I nodded and said, “Something like that.”
She accepted my answer and didn’t pry any further. She was too interested in her son’s efforts to pursue any more questions about my career. She pointed toward the track and said, “That’s our son Ricky. He’s only sixteen, but he’s going to be on the Olympic team someday.”
I smiled and said, “I wish him all the best.”
Looking at Ricky, I mentally assessed his build until I saw Jordi appear out of the corner of my eye. James followed in his footsteps. It was the first time I saw James in a speed skating skin suit. It clung tight to his body showing off his sturdy legs. After a summer of training, his thighs were thicker and more muscular than I’d seen before. My heart pounded faster in my chest.
“Do you know anyone out there?” asked the woman.
I gestured in the direction of Jordi and James and said, “Those two are good friends of mine.”
She said, “The slightly shorter one looks like he’s ready to be on the Olympic team.”
I said, “His name is James, and he’s a hockey player who recently started speed skating. He’s still learning the sport.”
“One of Ricky’s coaches did the same thing. He would have had a longer competitive career if he didn’t get injured. Fortunately, he’s a fantastic coach for Ricky.”
All of the long track athletes skated in pairs. They raced against the clock instead of each other. Jordi skated first, and his technique was solid, but he didn’t have the strength to push up into the winning range of times. I was pleased to see him appear happy with his results anyway. After the last pair skated the 500 meters, he high-fived James and they both looked up in my direction and caught my eye.
I flashed a thumbs up, and James joined the other 1500 meter skaters to get ready for his start. His start was midway through the set of sixteen skaters. I leaned forward and watched him glide effortlessly across the ice. I saw minor technical flaws in the swing of his arms and the movement of his legs, but he overcame those issues to blow the other skater away and post the fastest time thus far in the competition.
James hugged Jordi when he saw his time, and he thrust both hands in the air while he looked up at me. James’ time held up until the final four skaters, and they all posted results that were better. Still, finishing fifth in his first race on an Olympic quality track was a significant accomplishment.
When James and Jordi joined me at the end of the morning’s long track races, James was bubbling over with excitement. I said, “We could go to the beach this afternoon since we missed our opportunity yesterday.”
James laughed and said, “We need to stick around here. I know it might sound like a crazy idea, but Jordi convinced me to try a short track race this afternoon. He said it’s a little more like hockey with the jostling for position, and he thought I might enjoy challenging five other racers at the same time.”
I shook my head. I understood the excitement, but the short track also carried risks. It was inherently more dangerous than long track. The jostling could result in injuries, and the proper technique was entirely different from long track racing. I said, “Why don’t you skip it for now. You’re great at the speed of the long track, James. You don’t need to wrestle with the animals on the short track.”
He smiled and said, “You just want me to be a Dutch man.”
It was true that the Dutch specialty was long track speed skating. The United States, Canada, and Korea were the short track powerhouses. James was lured by the rough and tumble nature of his countrymen. I said, “You know that’s not true, but I’ll watch you try out short track. Just be careful out there and steer clear if someone takes a tumble.”
James said, “Don’t worry. It happens all the time in hockey. I don’t think any skaters will throw me up against the boards on purpose. You can get away with that in hockey.”
After an uninspired lunch of hot dogs and greasy American french fries, Jordi joined me in the stands to watch James elbow his way into short track. I asked, “What distance is he planning for short track?”
Jordi said, “He’s doing the 1000 meters. I don’t know what his chances are, but James is one of the toughest guys I know. I wouldn’t want to feel him elbow me in a race.”
I said, “He doesn’t just need to be tough. He needs to watch and be smart. It doesn’t take a brute strength slam to make you lose your balance.”
James raced in the third of five heats for the 1000 meters. He lined up second from the outside, and something inside me turned my stomach into a knot when the race started.
James stayed with the pack. Jordi was on his feet shouting encouragement. He grabbed my arm and said, “He’s doing well. He’s right up there with them!”
On the second to last lap, James was skating with confidence, and he started the lap in second place. He had enough distance left to pull into the lead if he still had the energy left inside. I whispered to Jordi, “He might do it.”
Then disaster struck. It all happened so fast that I didn’t see at first what took place. James was down on the ice and sliding toward the outside of the rink. He took another skater down with him. The second skater got back up and completed the last lap. Officials began to rush the ice when it became obvious that James couldn’t stand under his own power. Then I saw the color red spread across the ice.
“Oh, no!” yelped Jordi. I leaped off the side of the bleachers. James needed our help.
23
James
I didn’t remember much about the rush to the hospital and the treatment in the emergency room. They ushered Lucas and Jordi out into the hall and knocked me out to stitch things back together. I woke up groggy in a recovery room. The nurse told me I wasn’t out long, and she thought the anesthetic would wear off quickly. By the time I was fully conscious, I was in a standard hospital room, and Lucas was standing over the bed holding my hand.
I glanced down and saw massive bandages on my thigh, and my entire leg placed in an immobilizing brace. It looked horrible. Lucas said, “He’s waking up.” He smiled at me and said, “Good morning, James.”
