Arissa's Destiny (Redemption Trilogy)

by Amanda Daul

  Suddenly, she was angry and her eyes narrowed, watching him double over, pressing an arm against his ribs. Her strange words shot out, confused and harsh, “Why are you dressed like that?”

  He tilted his head to look up at her standing beside him. Sweeping his eyes over her once, he breathed heavily through his words, “Seriously? You’re the one walking around wearing cattle, looking bloody fantastic, by the way, and my wardrobe is the one being questioned?”

  “I told you to stay behind! What the hell are you doing here, Trax?”

  He scoffed through a wide grin, sighing before straightening to his full height, towering over her only slightly. Trax’s blue eyes found hers, both engrossed and annoyed by her reactions. Arissa noticed beads of sweat on his skin and it wasn’t just from the heat of the day that had passed hours ago.

  “I told you,” he stated, clearly and to the point. “I wasn’t going to let you go alone.”

  “You just left the camp? Do you have any idea what could happen if someone reliable isn’t there to watch over everything?”

  “No worries, I’ve got my best man on the job.”

  Arissa felt every muscle in her body twitching and stinging, she was so angry. “And who would that be?”

  Trax let his gaze fall from her fiery eyes to the death grip she still had on the dagger, as if ready to attack. He gestured toward it. “Would you mind dropping that? Unless you’re really that desperate to get rid of me, you won’t be needing it.”

  Instantly, the blade fell from her hand as if it burned her. Another instant before knowing it was Trax and she may have killed him. She didn’t let herself react, but she felt a hot knot of horror burn in her stomach when she looked up and saw a thin drip of blood streaming from his throat. Her eyes must have said it all, because he then raised his hand to touch the wound, his fingertips coming away bloody.

  “Good job, Arissa,” he muttered. “I needed a reminder that trying to help you is the fastest way to get myself killed.”

  “Who did you leave at the camp?”

  Trax took his time in answering, obviously enjoying the unbearable suspense it was causing her. He began to pace, behind her and out of sight for a moment before appearing beside Raze, resting the hand that wasn’t pressed against his ribs to the horse’s shoulder.

  He swivelled quickly to face her, only a flicker of pain lighting his eyes from the sudden movement. His eyes were so blinding to look at, his eyebrows positioned so perfectly so that it only added to the intense, crippling glare that he was capable of. If she let herself get caught in it for too long, it nearly made her forget what she had even been thinking about. The man was dangerous simply for the effect he had on her.

  Finally, he stalked toward her slowly, leaning close to her, as if his balance was uneven. “Captain Travis Sayer. If you bothered to believe anything that I’ve told you, he was my most sought after recruit.”

  “I remember,” Arissa shot back, instantly. “You didn’t tell me you actually convinced him. When did he get there?”

  “Moments after you left. If you hadn’t been so impatient and underhanded about taking off like you did, perhaps you could have met him. He’s quite a charmer. Of course...he couldn’t possibly compete with myself.” Again, with the dazzling smile...

  “I told you not to follow me! This was something I wanted to do alone.”

  “I know you wanted to be alone, but that’s not what I want, or what you need, for that matter. Arissa, I’m not stupid. I know that everything you’ve told me recently, everything you made me think was a lie. You were trying to set it up so that I thought we had become allies, or...acquaintances with a truce, at least.” Even before he spoke, Arissa already knew what he was going to say. She was annoyed, but also impressed that he had seen through her scheme the whole time.

  Trax continued. “I’ll admit, I nearly fell for it. Dodging my plan to meet, accepting my uncouth company and being downright tolerable for a very short time. You’re a beautiful woman, Arissa, and an excellent liar.”

  The whole time he had been speaking, taunting her, he had been pacing. Once again, he was out of her line of vision, though she could sense him, feeling his breath on the side of her neck as he leaned close enough to her to be able to smell the distinct scent she had grown to know because of him, the faint mixture of forest, leather and alcohol, blending into something that was uniquely Trax. It sent a shiver through her spine before he even spoke his final, chilling words.

