Beauty Bites

by Mary Hughes

  “Isn’t here,” I said. “If she’d been telling the truth and the painting were here, you could have saved it.”

  “I’d never have—”

  “Yes, yes, but if you had, while I’d be scarred for life, she’d be out the painting. If you chose me, I’d keep my face but the painting would be given an acid bath. And she’d still be out the painting.”

  Ric gaped down at me.

  “Hell.” Aiden turned back. “Camille had no intention of letting that portrait out of her grabby little mitts. She tricked us both.”

  “My household is screwed.” Ric rolled off me, landing heavily on the floor.

  “No, don’t you see?” I said. “She keeps winning because we’ve let her set the goals. The fight for Meiers Corners, possession of the picture. They’re all her images. To win, we change what we’re after. Change it to our picture.”

  “I know what I’m picturing.” Aiden’s eyes were diamond hard. “Cutting off her head.”

  “Nosferatu would get another lieutenant,” Ric said. “We need the picture.”

  “No,” I repeated. “Think bigger. The picture is a tactic, not a goal.”

  A plan had solidified in that lightning strike of understanding, one so outrageous and audacious I couldn’t even admit to myself I was thinking it. Elias had given me the clue. If I could pull it off, Ric wouldn’t have to fear Nosferatu.

  Camille groaned, reminding me there was a time limit on this offer.

  “Can you restrain her? So we can travel with her but she can’t mist?” I pushed to sit and winced when my sore arm complained loudly.

  Ric leaped to his feet and offered me his hand.

  I could have stood myself, but it was a sweet gesture. I raised my left arm and found myself flying onto my feet and into a hug that squeezed the breath out of me. Okay. One moment to rest secure in Ric’s arms.

  Camille groaned again and started to move.

  “Restraints, now.” Or this would all be for nothing.

  “Got it.” Aiden reached into his coat and brought out a dangling set of metal handcuffs. “Electrified. Key’s in the lock.” He tossed them to Ric. “Told you they’d come in handy.”

  Ric caught the cuffs one handed, his other arm still wrapped around me. “Sometimes you’re damned annoying.” He released me, bent over Camille and cuffed her wrists together. Then he removed the key and slipped it in his pocket. “No, wait. Scratch the sometimes.”

  Aiden gave a theatrical sigh. “This is the thanks I get for suffering being stuffed in a car trunk with you.”

  “You suffered?” Ric pressed something on the cuff and it lit up briefly. “You kept punching me.”

  “Not my fault.” Aiden crossed arms. “You kept kicking.”

  “Because you were making snide remarks about how I smelled.”

  “Boys.” I clapped my hands. “You guys bicker like Statler and Waldorf. Sorry to interrupt this male bonding ritual, but we have work to do.”

  “Boys?” Ric hmphed. “We’re rough and ready vampire assassins. ‘Boys’, indeed. Who are Statler and Waldorf?”

  “The grumpy old hecklers in the Muppets.”

  “Muppets.” A choked laugh came from Aiden.

  “Oh, that’s just not fair.” Ric’s expression was adorably pained. “I work my ass off for decades to make him smile and you get a laugh for Muppets? Lame.”

  “Life isn’t fair. Sorry.” And I was, and I’d continue to fight for the less fortunate, but I was done hobbling myself for assholes like Camille. “I have a proposal for Nosferatu. I’d tell you, but I don’t want her to hear.”

  “We’re going to Chicago?” Ric asked. “How do you expect to get past all Nosferatu’s guards to see the little Gollum himself?”

  “Camille’s our security. How long will those cuffs hold her?”

  Her eyes slit open, a line of emerald green. We all looked at Aiden.

  His smile sharpened. “Days. They’re low level, annoying, unless she tries to mist. Then they’ll zap her, and she’ll collapse back into her natural form.”

  “What if she tries to mist repeatedly? Won’t the battery wear out?”

  Aiden unzipped a couple inches of jacket. “Then I have this.” He reached into the breast pocket and pulled out a blunt-muzzled gun.

  “Whoa.” I held up palms. “I thought bullets were only effective on regular humans. Around here, that’s me. And Chicken Little, if he counts.”

  “This is a stun gun.” Aiden indicated the end, where a probe cartridge was already loaded. “If she gets feisty, I’ll zap her.” His grin was kinda pointy.

