“I wasn’t running this time,” I said softly. “I thought you could use some space and time to think.”
“I don’t think that’s what we need.” Kyle took a deep breath and released it slowly. “I know you, Chaz—or so I thought I did. You’re not a mean person who would deliberately hurt someone, so I’m having a hard time reconciling that with your actions. It makes me question if I truly know you beyond the little pieces of Drew and Chaz that you’ve shown me. There’s only one way to find out.” Kyle caressed the back of my hand with his thumb. “I think we have to start all over again.”
“You do?” I asked in surprise. His suggestion shocked me as much as his tender touch.
“I have to try, Chaz, because I’m not happy when you’re not here. I want to know everything there is to know about you, even the things you think are too stupid. And for once, I want you to walk toward me, not away from me,” Kyle said. “Are you willing to give it a shot?”
“Wow,” I said in awe. “You really are better than a book boyfriend. I don’t know what the hell I did to deserve you or this second chance, but…”
Kyle silenced me by pressing his finger gently over my lips. “I’m not some perfect boyfriend—fictional or otherwise—and if you keep thinking that, we’re destined to fail. Let’s be honest, your misguided ideas about me were the reason we’re in this mess. If not, we could’ve been together and happy this entire time. As for deserving forgiveness, it’s not like you killed someone. Wait, did you kill me off in your book?” He looked horrified at the thought, and I smiled fully for the first time that evening.
“Are you more worried that I made you the killer or that I killed you in the story?” I asked.
“I need to know the name of the book right now,” Kyle insisted. He opened the coffee table drawer, pulled out his Kindle, and set it on my lap.
“You’re not going to read it while I’m sitting here, are you?” I asked. The idea of Kyle reading my book worried me but being able to see his expressions while he did it was terrifying.
“No,” Kyle said. “Tonight is about talking.” He nodded at his tablet, indicating that he wanted me to download my book on it.
“I can give you a free copy,” I told him.
“A month from now?” Kyle asked. “Nope. Do it willingly, or I’ll play rough.” He flexed the fingers on his free hand in the air in a tickling gesture.
I swallowed hard because that wasn’t much of a deterrent, but I didn’t want Kyle to feel like he needed to tickle things out of me. If we were going to work, I would need to share every part of me with Kyle. I released his hand so that I could find and download my book onto his device. Once I finished, Kyle took the tablet back and lay it on the coffee table before he looped his arm around my neck and pulled me close. I lay my head on his chest and closed my eyes to fight off the tears of joy. He was giving me a chance, and I wouldn’t fail him again.
“Now tell me everything,” Kyle whispered.
I chuckled and asked, “Where do you want me to begin?”
“Wherever you’d like,” he responded.
My mind spun with what to tell Kyle first. Honestly, I thought I was quite possibly the most boring person in the entire world. I didn’t have cool hobbies or talents. I didn’t shine or sparkle, nor did I captivate anyone’s attention when I walked into a room. I was just… there.
“Start with your friendship with Josh and Mere. I’ve always admired how the three of you seamlessly mesh. Normally, three is a crowd, but it seems to work for the three of you,” Kyle remarked.
“Well, Josh and I have been best friends since preschool, and it was just the two of us until Mere moved to town our freshman year of high school,” I told Kyle. “I have to confess that I resented Mere’s presence at first. I had always been Josh’s go-to person, but he was captivated by her feisty nature right from the start. Suddenly, I didn’t know where I fit in his life anymore, and it shook me hard. They were two peas in a pod, and I felt like the unwanted carrot. I was awkward and shy to their bold and beautiful, so you can imagine how isolated I felt all of a sudden.”
“Wow, I never would’ve guessed that from looking at the three of you now. What changed?” Kyle asked.
