The Biggerers

by Amy Lilwall

  Jinx knew why.

  On the other side of the ski footprints and the other side of the glass door, Blankey and Bonbon stood together looking down at Blankey’s feet. Ooo, why was that? Jinx ran out across the hall, across the kitchen, out of the vacuum hatch and into the middle of Outside.

  ‘Jinx, Jinx! Look what I’ve got.’ Blankey stuck a leg out of her humcoat and turned it this way then that way.

  Jinx ran over and looked at the end of the leg. ‘Oh!’ she said.

  ‘And another one.’ Blankey pulled up a few little cat tails so Jinx could see the side of the other foot. She was right; there was another one the same. And they were both grey, like her coat and the curly sleeping-tail on her head.

  ‘Just like them!’ Jinx shook her head. ‘Just like what they wear!’

  ‘Can you walk?’ Bonbon asked.

  Blankey nodded big nods before lifting her knee to hip height and planting her foot on the ground a long way in front of her. She did it again with the other leg and continued like that around the middle of Outside.

  ‘Oh,’ said Bonbon.

  ‘That’s not proper walking!’ laughed Jinx.

  Blankey showed her teeth. ‘It is.’

  ‘Shut up, Jinx.’ Then: ‘Don’t listen to her, Blankey.’

  ‘Why don’t we have shoes, Bonbon? We don’t even have our humcoats.’

  Bonbon blinked.

  ‘The She-one leaves my humcoat in my room so I can put it on whenever I want.’ Blankey put her hands on her hips and stuck her lips out at Bonbon.

  Bonbon stiffened. Blankey’s room. Lucky old Blankey with her room and her dead-cat shoes. And her stupid dead-cat humcoat and her stupid mouth sticking out like Jinx’s bum-hole after she’d eaten a piece of the plant. Bonbon shivered. She wanted her own humcoat so badly. Even if it wasn’t made out of fluffy long things all attached to each other like that. Why did she get all this stuff? Blankey didn’t ever feel like searching for stones and hair and feathers and string, because she had much better things in her stupid room. She had cushions, like the ones they jumped on when it was feather day, but her ones were little and had been made for her basket. She said she had loads of them. She said that she had another thing in her basket, made out of the same stuff as her humcoat, but she didn’t put it on; it was just to sleep on so that she didn’t get cold at night. And then there was that thing that she stamped on with her foot to make flakes come out whenever she wanted them. Even in the middle of the night.

  And now these bloody shoes.

  Jinx put her head on one side. ‘Can we see your room, Blankey?’

  Bonbon looked at her. She just got weirder and weirder. ‘What a stupid thing to say.’

  ‘Chips and Blankey come to our Outside all the time.’

  Bonbon scratched her elbow and it made her shiver again. Chips and Blankey did come there all the time. She looked up towards the top of the bars. They seemed to go all wobbly at the very top. No… No. It just wasn’t right. And anyway, she really didn’t want to see Blankey’s bloody room. Why did Jinx have such weird ideas? ‘We’ve never been outside of our Outside.’

  ‘We’ve never tried.’ Jinx put her hands on her hips.

  Bonbon’s mouth opened to answer, then closed again. They hadn’t ever tried… But… This was stupid, what was she even thinking of, listening to Jinx? And why was Jinx being so stupid, standing there with her hands on her hips like that? ‘No!’ said Bonbon. ‘We are not going outside of Outside.’ She made to leave but turned around and came back again. ‘And Blankey and Chips have never, never, come inside the house, Jinx! So you can’t go into theirs!’ She was really shouting.

  ‘I just don’t understand, Bonbon,’ Jinx sniffed. ‘Why do you have to be so nasty?’

  Blankey stroked her cat tails and watched. ‘But you don’t go out,’ she said. ‘How can you come and see my room if you don’t go out?’

  ‘That’s right,’ said Bonbon. ‘How can we, Jinx?’

  Jinx wiped at one eye then licked at a shiny line that ran from her nose and over her top lip.

  Bonbon put her hands over her ears. ‘I’m going back.’ And she turned and left.

  ‘Why are your eyes all wet?’ said Blankey.

  Jinx sniffed again. If they hadn’t tried to go outside then that was the only reason why they’d never been. Her bottom lip popped out and she let it wobble. If they never tried then that was the only reason why they would never go. That was all… But only she thought these things and, and, it seemed like she mustn’t; nobody else thought these things. A word popped into her head.

