Rekindled Hearts

by Brenda Minton

  “The thought crossed my mind.”

  “Yeah, it crossed mine, too. But that wouldn’t make me move back.”

  “What would?”

  Lexi glanced in the direction of the church and the blue Jeep. “Nothing would make me move. But I have considered it, just because I know that eventually I have to let go, and I don’t know if I can let go while I’m living here.”

  “Did Glenn call and ask you out?”

  Lexi looked up. Now this was a conversation she didn’t want to have, not now, when she was thinking so seriously about moving on and not letting Colt continue his happy dance in and out of her life.

  “I think he left a message. Do you think he’s the answer for my letting go?”

  “He’s a nice guy.”

  “Yes, he is. Maybe you should go out with him.”

  Jill laughed—really laughed. A few people turned to look at them. “I don’t think so, honey. Blake asked me out last night. I’m pretty happy with that change of events.”

  The cowboy that Jill had loved forever. That sounded like a perfect happy ending.

  “I’m happy for you.”

  A car started. Lexi glanced in the direction of the church. Colt was in the Jeep. Michael was standing next to it, talking through the open window.

  “Please don’t let him stop,” she whispered for only God to hear.

  Colt glanced in the direction of the town green and saw Lexi. Michael followed his gaze and chuckled a little.

  “This is the time to start putting what we’ve talked about into practice, Colt.”

  Colt nodded, but he didn’t want to go there. He had spent an hour talking. Talking about talking. And talking about listening. They also talked about him not being responsible for what happened to Gavin. It hadn’t been easy, to call Michael Garrison and admit that maybe he needed to talk to someone. Counseling. He didn’t really want to say the word. He could handle things. He could work through his own problems.

  But then again, maybe he couldn’t.

  He obviously hadn’t handled his marriage.

  He shifted into Reverse, but Michael hadn’t moved away from the side of the Jeep. Colt looked up, waiting.

  “Colt, don’t be so hard on yourself. We all make mistakes. We all look back and think we could have done something differently. You have a chance to maybe work things out, if that’s what you want. So move forward and stop looking back—at things in the past that you can’t change.”

  “I’m not sure what my next step should be. I think that moving too fast is a mistake.”

  “Fine, but whatever move you make, make a move toward having faith. Talk to your parents about the farm, and about their faith. See it from their perspective and maybe that’ll help yours.”

  “Yeah, I’ll talk to them. Gotta run.”

  “Okay.” Michael stepped back and motioned for him to back out.

  Colt planned to drive on past Lexi, but he didn’t. She was shoveling dirt out of a hole, pretending she didn’t see him. He smiled a little, because he knew that she had seen him at the church. He had watched her watching him.

  She loved hard work. The first time he’d taken her home to meet his family, she had acted as if farming was the greatest treasure in the world. He knew that his family was the treasure she was seeking. She loved feeding cattle. She loved cooking big meals and sitting at the table together, not alone.

  What had that been like as a kid, fixing her own meals, doing homework by herself at night? He pulled into the parking space next to her truck and killed the engine on the Jeep. She stopped shoveling and Jill said something to her, something that made them both laugh.

  This was like being sixteen again. Or even twenty, in college and seeing her across campus, walking to her dorm. She wasn’t that young woman anymore. She had proven in the last two years that she didn’t need him. She could take care of herself.

  He got out of the Jeep and walked to where the two of them stood—Jill and Lexi—swigging water from bottles and waiting. Jill put the cap back on her water bottle. He’d known her all his life and she’d never cut him any slack.

  Today she did. “See you all later. I have a tree to plant by the creek.” And she was gone.

  “She didn’t have to leave.” He watched Jill go.

  Lexi laughed. “You really didn’t want her to stay. You know she’d give you a hard time. What are you up to?”

  He didn’t want to tell her that he had asked Michael to talk to him, to show him how to fix his life. Michael had told him the fixing part was between Colt and God. And Lexi, if he meant to fix his broken marriage. How did you fix something that was over? How did you dump a pie out of the pie pan and then stick it back in, whole?

  He didn’t think it worked that way.

  “Have you discovered who the ring belongs to?” Lexi was asking. She had the tree and was trying to position it in the hole. He picked up the shovel.

  “Hold the tree, and I’ll shovel the dirt in around it,” he offered, and she nodded. “No, I don’t have a clue. Literally.”

  She smiled a little. “Maybe you should ask women who were recently engaged. I’ve sort of been thinking about this. Do you think someone might have taken the real ring because they found it somewhere after the storm, and then they realized whose it was, and they didn’t want to give it back? Maybe they wanted to keep it because of its history. A ring like that has been on a lot of fingers and witnessed a lot of happy marriages.”

  She was still a romantic.

  “You’ve sort of been thinking about this, huh?” He looked up and she was watching him. He couldn’t look away, not from those dark blue eyes and that serious frown. She was beautiful when she was serious like that.

  “I might have given it some consideration.” She stepped down on the soil he had shoveled around the base of the tree. “It’ll be beautiful when these bloom next spring. It’s been sad, seeing so many trees without leaves, or the tops gone. I miss green.”

