Through the Lens

by Laura Sutton

  “You think it's ok to be happy? Even with my past?”

  “I think it's because of your past that you deserved to be loved unconditionally. Now you should go home, apologize to that man,” Gordon said looking at Claire.

  “Apologize?”

  “Claire, the way you came in here and his main security man outside. It's safe to say you probably scared him to death, again.”

  “Oh shit! Shit!” Claire started pacing the room. “Oh man, you're right. He was looking at me this morning like I'd lost my mind. I didn't even notice at the time that he was even there.” Claire started to pace the office. Gordon grabbed her arms.

  “I'm sure he'll be fine once you go talk to him.”

  Claire opened the door and Max was standing there. “Can you drive me back?”

  “Of course, Ms. Henderson.”

  Claire bit her lip. How was Aidan going to handle me once I came back? She had cursed at him at least once she remembered but it could have been more. He had promised that he would spank her, and not sexually if she cursed again. Claire practically ran into the apartment and up the stairs to Aidan's bedroom. At the door's Claire took a breath and pushed the door open and closed it.

  “Hi,” Claire said weakly as she saw Aidan sitting on the leather couch in a pair of his jogging shorts and t-shirt. She could see that he had been working out, probably in his gym, since Max had been with her. Aidan arched his eyebrow staring at her. “Please say something?”

  “Are you ok?” Aidan asked, coldly.

  “I am now.” Claire looked at him. “I'm in trouble.”

  “Yes.”

  “Sorry I cursed.” Claire walked to him and sat down beside him on the couch.

  Aidan held out his hand and she took it as he pulled her onto his knee as he would a child. He was so angry at Claire for leaving, for not talking to him, for cursing even though she knew he hated it, for not trusting him. Tears started to fall down her face, but she didn't make a sound. He righted her on the couch beside him. “Talk.”

  Claire looked at her hands. “I freaked out this morning.”

  Aidan closed his eyes and hung his head, “You had a flashback.”

  “No.” Claire put her legs up onto his other knee and slid into his chest. She was going to expose herself completely to him but there was no way that she could look at him while she did it.

  “I woke up this morning and I was happy. It terrified me. I tried calling Alyssa, but she didn't answer. Soon I was panicking over all the thoughts that were flying through my head. I couldn't breathe. I went to Doctor Gordon.”

  “What could she do that I couldn't?” Aidan asked as he tightened his grip around her, letting her know that she was supported and protected in his arms.

  “She was the doctor when I went to a hospital when I was a child. She is my doctor and counselor all in one. She is the only doctor that's seen me over the years because of her security clearance with...”

  “The FBI she told me that part.” Claire looked to him quickly. “Claire, I know you have a past and I told you that I would not press you and I won't but when you get scared just talk to me or tell me what you need and I will get Gordon for you.” Aidan kissed her as he slid an arm around her. “Claire, you're more than my submissive. You're the woman that I love, and I want to spend my life with. You have got to talk with me when you are feeling this way. I cannot take care of you, give you what you need if you don't trust me. If you don't talk to me. I'm here to keep you safe, protected. I can't do that if you are running from the house like you are on fire.”

  “I know Aidan. I'm so sorry. This is all... it's all so new to me.” Claire snaked her arms around Aidan's waist as he adjusted his arms. She pulled herself into him as much as she could. Aidan could still feel her shaking a small bit. “My father... he's in prison for rape, torture, and murder, for at least ten girls. He was sentenced to twenty years to life.” His grip tightened. “I was only eleven when I was brought into the hospital and Doctor Gordon spent days getting close to me. My father had left me home alone for days, I was chained around the neck to a ratty radiator. No food, no clothing. In the hospital, I hid in the corner of the room or inside the closet. Doctor Gordon came into the room and sat on the floor and slowly inched closer to me, telling me stories or reading books. She was the only one, besides Alyssa that I would even speak to.” Aidan kissed her head as he held her tight. He wanted to kill her father.

