‘How can you be so nice to me, when I’m such a cow?’
His hand combed through her hair, brushing the strands off her face. ‘Because this isn’t the usual you.’
‘How do you know? I might act like this all the time.’
‘I may be wrong, but I don’t believe you do.’
‘I’m boring,’ she announced, suddenly.
‘Who says?’
‘My grandmother, my mother. Probably everyone who knows me, and those who don’t.’
‘Then they don’t know the real you. You’re funny, and sweet, and cute,’ he kissed the end of her nose, which was brave of him, considering she’d cried so hard. ‘And you’re not boring, just a little more subdued than Flossie,’ he said. ‘She takes some keeping up with.’
Nina sniffed and wiped her eyes, though most of her tears had soaked into Leo’s sea-stained shirt. ‘She should show more decorum, at her age.’
‘Which is?’ He pulled back to look at her.
‘Eighty-four, or three. I’m not really sure.’
‘Check her passport.’
Nina checked. ‘Eighty-three,’ she said. ‘I can’t believe we threw a party for her to celebrate her eightieth birthday and she was only seventy-nine. She never said a word. I don’t care if she’s eighty-three or four, Grannie’s old enough to know better. Do you know what she did on the first night we got there?’ When Leo shook his head, Nina said, ‘She waited for me to fall asleep, then she sneaked out and went to a bar with a group of people she’d only just met. I found her dancing on top of the damn bar, lifting her skirt up to her waist, and showing her knickers.’ Nina had a feeling she’d be recounting the story for years to come.
Leo sniggered. ‘She’s cool, your gran.’
‘Cool?’ Nina spluttered, ‘I’d describe her as downright dangerous. She could have fallen.’
‘She didn’t though, did she, and she could fall anytime, anywhere. At least she’s enjoying herself.’
Nina took his comment as a criticism. ‘I enjoy myself,’ she said. ‘But I don’t have to get drunk to do it, and I don’t have to behave like a teenager.’
‘Talking of teenagers, why were you booked into Aphrodite Hotel anyway?’
‘You’re not going to believe this, but my mother and grandmother set me up. At first I assumed it was a mistake, but I now know it was deliberate.’ She paused for a second. ‘The old bat said I needed livening up. Apparently, I’m boring. Ever since we got here she’s been telling me to live a little, let my hair down. She’s worried I’ll get to her age and realise what I’ve been missing.’
‘Is that why you went diving and paragliding, because she thought it would be good for you?’
‘Yes, it’s why we came on this sodding holiday in the first place.’
‘I’m glad you did.’ He gazed into Nina’s eyes and his expression was unfathomable. ‘If it wasn’t for her we wouldn’t be together now.’
Is that what they were – together? As in, a couple? Or was this merely a holiday fling, and Leo was too nice a guy to abandon her?
Chapter 31
‘Wake up, sleepy head, there’s someone who wants to see you.’ It was Leo’s voice, and he sounded far too chirpy.
‘Wuh?’
‘Your gran’s awake.’
Nina sat up suddenly, groaning at the crick in her neck and the stiffness in her back; and her arms, and her legs, and butt, and every other part of her. Even her ear hurt where it had been squashed against Leo’s very solid shoulder.
‘Gran?’ she asked, croakily.
‘She’s awake,’ Leo repeated.
‘Thank god.’ Nina burst into tears again, and she forced her wooden legs to hold her weight as she got creakily to her feet. She had to see for herself, to believe it. Leo tried to help but she stopped him. She needed to get her body working on its own, no pushing or heaving from anyone else, no matter who it was.
Flossie’s eyes were open. She still looked incredibly frail, and old, and ill, but she was alive, which was the only thing which mattered. Nina deliberately tried not to think about how much her grandmother would hate life, if she was trapped in a body and mind she had no control over. She pushed the uncomfortable images to the side; one step at a time.
Nina leaned over the bed, held the other woman’s hand, careful not to hurt her, and stroked a finger over the wrinkled skin. ‘You gave us quite a scare for a while, but you’re okay, you’re going to be okay.’