I asked, “Do you know what happened? The last thing I knew I was fighting for position in that race, and now I’m here.”
Jordi stood up and joined Lucas at my side. He said, “We think you clipped your own skate when you tried to go around another skater. In the crash, your left skate clipped your right thigh and tore a gash. It was deep enough that it sliced into the muscle.”
I growled, “Shit! And how long will that take to heal? Will I walk again?”
Lucas rubbed my hand, and Jordi shrugged. He said, “The doc told us you could be walking without crutches in a few weeks, but he said it would take a lot of rehab.”
I looked up into Lucas’ blue eyes. He was silent while Jordi was talking. I asked him directly, “How close was it to being something major?”
“I’m not sure what you’re asking, James.”
Jordi butted in and said, “Your skate barely missed a major artery. There was blood all over the ice as it was. You’re lucky, James.”
I looked up at Lucas for confirmation. He nodded and said, “Yes, that’s what we heard.”
I moaned, “Fuck,” and I closed my eyes. I opened them again and asked, “Did somebody contact my parents? They need to know.”
Lucas said, “They’ll be here tomorrow. I’m looking forward to meeting them.”
I reached up and gripped Jordi’s right hand. I asked, “I appreciate all the incredible things you’ve done for me, but is it okay if I ask you to step outside for just a couple of minutes? I have a few things I want to say to Lucas in private.”
Jordi blushed slightly and said, “Of course. He’s your boyfriend. I’ll just be right outside the door. Is there anything you want me to get for you, James?”
I said, “No, I’ll be okay. Just come back in a few minutes. I don’t want you to go anywhere. You’re a great friend, Jordi.”
Jordi left, and Lucas leaned forward to kis
s my forehead. He said, “The ice is a little unforgiving, but you’ll be back out there in a couple of months. You probably won’t even miss much of the hockey season. You were impressive skating long track…”
I interrupted and said, “I’m never getting on the ice again.”
Lucas looked confused. “What? Why would you give up hockey or long track? I understand avoiding the short track. There’s so much needless jostling in those races. It’s a little like boxing. You’re asking for something to happen.”
I set my jaw and said, “The ice took my sister, and it nearly took me. I’m done. I’m going to design buildings. No more ice for me. It was crazy to think I could take on something like that anyway. I was stupid.”
Lucas tilted his head to the right. He said, “I’m not going to argue with you, but do think about the fact you’re still likely a little woozy from the anesthetic, and you haven’t had a lot of time to think things through. It was an accident, James, and that’s all it was. It only has significant meaning if you attach that. Accidents occur at random. You’re a brilliant athlete…”
I interrupted him. “I was an athlete with promise. The ice could take my teeth in a hockey fight, or it could take my life on a speed skating track. No. I’m not taking that risk anymore.”
Lucas was silent. He pulled his hands back from me and stared down at my leg. He said, “It will heal quickly. Your body is in outstanding shape. The doctor said that. He was impressed by the tone of your muscle.”
I asked, “Lucas, can you do me a favor?”
“Of course.”
“Go find Jordi. Ask him to come back in here. We need to figure out something else to talk about. He’s good at that. He can talk about almost anything including the weather if it comes to that.”
24
Lucas
James was overreacting, and he was letting fear run his thoughts. It didn’t surprise me. The speed skating accident was traumatic, and it brought the tragedy of losing his sister back to the forefront. The flaw in James’ logic was using ice to link the two together.
I placed calls to both my college department head and Sophie to let them know I would be two days late in returning to Chicago. When I explained about the accident, my department head was warm and reassuring. He said, “Take the time that you need. Accidents don’t respect work schedules. Take care of your loved ones.”
Sophie was more agitated. She asked, “Are you sure he’s going to be okay? I always worried that you might get hurt somehow on the ice, but I got lucky, and you never did. Will it heal in time for hockey? What will he do if it doesn’t?”
I said, “James is stubborn at the moment. I don’t think we’ll know for sure what he’s going to do until at least a couple of weeks from now. He’ll have some reports from the doctor on how the healing is starting. That’s when planning can start.”
“Send him my love,” said Sophie. “When you meet his parents, hug them for me, and make sure you let me know when you’re coming home.” She giggled softly. “See, I’ve already decided that Chicago is home for you. Let me know when you’re back in town, and you can come over and have dinner with Jerry and me.”
I was happy to meet James’ parents the day after the accident. His mother and father were both gracious and friendly. They brought his brother Michael along, too. He was like a younger version of James amped up to a higher level of snark and wit.
Michael shook my hand and said, “So you’re the Flying Dutchman!”
I laughed and answered, “Since that was technically a ship, I don’t think so, but we’ll keep it to ourselves.”
Michael joined me in the laughter and said, “I think I like you already.”
I kissed James and then encouraged Jordi to leave the room with me while the family members filed in. I said, “We’re going downstairs to get a cup of hot cocoa, and we’ll be back in about thirty minutes.”