  Claire stopped talking. She couldn't tell him more. She leaned her head up and she saw Aidan looking at her. She reached up and kissed Aidan. Aidan laid down on the couch, kissing her as he pulled her on top of him. He kept kissing her as his hands roamed up her body, lifting her shirt, pulling it over her head and throwing it to the ground. Claire got up from the couch and pulled down her jeans slowly. No panties. Aidan smiled as he watched her unhook her bra and let it slide from her arms and onto the floor. She leaned down and grabbed the waistband of his shorts and pulled them down slowly as Aidan lifted his hips. His erection sprang free of the shorts as he stripped off his shirt, she kissed the tip of him. She rubbed him down her body as she kissed him from his torso all the way up to his mouth. She rubbed her hand down him and positioned him as she slowly pushed her way onto him. She bit her lip a little nervous as he let her be on top and she rode him, arching her back as he reached up and touched her, urging her on. He gripped her thighs as he pushed his hips up, quickening the rhythm for a moment until she stopped, and she took his hands and put them above his head like he'd done to her so many times. “Want it faster?”

  “Yes.”

  “You know what to do,” Claire whispered in his ear as she moved very slowly.

  Aidan snaked his arm around her waist and flipped them unto the floor. She gasped at the cold tiles on her back as he smiled and kissed her, he pounded into her.

  “Harder.” She whispered. “Harder, Aidan.” He smiled as he kneeled up putting her thighs on his thighs, arching her back off the tile and pounding harder into her as he gripped her thighs hard. She moaned in pleasure at every push into her. She screamed his name as he kept moving in her, lengthening the orgasm. He pulled out of her. She saw him, that he didn't finish, “You didn't...”

  “Let's have a little repeat of our first morning together.” Aidan smiled as he got up and gave his hands to help Claire to stand.

  “To repeat which time?” Claire smiled as he took her hand and led her into the shower. Watching him turn on the shower made Claire's inside tightened just at the memories.

  The steam was rising as Aidan pulled her into the shower, kissing her. He pushed her up against the shower wall. She pulled him tightly to her, kissing him. He broke off and grabbed both of her thighs and jammed himself into her, “Aidan. Aidan.” She moaned as he slowed his pace as he felt her tighten. He pulled out quickly.

  “If you come again then you can't stand for what I want to do to you next,” Aidan said, biting her lip as he broke their kiss.

  “Lean over. Grasp the handles. Put that pretty ass up in the air,” Aidan said as he ran his hand over her back as the water hit the dimples in her back. Aidan stepped up, cupping warm water in his hand and grasping her sex. The water ran down her thighs as he kicked her leg out spreading her wider. “Close your eyes. Stay like this.” She heard Aidan get out of the shower. Claire kept her eyes closed as she heard drawers opening and closing.

  Aidan got back into the shower. “I'm going to try something. It's going to hurt briefly until you adjust to the size but tell me to stop at any time and I will.” Aidan moved behind her. “Do you understand?”

  “Yes,” Claire said quietly.

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yes,” Claire said a little louder, looking back with a smirk as she kept her eyes closed. “May I open my eyes?”

  “No. I like that you can't see. Only open if you can't handle it.”

  She heard a vibrating sound but kept her eyes closed tight. The sound of the squirting of liquid gel made Claire bite her lip in
anticipation. He pushed his finger into her anus and rubbed it around. The gel numbed her a bit as she loosened her hold on her lip.

  “Stand up.” He moved her into the spray of her warm water, taking one wrist he tied it upwards, then took the other wrist and did the same. Both of her arms were held above her head. Eyes shut. He slid on a blindfold and she finally relaxed. Aidan slid her leg out farther, sliding his hand up her leg rubbing her center until he felt her wetness grow between her legs. He moved in front of her positioning himself, he grabbed her legs. “Keep your legs wrapped around me. Don't come until I tell you.”

  “Yes, sir.”