  “But not as good as me.”

  Arissa spun around to face him, shoving her hands hard against his chest, away from her. Her eyes were ablaze as she shouted, her words flying faster than she could understand them. “What are you trying to prove, Trax? What? You may have caught onto me, but I’ve always been onto you. You think you’re so great at deceiving? If that was true, then you would have tricked me into trusting you a long time ago. I’ve already told you this, so it shouldn’t be a surprise to anyone. I don’t like you! I don’t want anything to do with you and I wish that you had never started this rebellion, because then I wouldn’t have to wake up every single morning thinking about how I can avoid you today. All you do is cause trouble and try to make me doubt everything I know and I’m tired of it! I don’t want you here. I don’t need you! This was the last straw with you. Consider yourself lucky, because I’m giving you a choice now, to leave. You’re a drifter. It’s what you’re good at. Leave before I do something to make sure that you won’t interfere with me again.”

  She didn’t allow herself to acknowledge the transitions of emotions flash through his eyes while she had been speaking. Anger, irritation, revenge, hurt and amusement all among them.

  Arissa’s chest was heaving, feeling winded from her long and breathless rant. Her heart pounded savagely against her ribs, but her darkened senses made her immune to the aching pain it normally would have caused. She felt completely cold, heartless. It was exactly what she wanted to feel.

  Her threats were anything but hollow. She was quite sincere about them, but apparently he didn’t think as much. Trax simply sidestepped slowly until he was directly in her face. His expression was neutral now, blank of any anger or sadness. His eerily light eyes burned into hers to the point that she was almost uncomfortable.

  “No.”

  Arissa didn’t fully understand. “No? After all that, that’s all you’ve got to say? No?”

  “No,” he repeated, this time with purpose. “I have a great deal more to say, but it’s perfectly clear now that you don’t deserve to hear it. So I’ll just be keeping that to myself then.”

  “Please feel free,” she sniped back, shoving her hand against his shoulder to put some distance between them yet again. “I still want you gone.”

  “Yeah, I don’t think so,” he said, breathily, while walking toward the woven wall by the trees. “I may not care much for you, Arissa, but I’m still in this for the greater good, and to me, that’s myself. You don’t have a choice. We’re in this together because we both want the same outcome and you can be damn sure that we’re the only ones.”

  Arissa bit down on her lip quickly, before another insult could fly from her mouth. She needed a few seconds to think about what he had said. Her first instinct was to fight his decision to stay, but the set look of determination in his suddenly cold eyes told her it was a hopeless cause. She would find a way to lose him later, but for now, her mind was stuck on his last statement.

  “What do you mean we’re the only ones? All you’re gonna get from me is a very hesitant maybe on the ‘we’re in this together’ part, because we both know that all that bonding you tried to create back at the camp was fake on both our parts. But now I’m conflicted, Trax. The whole point of the camp is to finally be able to take over the General, to gather a large enough following that we can overthrow him and now you’re telling me we’re the only ones aware of this? Explain.”

  Seeing that he was still absentmindedly rubbing his ribs where she had sunk her elbow and crush
ed with the force of her knee, it brought a quick smirk to her face to see him in pain. She hated him more now than she ever had, after following her and filling her mind with everything that she had spent all day forgetting.

  The all too familiar flame of distrust flared up in her again, this time provoking her actions. In less than a second, Arissa had neatly unsheathed her dagger from the strap slung across her back, holding it threateningly close to Trax’s exposed throat, the blood from the last blade not yet dried. It was no surprise to her that he had his own blade present at the same time, matching the distance between her throat and his weapon precisely.

  “Explain to me what you’re talking about,” Arissa whispered, clearly. Everything about this man burned of dishonesty and betrayal, unbelievably magnified since leaving the camp.

  “You wanna put your sword down?” He suggested, holding his blade firm, but gesturing with his other hand that he was willing to give in if she were to cooperate.

