Cowboy Desires: The Complete Collection
Page 11
“What the fuck is wrong with him? How could anyone leave you like that? My opinion of him as a man has lessened to nothing. If he wasn’t already in a hospital bed, I’d have half a mind to put him there myself!”
I drew back a little bit when I saw the rage pouring off of him. He was a big man, and it scared me a little bit. Part of me felt like I needed to defend Mason. Did that mean I was forgiving him?
“He was broken, too, and he thought that I would be better off without him. He figured I would tell my sisters, and they would come and pick up the pieces that he couldn’t bear to see. But I didn’t want anyone but him. So I shut everyone else out and cried for him and our daughter every night. I figured I had done something wrong, and that’s why I had lost both of them. I just wanted my family back. That’s why you found me crying that day.”
The rage was still there, but it was slowly softening. Austin pulled me into his arms and held me close as the tears streamed down my face. I didn’t sob like all the times before. Maybe this meant I was starting to heal. It felt good to think about that and to be in Austin’s arms. Guilt crept into a little corner of my brain, but then I reminded myself that I wasn’t committed to anyone. I could do what I wanted.
I lifted my face to look up at his face, and he used his thumb to wipe away my tears. Then he leaned down and gave me the sweetest, most gentle kiss on my lips. It felt good to be cared for after telling my secret again. I felt accepted and wanted. Was Austin the man who would make me whole again? He was always so understanding, and he never failed to look out for my best interests.
He continued to kiss me, deepening it by pushing his tongue past my lips, asking for permission to take this further. I opened my mouth and welcomed him in, wanting to feel anything but pain and sorrow right then. He continued to kiss me while we moved toward the couch. He pulled me onto his lap, and I didn’t hesitate to join him.
It was as if this was his way of trying to show me that I was cherished and he would never leave me. He smoothed down my hair with one of his huge hands and rubbed my back with the other. I had my hands wrapped around the back of his neck. It felt amazing to be held like this. His kisses were passionate and I knew he meant them.
I shifted on his lap so that I was straddling him, pressing my breasts against his chest. I removed the cowboy hat from his head and threw it onto a nearby table. Then I rubbed the heat between my legs onto the most sensitive spot on his body, making him groan into my mouth. I lifted up and did it again, loving the way the friction made me feel. I was soaking wet and ready to have him.
“Woman, what are you trying to do to me? I can’t take much more of this without taking you.”
“Maybe that’s what I want you to do.”
I gave him a sly smile and broke our contact. Then I positioned myself on my knees between his legs on the floor. I grabbed his belt and slowly undid it while licking my lips. Once I got that undone, I unbuttoned his jeans and reached in to pull out his throbbing cock.
“Baby, you look so damn sexy looking at my cock like it’s the tastiest thing you’ve ever seen.”
I didn’t reply. I leaned over and spit on the head of his cock and then took the whole thing in my mouth in one movement. His hips immediately came up off the couch and he gripped the cushions.
I couldn’t get enough of him. I sucked him into the back of my throat over and over while I rubbed his balls. He was grunting and pushing himself into my mouth, clearly losing his control.
Suddenly, I was being pulled onto my feet in front of him. He undid my pants and pulled them off along with my boy shorts. Then my shirt and bra joined them on the floor. He took off his boots and the rest of his clothes quickly, and then he pulled me down on the couch on top of him.
He gripped his throbbing member in his hand and placed it at my opening; it was hot and soaking wet. I helped him out by lowering myself onto the tip, then taking him in inch-by-inch. He was so big, and it made me gasp with pleasure.
My breasts were right in his face, and he sucked and licked them while he guided my movements with his hands on my ass. Then he reached around and started to rub my clit with his thumb.
“Damn, Austin, you feel so good. I love having you inside of me. You know just how to touch me. Do you like it, baby?”
“I fucking love it, Jamie. You are so damn tight that it was all I could do not to come the first second I was in you. I want you to be mine!”
We started grinding into each other in a frenzy. I could feel myself starting to come undone, and I needed it more than anything. I kissed him, letting our tongues dance as I moved up and down fast and hard. I dug my nails into his shoulders as my orgasm started.
“Austin! Oh God! I’m coming. I’m fucking coming! Don’t stop!”
I was shaking wildly, and he kept a firm grip on my hips as I rode out my undoing on his rock hard cock. Before I was done, he pushed up into me hard one last time and shot his cum deep inside me.
He was mumbling words, and I was looking into his eyes as we shared this wildly intimate moment. When we were both done, I rested my head on his shoulder, not ready to get off of him yet. He wrapped his big, muscular arms around me and stroked my back with his calloused hands.
I had let out all of the tension I was feeling, and I had him to thank. How did he always manage to make me forget all of the problems in my life and just let go?
While we were snuggling, his phone rang loudly from his jeans pocket. He jumped when he heard it, and the spell was broken. He lifted me off his lap, scrambling for the phone. I was a little taken aback by the fact that something could be important enough for him to toss me aside after what we had just shared.
The phone stopped ringing by the time he finally held it in his hand. He was still naked, and his face had a look of serious concern on it.
