found something out about Tatiana a few days ago. At first, I thought you might know something, but now I see that's not true.” I kept waiting, folding my hands delicately in my lap to keep from shaking his shoulders to get the words to flow faster. “Last summer, you volunteered at the Young Adults Preparedness Group, right?” I nodded. The YAPG was a help and resource center for teenagers, and it looked damn good on a college application. I was working on junior counseling and pregnancy prevention programs with the staff. Basically, I sat there with a real counselor by my side and listened to people talk. That, and I handed out gobs and gobs of free condoms, bumper stickers that said Get a Sock for Your Rock, and miniature sticks of sample deodorants. “Tatiana went there a lot in the last week or so before she died. I knew you'd been working there at around the same time, so I thought she might've spoken to you, told you something.” I stayed very still, listening, waiting. “Tatiana … ” He wrinkled up his face like he'd just bitten down on a lemon or something. “Tatiana, when she died, she thought she was … ” My heart froze up and my stomach curled into a knot. Sweat began to bead on my forehead and my hands started to shake. I knew what he was going to say before he even said it. “Tatiana thought she was pregnant.”

  “With your baby?” I blurted because I didn't know what else to say. I hadn't read anything about this in the papers, so it must not have been true. Imagine how that scandal would've gone over: Pregnant Teen Dies During Bizarre Local Tradition. I guess she'd been wrong. That or … I didn't want to think about the alternatives. Like I said, when her body washed up, it had been half-eaten. Who knows what else had happened while it was floating in the sea?”

  “No,” Cage blurted quickly. “Tatiana and I hadn't … ” I thought he was just going to trail off and leave it for my imagination, but he kept going, unashamed, face stoic and deadly serious. “We hadn't had sex yet.” He paused for a second and squinted like he wasn't sure yet was the right choice of words. “She'd only ever been with one person.” Did not take me long to figure that one out.

  “Justin.”

  “Justin,” Cage said, and then we both jumped, smacking our heads on the roof of his Mercedes.

  “Chloe.” My mom was outside my window, arms crossed over chest, hair swept into a severe bun on the top of her head. She hadn't even tapped on the glass or anything. Just her presence moving towards the car had been enough to scare us both. It was nice to know that I wasn't the only person she had that effect on. Sometimes Kaitlyn acted like she was immune to my mother's ways. If so, she was the only human being I had met thus far that was, including my father. “Are you going somewhere or just spending some quality time in the driveway? Your dad needs to get back to work.” This, of course, was a not so subtle hint that it was time for me to get out of the car and come inside.

  “Thanks for everything,” I whispered, not entirely sure what it was that I was thanking him for. The information, I guess, though I had no clue what to do with it. Tatiana thought she was pregnant with Justin's baby. He was having an affair with Heidi; she was having a fling with Cage. Cage saw Justin's car that night near Sea Ridge. Tatiana went missing and wounded up dead. “Jesus,” I blurted as I reached down for the door handle.

  “I'm sorry,” Cage told me, making sure to keep his voice down. I nodded though I didn't think he had anything to apologize for. I stepped out of the car, backed away a few steps and watched as Cage pulled the silver vehicle out of the driveway and down the street.

  “You know my friend, Toni Fits, don't you?” I nodded absently and turned towards my mother like I was in a slow motion take in a horror film. And the monster is …

  “Um, yes?” I replied, like it was a question and not an answer. My mom continued to stare at me with her dark, green eyes, like kelp at the bottom of the sea. Her skin was flawless, perfect. I'd heard people tell her that we looked like sisters. I don't think they were joking either. There was always a hint of awe and a bite of jealousy in their words.

  “Well, I'm heading out for a late business lunch with her. I need the car. Where is it, and I can have your dad drop me off.” She stared straight at and through me, dead serious. She didn't know. She. Did. Not. Know.

  “Oh, crap,” I blurted. My mom's left brow twitched.

  “Hey, honey,” my dad said, coming out the front door in a black suit and tie. He worked at the bank downtown, but to be honest with you, I had no idea what it was that he did there. Fancies about in pools of money, I'd guess, Heidi always joked. “How's your day been so?” He winked at me. “Having to fight the boys off with a stick, eh Crush?” I tried not to groan. For once in my life I almost – almost – wished for one of those dads that was always warning his daughter against the dangers of boys, greeting dates at the door with shotguns and banning me from going out after dark. Never going to happen though. If I wanted to beat The Assignment, I was on my own.