  Camille checked out the cuffs, then looked from Aiden to Ric to me, and back to Aiden. Her lips curled and her eyes opened fully. “Nice try, darlings. But I have quick reflexes.”

  She leaped to her feet and ran.

  But before she’d moved Aiden hit the trigger. Two probes shot out, trailing long wires. They were slower than her but they’d had a head start. With a crack, they hit her square in the back. She stiffened abruptly and fell to the floor.

  “You have quick reflexes, I have a nasty disposition. Guess which is faster.” Aiden’s thin lips quirked as he ejected the cartridge. “If she even looks at me funny, I’ll zap her again.” He loaded another cartridge, then put the stun gun in a jacket pocket. “And I’ll enjoy it too. Let’s go.”

  We called 911 for Charles and headed out. As we came down the stairs Rosie threw open the Annex door. Harry ran ahead. We dashed along the sidewalk.

  It was only the next building over, but by the time we hustled inside the three vampires were starting to smoke. The guard on duty looked the other way; another member of Ric’s condo group, apparently.

  In the parking elevator I pulled out my cell phone to call Twyla.

  “You’re alive,” were the first words out of her mouth.

  “Surprise. And I’d like to stay that way. I’m with Ric and Aiden. We’re going to Chicago to offer a proposal to Nosferatu—”

  “That’s suicide!”

  “Not entirely. We’ve got Camille as insurance against his good behavior. But if something happens, I want you to call the Ancient One. If we haven’t reported in by dawn, I’m trusting you to make him protect Ric’s household.” We exited into the garage.

  I could practically hear Twyla’s slim eyebrows sweeping into her hairline. “Do I have a choice?”

  “Nope. One more thing.” I’d remembered what Elias said about Nikos needing vampire blood and related it to her.

  “Thanks.” Her voice hitched. “I can almost believe he’ll be okay now. All right, if I don’t hear from you by dawn, I’ll make the call. Good luck.”

  “You too.”

  Ric led us to the corner where the firm’s fleet was parked, including a smoky sedan and a luxury curtained limo. Rosie and Harry waved goodbye, Harry climbing into the sedan while Rosie took off in my little hybrid to return it to the cabin.

  Aiden shoveled Camille into the back of the limo, climbed in after her and shut the curtains. The days were getting shorter, but sunset was still well past eight, so I’d be driving. But to my surprise, Ric took shotgun. When we hit the street he turned a little red, but the passenger side windows must have been treated because he didn’t smoke. There was a medical experiment I’d love to try. The effects of various wavelengths of electromagnetic radiation on vampire physiology—how much sun before they went whoosh?

  Once I hit the freeway, I had nothing to do but think. Or actually, rethink. My plan had flaws—we were headed into the opposition’s maw without immediate backup. Problem was, bringing in Bo or his gang would have screwed the one advantage we had.

  “So this proposal you have for Nosferatu.” Ric echoed my thoughts. “You’re not entirely sure he’ll agree to it, are you?”

  “What makes you say that?”

  “Your last-will instructions to Twyla, bequeathing my household to Elias.”

  “No! That’s not…I’m not… That’s only for if we’re injured.”


  His silence spoke louder than words. I chilled. I was naive thinking in terms of “dangerous”. Nosferatu was deadly.

  No, we held Camille hostage, and Ric and Aiden were the best. That wasn’t wishful thinking or conjuring images—I’d seen them in action, and Nosferatu’s team too. I’d take Ric and Aiden any day. But still…

  Warm fingers nuzzling under my top’s hemline derailed my worrying. “What…?”

  “Shh.” Ric slid his hand onto the small of my back and rubbed in tiny circles.

  Tension released. I throttled a tiny moan of pleasure.

  Ric’s eyes crinkled, and he slipped his fingers lower to tickle the downy hairs at the base of my spine.

  I yipped. Ric’s smile grew.

  “What’s going on up there?” Aiden said.

  “Nothing,” we said together, then exchanged a warm, intimate smile. Ric’s fingers delved lower and began to pet my tailbone. Little shocks of delight wowed me.

  “Right,” Aiden said. “Well, while nothing’s going on, make sure one of you keeps her eyes on the road.”