“Listen, baby. I gotta run. I’m sorry to do this to you. I promise I will make it up to you soon. Okay? Just call or text if you need me.”
I was still in shock that he was leaving, so I didn’t speak. He got dressed quickly and gave me a quick kiss on the cheek before rushing out of my house. Was this how it was going to be? Get me all riled up and feeling crazy things for him then running out? I was kind of pissed, but maybe it was an emergency. We were not in a relationship, so I had no room to speak.
I gathered up my clothes off the floor and headed upstairs for a shower. I had planned on going back to see Mason that night, but I thought it was best to stay away and let him rest after what had happened that afternoon. I decided to read a book and have some popcorn. I went to bed early because I was still tired from the night before.
I woke up early feeling a little bit refreshed. The night before had brought me some much-needed relief, but I was still annoyed that Austin had left so abruptly. What could have been so important? Maybe it had something to do with Jackson. But if that was true, why didn’t he just say it?
I shook off the bad feeling while I took a shower and got dressed in shorts and a tank top. I headed straight for my laptop with a glass of lemonade. The day was already humid, so I was thinking about staying indoors. I started a new story that was loosely based on the events of the last couple of weeks. It flowed quickly from my brain straight to my fingers, and I was done within two hours.
I got a text from Mason at around 11:00 asking when I was coming back to see him. He said he was sorry for the day before, and he was feeling much more like himself. I told him it was okay, and I would be there later in the afternoon. I also told him that I loved him because I felt like I needed to say it to him as much as possible after the accident.
I worked through lunch because I couldn’t stop writing. I needed to get my story out. It was a way for me to heal and shut out reality for a while. I finally finished around 3:00. I headed into the kitchen for a snack when I heard my screen door opening.
“Jamie? Where are you?”
It was Erin, and she was running around my house, frantically searching for me.
“What’s wr
ong? I’m right here. Are you okay?”
She was a sweaty mess, and her hair was falling out of the ponytail on the back of her head. It was obvious that she had come straight from work and that something serious was on her mind.
“I have something to tell you. Something…bad. I saw something that might make your decision a lot easier. I’m still fucking shocked.”
What could she had possibly seen? I know a lot went on every day in that store, but what did it have to do with me?
“Well, tell me! You come in here all sweaty and out of breath. Don’t keep me waiting!”
“I was working in the store and Heather was on register when a pretty young woman came in to pay for gas. She said her fiancée was waiting outside with their son. I don’t know what made me look up, but I did. I peeked out the window and standing at the pump waiting for her was a very familiar face.”
“Who was it?”
“It was Austin. And she was wearing a huge diamond ring on her left hand. She paid for the gas, and I watched her go out. When she got back to the car, he grabbed her and kissed her hard, like he couldn’t get enough of her. They are obviously very much together, Jamie. He’s engaged. I’m so sorry.”
“What? Are you sure that was him? No…it couldn’t be…That asshole! I can’t fucking believe him. I had sex with him last night, and he rushed out of here like he was on fire! Now I know the fucking truth. He took me to the house he shares with her! Oh, God. I feel like such a whore. I really believed that they weren’t together anymore.”
“I’m so sorry I had to be the one to tell you this. But honestly I’m glad that you found out before you decided that he was it for you. You don’t need to have your heart broken again. And even though I’m really fucking pissed at Mason for leaving you, I also think he might actually be it for you. I’ve seen the way you two are together. I’ve seen the look in your eyes at the hospital. You care about him more than I ever knew, and maybe even more than you know.”
“I’m glad I found out now, too. What a scumbag! And what an awful example for that little boy of his. Andrea must have no clue that he’s a cheater. He did it right out in the open, though! I hate feeling played.”
“Well, I don’t know if you can forgive Mason, but at least now Austin won’t be around making it harder. Do you want me to take care of him?”
“No, I’ll take care of him myself. He needs to hear this from me.”
“Okay, I gotta run. I have a date with Dave tonight. Darts again! Yay me!”
I laughed at her sarcasm as she ran back out the door as fast as she came in. But I was still fuming from the revelations of the past few minutes. I somehow managed to get screwed again in more ways than one. How the hell had I not seen through his lies? I guess I was just looking for something to get me over my past, and he said all the right things. My broken heart had made me vulnerable and open to a predator like him. I should have known the cowboy hat and sweet talk was too good to be true.
It was about time for me to go see Mason, so I had to put my anger and embarrassment aside. I prettied myself up a bit and drove down around the corner to the hospital. I got on the elevator and headed for the third floor. When I stepped out, I heard alarms going off and saw people running into Mason’s room.
My heart stopped. I tried to cry out, but nothing happened. They were pushing a crash cart in and calling out medical terms I didn’t understand. I tried to get in, but one of the nurses gently pushed me back and told me to wait in the hall.
What the hell was going on? Was Mason in there dying? I would never get a chance to tell him again that I loved him more than anyone else. That he was the only man who would ever have my heart. I would never get to tell him that I finally forgave him. He was going to pass away without me ever getting to look into his blue eyes again.