  I opened my mouth to give him the usual vapid response: fine. But I couldn't bring myself to do it. Let's see, Dad, where should I start? I got told off by my best friend, stalked around town, oh, and I discovered Heidi's boyfriend may or may not have gotten a girl pregnant, right before she died, no less! Today was fantastic, thank you.

  “What is it, Chloe.” My mother wasn't asking me a simple question. That was a veiled command that I'd best spill the beans now or things would get bad. I swallowed hard and kept my eyes focused on my dad's smiling face instead of my mother's frown.

  “The car,” I gulped, and I swear, they both turned white as sheets.

  “You got in an accident?” my mother screamed, and I cringed, noticing as I did that Kaitlyn was filming me from the doorway with her phone. Nice.

  “Not an accident,” I said quickly, taking a deep breath and staring intently at the green bush in our neighbor's yard. It was that or stare at my parents' frowning faces. “I drove it to the Trashes to Treasures expo over at the fairgrounds. There were lots of Students there,” I blurted, knowing that they both could tell the difference between the lower case and the capital S versions. “When I came out, the car was trashed.” My mother groaned and my dad sagged in relief. I don't think he realized how bad it was going to be, but my mom did. After all, she was a Student herself. She know how far someone might go to get to the Heartthrob or the Crush. “The windows are broken and the tires are slit,” I said, leaving out the key marks on the doors and the paint on the back. They'd see it, sooner rather than later.

  I stood silently and waited for the axe to fall.

  “Well, I suppose you have enough to worry about,” my mother said, drawing my attention up to her face. I tried not to gawp at her.

  “What?”

  “Being Crush is the most important thing right now. This isn't your fault,” she said, waving her hand around absently. “It's all part of The Assignment.”

  “I … ” I had no idea what to say. Even my mother, Rhonda Summer, the infamous force behind the ban on soda in the county schools, the woman who singlehandedly championed the reinstatement of driver's ed at the high school, was in on the game. Instead of making me feel better that I wasn't going to get in trouble, it made me feel worse, more trapped.

  “Do you have any plans tonight?” she asked me, looking ar
ound the street like she not only expected but wanted to see guys lined up around the block, flowers in hand. “Parties? A date?” I shook my head and she nodded, briskly. That meant the subject was over. We were done here. I wanted to be dismissed. “Alright, well, if you need a ride somewhere, just call and let your father know.” My dad nodded agreeably, as if carting around his teenage daughter was of the upmost importance. “Why don't you go inside and rest up a bit?” she said, and that was that.

  I turned around and trudged into the house, pushing Kaitlyn aside and ignoring the fact that her phone was still recording.

  “Did you get to make out with Cage?” she asked me as I passed by her and opened the door to my room. “Was it good? Did he touch your boob?” I slammed the door closed and hit the lock with my thumb. A few days ago, I was proud to leave my room unlocked, confident because I knew what was going to happen and when. It was all a part of that boring life I'd been so blasé about.

  I moved down the stairs quickly, dropped my purse on my vanity table and flopped onto the bed. I was asleep in less than a minute. The weight of knowledge hangs heavy on the heads of its carriers. I had no idea whose quote that was, but it rang true. Too true. For once in my life, I felt like I might be better off if I knew nothing at all.

  “You can't very bloody well sleep forever,” a voice said just seconds before I heard Cobra Starship start to slip out of the speakers on my desk. My eyes snapped open and I rolled over to find Heidi standing in my room, checking her hair out in the mirrors on the inside of my armoire doors. “The party starts in an hour. We should make an appearance.”

  “What?” I asked, groggy and disoriented. “How did you get in here?” She didn't answer me, just pointed to a tiny metal pole lying next to my purse, the kind you get when you guy a new doorknob. You know, the one they give you so you can't sue the manufacturer if somebody decides to lock themselves in somewhere.

  “I stuck it in the hole, wiggled it around and it just burst open,” she said, wiggling her butt in time with the song.