‘Nuh.’
‘Wuh-eh?’
‘Yeh.’
‘Wuh-eh-ah? Just say “yes” when I get to the letter you want,’ he told Flossie.
Nina raised her eyebrows and puffed out a breath. She would never have thought of doing that, and once more, almost against her will, Nina was grateful for his presence.
‘Yeh, tha.’
Leo had been working his way slowly through the alphabet, giving Flossie time to speak after each letter and he hadn’t got very far. ‘Wuh-eh-duh? Is that it?’
What was Flossie trying to say? Nina mouthed the letters, and as Leo spelled them out, she realised what her grandmother was trying to tell her.
‘Wed? I don’t understand,’ Nina said.
Flossie huffed, her cheeks expanding, the sunken cave of her face filling out. ‘Muh,’ she started again.
‘Married,’ Leo said. ‘You want someone to get married, or they are already married?’
‘Geh.’
‘Get married?’ Leo asked.
‘Yeh. Nuhnuh.’
‘You want Nina to get married?’
‘Yeh. La wshh.’
‘La? La-buh? La-cuh? La-duh?’
‘Last wish,’ Nina interjected. ‘She’s saying “last wish”. Isn’t that right, Grannie?’
‘Yeh.’ The old lady sighed and seemed to sink back into her herself. No, please, no. Nina watched, waiting desperately for the next breath, holding her own. The seconds grew longer.
Flossie sucked in another lungful of air, and Nina let hers out in a rush. She studied the old woman’s chest for a few minutes more, making sure there was a rhythm, then leaned back in the chair.
‘I can’t believe she said that,’ Nina stated quietly. ‘What a thing to say. She’ll have many more wishes; she’s not going anywhere, except home. Why is she so intent on finding me a husband?’
‘Perhaps she wants to see you happy and settled?’ Leo suggested.
‘I’m happy now. It’s not like it was when she was young and women had to have a husband to validate themselves.’
‘I don’t think it’s got anything to do with validating yourself as a woman. Flossie strikes me as the kind of lady who doesn’t need anything or anyone to validate her. Did your grandparents have a happy marriage?’
Nina shrugged. ‘I think so. Gran was certainly devastated when he died.’
‘Maybe she wants you to have what she had?’
‘Marriage isn’t always a bed of roses, you know.’
‘I expect she’s aware of that, but I think she’s trying to tell you that nothing is as important as family, and maybe she wants you to start one of your own, and experience all the joys it will bring.’
‘I don’t want to get married,’ Nina protested, trying to make Leo feel less uncomfortable. She hoped he didn’t think she felt the same way as her grandmother; talk about putting the poor bloke on the spot. They’d only known each other five minutes and she hadn’t known his surname until yesterday, and she still didn’t know much about his life back home, and here was Flossie talking of marriage. Nina also hoped he didn’t think he was the designated groom.
‘Nuhnuh?’
‘I’m still here.’
This time Flossie opened one eye and regarded Nina balefully.
‘We-d. You ’n’ hi.’ Flossie’s single eye sought Leo out.
‘Me and Leo?’ Nina’s voice was flatter than a wet Monday morning. Don’t do this to me, Gran, she begged wordlessly. She was acutely conscious of Leo standing by the door where he’d retreated to, once his odd conversation with Flossie ended. It looked like he couldn’t wait to escape, and Nina wondered why he persisted in staying, especially with her parents about to arrive at any moment.
She half-turned to him. His expression was impassive. He just wanted to get out of there, she could tell, and she wished she had the freedom to walk away like him, to return to normality, to let life trundle on as it had before, forgetting about love, and death, and heartache, but it was love which made her stay, and duty which kept her anchored and held her firm.
She would see this out to the end.
Flossie sighed, stirring restlessly, and once more Nina resumed her vigil, and once more Leo remained a solid rock in the river of her fear, giving silent support from his chosen place by the door. She didn’t know how she would have coped had he not been there.
A commotion, a disturbance in the force, and Nina knew without looking, that her parents had arrived.
