Give Me Strength

by Kate McCarthy

  “Pause the movie, I need the loo,” I heard her say again.

  “You’ve seen this movie,” came Henry’s voice.

  “What’s your point?”

  Travis groaned as I bit down on his bottom lip. The sound was loud as the silence registered.

  Cooper’s voice from the living room cut through it swiftly. “Apparently that’s how you teach self-defence these days. Think I’m gonna quit Jamieson and start working for those guys.”

  “Huh,” said Henry.

  The talk faded as I was carried outside, and that only registered because I felt Rufus press his wet nose against my thigh.

  Travis smiled. “Hey.”

  “Hi.” I breathed, reeling from the intensity of the kiss.

  “Trust your gut, sweetheart.”

  “Sorry?”

  He set me down, his expression hardening into one of authority. “Self-defence, Quinn.” He frowned and I felt like the naughty kid up the back of class, caught for not paying attention. “First rule of thumb. If something doesn’t feel right, it’s usually not.”

  “Oh,” I murmured, remembering the prickly feeling of someone watching me. That had definitely not felt right.

  Mac came out carrying notebooks and pens. “Have I missed anything?”

  “We’re at the trust your gut part,” I replied, watching as she set the stationery on the table and motioned for me to take a seat. Travis was standing, hands on his hips, waiting for Mac to settle. When she began to tap impatiently with her pen, I looked to him with confusion. “I don’t get to throw you around?”

  Mac snorted. “Not even Mitch or Jared can throw Travis around. I’ve only ever seen him felled once before.”

  My eyes gave his muscular physique a ruthless once over and remembered the scar on his hip from being shot. I turned to Mac with a frown. “So you’re saying self-defence begins with arming yourself?”

  “Mac,” Travis snapped. “Do you need to be here?”

  Her pen carefully scratched out Self-Defence and followed underneath with #1 – trust your gut before looking at Travis with an expectant, wide-eyed expression. “You’d prefer me to shoot first?”

  I picked up my pen and quickly copied Mac’s neat, handwritten notes.

  “Be aware of your surroundings,” Travis began again, and we dutifully copied it down. “Don’t walk alone late at night. If you find yourself in that situation, walk fast, don’t dawdle or focus on your phone. If you’re nervous, or someone is making you feel that way, head for a busy street.” Travis began pacing as he spoke, pausing now and then to wait as we copied it all down. “Weapons.”

  Mac grinned with a nod of her head. “Uh huh.”

  “Keys are a weapon.” He pulled his keys out of his pocket and showed us how to hold them in a fist. Then he made me do it, and when Mac giggled at my efforts, I aimed a mock punch at her and she flinched away from the table.

  “My turn,” she said.

  “Mac. You already know all this.”

  She waved her hand. “Consider it a refresher.”

  He sighed and we both waited patiently while Mac did the “keys in the fist” drill. She aimed a mock slash at me in retaliation, and I chuckled as my torso twisted sideways.

  “Enough!” Travis growled. Mac sat back down with a brief smooth of her hair and picked up her pen. “Anything else you might have on you. Heels, deodorant to spray in their eyes, be resourceful.”

  I saw Mac write #4 – Resourceful and underline it three times before turning back to Travis. “What about pepper spray?”

  “Illegal.”

  “Well how come Evie gets a can and we don’t?”

  Travis narrowed his eyes. “Evie has pepper spray?”

  Mac folded her arms and arched a brow in reply.

  He sighed and scratched at the golden stubble on his jaw. “You get caught with that, or using it, you could end up in a world of trouble.”

  “More than the world of trouble you could end up in getting caught without it?” I said.

  “I’ll think about it,” he conceded.

  “Like Jared thought about it?” I heard Mac mutter under her breath.

  “Don’t yell for help,” Travis continued.

  I wrote it down then read it back to myself. “What?”

  “Yell ‘fire’ instead. You’ll get a better response.”

  I nodded as Travis continued talking, soaking it up like a dried out sponge. What he was telling me today was going to come in handy soon going by what bad guy number one and Beth had so helpfully informed me. If I couldn’t somehow get away before that deadline was up, a world of pain wasn’t just coming for me, it was coming for all of us.