Flossie pinned Nina to the spot with a sharp gaze, but she made no attempt to say anything. Oh dear, oh no, Nina thought, Flossie couldn’t speak. Her grandmother was going to absolutely hate that.
‘You’re in hospital,’ Nina said, talking slowly in case Flossie had difficulty understanding her, and as she did so she studied the old woman, looking for a spark, some recognition, anything at all, behind Flossie’s steady blank gaze. ‘You’ve had a stroke,’ Nina continued. ‘Don’t worry, they’ve removed the clot from your brain, and they are going to run some tests to see if it’s left any nasty effects.’
No reaction. Nina looked at Leo helplessly. He bit his lip and a crease sat between his brows.
‘Mum and Dad are on their way, they’ll be here later, and as soon as the doctor says you can travel, we’ll take you home,’ she said.
Which home she’d be taken to, Nina was reluctant to mention. Probably to Mum’s, because there was no way Flossie could manage in her own house, not after this. And that would be another thing her grandmother would hate – she liked her independence too much.
Nina’s heart swelled with love. If there was anything she could do to make life easier for her gran, she’d do it.
Flossie’s tongue poked out through her lips.
‘Are you thirsty? Would you like some water?’ Nina frowned. ‘Do you think she’s allowed any?’ she asked Leo.
‘I don’t see why not.’ He poured a drop into a plastic beaker and gave it to Nina. ‘Let me see if we can raise the bed a bit.’
He fiddled with a remote control attached to the side of the mattress, and with a whirr the bed slowly moved and Flossie’s head and shoulders rose. When she was sufficiently upright to make getting a drink inside her without it dribbling down her front feasible, he stopped.
Nina inched forward with the beaker and slid her hand under the back of the old lady’s head, holding her steady whilst her grandmother sipped. Nina examined her closely, searching for any drooping of her mouth or her eyes. To her, Flossie looked fairly normal, if a bit crumpled without her teeth.
With a sigh, Flossie closed her eyes, and Nina carefully lowered her head back onto the pillow. She wiped her grandmother’s chin with a tissue, but Flossie lifted a hand off the bed and waved her away. Nina screwed up her face in relief – at least the patient could move one limb. She gave Leo a small hopeful smile, glad he was still there to share that one tiny piece of good news.
‘I could murder a cup of tea,’ Flossie said quite clearly.
‘Gran! You can speak!’
‘Of course, I can damn well speak. I can hear, too.’
Her grandmother’s voice was gruff but she spoke in complete sentences with no hint of slurring. Nina was elated. Balancing gingerly on the side of the bed, she said, ‘What can you hear, Grannie?’
‘You two talking last night. You didn’t bloody shut up; on and on. And if it wasn’t you pair making a racket, it was those sodding nurses, prodding and poking at me every five minutes when I was trying to sleep. I wish you’d all go away and leave me alone.’
Nina let out a huge sigh. Flossie was fine. There was nothing wrong with her at all, thank goodness!
Later, when a different doctor appeared, examined her, and went away again, all without saying a word, Flossie demanded Nina go get cleaned up. ‘Have a kip while you’re at it – you look like something the cat sicked up. A decent meal wouldn’t go amiss either.’
‘I’m not hungry,’ Nina protested though the thought of a shower made her slightly giddy with
anticipation. She could still feel the roughness of the salt on her skin, and if she didn’t get this bikini off soon, it would need a crowbar to remove it.
‘Not you, me. I could eat a scabby horse, hooves and all.’ Flossie’s face folded in on itself as she grimaced. ‘They’d better give me some breakfast soon. I get constipated if I don’t eat regular.’
Leo snorted, and Nina bumped him with her hip. ‘Don’t encourage her,’ she warned.
‘Will you be alright on your own for a couple of hours?’ Leo asked, and Flossie smiled.
‘Go, I’ll be fine,’ she said, and Leo went off to call for a taxi, fishing the address Asdan had given him out of his shorts pocket.
Nina gave her grandmother a kiss and promised to be back soon. As she made her way to the front of the hospital, she wondered how long it would take to rinse out her only clothes and dry them enough to put back on again. An hour? Two?