“Well, my insecurities caused some petty fights between Josh and me that were always followed by awkward silences. One day at lunch, Mere slapped her hand on the table and said, ‘I’ve had enough out of you two idiots! Charles Hamilton, get your head out of your ass. Don’t you have any idea how much Josh loves you? Josh, quit being selfish and insensitive to the fact that your best friend in the whole world is feeling left out.’ Josh and I stared at each other for a few minutes before smiles slowly spread across our faces.” I laughed at the memory. “Josh looked at Mere and told her not to be so damn bossy, and I asked her not to bust our balls so hard. We’ve been right as rain ever since.”
“That’s really sweet,” Kyle said.
“Who were your childhood friends?” I asked him.
“I only had one,” Kyle said. “Not many classmates wanted to associate with the fat kid.” I listened to Kyle tell me about his friendship with Holly and how they even went to prom together. “You probably think that’s weird, huh?” he asked me.
“I went to prom with Josh one year and Mere the next, so I don’t think it’s weird at all,” I answered him.
Kyle didn’t respond right away, and I wondered if he’d fallen asleep suddenly or something. I raised my head and looked at him. He wasn’t asleep. Instead, he appeared lost in speculation. I was curious where his mind had taken him but didn’t interrupt him. I lay my head back against his chest and waited for him to tell me. It didn’t take long for drowsiness to kick in after the emotionally draining few weeks I’d had. I was just about to doze off when Kyle finally spoke. What he asked took me completely by surprise.
“Were you and Josh ever more than friends?”
“Are you asking if I’ve ever had sex with Josh or are you asking if my feelings ever ran deeper than friendship?” I asked for clarification.
“Both,” Kyle said hesitantly. “Is that okay that I asked?”
“You can ask me anything,” I replied, and I meant it. I would never keep another secret from Kyle. “Honestly, I did have a crush on Josh in third grade. I think I even told him I was going to marry him someday.”
“It never developed beyond a crush? Josh never so much as tried to kiss you?” Kyle sounded skeptical. “Your lips beg to be kissed.”
“Nope, no kisses,” I told him. “There were plenty of closeted or curious boys though so don’t worry that I wasn’t getting any action.”
Kyle growled a little in his throat. “We need to move onto another topic now.”
“I agree,” I told him. “It’s time you told me about your childhood.”
“We better get comfy because it’s a long story,” Kyle said. We shifted our bodies so that we lay facing each other on the couch. His bed would’ve been more comfortable, but we needed to work up to that again.
My heart broke listening to Kyle talk about his painful childhood memories. I wanted to transport back in time and kick the asses of anyone who hurt his feelings. “Who was your biggest bully?” I asked. I’d kill that fucker off in my next book.
“Jack Jones,” Kyle sneered.
“Jack Jones?” I asked. Granted, Kyle and his classmates were at least eight years older than me, so I had no idea what Jack looked like as a kid. I knew what Jack Jones had grown into as an adult, and I had to think that karma paid that dickhead back in a big way. “Wow, I bet he’s not laughing at you anymore.”
“He apologized to me at our last reunion, and I accepted it. I had stopped caring about what he thought about me a long time ago, but it was a nice gesture.”
“Tell me about your transformation years.” I was completely enthralled by his story.
“Well, one day I just decided that I wanted to change for me and I did. I read as many magazine articles as I could get my hands on at the librar
y and started exercising. Once I saw a little bit of progress, it spurred me on to do more,” Kyle said. “I knew that only I could make the changes to have the life I wanted.”
We talked on for hours about everything and anything. I wasn’t foolish to think that one night of talking repaired the damage I caused, but I knew it was a good start. Even better, was Kyle holding me to him as we drifted off to sleep on the couch like he was afraid I would disappear again.
When I woke the next morning, Kyle was sitting in the club chair next to the couch reading my book on his Kindle while drinking coffee. He looked over at me when he heard me sit up. “Chaz Bailey!” I smiled because only the Matrons and Mere ever used my first and middle names to address me. Usually, I was in trouble when they did; I hoped that wasn’t the case with Kyle. “ This is an incredible fucking book. I can’t put it down.”
“Really?” I asked.
“Yes,” he said. “I can see that your research into the gaming community paid off well and I love the damn dialogue. That snarky as fuck character reminds me of Josh a little bit.” I nodded because I put a little bit of Josh in that character. “You know what my favorite part is?” Kyle asked.