  ‘I’m crying, Blankey.’

  ‘Oh,’ said Blankey.

  Blankey saw it. Jinx knew that she saw it because she looked at Jinx the way Chips had looked at the dead bird, sort of, frightened. Then she put out a hand and stroked Jinx’s face all over, murmuring, ‘Oooo… Oooo’ as if she were crying too.

  ‘I’m going now, I’m cold.’ Jinx took Blankey’s hand from her face and squeezed it. ‘I really like your shoes.’ And she turned and left.

  Bonbon was getting it. Jinx didn’t feel like it so she went straight to bed. Stupid Bonbon.

  Later, she woke up and felt Bonbon next to her. It was dark but not too dark that she couldn’t see Bonbon’s still, blonde head. Jinx rolled onto her back and went to sleep.

  Something ducked down below the edge of the basket just as Jinx turned over. He didn’t want to be seen. When he was sure that she was really asleep again, he peeked over the edge and continued to watch her. She had one arm up behind her head and all of her hair was gathered up into it, somehow; he knew it was all up in her arm because there was no hair around her face; he could follow the edge of her face as it upped and downed over eyebrows and cheekbones all the way across to her chin without one piece of hair getting in the way. Then the line started again at her shoulder where it turned into an arm that lay over a tummy; its fingers disappearing around the curve of a waist. He put his hand out for the third time that night but again he remembered just in time. Drawing his hand back he tucked it under his other arm.

  Poor Jinx. Bonbon could be so mean to her sometimes. She would get so red and cross. Jinx was just clingy. That was all… She had touched his arm when he said that. She liked it when he said that.

  He rubbed his mouth and looked up again at the bits that he liked the most. Her breasts. Even though she never had her humcoat on when she saw him, for some reason, he didn’t like to just stare at them; it made him feel… bad. Maybe it was because he didn’t have any.

  He’d felt strange that time when she talked about his thing like that. He didn’t like talking about what was different about them, but at the same time, he did like to think about it. And look at it. She wasn’t allowed to know that he liked that. He didn’t know why she wasn’t allowed to know; but she wasn’t. He blinked. Sometimes when his water bowl and his food bowl were empty, he would turn them upside down and think about Jinx’s breasts. Although, looking at them now, he realized they were not quite the same. Jinx’s breasts were more like… What were they more like? His own buttocks, yes! He’d never thought of that before. He arranged himself so that he was on his knees and sitting on the heels of his feet. Then he sat up straight, reached behind him and started to rub his own buttocks. His eyes closed… Yes, this was what Jinx’s breasts were like.

  ‘Chips…’

  He stopped and opened his eyes just as Jinx was closing hers. She sighed and turned her face the other way.

  Chips froze, hands still on his buttocks. He stared at Jinx without breathing. When he absolutely had to breathe, he thought to himself that it was time to go. Rocking back onto the soles of his feet, he unfolded upwards and crept back towards the vacuum hatch.

  CHAPTER 3

  ‘Trish has been replaced and I don’t know why.’

  He looked over his glasses at her, his eyes two glistening strips. ‘Who’s Trish?’

  ‘A colleague at work.’

  ‘Does she know why?’r />
  ‘I don’t know. I can’t contact her.’ A laugh. ‘I’ve never met her. I wouldn’t have known except the new Trish makes lots of spelling mistakes in her emails.’

  ‘The new woman is also called Trish?’

  ‘It’s a work name.’

  ‘—.’

  ‘I’m not called “Emma” at work. I have a work name.’

  ‘And the person that replaces you would… take that work name?’

  ‘Exactly.’ A sigh. ‘I’m just wondering if she left or if she was made to go.’

  ‘Maybe she was old enough to retire.’

  She almost laughed. ‘I hadn’t thought of that.’ They smiled, their gazes running forward and catching each other like two happy children. Hers flicked to the clock then back again, her smile gone.

  Bonbon was the first to wake up. She sat up and looked over the edge of the basket. Both bowls were full.

  She stood up and stretched.

  ‘Come back for a minute, Bonbon.’

  ‘—.’

  ‘Oh please, I get cold when you’re not here.’