‘I can’t believe she’s as well as she is,’ Nina said once they’d checked in. ‘Bagsy the bathroom first.’ She dashed inside and was stripping off even before she’d turned the shower on. Ooh, look, complimentary toiletries, though she would have sold her soul for a toothbrush.
Clean, with a towel wrapped around her boobs and with her clothes dripping in her hand, she scuttled to the balcony and hung them out to dry as best they could. ‘Shall I see if they do room service?’ she called through the half-open bathroom door.
‘Good idea.’
Picking up the menu, she perched on the edge of one of the beds. A movement caught her eye and she noticed his reflection in the mirror, as he pulled his shirt over his head and shucked off his shorts. He wore nothing underneath. Oh my. He was slim, more on the wiry side than burly, his chest defined and his stomach flat; but it wasn’t his chest and stomach which had captured her attention – her eyes were drawn south. She already knew he was all in proportion, but she simply enjoyed seeing him in daylight, in all his glory.
A girl can look without having to touch, and anyway Nina’s stomach was rumbling now the terrible fear had left her. She reached for the room’s phone and chose for both of them.
‘How much did you order?’ Leo asked, around a mouthful of fries. ‘And what is this?’ He poked warily at a dish of brown stuff with meat in it.
‘Some sort of lamb stew, I think, and there’s rice to go with it.’
He dipped a fork in and tasted it. ‘Nice.’
She watched as he devoured his share in little more than thirty seconds, hoovering up the rice like a Dyson on a tight schedule. Then he started on the pasta and sauce.
‘Will you stay here, at this hotel, when your parents arrive?’ he asked.
‘Probably. I’ll see how it goes. From the way Gran was earlier, I wouldn’t be surprised if they let her out sooner rather than later, then we can go home and put all this behind us.’
Leo’s fork stilled and she realised how it had sounded.
‘I didn’t mean…’ she paused, not sure how to phrase it. Should she say “us”? Was there an “us”? She’d like to think so, but this was Turkey, they were on holiday, and nothing was real, not like it was back home. What had happened to Flossie was real, and he was still here, keeping her company, but… and that was the problem – she couldn’t help thinking “but”.
‘It’s okay, I know what you meant and you’re right, it will be good to go home,’ Leo agreed after a strained silence.
‘I’m sorry you had to… you know.’ She shrugged.
‘I was glad to help.’
Was, past tense, she noted. He must be eager to return to his hotel and leave the stink of disinfection and illness behind, and resume his holiday. She’d never forget his kindness, but she was selfish keeping him here.
‘You should go,’ she said. ‘Mum and Dad will be here in a couple of hours. I’ll be okay.’
‘I know you will,’ he said softly. ‘I’ll wait a while if you’ve no objection, to let my clothes dry, and I’ll come back with you to the hospital until they arrive.’
‘There’s no need,’ she protested, seeing how eager he was to be off.
‘I want to say goodbye to Flossie,’ he said.
‘Oh, right.’
The remainder of the food was eaten in silence, except for when Leo switched on the TV, surfed for an English Channel, and the solemn tones of a BBC newscaster filled the room.
‘Same old,’ Nina said, for something to say. She felt like they were two strangers stuck in a lift, the easiness of earlier having disappeared so quickly she wondered if it had been there at all.
‘Yeah, nothing changes.’ Leo sounded desultory.
‘I’ll see if our clothes are dry.’ She scooted outside and felt her T-shirt; still quite damp but it would have to do. Not only was she feeling a nagging urge to return to the hospital to check on Flossie, but she suddenly wanted Leo gone. He made her uncomfortable with his calm assurance, his manners, and the way he had of listening to her as if she was the only person in the world. She recalled how her skin tingled when he touched her, and how she felt light and free when she was with him, and safe and excited all at the same time. And how he didn’t want to be with her anymore, and how she wished he did.
She really didn’t need to feel like this, not now, not ever.
Maybe it was for the best if he did go back to his hotel. They weren’t going to see each other again and, in the tradition of holiday romances the world over, it would be a case of nice-while-it-lasted. Home was home, Turkey was Turkey and the two should remain firmly apart and in their rightful places.