  “Not even a little bit,” Arissa snapped back, using the split second that he let his guard down to trust her and took the opportunity to twist her blade so that it connected with his own, flipping it right out of his hand and to the ground. The next instant, she had the blade to his throat again, her hand fisted into his hair to keep him from turning on her. “Tell me. Now!”

  “My God, when you get onto something you just don’t let up, do you? I admit, it’s a quality I would admire if you weren’t always at my throat...literally.”

  The pressure of the dagger opened the partially dried wound on his throat, provoking the blood to roll again. “Don’t think for a second that I won’t finish what I started. So, are you going to tell me what the hell you are talking about or would you prefer your new living quarters to be a shallow grave?”

  Trax chuckled once, the skin scraping audibly along the sharp blade. He swallowed hard, flinching at the pain it caused and after visibly rolling his eyes, he finally spoke. “You read way too much into what people say, Arissa. Not everything has to have an alternate meaning. It’s just a special talent of mine that I enjoy exercising. But if it’s the only way to get your bloody knife away from my throat, I’ll enlighten you.

  “You know exactly how the citizens feel about what’s happened to the government and about the General himself. All they want to see is him brought to his knees in front of them, to face judgement and to pay for what he’s done to our country.”

  “My country.”

  “Same land, different claim, love. My point is...they’ve been so tortured over the years, that they are too afraid to even think about doing what they really want to do, so they’ll settle for him to spend a life sentence in the Vailwood reformatories. I think I speak for both of us when I say that’s not what we want.”

  “You want to kill him,” Arissa concluded.

  “Don’t you?” He groaned, gasping slightly against the blade. As he had been speaking, mention of the General had caused her to tense and unknowingly apply even more pressure. She dropped her arm suddenly, shoving him away from her. Trax stumbled to his knees, pressing one hand to his throat, lowering himself to sit on the ground with the other.

  “Of course. My mission isn’t complete until he’s dead. If that’s the only thing that we can agree on, then that’s more than enough, I’d say. I don’t need you to be cooperative. I don’t need you to like me, because I’m doing this either way. Though, you should know, nothing will stop me and I won’t let anybody get in my way. If they do...” The threatening tone of her voice made her point more than clear. His slight nod was enough for her to accept the agreement.

  Now that they had once again, reached some sort of truce, perhaps this time one that meant something, since they were both completely honest about their intentions this time. Trax began to chuckle again, like he had earlier. “Damn it, Arissa, I wish we could eventually find some sort of alliance, because I really envy those skills of yours. Granted, I did get the jump on you before, but you’re pretty handy with just about any weapon, I’ll give you that. We’d make a hell of a team, love.”

  As he was speaking, wiping the blood stains from his hands onto his dark pants, Arissa bent to retrieve the handle of his sword. She ground the tip of the blade into the dirt for a moment, as she stood, towering over Trax on the ground. He looked amused, as if they had just shared another of the unsettling moments that made Arissa so wary of him. She would play along with him again, but this time, she had no intentions of falling into his trap again.

  “Sorry,” she muttered with complete insincerity, tossing the blade down to him. In a flash, his hand shot out and caught it, effortlessly, his eyes barely leaving hers to blink. Her last snide comment drifted rhythmically from her lips, sounding just as torturously sweet as she had hoped, “I work alone.”

  It wasn’t until she had turned and stalked slowly away, leaving him on the opposite side of the small camp. When she looked up at her dozing stallion, she noticed a smaller, bay horse standing just behind him, recognizing him from the stable she had retrieved Raze from.

  Annoyance began to overwhelm her exhaustion when she heard Trax rise to his feet, but when she heard him shout out to her, almost angrily, but still inquisitively, it made her feet freeze where they were. All at the same time, her heart dropped into her stomach and her eyes widened, feeling as if she’d been punched. Immediately, she was already thinking of ways to cut Trax out of the picture, to remove him for good, because now it was clear to her that she would never be able to trust him ever again, simply for what he now knew.

  “Who is Janelle?”