“Page one hundred and seventy-five?” I asked, referring to a particularly hot sex scene frequently mentioned in reviews.
“I’m not there yet,” Kyle told me. I could tell he was tempted to skip forward to that page.
“Okay, what was your favorite part so far?”
“Realizing that you didn’t make me the killer or murder victim and discovering that I truly do make an amazing book boyfriend,” Kyle said smugly.
“Yes, you do.”
“Do you have plans today?” I asked Chaz. I hoped we could continue what we started last night. I felt like he had finally dropped his guard and let me truly see him. I liked what I saw and didn’t want to let him go.
“I was just going to do some laundry before dinner at Josh and Gabe’s,” Chaz replied. “Um, you can come over if you like.”
“I like,” I remarked. “Do you mind if we stop for breakfast first? I feel like I haven’t eaten in a month.”
“You’re on,” Chaz replied. “My treat though.”
I started to argue, although I couldn’t say why, then told myself to forget it. If Chaz wanted to buy me breakfast, I was going to let him.
We arrived at Edson and Emma’s diner late enough to miss the pre-church crowd but early enough that the sinners were still sleeping, or so our waitress Daniella jokingly said when she came to the table. I didn’t need to look down at the menu to know what was available since the options had been the same my entire life. Of course, my breakfast wasn’t on the menu because Emma only whipped it up for me.
“Veggie egg white omelet with a side of turkey bacon and wheat toast?” Daniella asked me.
“Yes, ma’am. Thank you.”
Chaz squinted as he peered harder at the menu. “I don’t see that on here.”
“That’s because the doc is special,” Daniella said. “Do you want Emma to make that for you too?”
I laughed when Chaz shuttered a little bit at eating a veggie egg white omelet. “He’ll take a stack of pancakes and a side of real bacon,” I told Daniella. I’d seen him eat it enough to know it was his favorite. Chaz slowly shook his head once Daniella took our orders to the kitchen. “Did I screw up by ordering for you?” I asked. “I wasn’t trying to be a chauvinistic jerk or something.”
“No,” Chaz said. “You were showing me that you’ve been paying attention. That’s a sexy trait you have there, Doc.”
“Not creepy?” I inquired.
“Creepy would be if you’re rattling off something you could only have seen while peeping into my windows or something. Like the color of the wallpaper border in my bathroom,” Chaz clarified.
“Got it,” I replied. “What is Chaz Hamilton’s all-time favorite movie?”
“Goonies,” he replied swiftly.
“Goonies?” I asked in surprise. “I don’t think I would’ve guessed that movie in a million years.”
“Why not?” Chaz asked. “It had a cute guy in it plus action and adventure. Who didn’t want to find a buried treasure as a kid?” Chaz started to laugh and said, “I’ll never forget the summer Josh and I watched that movie. We must’ve asked to go through every musty, dusty attic in our neighborhoods looking for a treasure map. All we found was a mummified mouse and moth-eaten clothes.”
I laughed at his story and decided to share one of my own. “Holly and I were hung up on X-Files,” I told Chaz. “We looked for signs of aliens everywhere. We both snuck out one night to watch the clearing in the woods just outside of town after hearing people talk about odd sightings in the sky.”
“What did you see?” Chaz asked me.
“We fell asleep not long after we got there,” I told him. “We were in so much trouble when we came home the next day.”
“I bet so,” Chaz said.
Daniella brought our breakfasts out, and we got busy eating, but our conversation didn’t end; we just talked between bites. We shared little things like favorite bands, but we also delved a little deeper into what made me want to be a veterinarian and Chaz a writer.
I put my elbow on the table and rested my chin in my hand. “Creativity like yours blows me away.” I smiled when a blush spread across his cheeks. “I’m so excited that your dreams are coming true, but I need you to know that I fell for the receptionist turned salon manager from Curl Up and Dye, not the best-selling author.” Chaz’s cheeks turned a rosy red hue. “He was always enough for me.”