  Jared appeared on the back deck just as it appeared Travis was winding up the practical proceedings of self-defence.

  I waved briefly in greeting, but Mac ignored him, asking Travis, “When do we get to the physical stuff?”

  The words tuned out as Travis spoke, saying something that had Mac rolling her eyes and him chuckling. The sun was setting behind him, making his hair lighter, his skin darker, and I realised that he knew everything there was to know about me and he was still here. My chest constricted. How was I supposed to leave him?

  “Quinn?”

  “Huh?” I looked at Jared.

  He looked nervous, cracking his knuckles. “Can I speak to you for a minute?” He eyed Travis and Mac. “In private?”

  I stood, glancing at Travis briefly with a frown before I followed Jared inside and into the office. He shut the door behind the both of us and cleared his throat. “Quinn, I need your help.”

  My mouth fell open. “You do?”

  “Yeah I do.” He paused to gauge my reaction and softened. “Is that okay?”

  I nodded. “Sure.”

  Jared resumed pacing and ran fingers through his hair. It was getting long. Not quite as long as Travis kept his, but it suited him. Sighing softly, I waited, watching Jared gathering his thoughts together.

  “You might find it odd, me asking you this, but well, Mum can be very controlling, and Mac is…well, worse. Mitch and Travis I’m sure have less of an idea about this stuff than I do, but you…” he trailed off and stopped his pacing, his head cocked as he looked at me.

  “But me?”

  “Well, you’re just sweet, Quinn. I never hear you talk crap about anyone, and you don’t have a big mouth like everyone else I know.”

  My cheeks flushed with pleasure. I picked up the stapler off the desk, pretending to check if it needed a refill. “Well I’m all curious now.”

  His words came out in a rushed exhale. “IwannaaskEvietomarryme.”

  “Sorry, what?”

  Jared sat down and peered up at me from beneath his lashes. “I want to ask Evie to marry me.”

  “Oh!” I murmured. My hand reached out involuntarily and took hold of his. “I don’t know what to say.”

  “Don’t say anything,” he said with a grin. “You’re the only one that knows. I need help asking her.”

  I gave his hand a squeeze and let go. “Why on earth would you think I could help you with that?”

  “It’s her birthday in a month. I wanted to do it then. I was hoping you could help plan the party with me.”

  A month.

  My heart sank.

  Why was everyone making leaving so hard?

  I drew in a deep breath. Tonight. I had to leave tonight or I didn’t think I’d ever be able to.

  “Can I let you know tomorrow? I have a lot of work.” I waved my hand at the desk, but it looked rather neat and tidy—no evidence at all of someone in the throes of a work crisis.

  “Sure,” he replied, the brief smile not quick enough to cover his disappointment. “Give me a call.”

  Jared left and not sure I could go back outside, I climbed the stairs only to find Travis lying on my bed. His hands were behind his head, his eyes focused on the ceiling. Pink lace sheets surrounded him, only emphasising the hard masculinity of his body. Heat punched t
hrough me as I leaned up against the door jamb watching him.

  “I told Mac how I felt about you,” Travis said, his words startling me because I’d had no idea he knew I was in the room.

  Don’t ask! my inner voice screamed at me. Hearing it aloud would make what was between us that much more real.

  Travis tracked me carefully as I shut the door behind me and moved towards the bed. I climbed over his body until I straddled him.

  His eyes fluttered closed when I leaned down to kiss him. It was the first time I’d initiated contact with him, but if tonight was all I had, I wanted to kiss and taste every inch of him. His arms came around me, anchoring me, as he opened his mouth beneath the pressure, and I tasted him with my tongue.

  Breaking the kiss, I sat back to draw my shirt up and over my head, leaving Travis in no doubt of my intentions. His hands, hard and calloused, held on to my hips.

  “Don’t you want to know what I told her?”

  Yes.

  But I ignored his question. Instead, I cupped his cheeks. “I love when your eyes lose their hard edge. The green in them looks so clear and beautiful.”