  Chapter Twelve

  He couldn’t know about her, it wasn’t possible. There were a lot of things, a lot of different tactics and strategies that Arissa had used over the years and unfortunately, most of them had eventually worn out or fallen apart at some point. She was never sure if anything she did was ever right or if she had done it well enough, but if there was one thing she was sure about, it was that nobody had found out about her secret.

  Trax knew her name. It was impossible, but he knew. This was the first time Arissa honestly felt scared.

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” To attempt to make the lie believable, she turned and stared him straight in the eye. Her cold expression was unyielding, yet it was obvious that he didn’t believe a word she said.

  “We just went through this, Arissa. Let’s not do it again, hm? I don’t think my throat could survive another one of your malicious attacks.” Trax was already reverting to his taunting, flirtatious self that Arissa now realized is what he used to disarm her.

  “I have no idea what you mean,” she muttered again, still keeping her gaze steady on his.

  He scoffed, breaking the eye contact and began to close the distance between them as he paced an uneven line in an arc around her. “I’m serious, Arissa. I don’t like you, you don’t trust me, we’ve established that. Twice, now, I believe. All I’m asking is honesty. At least with the things that are connected to our mission, because without it I’m afraid we’re descending into a losing battle before it even begins. I can tell when you’re lying. So who is Janelle?”

  Arissa bit down hard on her lower lip, feeling the pain pierce through her nerves as she struggled to find something to say. He was right and they needed to be brutally honest, but Janelle was the one thing she couldn’t risk.

  She wanted to scream at herself. She hated this man, loathed him, even. They had just blatantly agreed to not like each other in exchange for working together to hunt down the General. Behind all of her bitter resentment and distrust towards him, some unknown part of her still couldn’t compel herself to lie to him. It wasn’t guilt that was holding her back, it was something else, but it was something she couldn’t identify. “I can honestly tell you...I don’t know a thing about her...whoever she is.”

  Turning away, Arissa felt her shock and terror burning in the pit of her stomach. He knew. Somehow, Trax knew about Janelle and if he knew, it was impossible to k
now how many others knew about her. She was the one thing that someone could as leverage over Arissa. The thought made her heart drop.

  Through her muddled, panicked thoughts, she heard Trax’s upbeat voice chip up behind her again, with words she dreaded to hear. “I thought perhaps you had gotten the message and decided not to lie to me, but I see your faith is still a work in progress so I’ll save you the trouble and skip this part. I know Janelle is your daughter.”

  Once again, Arissa was at his throat in an instant, sword outstretched so that the shimmering point was propped under his chin. As much as she tried to hide it, her eyes were drowned in more worry and grief than in anger and she knew she couldn’t trust her voice not to show what she was thinking.

  Trax rolled his eyes, lifting his hands up and letting them fall again, mockingly. “Really, darling? I’m getting rather tired of this. Can’t we have one cordial conversation? I do have a bottle with me, if that’s the secret to having a pleasant natter with you.”

  “How do you know about Janelle?” her voice nearly trembled with fear for her daughter. Already, she was conspiring ways in her mind about how she could protect her without Trax knowing about it. One very simple solution came to mind.

  With a flick of his wrist, he batted the blade away from him, taking a quick step out of her reach. “Relax, Arissa. Nobody else knows, just harmless, little ol’ me. I can see why you would keep her a secret, but my real concern is much deeper than that. For the life of me, I cannot fathom your reason for risking your life, fighting for a bunch of people that you don’t even know instead of spending time with your child. Sure, I know of your desire to earn back your land, but when you look at the big picture, what is a country compared to your own child?”

  “You’re not allowed to talk to me about her. I don’t know how you found out, but I swear, if you even think about her one more time, I will kill you. Nobody else is going to know about her, do you understand me?” Hardly a second passed without an answer before Arissa tossed the sword to the ground, viciously and stormed forward to grab hold of Trax’s collar, threateningly. His short lecture about everything she wanted to not think about successfully summoned the rage out through all of her agonizing concern, disdain bleeding from her expression. “Do you understand me?”