  I did, though Ric’s caresses made my lids heavy with pleasure. As a distraction from worry, it was wonderful; as a reminder of what I had to live for it was awesome. My entire spine tingled and I’d developed a permanent grin when he removed his hand.

  And drove it down the front of my pants, directly onto my clit.

  I shrieked, goosed the accelerator and nearly merged with the car in front.

  “Hey,” Aiden yowled. “Do I need to come up there and separate you kids?”

  With a smile, Ric removed his hand. But the aftershocks kept my mind off all things Nosy until we hit the Illinois border.

  We made one stop for gas. Camille got unruly, but Aiden made good on his promise to zap her. He also had a few techniques for making vampires squeal. Not just Camille, either. Ric pulled me into the gas station bathroom for a quickie and…well, not going into details, but I’m sure as hell nailing tap cleats on Aiden’s shoes and buying Ric unwedgiable underwear.

  A little over seven hours later, we arrived at Nosferatu’s lakeside mansion.

  Lakeside mansion. Talk about conjuring images. I’d pictured a vast estate with green lawns, long curved driveway and huge wrought iron gates, the lake with pier and boat a picturesque backdrop.

  Actually it was a five-story brownstone a few blocks west of Lake Michigan dwarfed by surrounding high rises. On the plus side it had beautiful narrow windows, arched entrances, lots of carved detail and a wrought iron fence.

  But hemmed in by city streets, parking was a bitch.

  I finally found a space between an Audi and a Beemer and we walked through the quaint spindled gate, Aiden hustling Camille. A set of concrete steps led up to the front door. I’d put my foot on the first when Ric caught my elbow and guided me onto the set next to it leading down.

  “Is this like mansion flats in London?” I asked. “We’re the help so we enter below stairs?”

  Ric’s smile held equal parts tension and love. “No, we’re the vampires and there’s as much mansion underground as above. Are you sure about this?”

  I hadn’t explained my proposal for Nosy to Ric, wanting to strike hard and fast without Camille having time to cook up a counter. I’d have left her behind, but we needed her as a hostage to make it inside.

  Yet Ric was ready to back me up, only asking if I was sure. I glowed at his trust in me. “I’m sure. Mostly. You sure about going in through the front door?”

  “Vampires respect a show of strength.” Ric rapped sharply at the lower door. “Even when it’s suicidal.”

  “Especially then.” Aiden grinned, all fang.

  A woman in apron and cap answered. “Yes?”

  Wordlessly Ric brushed by her and hit the stairs going down. Ready or not, we were doing this. I trotted after him. Aiden followed with Camille.

  “Stop,” the woman called. “You can’t go in there. Guards!”

  The short entryway stairs gave onto a large, empty room with bare walls and smooth hardwood floor. “Booby trapped?” Ric asked.

  “No,” Aiden said from behind. “Those come later.”

  The thud of running feet shivered the floor and suddenly several rough-looking vampires filled the opposite doorway. The biggest of them muscled through. His jaw jutted as he glared, red-eyed, at Ric. “Who are you?”

  “Listen to me.” Ric’s voice rang with vampire compulsion. “Let us pass.”

  “We…” The leader’s eyes cooled to a dull blue. “We’re letting them pass.”

  The vampires parted. The doorway was clear.

  “Wow.” I stared at blank-eyed vampires as Ric pulled me past them. “I didn’t know you could do that to other vampires.”

  “They’re n…newbs.” Camille stuttered a bit as Aiden stumbled her along. “I keep telling Nosferatu to use seasoned warriors, but does he listen? No-ooo.”

  “Watch it,” Aiden said. “We’re coming to the tunnels. The traps are there.”

  The rich scent of damp earth underscored his words. It reminded me uncomfortably of a freshly dug grave, all too possible with vampires. Were we headed into a cemetery?

  Ahead, flooring gave way to an unlit tunnel of packed dirt. A second wave of guards confronted us at the mouth, five big vampires with bladed faces, long fangs and eyes that glittered ruby in the dim light. The pair in front were a tank with fangs and a male so muscular he looked like a golem made of car tires. They were so big I could barely see the three behind.

  Tire Guy held up his hand. “I don’t know how you got this far, but this is the end of the line. The tunnel’s electrified.”

