Getting Over You

by Jaxson Kidman

  “My eyes do what they want,” he said.

  “Just like your tongue,” I said, not exactly thinking what that could have implied.

  My cheeks burned bright red.

  Crosby smiled big.

  “Oh, jeez,” I said. “I think I’m done here.”

  “Steal a kiss and leave me,” he said. “Ouch.”

  “You stole the kiss,” I said. “And you got to smoke.”

  “Fair enough,” he said. “So, are you going to run with me or not?”

  “Why would I run with you?”

  “Because it’s fun. And I’ll tell you about my trip.”

  “Maybe I’ll just wear a low-cut shirt next time and hold out on smoking until you tell me,” I threw back at him.

  “That could work too,” he said. “This is getting interesting, love.”

  “Yes, it is,” I said.

  “I still think you should run with me.”

  “I still think you should apologize for breaking into my car.”

  “The door was unlocked.”

  “Doesn’t matter, Crosby. This is a nice neighborhood.”

  “Says the wild girl smoking outside of her car, polluting the air, making out with a stranger while he’s on a run…”

  My cheeks burned hot again. “I think I’m starting to hate you a little.”

  “That’s good, Josie,” he said, closing in on me again. “Hating me will protect you from me.”

  “I don’t feel all that protected right now.”

  “There’s a difference between kissing me and falling for me.”

  “Falling for you?” I asked. “I won’t even run for you. I’ll just stand here and watch you pass by.”

  Crosby curled his lip. “That’s exactly what I need to hear.”

  He gently brushed his lips to my cheek and started to back away. My right hand shot out and took a handful of his shirt. I pulled with force, needing more.

  “Trouble,” he said right before kissing me.

  It was hotter than the previous kiss.

  His hands found that secret spot on my hips, and when he pushed off from there, I almost fell to the ground.

  He started to run, not looking back, just being swallowed up by the road and horizon, like always. Leaving me licking my lips for a lingering taste. The stupid guitar keychain still hooked to my pinky, while I took deep breaths in an attempt to calm myself.

  Crosby left without saying goodbye.

  Which only meant I would see him again… soon.

  13

  NOT SO LONG…

  NOW

  Crosby

  I opened the drawer I said I would never open, but I never took anything out. I stared at the contents for a minute or so and then shut it and stood up. It had been a long day of working with getting nothing done. Those were the worst days for me. Obsessing over a note, or a chord, or the sound in my head versus the sound I was hearing when I played the music.

  I took it all seriously, probably too seriously, which pissed me off.

  After downing a glass of water, I left the house to start my run.

  Instead of running to Josie’s street in a roundabout way, I made a straight line to it.

  I tried to clear my head, which running usually helped with. It had been a really long while now since Cindi called me, yet I couldn’t stop thinking about her. She called and left no message for me. Leaving me hanging, wondering what she wanted. Maybe something good was happening. Maybe something bad. Maybe she just wanted to yell at me. Tell me she hated me. Tell me she wished she had never let me take Nicholas to the lake that day.

  Growling under my breath, I started to speed up. The sooner I lost my breath, the sooner my thoughts would go away.

  I pumped my arms and legs, staring forward at the street.

  The only thing that could save me right now from complete collapse was Josie. She didn’t know that though. I couldn’t tell her. At least not right now.

  But I needed her.

  I really needed her.

  And the moment I saw her standing at her car, I felt this sense of relief come over me. I caught myself smiling, running even harder because I wanted to get to her faster. The true reason I ran so much didn’t matter now. All that mattered was getting to Josie. To hear her voice. To look into her eyes. To find a way to make her smile and say something to make her roll her eyes.

  There was a surprise waiting for me as I closed in on her.

  She wasn’t smoking.

  And she wasn’t in her normal attire of messy jeans and t-shirt.

  Instead, she was wearing shorts that showed off a set of legs that made me almost trip over my own two feet. The way those shorts moved up above her knee and teased that they were going to keep going and going…

  But that wasn’t it.

  She was in a black tank top that hugged all the right places and all the right curves. The straps of the tank top rested on her shoulders, and underneath were the gray colored straps of her bra. There were curves up top and down to her hips. My eyes moved up and down so fast, I felt dizzy. I put my left hand out, just in case I needed to touch her car to keep myself from eating the pavement right there in the middle of the street.

  “Are we doing this or what?” she asked me without even so much as a hello.

  “Doing what?” I asked.

  Josie looked down at herself. “I’m not dressed to paint.”

  “So, what are you dressed for, love?”

  She rolled her eyes. “You said if I ran with you, you’d tell me about your trip and why you hated it so much.”

  “You’re really going to run with me?” I asked.

  “Sure,” she said.

  “Want to have a smoke first?”

  “No,” she said.

  I got even closer to her. “I was only messing with you, Josie. We don’t have to go for a run. I’ll take you out somewhere. We can grab something to eat. Have a drink. Talk…”

  “We tried that,” she said. “You stormed away. I chased you down. Then I left.”

  “So that was our first date.”

  “Sadly, it was,” she said.