Chapter 32
Less than three hours, that was all she’d been away from Gran’s bedside. Three short hours. And look at Flossie now.
Swelling of the brain, they said, a cerebral oedema. Quite common after a stroke, they said. But what they didn’t say, or couldn’t say, was how much of Flossie’s brain tissue was being damaged by the pressure inside her skull.
Stupidly, Nina used her newly recharged phone to Google it, and promptly began to cry. The prognosis wasn’t good. It was very likely her grandmother might die, and where had Nina been? Ogling a man’s naked body and stuffing her face with food, which now sat solidly in her stomach, making her feel queasy. She should never have left her. She wouldn’t have if Leo hadn’t been with her, but she had wanted to spend a little more alone time with him before they went their separate ways and returned to their separate lives.
Along with the desolation at seeing Flossie so desperately ill, Nina’s heart ached at the thought of never seeing this man again. How stupid, she’d done precisely what she vowed not to do – she’d had a holiday fling and had fallen for him, hard. Her world was falling apart, and there was nothing she could do to stop it; she was losing her grandmother and the man she loved, both in a short space of time.
That was the problem, Nina thought – love.
She loved him. She didn’t want to, but she did, and it hurt. Cross with herself, she closed her eyes, the tears trickling down her face and plopping onto her chest. Leo’s arms came around her, drawing her close to him, but she pulled away and shook him off. He took the hint and retreated to the door, leaning against the frame with his arms folded, leaving her alone with her pain.
A part of her (quite a big part), wished she hadn’t done that, but best not to prolong the agony, eh?
Why, oh why, did she sleep with him? She knew the score, she knew one-night stands weren’t for her, that she couldn’t simply love ’em and leave ’em, as Gran so eloquently described it. She has to take it further, to the extreme. And that meant falling in love with him. Love was never a good idea, despite what her friends claimed. When you’re led by your feelings, you’re not in control, and Nina hated not being in control. She was so out of control now she could scream.
Look what happens when you let your guard down and let love in – bad things, that’s what, like getting your heart broken for instance (one of her smugly married friends was no longer quite so smug, nor quite so married –
not so unusual, just look at the divorce rate), but she never expected her nearest and dearest to pay the price of her brief excursion into happy-ville. The simple truth was, if Nina hadn’t been so loved up, she would never have gone on that boat trip to Dalyan, and though she wasn’t naïve or stupid enough to believe her being with her grandmother would have made any difference to Flossie’s health, at least she would have been there for the old lady. Nina would never forgive herself for letting Flossie suffer on her own.
She cast her mind back over the last week. Yes, she had been happy, for a couple of days at least, but even those days weren’t consecutive, and the first day, the Elephant day, was mostly one night. The next one had been – yesterday? Was it only twenty-four hours since she and Leo had been playing Katharine Hepburn to his Humphrey Bogart, and life has seemed so simple and carefree?
Well it wasn’t either simple or carefree now was it, and Nina suspected life never really had been. Her time with Leo (and what a lovely time it was) had been an illusion, a break from reality, and Nina had been slammed back down to earth with a bloody big jolt.
‘Nnuh?’
‘Gran?’
‘Nunun.’
‘What is it? I’m here Grannie, I’m here.’ Nina’s voice broke as she stroked the delicate skin on the back of her grandmother’s hand.
The old lady kept her eyes shut and Nina thought she’d fled back down into unconsciousness, changing her mind when Flossie’s fingers curled around her own, in a weak grip. At least the old lady knew Nina was there, and Nina vowed not to move an inch until…
‘I wan yuh to geh weh,’ Flossie said, her words slurring.
‘What do you want, Gran? Water, is it?’
‘Nuh, weh.’ She huffed the last word out.
Nina glanced at Leo, who remained by the door. He shook his head. He didn’t understand Flossie either, but he stepped forward, a speculative look on his face.
‘Does it begin with “W”?’ he asked.
‘Yeh.’
‘Wuh-ah?’
Summer on the Turquoise Coast Page 21