  Aiden shoved Camille forward and held up his stunner. “So’s this.” He slapped the business end to her temple. He’d run out of cartridges long ago.

  Tire Guy gaped. “Hey. Those are illegal in Chicago.”

  “You think I care?”

  The tank said, “It’s Camille. We gotta stand down.” The three in back exchanged confused glances.

  “No.” Tire Guy gathered himself. “She doesn’t change things.”

  Aiden smiled, with a menace that made all the hair on my body stand straight up. He purred, “I was so hoping you’d say that.”

  “Caligula, you shit,” Camille said. “I’m not going to forget thi—”

  Aiden pulled the trigger. Camille convulsed and fell to the floor, twitching.

  Ric leaped past Aiden, swinging open a bone-handled folding knife with a hard flick. The slim blade glinted wickedly in the low light. A muscular stroke cut tire-thick throat. A second and third slice decapitated the vampire.

  Aiden reached into his bulky jacket and pulled out a long, curved butcher’s knife. He sprang into the gap next to Ric and hacked at the tank.

  I turned away, not because there was blood, although there was, but because I was watching our backs. Really. I only heaved a little.

  The shouts died. I chanced a peek back. Ric was wiping his blade on one of the bodies. Its head lay a few inches away, staring at me.

  I swallowed hard. “Is he…?”

  “No.” Ric straightened, folding away his knife. He nudged the head with his toe. “It’ll rejoin his body, but not before we reach Nosferatu. Did you get the juice turned off?” The last was to Aiden.

  “Of course.” His knife disappeared into his jacket.

  “Then grab her and let’s go.” Ric nodded toward the vampire woman.

  Camille was already rousing. Aiden jerked her to her feet and we entered a warren of tunnels. I would have gotten lost, but Ric and Aiden led as if they could see a dashed trail pointing directly to Nosferatu. And maybe they could; I remembered Nosferatu had trained them both as trackers.

  I was counting on Nosferatu remembering that too.

  The deeper we penetrated into Nosferatu’s lair, the more stagnant the air became. The less light. My breath came shallower, faster. My heart started to hammer. Aiden’s and Camille’s eyes glowed red, bumping the creepy factor into ha
rd swallows and shaky legs.

  Then Ric took my hand. His eyes were red too, but they crinkled in one of his many variations on a warm smile. My tension eased and my heart slowed.

  The last light disappeared. Ric guided my steps. I clasped his forearm, briefly closing my useless eyes.

  We stopped. My eyes flew open. I blinked into the pit of black.

  Darkness resolved into a fourth set of red eyes.

  Chapter Twenty-four

  I jumped. Hot adrenaline spurted into my veins, turbo-boosting my heart.

  “Well, well.” The voice was a dry rasp in the dark, as if dead moths were coming out of the mouth with the words. “The prodigal sons.”

  “Nosferatu.” Ric’s red eyes dipped in a nod.

  I couldn’t see a thing besides bloody eyes and the only air that moved was my panted little breaths; I was muffled in stifling darkness. My heart thudded and my ears began to ring. Or maybe that was the sound of my own nerves shrieking.

  A rasping chuckle. “At last, you’ve realized the enormity of your sins and turned yourselves in. How nice. I’ll make your deaths quick.”

  Ric’s hand dropped from my arm. To have two hands to defend us, but now I felt even more alone, more isolated and helpless. My heart hammered in my chest, as if trying to escape. My feet turned with the same idea.

  “And a sacrificial human for me to sup on.” He made a slurping sound, like Anthony Hopkins’s Hannibal. I nearly cried out, I’m not an entrée to be served with fava beans. I did whimper. Nosferatu cackled. “You’ve earned a boon for bringing her. I’ll kill you a little less painfully.”

  “We’re not here to turn ourselves in,” Ric said.

  “I’ll have to capture you? How tedious.”

  “You try,” Aiden said, “and Camille dies.” The dangerous click of his blade underscored the last word.

  A rustle of rich cloth, as if Nosferatu was shrugging. “Then she dies.”

  “Hey,” Camille said. “I’m your lieutenant. You need me.”

  “Second lieutenant, my dear.” He laughed in a way that left no doubt—he didn’t need any of them. “Plenty more where you come from.”

  “Giuseppe won’t like that.” Her eyes were frightened stoplights.