  Aidan rewarded her with a kiss at her obedience as her legs were wrapped around him. He added lube to the realistic dildo he was holding. He pushed in the vibrating dildo to her ass as he pushed himself into her vagina. When he was buried deep inside her the dildo was out, when the dildo was in, he was at her entrance teasing her. He set a rhythm as she writhed in pleasure. A smile on her face as he pleasured her. The rhythm kept up until Claire small voice pleaded, “Aidan, I can't hold on.” He kissed her, “Now. Come now Baby Bear.” A few more thrusts and Claire exploded as he pushed both himself and the dildo deep inside her at the same time. She arched into Aidan's waist her back arching towards the shower handles, her hands wrapped around the ropes he'd tied her with as she tightened and came with a fury.

  “You didn't... how do you control...” She asked feeling him inside of her, throbbing in need.

  “Baby, I can never get enough of you and I'm going to have my way with you one more time.” She bit her lip as she used the leverage of the ropes she was holding and rocked herself onto him. He moaned as she rode him from the air, and he met her thrusts. He unhooked her legs from around him, pulling out of her. Her lip came out in a pout. “I'm going to take you but not here.” He unhooked her arms, lifting her into his arms, turning off the shower. He walked her to the bed and laid her down gently. She opened her legs wide as she looked to him. He crawled onto the bed, lying on top of her, kissing her, his arousal grazed her folds. He licked her lip begging for entrance, and he claimed her mouth, her hips lifted to invite him inside of her. He slowly moved in her as he arched his back as a surfer followed through on his board before he stood on the wave. He sunk to the mattress only to make the ride again over her body. His length submerged deep in Claire as he moaned. He slowly consumed her, ravished her until her release stroked his hardened cock and his release gushed warm ejaculation inside of her. He stayed above her as he stared into her eyes. “Thank you for trusting me, Claire.”

  She kissed him. “Thanks for not running or throwing me out.”

  “Never.”

  Hours later Claire and Aidan were lying in bed. He stared at the ceiling as Claire was lying cuddled up against him and he rubbed her back, absent in thought.

  “Aidan?”

  “Hmmm.”

  “Would you... I mean if you have the time... would you come to my gallery opening? I mean I can't be your date since I'll be super busy, and I don't want to leave you alone or someone may pounce. But...”

  “Pounce.” Aidan laughed. Claire smiled. She loved hearing him laugh. His deep laughter felt like a protective glove that folded around her like a favorite blanket. “Even if they pounced, I would never notice. I've only eyes for you, Baby Bear.” Aidan kissed her forehead. “I already planned on going and I have a cute little woman going with me.”

  Claire suddenly saw green. Was this jealousy? she asked herself. Hell yes, this was jealous. Aidan was hers and hers alone. Aidan smiled as he felt her tense.

  “Ella even said she'd dress up, but she'd dress up for a pool party.” Aidan shook his head. His little sister loved a party almost as much as she loved dressing up in dresses and heels. Before Claire, he was thinking about staging an intervention on his sister, but her shopping means had changed to help Claire to dress better for all the events that he had to attend throughout the year.

  Claire instantly relaxed in his arms at the mention of Ella. “Good. I'll make sure to warn her of poachers and how to handle them?”

  “You think she can handle them?”

  “Oh yes. She has handled quite a few when I tried on that little black dress you hate so much.”

  “I can't think of one I hate. You look amazing in all of your little dresses.”

  “Yes, but this one is just for you.”

  “I may have to talk her into getting you more, little dresses.” Aidan smiled as he turned to look at Claire in the eyes. “You happy?”

  “More than I've ever been.”

  “You'll tell me if you're ever upset again. I can't help if I don't know. This morning I wasn't sure what was wrong.”

  “But you still kept me safe. You sent Max to watch over me.”