  “That wasn’t all that memorable.”

  “I blame you, Crosby.”

  “I blame me too,” I said.

  Josie stared at me for a few quiet seconds before putting a hand to my chest and pushing. “Come on, let’s do this.”

  Before I could say anything else, she started to run.

  I watched her for way too long, really unsure of who this woman was.

  I caught up to Josie in seconds… but I had the feeling I would chase her down no matter where she went.

  I never ran for pleasure. I never gave a shit about running for pleasure once in my life. My life revolved around music and using that as the perfect excuse to party. Running was punishment. Running was the only way I could try to fix what was wrong, even if the end result would forever be the same.

  “So, tell me what happened,” Josie said, wasting no time in getting to the point.

  I looked over at her.

  Her cheeks a little red. Sweat glistening on her forehead. Her hair pulled back and bouncing behind her. My eyes looking down just enough to see her chest.

  She stole my breath. She caught my goddamn attention and stole my breath.

  We were jogging, definitely not the normal intense pace I was used to.

  “It was an ego massage,” I said.

  “Meaning?”

  “They wanted me down there to show off what the songs sounded like. I didn’t need it and I didn’t care about it either. And they want me to move down there.”

  “To Nashville?”

  “Yeah,” I said. “Which honestly makes sense to do. If that’s where the money is right now… and the work… logically, it makes sense, right?”

  “I guess so,” Josie said. She looked over at me again. “So, what’s the problem?”

  “Maybe I’m not sure of that yet.”

  “Bullshit.”


  “What?”

  “That’s bullshit, Crosby. You see everything.”

  “Do I?” I asked. I slowed down and reached for her arm to stop her. “What do I see, love?”

  Josie took a few deep breaths. “You see everything. There’s a reason why you run the way you do. There’s a reason why you act the way you do. And there’s a reason why you do the music thing the way you do.”

  “Yeah? And what are all those reasons?”

  “I don’t know,” she said. “You’re not running for your health. And you’re not writing music because you enjoy it.”

  All the notion of flirting and fun suddenly took a flip. It was replaced with a sense of anger… at myself. For maybe exposing myself too much to Josie.

  “And yourself?” I asked.

  “What about me?”

  “You don’t want to live where you live. But you live there.”

  “This isn’t about me,” she said. “I’m not running for my health either. I’m running to find out why you hated your trip so much.”

  I took a step and Josie got in my way.

  I sidestepped and she jumped without hesitation.

  I put my hands to her hips and lifted her up so she was eye level with me. My teeth gritted hard as I took a breath.

  “Careful with the games, love,” I whispered. “I already told you it’s better off if you hate me.”

  “Who said I didn’t still hate you?” she asked. “I’m curious.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I think I’m right. You don’t want to have someone else singing your songs. But you let it happen anyway. Just the same as I hate that I’m wasting time and talent painting murals in restaurants and at parks.”

  “Great,” I said. “We both hate what we do. Now what?”

  Josie didn’t answer. She just stared. We were sweating. Her skin glistened and she smelled delicious. She was the perfect distraction and the only way to ease anything I felt.

  I kissed her, just once, and put her back on her feet. Her hands clutched at my shirt. She was still silent.

  Challenging me.

  “I could outrun you,” I whispered.

  “Then do it,” she said. “I know how to get home, Crosby.”

  “Let me ask you something, Josie. The girl who lived across from me for a few months… what happened to her when she went back home?”

  “She was the same person,” Josie said.

  “So, your parents learned to accept your bad girl ways?”

  “No,” she said. “We were always broken. Still are. Now tell me about the boy across from me.”

  “What about him?” I asked.

  “What happened to him?”

  “He tried to take care of everyone. Of everything. All the time.”

  “So now he runs to get away from it all,” she said.

  “That’s where you’re wrong, love. So very wrong.”

  I kissed her forehead and moved around her to keep running.

  I didn’t need miles on the road to be out of breath… Josie was doing that just fine on her own.

  We rounded the turn to go back to Josie’s street.

  Running side by side, glancing at each other, a sense of tension and secrets burning between us. I should have never suggested running with her, joking or not. I should have never stopped and asked her for a smoke that one day either. Something about her caught my attention. In a lot of ways, she was just like me. Which could be a really bad thing.

  There were so many words on the tip of my tongue as we ran along the sidewalk. We were down to just a minute or two before we’d stop running. Then what? I could sneak another kiss from her and leave. I could ask her out again and go that route. For what though? Hell, I could go home and pack a bag and move. Why not? If I called Jonny and told him I was leaving for Nashville for good, he’d meet me at the airport in a heartbeat.

  As the thoughts and options ran through my mind, Josie touched my arm.

  I looked over at her and I swore she looked ready to cry.

  The running came to a fast stop and I cut in front of her.

  She bounced off my body. “Crosby…”

  “I fucking hate doing what I do,” I said. “I write songs for other people. Why? Because this is what I know. This is what I do. I write music. I always have. I always will. Did I write my own music? Yeah. I did. I wrote a lot of it, love. And that music is tucked away in a place that I promised myself I would never go again. Why do I do it, Josie? Because it’s music. Same as you. Because it’s art and what you do.”