  Travis pulled my hands from his face and grasped them tightly. “Between the two of us, you’re the one that holds the beauty. Quinn, baby…” His voice fractured and he looked away, his eyes finding the window. “I’m keeping you, you know that, right?” His eyes turned back to me, gleaming possessively.

  I smiled through tears.

  “Hey,” he murmured. “What’s this?”

  “Nothing,” I lied. “You don’t care about my…past?”

  His fingers tickled their way up my belly, and I giggled.

  “That’s better,” he murmured. “And no, Quinn, what you did, that was before. Me on the other hand…” his eyes fell to my mouth “… I was an innocent virgin until you corrupted me with those lips of yours.”

  Another laugh bubbled out of me, dying off quickly when Travis trailed his hands up my back and unclipped my bra. I sat up, sliding it down my arms, baring myself to his gaze.

  The teasing glint left his eyes, leaving heat in their wake. “Get up and take the rest off,” he demanded. “I want to see you.”

  Shivering at the way he took over, I stood and peeled off my bright yellow shorts. His eyes fell on the hot pink scrap of lace underneath, and my hands went to my hips, ready to slide those off too.

  “Wait,” he croaked. He sat up and shifted to the edge of the bed. “Come here.”

  I moved towards the bed, standing between his thighs.

  Travis pressed a kiss to my naked belly, swirling his tongue in my belly button, and I sighed softly. He looked up at me from beneath his lashes, and my breath caught at their heat.

  He slid a finger under the waistband of my panties and trailed his finger along my skin.

  “Turn around.”

  Travis ran his hands over my hips as I turned around, giving him my back. His hands slid down the bare, smooth skin until he reached the lacy pink edge of my panties.

  “Now take these off.”

  I baulked.

  “Off, Quinn,” he rasped. “Slowly.”

  With a flush heating my entire body, I stuck my thumbs in the waistband and bent over as I peeled them slowly down my legs.

  Travis caught his breath and the rough skin of his hands brushed over my bare skin. Then his mouth was between my thighs, his tongue thrusting inside my body. His hand splayed over my back, holding me down.

  “Spread your legs.”

  “Oh God,” I murmured, doing as he told, putting my hands on my knees before they gave out. “Travis,” I moaned.

  “So sweet,” he muttered.

  Only moments later, the unrelenting torture of his tongue had wild tingles of heat roaring through me. “Stop,” I gasped.

  “No,” he muttered against my skin. “Want to feel you come against my tongue.”

  He didn’t stop and I did just that. Shuddering, I cried out his name, his arms holding me up when my legs gave out. He pulled me back into his lap, his hard length digging into my spine. “Feel how much I need you?”

  “Travis,” I moaned.

  I heard his pants unzip and the rustle of a foil packet. “Mmm?”

  Grasping my hips, he lifted me up and when I sank back, it was with him inside me.

  “Quinn,” he groaned, sucking in a loud breath.

  My head tilted back into his shoulder, and his mouth fell on my neck, biting and sucking. My back bowed from the pleasure.

  “Move for me,” he muttered in my ear.

  Leaning forward, I did as he asked, slowly, until he eventually grabbed my hips and took over. He ground his hips into me and stilled, and when he moaned my name, I felt it deep in his chest, and I’d never heard anything more beautiful on his lips.

  Waking to darkness, a hand pressed into the small of my back, rubbing soothingly. My eyes opened to Travis sitting on the edge of the bed.

  “I’ve got called out to work,” he whispered. “I’ll be a few hours, but I’ll come back.”

  I nodded, leaning into the kiss he pressed on my lips, opening my mouth to the thrust of his tongue with a moan. He pulled back reluctantly.

  “Travis…”

  “Shh.” He tapped a finger to my nose gently and his lips curved up. “Don’t get dressed. I like the thought of you naked in bed.”

  The door clicked shut behind him, and I knew that if I didn’t leave now, right this very moment, I never would.

  I shifted reluctantly from the bed that was still warm from his body and covered with his scent. I picked up the pillow he’d briefly slept on and placed it at the end of the bed so I wouldn’t forget it.