I slumped into a chair and sobbed for everything I was losing in that moment. He was the father of my child. He was my first in so many ways. He was a man with faults, but his heart outshone them all. He walked away from me, but his heart wouldn’t let him stay gone. And I didn’t want him gone ever again.
I felt so helpless as I kept hearing them say, “Clear” over and over. Then I heard the all-telling beep of the end of someone’s life. I heard someone declare the time of death. I felt a part of me slip away with those words. I started to shake with an absolute sense of loss that only comes with the realization that your soul mate will never again be at your side.
That’s when I felt a hand on my shoulder.
“Are you okay?”
They were the words of an angel because they could have only been spoken by the love of my life. I looked up with tear-filled eyes to find Mason standing next to me dressed in a hospital gown and pulling an IV cart.
“M-Mason?! What’s going on? You were just in there! You’re gone!”
“What are you talking about? I’m just up for a walk. The doctor said I have to get my butt moving to help me heal.”
“But this was your room. They brought a crash cart in and someone is dead. I thought it was you! I thought you were gone!”
I slapped him hard on the arm and he winced.
“Hey, I was just in an accident! Try not to hurt me again, girl! They just moved me to a different room earlier today.”
He was laughing, and it made me laugh, too. I was crying and laughing, and then I was holding him in my arms. And I was squeezing him. And I was making sure he was really there. And he was. He was real. He was alive.
“I love you so much, Mason. I can’t imagine my life without you. It took me forever and a day to get here, but after thinking I lost you three times now, I’m not letting you go. I’m done living in the past and ready to take on the future. Please say you’ll still have me.”
Just then, our moment was broken by a body with a sheet over it being rolled out. I said a little prayer for whoever that poor soul was and thanked God again that it hadn’t been Mason. He explained that they had moved him to the less critical rooms at the end of the hall that were farther away from the nurses’ station. I took it as a sign from God. Maybe someone wanted me to see that I couldn’t live without him.
Mason took me by the hand and led me back down to his room. He was tired from all the commotion, so he got in bed, and I settled in next to him. He hadn’t said much since I told him I chose him.
“I want you too. You already know that. I screwed up. Probably worse than most other guys ever have. I love you more than anything in this whole world, and I want to spend every day loving you and making it up to you. But I have to ask you something. Did you know that you wanted me before you thought I was gone?”
I took a minute to collect myself as I thought about my overwhelming sense of loss in the hallway. I also thought about how violated I still felt by Austin. I knew I had to be completely honest with Mason if we were going to move forward with a clean slate.
“Today I found out that Austin has had a fiancée this whole time. He was taking advantage of my heartbreak and using me. He pretended to care, but all he wanted was a piece of ass. Jamie saw him with his other woman at the gas station today, and I saw him at the park a few days ago. I should have known. I’m so sorry I ever gave him the time of day. He would have never been you, Mason.”
“I knew he was a jerk. I could kill him for ever touching you. For ever knowing your body like I do and thinking he could love you half as much as me.”
“He never knew my body like you. I thought of you every time I was with him. I compared him to you at every step. I should have seen right through him, baby. I should have taken a step back and realized that I was using him, too. I needed someone to distract me and ease the pain. But now my heart is healed because I have you back.”
“Oh, Jamie. You didn’t know it, but you never lost me. I cried myself to sleep almost every night, both when I was gone and since I came back. I held onto your picture and begged and prayed to have one more chance. I knew I would never screw it up again. I love you so much. I want to be to
gether.”
Our hands were joined; our fingers laced together tightly. Our eyes were locked, and I could see the tears pooling amidst the deep blue. I moved toward him and kissed his mouth, trying to be gentle but wanting to make it last. He still gave me butterflies every time he was near me.
“That’s all I’ve ever wanted. You made me believe in second chances, Mason. All I want to do is help you get better so you can come home. With me. I want you to move in.”
“Absolutely, baby. I never want to sleep without you again.”
I spent the next few hours in his hospital bed until the nurses gave him something to help with the pain and get him to sleep. I kissed him softly as he was drifting off and promised to be back the next day.
After an unsettled night’s sleep, I woke up to a text from Austin asking me to meet him for breakfast at a local diner. He said he missed me and couldn’t stop thinking about me. It really pissed me off, but I needed to see him to tell him exactly how I felt. I sent him back a sweet text telling him I couldn’t wait to see him.
I got dressed in one of my prettiest summer dresses and some black flip-flops. I put my hair up with some pretty pins and put on some simple makeup. Knowing I looked good, I headed to the diner.
I could see Austin’s truck in the parking lot when I got there. My stomach was hurting from the nerves, but I knew I had to confront him.
I made my way inside, and I saw him sitting at a booth toward the back. He got up when he spotted me and headed my way. I put on my best smile and hugged him back when he put his arms around me. I didn’t want to make a scene and disrupt everyone else’s breakfast.
We settled into the booth, and I ordered a coffee and some eggs and toast. We made small talk until the food came. He told me he had been really busy with work, and that the dry wall business was on fire that summer. I wanted to slap the smile right off his face, but I held myself back.