She stood, her eyes blurring with tears, and stepped into her mother’s embrace as they entered the room in a flurry of bags and discarded sweaters. The two women hugged fiercely. When Nina found the courage to loosen her hold, she noticed her mother’s gaze was fixed on the tiny woman in the bed.
‘When did she get to be so old?’ Alice whispered. ‘She doesn’t look like your grannie.’ Sudden hope flared in her eyes, to be extinguished as quickly. ‘For a second, I thought there’d been some kind of mistake and it wasn’t her. Oh Derek, I can’t bear it.’
Nina took her bottom lip between her teeth to stop it from wobbling. Flossie might be her gran, but she mustn’t lose sight of the fact that this was her mother’s mother. Nina could only appreciate a fraction of what Alice was going through. Lord protect her from the day Alice died, she thought.
‘Right love, what has the doctor said, assuming you was able to understand him.’ Her father took charge and Nina was grateful – she was heartily fed up of being an adult.
‘It was a her,’ Nina said, ‘and her English was very good.’
‘Yes, but are you sure you know what’s going on? Did they explain it to you?’ her dad persisted.
‘I’m sure. Gran had a stroke, as I told you on the phone. They did this procedure where they go in through an artery in the groin and up the body to the brain. Once there, they sucked the clot out.’
‘What went wrong?’ This was from her mother, always ready to do battle, and if anything had gone wrong, Nina definitely didn’t want to be in the shoes of the person responsible.
‘Nothing,’ she said. ‘It went perfectly well. Grannie was even sitting up and having a conversation with us this morning. She seemed fine, considering.’
‘So what happened?’ her dad persisted.
‘We went to the hotel for a couple of hours to shower and have something to eat, and when we came back, she was like this.’ Nina’s voice broke, and she sagged against her mother. ‘She’s got an oedema, a swelling in the brain. It’s quite common after a stroke, apparently.’
‘I’m sorry you had to go through this on your own, poppet. We’re here now.’
Her mother patted her back, though Nina sensed Alice’s own tears were very close to the surface, and she wondered who was comforting who.
‘What now?’ her father asked.
‘We wait. Apparently, the oedema gets worse before it gets better, and only time will tell the extent of it, and to top it all off, there’s the very real risk of pneumonia in these cases.’
‘Oh.’ Alice’s voice was small and her eyes once again filled with tears. She busied herself with wheeling their case around the other side of the bed where it wouldn’t be in the way, and taking out an assortment of objects.
‘She likes lemon barley water,’ Alice said, placing a half-used bottle on the over-the-bed table. ‘I wanted to bring grapes, but your father refused to stop off at the supermarket on the way.’
‘You wanted to get to the airport in time, didn’t you?’ He turned to Nina. ‘We wouldn’t have got here at all if your mother had her way and we’d “popped” into Tesco’ (he used his fingers to make quotation marks). ‘There’s no such thing as “pop” where your mother’s concerned. She’d have done a weekly shop once she got in through those doors.’
‘You’re exaggerating, as usual. I only wanted a few bits and bobs, nothing much.’
‘Go on, show our Nina the list you wrote. It’s two sides of A4. We’d have needed to buy another case.’
Nina tu
ned out the bickering; she was used to it and her parents actually seemed to enjoy it.
‘Who is “we”?’
‘Eh?’ Nina had been studying her gran’s chest again, when her mother tapped her on the arm.
‘I said,’ Alice repeated, ‘who is “we”?’
‘I’ve got no idea what you’re talking about, Mum.’
‘You said, and I quote, we went to the hotel. Who did you go with?’
Shit, she’d forgotten to introduce them to Leo in all the flurry surrounding their whirlwind arrival.
But when she looked towards the door where he’d been leaning a few minutes ago, he’d gone.
Chapter 33
One or the other of them always stayed with Flossie; usually her or her mother, and her dad was used as a gofer (‘go fetch some fresh water, Derek’; ‘go and find the nurse, Derek, the smiley one’ and so on). By that evening, Alice had sent Derek to book into the same hotel as Nina, had argued with the insurance company, and had persuaded Nina to return to her original hotel back at the resort.