Jordi sat across a table from me in the hospital’s cafeteria while we sipped at our cups of cocoa. He sighed heavily and said, “James is still planning to quit hockey. He said that to me again while you were talking to your sister. What’s that all about, Lucas? We can’t afford to lose him on the team. Coach Collins was in my ear on the phone this morning before we even left the hotel. He wants to know what’s going on. Somehow, news of the speed skating accident made it back to Minnesota already.”
I tried to speak in a calming tone. I said, “James is scared, and that’s the source of all of his stubbornness right now. I don’t think he’s made a final decision, but he’s going to hang on to the extreme position for now. Jordi, give me some time to work on it. I’ve got some ideas that might help out.”
“That’s good because there’s no way we’re making it back to the national championships without James. It’s not only that he’s an outstanding player. He’s a big cheerleader for the whole team. Everybody loves him. He never gives up, and we won a couple of games that I thought were over because James kept us all focused on the current moment.
I smiled at Jordi. “You know, he’s a good example to follow. Pay attention to James, and someday you might be as valuable to the team.”
When we returned to James’ room, his parents were stepping out into the hall. His father gestured toward the room and said, “Michael is still in there. He’s got James watching some movie they both like. Feel free to join them. We’re going to grab a bite to eat.”
As we stepped toward the doorway, James’ mother grabbed my arm. I glanced at her and saw the tears glistening in the corners of her eyes. I waved Jordi on and said, “I’ll be there in a few minutes.”
He shuffled his way into the room, and I turned to James’ parents asking, “Can we go sit in the waiting room?”
They both cheered up by the time we reached the waiting room, and the first fifteen minutes of our conversation were animated and filled with brief bursts of laughter. Finally, I heard from James’ father, “He thinks the world of you. I’m pleased that we finally get to meet even if it’s under these circumstances.”
James’ mother’s countenance suddenly turned dark. She asked, “Did he tell you about Meredith?”
“His sister?”
They nodded simultaneously in confirmation.
I said, “Yes, he did, and somehow he is connecting that tragedy with this accident. Deep down inside I’m sure he knows there is no logical connection, but fear doesn’t work that way. I know from personal experience. If you’re not careful, it rewires your brain.”
James’ mother lowered her head into her hands. She whispered, “I don’t know what I would do if we lost James. The doctor told us how close it was. That blade could have hit a major artery.”
His father said, “But we know that it’s nothing like what happened before, and James will be back on his feet soon. That’s what you’re trying to say. This is an injury, and James will heal. They happen in sports. It’s par for the course.” He looked up at me. “Right?”
I said, “Yes, I had my fair share of minor injuries.”
“I think James told us you were a skater, too,” said James’ father.
I nodded. “I was.”
“Not any longer?” asked his mother.
I shook my head. “At least not right now.” Something was shifting down inside, and it was related to James’ accident. I had a plan to speak to him, and the comment to his mother was my first verbal acknowledgment of the movement of tectonic plates in the back corners of my mind.”
Her brow furrowed. “Not right now?”
I rubbed my hands on my jeans and said, “I’ll explain more later, but I think I need to get back to James. He’ll probably wonder what I’m up to.”
James’ father said, “If he asks about us, we’re going to take a quick walk outside. Then we’ll be back.” He held out his hand to shake again. “It is great to meet you, Lucas.”
25
James
Michael found a stupid old movie on the TV in my hospital room. I scoffed at watching it, but
it was just what I needed. I was too wrapped up inside my head thinking about how I was going to explain to the coaches and my teammates that I couldn’t play hockey anymore. I knew that I couldn’t get into the real reasons with them, and I hoped they would merely respect me. The thoughts were running in circles inside my head, and the movie broke the cycle.
I was laughing my head off with Michael and Jordi when Lucas came back from introducing himself to my parents. He said, “It sounds like I missed something good.”
I said, “Stupid is more like it, but it is funny.”
Michael scrunched his face up into a pout and said, “I think it’s art.”
Jordi rolled his eyes at Michael. “I can even see that’s not true. It feels good to laugh, though. I haven’t done much of that the last few days.”
Lucas joined in. “Yes, it was a fun conversation with your parents, James. They told me a few funny stories about you as a little kid. I wish I’d been there.”
Michael said, “That’s why I’m never having a serious girlfriend. At least, I’m not telling Mom and Dad about it. They share too much. They need better filters.”
I heard Michael’s comment about no serious relationships. I asked, “You broke up with Sarah? I thought Mom and Dad already know her.”
Michael glanced at me with a sheepish grin on his face. He said, “Well, yeah, okay, that’s true. Sheesh, guys. I was just trying to make a point. You don’t need to pull out the fact-checking police.”
My parents returned after about an hour, and we all sat around for the next hour sharing funny stories and laughing about lighthearted movies and TV. Everyone carefully avoided any mention of sports. I decided I wouldn’t bring it up either. I’d already made my decision about my future, and I didn’t need a discussion about it.
As the conversation began to wind down, Lucas spoke up and said, “I think Jordi and I are going to try to find some dinner. James, could I talk to you in private for just a couple of minutes?”
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