  Bonbon’s chin juddered and her teeth made clicking noises. ‘The bowls are full, Jinx,’ she managed, swinging one leg over the side of the basket – oh those tiles were cold! ‘And it’s string day.’ She walked on tiptoes towards the bowls, took three mouthfuls from Jinx’s bowl and started to eat from her own, but her shoulders shook so much that she couldn’t chew properly. The flakes weren’t as nice as they usually were; they were too big for her mouth today. Her mouth and teeth shivered as she chewed and the shivering seemed to take up all the flake room. She tried a smaller mouthful. Still too big. The dining room would be warm. She would lie on the carpet in the dining room, that’s what she would do. She wobbled from the kitchen and stopped in front of the dining-room door, standing on one foot, then the other. Bugger, it was closed. And usually there was quite a lot of string in the dining room. She hugged herself.

  ‘Bonbon, why didn’t you eat your flakes?’ Jinx stood at the kitchen door rubbing one eye.

  ‘Too cold.’

  ‘Too cold even to eat?’

  Bonbon ignored her and carried on hugging.

  Jinx watched as her hands almost touched between her shoulders. ‘I don’t think it’s any colder than yesterday. Look at me, Bonbon; I’m not cold like you, am I?’

  ‘—.’

  ‘I know! Would you like to lie on a cushion?’

  A nod.

  ‘Come on then.’ Jinx held out her hand. ‘Come with me to the big room. We’ll find a really good cushion for you to lie on.’

  ‘Not the shoe one,’ Bonbon shivered.

  ‘No. Not the shoe one.’

  In the living room, Jinx rubbed her chin as she walked below the sofa and its row of cushions. Once she got to the end of the sofa she turned around and walked slowly back again. Hmmm… The heart-shaped one? The sausage one? Wool? Velvet? Cotton? Plastic? Nope, not plastic…

  ‘Which one, Jinx?’ shivered Bonbon.

  The really woolly one. It would have to be the really woolly one. But she didn’t know the word for it. She reached up and pulled at a corner; fluffy rabbits scampered through the inside of Jinx’s head. The cushion fell to the floor in a floppy somersault and the rabbits were gone. ‘This one, Bonbon. The angora one.’

  Bonbon was already leaning against it, eyes closed. ‘I don’t know what that word means, Jinx.’

  Jinx helped Bonbon swing up onto the middle of the cushion and made her lie flat on her belly. ‘Better?’

  ‘I want my humcoat,’ Bonbon replied, her buttocks twitching.

  Jinx glanced around the room for something to put over Bonbon. Nothing. How could there be nothing? Another cushion maybe? No, that might be too heavy. Her eyes rested on a vase in the middle of the small table. What about… Yes! She ran to the sofa and climbed onto it; from there she stepped onto the small table, towards the vase, and lifted out a rose with both hands cupping the underside of its head. She was careful not to touch the long green bit. That was really dangerous that bit. She threw the rose onto the floor then climbed down after it. ‘I’m coming, Bonbon!’ she said as she pulled handfuls of petals from their base. The Dead Bird watched what she was doing from the inside of her head. She shuddered and started to pull the petals out gently, making a careful pile next to her. ‘You know, Bonbon, we should have a petal day.’

  ‘I don’t know… that word… Jinx.’

  Jinx climbed up onto the cushion with the petals under her arm. Bonbon was still on her stomach, her face half-hidden in the angora and the one eye that Jinx could see was shadowy and shut. Jinx arranged the petals over Bonbon; there were enough to make nearly three layers! She would feel so much warmer now.

  ‘Hmmm…’ hmmmed Bonbon.

  Kneeling beside Bonbon, Jinx put her hands on her hips and beamed.

  ‘There aren’t enough flowers… to have a petal day…’ Bonbon said so quietly that Jinx put her hair behind her ears to hear her.

  ‘Yes. You’re probably right. They are lovely and soft, though, aren’t they?’

  ‘—.’

  ‘It would have been a good idea, wouldn’t it, Bonbon?’

  ‘—.’

  Jinx looked around her, hands still on hips. ‘Dum-dee-dum,’ she said, then: ‘I know! I’ll just go and get some of your flakes to put next to you. In case you get hungry.’ She climbed down from the cushion. ‘I’ll be back in a minute, so don’t worry. I’ll come straight back, okay?’