A mischievous smile spread slowly across Chaz’s face. “I should really write this stuff down. You’re something else.”
I could tell by the awed expression on his face that he thought “something else” was good instead of bad.
“I’ll be keeping an eye on you,” I teased him.
I couldn’t say that we were back to the way things were before I found out that Chaz and Drew were the same guy, but most of the tension had faded. I was still disappointed that Chaz didn’t trust me with the truth sooner, but I had to admit that I probably contributed to the idea that I wasn’t approachable. I had an aloofness about me at times, a stoicism that could’ve led him to believe that I was arrogant. It wouldn’t be the first time I gave someone that impression about me. I wasn’t arrogant; I had just never overcome my habit of trying to be invisible in a room to avoid being teased.
I knew two things about the situation with Chaz: he didn’t have a mean bone in his delectable body, and I recognized honest regret when I saw it. He had the same expression the morning after in my hotel room as he had the previous night in my living room. He might’ve done a stupid thing, but not because he wanted to hurt me. I understood that fear caused people to make stupid choices sometimes, just as I knew that people made rash decisions when someone they care about disappoints or hurts them.
I was prepared to let Chaz go home the night before to give myself space to think until he stood up to leave. The disillusionment I felt didn’t just suddenly disappear, but other more pressing feelings overrode it. First, there was an understanding that I needed to prove trustworthy if I expected Chaz to trust me. I told him at the hotel that we could work through any obstacle other than him being in a relationship with someone else, and I had to keep my word. It took a lot of courage for him to admit the truth and I had to prove that I could take it and not overreact. Then there was a brief moment of panic that pushing him away would be the biggest mistake of my life. I knew that we’d botched things too badly to continue down the same road, so I proposed that we start over from scratch.
I couldn’t say that it was behind us, but I definitely felt lighter that morning sitting across from him at the diner. Neither of us seemed in a hurry to leave the coziness we found in the booth, so we lingered over another cup of coffee after Daniella collected our dirty plates. I liked Chaz’s quick smiles and even quicker sense of humor. It was obvious that he flourished onc
e the burden of truth was lifted from his shoulders. He was less guarded and more carefree; it was impossible for me to sit there and not be charmed by him.
I noticed that he got quieter once we left the diner and headed to his house. I glanced over and saw that some of his tension had returned. I didn’t know the source of his unease, but he was obviously wound up about something.
“Are you worried that your house is messy?” I asked. “You’ve seen mine and know I’m not a meticulous housekeeper.”
“Nah,” Chaz said casually. “I’ve had too much time on my hands the past few weeks and kept busy by cleaning the house.”
“Same for me,” I admitted, “except I spent my energy getting things ready for my new house.”
“New house?” Chaz asked. “The one with the pond?”
“Yeah,” I said with a smile. “I fell in love with it and made an offer. I close in ten days, and I’m trying to make sure I have everything organized for the move.”
“I can’t wait to see it,” Chaz said. I couldn’t wait for him to see it. I had plans to give him a very private tour of every room in the house.
“The sudden, unplanned visit to your house isn’t bothering you, but something clearly is,” I told Chaz.
“It’s the Matrons of Maple Lane,” he said sullenly.
“Who?” I asked.
Chaz explained the dynamics of his living situation with me, and I couldn’t hold back a laugh. I knew his mom, grandmother, and aunt fairly well and they all had very strong personalities. I thought it was cute how they fussed and tried to take care of him, although he obviously didn’t.
“Oh, you won’t be laughing when they pop over unannounced at the most inconvenient time,” Chaz said. I detected more than a little hint of whining in his tone, but I was stuck on potential meaning of inconvenient times. Were we naked? I told my dick to stand down because it wasn’t the time to get all rowdy.
More comical than Chaz’s whining tone was the way he scoped out the neighborhood when I turned down his lane. There weren’t many houses and his family lived in the three homes that made up the cul-de-sac. There was no way for me to pull into his driveway without his family knowing unless they weren’t home.
Unscripted Love (Road to Blissville, #1) Page 16