  “Next spring will be better.” But he couldn’t take his eyes off her, because her beauty distracted him, and he couldn’t really think about trees. “So, how do I decide what woman—or man—would want a ring with history?”

  “Talk to newly engaged women. Look at the past issues of the paper and see who announced an engagement.”

  She was beautiful and smart. Probably miles from the real truth about the ring, and this felt like a wild-goose chase, but he could check it out. It was better than anything he’d come up with.

  “Colt, about the other night…”

  He put a hand on hers and shook his head. “Lexi, I messed up. You’ve tried to take some of the blame, but this marriage ended because I wasn’t there for you.”

  “You could try having faith. And maybe trusting that I’m stronger than you think. I know I wasn’t strong at the time. But I am now.” She didn’t smile. She didn’t turn away. She only stared, waiting for him to say the right thing.

  And his phone buzzed as a call came in. He grimaced because he knew this wasn’t the right way to start this conversation—the right track to take. “I have to get this.”

  “I know.” She picked up her shovel. He thought she might walk away. She didn’t.

  He answered the call and when he dropped the phone into the pocket of his shirt, he felt a little hopeful. “Someone saw a guy walking down one of the farm roads and he had a dog with him. The dog looked like Charlie. I’m going to go check it out. The caller said he would meet me out there.”

  She nodded, because he should go. “Call and let me know what you find out. If it’s Charlie, he might be injured or sick. Eight weeks is a long time.”

  The look in her eyes told him more. Eight weeks was enough to cause them to give up hope. But she had been praying. She was always praying. And he had seen her make it through so much and still smile, still have faith.

  “What’s Tommy going to do if we can’t find that dog?” Colt knew the answer. The kid would be devastated.

  “He�
�ll survive, Colt. I know that you think this has been a tragedy, something completely unfair, but you have to look at the big picture.”

  “The big picture?” The kid had lost his dog. His best friend.

  She gave him a sympathetic look, as if she knew what he was thinking. Of course she knew. She knew him. “Colt, he has a family now. If the tornado hadn’t happened, if Greg Garrison hadn’t hauled him inside that day, if Charlie hadn’t disappeared…”

  He raised his hand to stop her, because he got it.

  “Tommy would have been in a new foster home by now. Uprooted once again.”

  His answer brought a smile, and she nodded.

  “That’s what I think. He’d still have his dog, but he wouldn’t have Greg and Maya.” Tears flooded her eyes. “And I still have hope that we’ll find Charlie.”

  She was beautiful. And for that moment, the faith of a little boy danced inside his heart, and he wanted to believe, too. She did that for him. She created moments inside him that felt like Christmas morning.

  Man, he really wanted to kiss her. He even took a step forward. And then he couldn’t. She cleared her throat and gave him a look that asked what he thought he was doing. And he didn’t have a clue.

  But he did know that kissing her right now would be a mistake. He couldn’t confuse everything with a connection like that. He didn’t want to give people in town more reasons to talk about them.

  He didn’t want more to think about, to try and figure out. Not yet.

  “I’ve got to go.” He saluted and backed up a step before he turned and hurried to the Jeep.

  “Call me later,” she said, nodding. Her tone was still hesitant. He glanced back and waved. “Let me know about the dog. If it’s Charlie.”

  “I’ll call.”

  Chapter Seven

  Even though she’d worn gloves, Lexi’s hands were blistered from digging holes to plant trees. She looked down at the raw spots and winced as the cold water from the sink hit them. Glancing out the window she could see the frame going up on what would be her new home.

  She had the next couple of hours free. For now her plan was to go through what she had salvaged from the debris that had been her home two months earlier. She had a few boxes. The rest had been scattered around the countryside, or ruined by rain.

  A cat inside one of the cages mewed. Lexi opened the latch and the calico walked out, a little timid, but sweet. Lexi picked her up and walked to the corner of the shop building, now designated as a bedroom. The cat curled up on the rug next to Lexi.

  “Kitty, this isn’t much to have left after thirty-one years.” There were people with less. She closed her eyes and fought the wave of pain that sometimes swept over her. Michael had assured them all that it was normal to feel this loss, and to wonder if life would ever be normal again.

  The people of High Plains were shell-shocked. They laughed, they smiled and they went on with life. But sometimes it hit them—the loss, and the weariness of rebuilding.

  Lexi picked up a framed picture of herself and Colt a year after their wedding. It was the one picture she had left. Lexi had been twenty-three and she had believed this man would change her life. He was going to give her happy moments, and a family. They were going to build a life together.

  And for six of the seven years, it had been a wonderful dream. They had finished college. Lexi had finished veterinary school. They had bought a home together and talked about having babies.

  Lexi pulled the cat into her lap, but she couldn’t stop looking at the picture. A young couple, smiling, ready to face the world and make their dreams come true.

  Shortly before Gavin’s death, they had decided it was time to start a family. They had jobs, a home and a future. After Gavin got shot, everything changed. Colt pulled away. Searching for the man who’d shot his fellow officer had consumed his every waking moment.

  And he made a decision then to put off having children.

  That had been the beginning of the end.