  We were in silence again.

  Josie looked left, then right.

  She grabbed my shirt and pulled. “Follow me.”

  We moved from the sidewalk to the front yard of a house. I looked at the house and made a mental note of which one it was and how far away Josie parked her car. All so she could smoke?

  “Hurry,” she said.

  We started to jog along the side of the house. Once around to the back, Josie crouched down and lifted the doormat to reveal a silver key. She unlocked the door and returned the key.

  I followed her into the house and she made a line right for the steps off the kitchen. She was moving fast. Which was fine by me. If she wanted to take advantage of the house being quiet, so did I. We were both sweaty after running, in some way still trying to catch our breaths, and Josie wasn’t helping me by the way she ran up the steps and led the way to the first bedroom on the right. She was definitely like nobody I’d ever met before. The second she entered the bedroom, she turned and grabbed my shirt again, pulling me to her.

  She smelled of sweat and something fruity. Her eyes were just as lethal too.

  “So, we hate everything about our lives,” she whispered. “Stuff that happened. What we do now.

  “I guess so, love,” I said.

  “And here we are. Alone. Together. Something wild.”

  “You’re something wild, Josie.”

  “A big rockstar like yourself… this can’t be the first time you’ve done something like this…”

  I laughed. “I don’t know what you’re trying to prove, but I like it.”

  Josie slid her hands over my damp shirt and touched my jaw. “I don’t do this kind of thing, Crosby. Ever. I haven’t done… it’s been a while…”

  “That’s okay,” I whispered. I gently kissed her lips. “I’ll take care of you, Josie. I promise.”

  The word promise came off my lips too easily. Too quickly.

  That word had destroyed my life before.

  I growled under my breath and kissed Josie harder.

  She was the reason I would let all the other reasons fade away.

  Even if it was just temporarily.

  I needed it. I needed her.

  My hands touched the back of her legs, feeling her skin. I lifted and pulled, taking her off her feet. I walked her right to the bed, not really caring whose bedroom this actually was. Judging by the plain walls and plain sheets on the bed, I figured it was just some random guest room and never got used.

  As I lowered myself down to the bed on top of her, Josie clawed at the back of my sweaty shirt, wanting it off. I dropped her to the bed and stood up. Using just one hand, I wrestled my sweat laced shirt up over my head.

  “Oh, yes,” Josie groaned as she propped herself up on her elbows.

  I stared with marvel as though she was already naked. Something had switched over in her body, taking her from this beautiful woman running with me to this sexy vixen demanding a little after run workout.

  I tossed my shirt to the floor and put my hands flat to the bed and leaned forward and down, meeting Josie for another wild kiss. The taste of her sweet lips and the way her tongue tried to flutter and flirt was goddamn adorable. I took control of the kiss, showing her what it really meant to be kissed. She groaned into my mouth with a sighing sense of relief, but we were far from any real sense of relief.

  My right hand moved from the bed to her hip. Fingertips fighting with her s
hirt as it clung to her body. It was a battle I won, and my hand rested against her soft skin. My lips moved from her lips down to her neck. The tip of my tongue flickering against her skin, tasting her sweat and craving her desire.

  She put her head back and groaned again.

  The sound was sweet and flirty.

  Surges of heat and need soared throughout my body.

  I wanted her in a way I couldn’t remember ever really feeling. This broken sense of desire and heartache pouring from both of us, not knowing what caused it, making the moment more and more intense as the seconds built up between us.

  I kissed down to her chest. I rubbed the tip of my nose against her skin, feeling how slippery it was from our run together. My right hand moved toward her belly, flirting with the top of her pants. There was no button or zipper in the way either. The same for me too, which made what Josie did to me very obvious.

  My lips and tongue craved more than just the top of her cleavage.

  I looked up at her as my fingertips eased down the front of her pants. Our eyes locked for a brief moment before she lowered herself down to the bed. Her back almost instinctively began to arch, her hips shivering for more.

  I felt warm and smooth skin, knowing where it would lead to.

  I hovered over her, my left hand flat against the bed, my elbow locked. I watched the way Josie began to breathe, her head back, eyes fluttering open and shut. The way she gently bit her bottom lip as my fingertips crept closer to her core. Rounding her most beautiful curve, touching delicate and forbidden skin, Josie let out a loud sigh and thrust her hips up.

  I pressed harder against her, feeling the way her body was eager to welcome me.

  My body pressed against the side of her leg. I made sure to lean against her in a way that she could feel all of me.

  I bent my elbow and lowered down, wanting to kiss her. I wanted to taste her pleasure-filled groan as I plunged into her body.

  As my lips gently grazed hers, teasing her for a second, there was a loud boom from directly under us.

  Josie gasped and hurried to sit up. “Fuck.”

  “What’s wrong?” I asked.

  “Someone’s home,” she said, eyes wide with wildness as though we were teenagers about to get caught doing something wrong.

  I smiled. “So what?”