‘Get a taxi and stay there tonight. I’ll ring you if…’ Alice trailed off. ‘You look shattered. Try to get some sleep. Your dad and I will take it in shifts to watch your gran.’
‘I’d have to collect our stuff anyway soon – we’re due to fly home tomorrow, so I’ll have to fetch our things and check out.’ Nina’s lip wobbled again. She didn’t want to go, but it had to be done.
‘I know, and your dad and I have been talking about that. We think you should fly back as planned.’
‘You what?’
‘You can’t do anything here. You’ve done enough already, and those damn people,’ (Alice had been referring to HoliDays Insurance employees as “those damned people” ever since she’d made her first phone call to them, and by now she’d made several) ‘will only cover the costs of one of us. Your dad will have to pay for himself. Damn cheek! They’d be singing a different tune if it was one of their mothers in a hospital bed, let me tell you.’
Before Nina had chance to fight her corner and insist on staying at the hospital, her mother had bundled her out of the door.
‘Wait.’ Nina walked back into the room. ‘I must say goodbye to Gran.’
Her parents knew what she meant. With a significant look at her father, her mother pushed Derek into the corridor. ‘Let’s stretch our legs for a minute, shall we?’ Nina heard Alice say. She also heard the grief in her voice.
Nina waited until they’d gone a safe distance and approached the bed.
‘I’m sorry, Gran. I should have been a better granddaughter. I could have visited you more, spent more time with you.’ Tears streamed down Nina’s face and she could barely get the words out for sobbing. This might be the last time she saw her grandmother, the last time she had a chance to tell her she loved her. Even now it might be too late, as it was unclear whether or not the old lady was aware of the world around her. Nina convinced herself Flossie could hear her, and did understand; it was the only way she could say goodbye without totally breaking down.
‘I want to thank you,’ she said. ‘For your love, for your support, and for your faith in me, but most of all I want to thank you for forcing me to come on holiday with you. I’ve loved spending time with you and I’ll always treasure our time together.’ Nina smiled, her face wet with tears. ‘I love you, Grannie.’
‘I love you, too.’ Flossie’s voice was as clear as an anchor-man on TV.
‘Gran?’
‘I’m here.’ The old woman hardly spoke above a whisper, but there was no slurring, no having to force the words out. Nina understood her perfectly.
‘Go after him,’ Flossie breathed. ‘You love him.’
‘I do not!’
‘You do, I can tell, and he loves you. Don’t waste it.’
Nina stared at her grandmother in wide-eyed astonishment. ‘He loves me? How do you know?’
‘I’ve not lived this long without learning a thing or two.’ She paused and Nina wondered if she was still conscious. ‘He told me,’ Flossie said, finally.
‘He did? Oh.’ A kaleidoscope of emotions surged through Nina’s mind: Leo loved her; Gran was dying; Gran might live; she loved Leo; her gran was right; her gran had no idea what she was talking about…
Too much all at once, and Nina resorted to the one thing which usually worked for her – she crept back into her sensible shell and dealt with one thing at a time. She needed to say goodbye to Grannie, and if the goodbye happened to be a permanent one, then so be it. Flossie might be awake and lucid but, as Nina had discovered once before, it didn’t mean the old lady was out of the woods.
‘I love you, Gran,’ she said, pouring her heart into the words, this time with the knowledge that her grandmother understood her, and if those were the last words Grannie heard coming out of Nina’s mouth, then Nina would have to accept it. At least she had a chance to say goodbye.
A noise at the door made her glance up from the figure on the bed.
‘Mum, Dad, look, she’s awake and talking!’ Nina leapt to her feet, grabbed Alice’s hand, drawing her closer to her grandmother. ‘She – Oh!’
Flossie lay motionless and silent, her eyes and mouth half open.
Nina’s voice broke as she said, ‘I think she’s gone.’
Chapter 34
Nina remembered nothing of the taxi-ride to her resort. She remembered very little of the rest of the day at all; it had been awash with red-tape and paperwork. When Nina felt she could be of no more use, she got in a taxi and went off to pack up the detritus of her holiday.