  Lexi brushed at her eyes and put the picture away, wrapped in a pillowcase to protect the glass, but out of sight because she couldn’t handle the reminder of what she’d lost. She couldn’t go back, remembering the night he’d lain next to her, telling her that he couldn’t think about having children when every day he went to work not knowing if he would come home.

  He loved her too much to do that to her.

  And he hadn’t been willing to seek help, to talk to someone. She closed her eyes, remembering how she’d pleaded, telling him it was normal to feel as if a person’s life was out of control after a tragedy happened. Stages of grief.

  Instead he had retreated into a shell that closed her out.

  And she had gone to church, finding real faith for the first time in her life. That faith had sustained her.

  A car stopped out front. She didn’t get up. The cat was on her lap and Lexi had pulled her jewelry box out of the pile of leftovers. She had jewelry that her parents had given her and jewelry from grandmothers. But her wedding ring was gone. It had been in a box in the closet, out of sight. It had bothered her to see it each time she reached in for jewelry to wear to special dinners or church.

  A loud knock on her door jerked her from the memories. She blinked away tears, put the jewelry box down and stood. The pounding continued.

  “Coming. I’m coming.” She hurried to the front door, peeking out the window before unlocking it to let Colt inside.

  “It isn’t Charlie.” He held a small tricolored sheltie in his arms. “But she might be about to have puppies. I mean, really ready.”

  “Let’s have a look at her.” Lexi lifted the sweet, pointy nose of the sheltie, and the dog whimpered. “You’re a sweet girl.”

  “No collar.”

  “I hope she wasn’t dumped.” Lexi pointed to the examining table, and Colt lowered the dog. “She’s thin. Maybe a tornado victim, but I haven’t heard of anyone looking for a sheltie.”

  “I haven’t, either.” His words were clipped, terse.

  “What’s wrong?” She glanced up, still stroking the sable, collie-marked dog.

  “I’m just tired. I’ve been getting a lot of middle-of-the-night calls. And then we have situations like this, with some guy trying to pawn a dog off as Charlie. For the reward.”

  “Do you think this dog is actually his?”

  Colt shrugged. “Could be. She seemed to know him. But he asked me to find her a home.”

  “That really breaks my heart.” Lexi stroked the long fur of the dog that looked like a miniature collie. “But we’ll take good care of you, sweetheart. Maybe we’ll even find her real owners. And she is going to have puppies. Soon.”

  “Wonderful.” Colt shook his head. “What do I do with her?”

  “What a silly question. You leave her here, of course. I don’t have another kennel, but I’ll fix her a place.”

  “Just what you need, another dog.”

  Lexi lifted the dog and carried her to a corner of the office. She glanced over her shoulder at Colt. “Get towels out of the cabinet. And don’t be so mean. She deserves a home. Besides, I plan on adopting out most of these animals on Saturday.”

  “And keeping this one?”

  “Of course.” She sat on the floor next to the sheltie and smiled up at Colt. “I’m going to name her Lassie.”

  “Very original.” He handed her the towels. “Now what?”

  “We give her space and wait to see if she has her puppies. I don’t think it’ll be long.” She stroked soft fur. “I’m going to get her some food and water.”

  “Can I help?”

  “No, I’m fine.” She rummaged through the cabinet and found a set of food bowls. “Do you want coffee?”

  He didn’t answer. She turned and saw that he was sifting through the boxes. “Is this all you have left?”

  She nodded and filled the bowl with water. “That’s it.”

  “I’m really sorry, Lex.”

  “You don’t need to be.” But h
er heart ached because she had lost her wedding pictures, and the photographs that chronicled the seven years they’d had together.

  People had lost more. She realized that some of her neighbors had lost so much more.

  She gave the dog food and water. Colt was looking at their anniversary picture. He glanced up when she walked toward him, holding it for her to see.

  “They were a happy couple, weren’t they?”

  “They were.” She took the picture away from him and stuck it back in the box. “But then, they weren’t.”

  “Because he wasn’t there for her.” He met her gaze before looking away. “And when I was there, I didn’t listen.”

  “We weren’t very good at communicating.” She could smile now. “You should have been better. Your parents talked. Mine didn’t. They left messages.”

  “I think you left me a few of those, too.” Colt exhaled and shook his head. He looked out the window, at the skeleton frame that would be her home. “How’s your house coming along?”

  “Good, and you’re changing the subject. You start to get close to talking to me, and then you go off in another direction, a direction that doesn’t matter.”

  He shrugged, his back still to her. “I’m going to work on that.”

  “I’m glad.” She moved next to him, and he turned—just a breath away—close enough to touch. “Two people who loved each other, who never stopped loving each other, shouldn’t have given up so easily.”

  “You’re right, they shouldn’t have.”

  He brushed a hand through his hair and glanced back out the window, away from her, at the house she would live in alone. The house she wouldn’t raise a family in. The house where she wouldn’t wait at the door for him to come home at the end of a long day.

  Because she didn’t want to be jealous of his job, of a dead man, of a wife whose husband had died too soon. She didn’t want to resent those people.

  Lexi was shaking and it wasn’t cold. Colt turned away from the window and he growled a little and pulled her close, wrapping her in arms so strong and safe that she felt as if nothing should hurt her ever again.