  Bonbon could be so sweet sometimes. It was probably because she was poorly. It was so nice when she let Jinx do things for her, because there were lots of things that Jinx could do, but when Bonbon wasn’t poorly she had to do what Bonbon wanted her to do. Jinx crossed the hall, leaping over the tiles almost one at a time, trying to fit one whole tile into each leap. So today wouldn’t be string day! Hurray! Unless… Unless she collected so much string that Bonbon would be really pleased with her. After clearing two whole tiles in a row, she had entered the kitchen and added a twirl to each leap. Jump, twirl! Then maybe Bonbon would realize that she was good at things too and then she would let her do more things… Jump, twirl! Like the petal day idea. Bonbon had liked that idea. ‘There aren’t enough flowers to have a petal day,’ she had said. That meant that she had liked the idea. Jump, twirl! Maybe there were more flowers somewhere. If only Jinx could find them. Jump, twirl! Jinx stopped just in front of the flakes.

  How had Bonbon known that petals came from flowers?

  Jinx thought.

  She said that she didn’t know what that word meant…

  Jinx bent towards the flakes and caught a big salty whiff.

  Bonbon must have smelled them and realized what they were! That was it. They did smell lovely.

  She scooped up a handful and started back towards the big room.

  Or, perhaps she had opened her eye, very quickly, just to see what Jinx was covering her up with.

  Yes, that must have been it, she thought as she skipped across the hall.

  Jinx spent the first half of the morning trying to get into the dining room. First of all, she tried to jump high enough to reach the handle. That didn’t work. She tried to climb up the door frame. That sort of worked, but she only managed to get a little way up and her foot would get tired. She looked for something to climb on to be able to reach the handle. There was that long pointy thing by the door. What was the word for it? The thing with a spike at the end. She looked at it for a minute. Nope, the word didn’t come. Funny that sometimes it did, sometimes it didn’t. Anyway, the thing could help her to reach the handle. Jinx went up to it and put her arms around it. It was dry this time. Sometimes it was wet and Jinx would drink the water that collected at its spike. She pulled at it and the spike moved forward. She pulled again and the whole thing moved, Yes! She yanked it, hard, once, twice… The thing started to wobble, she tried to steady it but it was too strong. The wobble turned into a sway. She let go and it fell backwards into a row of shoes.


  ‘Jinx?’

  Bonbon! ‘Yes, Bonbon?’ Jinx ran to the big-room door and looked at the big cushion and the pile of petals, all flat and peaceful except for a little blonde head that stood up at one end.

  ‘What was that?’ husked the head.

  Bonbon sounded terrible.

  ‘Um. The thing with the spike.’

  ‘Oh.’

  ‘It fell.’

  ‘Oh.’ Bonbon put her head back down, then lifted it back up again. ‘Are you alright?’

  Jinx laughed and ran over to the cushion. ‘Yes, Bonbon!’ She twirled once in front of Bonbon. ‘Look, Bonbon, I’m fine!’

  ‘Alright.’ The head went back down. ‘You mustn’t play with the umbrella. If it fell on you you’d be really hurt.’

  Playing? She wasn’t playing! ‘I wasn’t! I just…’ She put her hands on her hips. ‘Well, someone has to get into the dining room for string, and the only way to reach the handle is to climb up the umbr, umbr, the umbr…’ Jinx stopped. ‘How did you know the word for it?’

  ‘We both know the word for it.’

  ‘No! No, we don’t!’

  ‘Of course we do.’

  ‘I never knew that word.’

  ‘Oh, Jinx. Just, go away now please. I’m too tired… Leave me alone.’

  Jinx stared at Bonbon. The corners of her mouth started to pull downwards. She could be really mean sometimes. She sniffed and walked towards the door.

  Really mean.

  Jinx spent the second half of the morning in the toilet box.

  At lunchtime, she waited for them to come home to fill up her food bowl. Bonbon’s was still full but Jinx wouldn’t touch it, not even one flake. She huffed. This was silly. They always waited for her to come home at lunchtime and she never did. Well, she had done when it was warm time, but hardly ever since. But they waited for her anyway. In fact, there were a few things that they did that were silly. Like collecting things. All this string, paper, feathers, hair, stones – what were they collecting them for? For their basket? But the soft bit in the bottom of the basket was far nicer than all of the dirty and spiky stuff they put on top of it, and the big She-one would sometimes come and take all of their stuff away again. Jinx didn’t know what she did with it, but sometimes they’d go to the basket at night and it would all be gone and the basket smelled just lovely. Like the petals in the big room. Jinx really liked going to sleep in it when it smelled like that. Bonbon would go quiet. For at least two days she would hardly say a thing.