‘Miss Clarke, welcome.’ Asdan greeted her at the desk, coming out from behind it to pull her to him and kiss her on both cheeks. ‘If the hotel can do anything?’
‘I fly home tomorrow,’ she let out a big sigh. ‘I just need to pack our things and check out in the morning.’
‘No need to check out. It will be done for you, and I personally will arrange private transport to the airport for you.’
‘Thank you. Will you pass on my thanks to all the staff, you have been wonderful.’
‘You and Mrs Gibbins have been in our thoughts. Allah rahmet eylesin – may God’s mercy be with her.’
Nina nodded her thanks and left him staring after her with his liquid brown eyes. The hotel management had been brilliant, considering they weren’t used to dealing with elderly people. They were probably more familiar with cases of alcohol poisoning and broken limbs from guests falling over whilst drunk. She must remember to send them an email thanking them when she got home.
The room was as she left it. It even smelled of Flossie – an aroma of Chanel No. 5 and mothballs. Only the best for you, eh, Gran?
Nina scanned the inside of the wardrobe. Was it necessary to pack all her grandmother’s things, the swimwear, for instance? It would just be more for Alice to deal with when she got home, and Flossie certainly wouldn’t be wearing those darned bikinis again.
Decision made, Nina called reception and arranged for someone to bring a cardboard box or a bag to her room. They knew of someone who would benefit, rather than throwing them out. Though Nina imagined the look on the recipient’s face when she opened the bag, expecting to see old lady clothes inside, and instead coming face to face with a lurid pink scrap of cloth.
The memory of Flossie wearing it made Nina smile sadly. She had the feeling her grandmother had worn it to highlight Nina’s staid middle-aged choice of swimwear. She had a feeling her grandmother had worn, said, and done a great many things she might not have if Nina had been less set in her ways and more youthful in her outlook.
Flossie had been holding a mirror up to Nina’s face, but Nina had steadfastly refused to look in it.
She was looking now alright, and what she saw dismayed her. As a child, she’d never been one to take risks, or to throw herself wholeheartedly into something. She’d always hung back, letting others test the water for her, and even then, she didn’t always dip more than a toe in. She’d been a spectator,
watching life from the side-lines, never really taking part. She was the same now that she was an adult she realised, too cautious to take chances.
Not anymore. Flossie might be in her eighties, but her grandmother’s life was fuller and more exciting than Nina’s had ever been. Flossie might have done most of the things she’d done lately to prove a point but, dammit, the woman had had fun whilst she was doing them. Nina recalled the look of sheer happiness on her grandmother’s face when Nina enthused excitedly over the octopus. Flossie hadn’t dived herself, but she’d seen her granddaughter’s joy and it had made her happy.
Apart from this holiday, Nina couldn’t remember the last time she’d felt so light, so unburdened as she had since they’d arrived in Turkey (she deliberately didn’t include the last couple of days), and it was all thanks to her grandmother for showing her how precious and wonderful life could be, and the potentials it held.
She didn’t have any intention of fulfilling Flossie’s wish for her to marry; not Leo nor anyone else. Not any time soon anyway, unless a suitable man could be magicked out of thin air, but she did intend to take life by the tail and hitch a ride. She intended to start by seeing if she could retrain. For her, teaching had run its course. She’d only fallen into the profession because she had lacked the balls to make a less safe choice and follow her heart. Nina didn’t have a firm idea of what she wanted to do, but archaeology definitely held an appeal. Maybe she could do some volunteer work on the weekends and in the school holidays, just to make sure she liked it. There was no point in jacking in a well-paid, secure job for a new career just yet – better to give it a trial run first, and if she found she didn’t like it, she could always give something else a go. Besides, teachers had to give at least a half term notice, which meant she wouldn’t be able to start a course until a year September – plenty of time to plan and prepare.
Plan and prepare – it looked like some things would be more difficult to change than she anticipated. Leopards, and spots, and all that.
Her busy hands found the bottle of duty free vodka, and she remembered Grannie buying it at the airport.
Summer on the Turquoise Coast Page 22