  “Yes.” Aidan looked back to the ceiling, drawing little circles on her back. “I also got a call from him and my sister about them calling a code on you. That you couldn't breathe. Rebecca said your lips were blue and your knuckles white from your grip on your shirt.” Claire kissed Aidan's chest. “She thought I had done something. She described the fear in your eyes. I didn't think that you would return.”

  Claire snuggled closer to Aidan. “Growing up, I was never cared for, loved, or even wanted. I was everyone's punching bag. I did not know or understand how I was really feeling this morning. When I have a... feeling, it's Alyssa that talks me through it. When I couldn't reach her... I went to a dark place. I'm just glad I remembered Doctor Gordon. Though I think I scared a few years off her life. I've only called her twice with an emergency in eleven years.”

  “Claire, I'm here now. Talk to me as if I was Alyssa.”

  “It's awkward... it's feelings that I'm feeling for you.”

  “Claire, I know you. You love me I know you do.”

  “I do.”

  “What could be awkward about that?”

  “You make me happy. Gordon says it's a 'universal emotion' but not to me. I swore that with my past I would never allow myself to feel the happiness that I had seen in movies because I didn't deserve it. You make me feel that I do. Gordon says that I do.”

  “You do Claire. Never feel awkward with me.”

  “Yes sir, Mr. Ashby.” Claire smiled as he kissed her.

  Chapter Eighteen

  The past week had passed in a blur it felt like as Claire laid in bed staring up at the ceiling. “A week,” she thought in fear. Just one measly week until the huge gallery opening. Claire had been working non-stop and had forbidden Aidan from coming into the building. She did not want him to see it until it was perfect. She had put her heart and soul into everything that she had to make her dreams come true and to prove that she was worthy of the gallery to everyone. She was swamped at the gallery until Aidan would come to collect her and make her come home. He usually had some surprise waiting for her to help her relax and come back to her normal self and not the control freak organizer she was when she was putting everything together. It was the first time that she really would let Aidan see her, her emotions on display for all, and it had to be perfect. She turned over to face Aidan. He looked so young and carefree when he was asleep. She reached out and slid her finger down his chiseled jaw, a smile on her face. He was perfect for her, he had his own demons and that helped him not to judge her, only protect her harder. He opened his eyes and smiled at her.

  “Why are you awake?” He asked, his eyes trying to stay open.

  “Too much on the brain. Go back to sleep.” She kissed him as she moved from the bed.

  “Claire it's three in the morning. Come back to bed.”

  “Can't, I have so much to do and you promised me dinner tonight and for once I'd like to clean up before I do that.” Claire leaned over and this time he met her kiss.

  “I'll see you at six.” Aidan smiled as he laid back down, falling back to sleep.

  Claire walked into her studio. The construction crew had even put in a two-way glass where people could see out, but no one could see
, and Claire was happy about that. The windows were the one worry she had with the sun's exposure to the paintings. She put her bag down on the front desk and started looking at the paintings that they had out on the floor. Her assistant she hired a few weeks ago was a godsend. He was going to hang them, but she was arranging them how she wanted them first.

  Before she knew it, her assistant had come in and was hanging the paintings. Claire was stuck in the main room staring at the blank wall. All her pictures were for sale, even her snapshots but she wanted to put up the best pictures. She had Todd print off all her pictures. She looked at them and froze. It was several shots of Aidan that she had taken when he was engrossed in work or when they were out. A picture of him and her at the zoo. She had set her camera on a tripod and set the timer, Aidan grabbed her at the perfect moment and kissed her. You could barely tell who the couple was, but you could feel the love in the picture. She started laying out pictures and without thinking she grabbed the picture of Aidan in the snow, his back to her and enlarged it, printing it on the printer that Aidan had made for her. Soon it was framed and up on the wall, showcased in the center as she strategically placed the smaller pictures of landscapes, photoshoots, their moments together, and other pictures she had taken over the last couple years around it.

  Claire lost herself in the project before her. Until her phone ringing brought her back to reality. She grabbed it quickly, she started walking around the gallery, smiling as she heard Alyssa on the other end.