  The duplex was silent as I slid on my underwear and walked inside my wardrobe. I yanked my suitcase from the top shelf. Forgetting I’d loaded it with text books from my uni days, it fell down on top of me, and I shrieked with pain. I grabbed at the hanging clothes, but they came off their hangers and landed with me on the floor. I pushed the suitcase off with a huff, and as a final insult, the wheel caught my toe. Hissing, I grabbed at the clothes strangling me and threw them towards the suitcase.

  The light switch came on inside my room and I froze. The wardrobe door flew open, and Mac’s eyes found me on the floor in my underwear, my suitcase and a pile of shirts at my feet and textbooks splattered open everywhere. Dressed in only a tiny satin slip herself, she took in the entire scene with pursed lips.

  I cleared my throat. “I was just uh…”

  “Save it,” she hissed and started pushing buttons on the phone in her hand. I heard someone answer the phone. “You were absolutely right. You better get your butt over here pronto... Uh huh... You better believe I’m gonna sit on her.”

  The call ended, Mac tossed the phone over her shoulder, and my eyes followed its descent onto the carefully placed pillow, watching it bounce off and fall to the floor. My eyes flew back to Mac. Her arms were folded, anger almost steaming from her skin. And then the yelling started.

  “What the fuck, Quinn? I mean, What. The. Fuck?”

  I stood up. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” I waved at the books. “I was just trying to tidy up.” I nodded at her phone on the floor. “So uh…who was on the phone?”

  She arched a brow, ignoring my question. “Tidying up? At three am?”

  I forced a chuckle. “Is that the time? It feels so early.”

  Henry appeared by Mac’s side, clad in only a pair of aqua blue boxer-briefs. My eyes went wide at how beautifully his underwear matched his eyes. Then I realised I was wearing hardly anything myself and his eyes were busy.

  “Well damn. This is what I’m talking about,” he joked with a grin.

  “Sister, asshead,” Mac snapped out.

  His eyes fell on my suitcase and the dregs of clothes hanging out the sides with a frown. Confused, his eyes returned to mine. “Quinn? What’s going on?”

  “Quinn’s doing a runner.”

  I glared. “I was cleaning.”
/>   Henry raised his brows, starting to look a little hurt. “In the middle of the night?”

  I scratched at the back of my head, wincing. His eyes fell on my chest, and I hastily folded my arms over my bra. “Yes. In the middle of the night. You should both go because I’m not dressed.”

  “I’ve seen it all before,” Mac said.

  “Well me too now,” Henry offered.

  “Sister!” Mac snapped at Henry.

  “Christ, Mac!” he yelled. “I may hold some kind of manwhore status in your eyes, but I’m not a goddamn letch.”

  I cleared my throat. “That wasn’t Travis on the phone, was it?”

  “No, it was Lucy.”

  My eyes shifted to her phone, and narrowing her gaze, she followed my line of sight. Pursing her lips, she lunged for the phone, and I found myself diving after her.

  “Ooomph.” Mac fell to the floor with a thud beneath me, and her arm stretched out for the phone.

  “No!” I yelled, clawing my way over her to reach for the phone.

  “Arrghhh,” she squealed when my elbow caught her in the eye.

  “Sorry,” I mumbled. My hand clutched around the phone, and my shout of relief was short-lived when I was rolled and Mac was breathing heavy in my face.

  “What the hell is going on here?” came Jake’s growl from the bedroom door.

  We both froze and turned. Jake was standing there, bare chest heaving as though he’d run a marathon. I was thinking that maybe our yelling might have woken up the entire duplex when I heard Cooper from beside him say, “Shut up, idiot. Naked chicks wrestling.”

  Ignoring all of them, Mac got in my face and growled, “Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t ring Travis right now.”

  Panting, my arm outstretched to hold the phone from Mac’s grasp, I closed my eyes against the tears, but I felt one roll out the side and down my cheek as I whispered softly so that only she could hear, “Because if he knows, they’ll shoot him.”

  The lovely golden shade of Mac’s face paled, and she scrabbled backwards off me in shock.

  “I’m sorry,” I choked out. My eyes blurred as they took in all of them standing there, feeling utterly horrified I’d brought this hell into their lives. “I’m so sorry.”