The Bedeviled Heart (The Highland Heather and Hearts Scottish Romance Series)

by Carmen Caine

  She could not proceed. She could not risk the severe punishment. She whirled to leave just as Cameron barreled around the last step and collided into her, slamming her back against the garden’s stone wall.

  They stood there, breathing heavily. Feeling his chest pressed against hers summoned unbidden memories of the night before. His voice had been soothing, gentle, and his lips had teased her into a multitude of pleasurable sensations.

  How had it suddenly gone so wrong?

  A gust of wind swept through the garden, snapping the royal pennants above them and breaking the spell.

  Cameron stepped back. “I told ye to forget me, Kate,” he said hoarsely, his dark eyes snaring hers. “Now, ye surely see why!”

  Raising her chin, she replied tightly, “Aye. You are an earl. Ye’d never wed a lass such as me.”

  “Aye.” He curled his hands into fists. “I’ll not be responsible for another death.” His voice was strangely thick.

  At that, she paused. Everyone knew the Earl of Lennox had wed seven times, and three of his wives had given him daughters. She had not realized she could hurt even more. Closing her eyes, she whispered, “Ach, ye have bairns.”

  He didn’t respond.

  She took a deep breath, unsure of what to feel.

  “I’ll not see ye again, Kate.” He finally broke the silence between them. “But I’ll see ye taken care of. I—”

  Tossing her head, she shoved him back, hard. “I’ll not take a coin from ye. I’ll pay ye back the shilling, and for the water from the Pilgrim’s Well.” Glancing down at her gown, she suddenly realized exactly where it had come from. Yanking at the fabric, she added almost hysterically, “Aye and I’ll be happy wearing my own clothing. I canna be rid of this accursed gown fast enough!”

  He went white.

  She turned her back on him then, and fled up the stairs, letting the tears flow unchecked down her cheeks.

  Aye, she was done with Stirling Castle.

  Once inside Lady Elsa’s chamber, she quickly changed into her brown dress and tucking the water from the Pilgrim’s Well in her sleeve, turned to leave only to find Maura and Lady Elsa standing at the door.

  “And what potion have ye there, Kate?” Maura’s sharp eyes were livid. “Is that how ye bespelled the earl?”

  “Silence!” Lady Elsa ordered haughtily. Stepping close, she whispered through trembling lips, “Aye, the earl is a man, Kate. While he might happily bed a wanton like you when you strike his fancy, he’ll never make you respectable. He’ll choose a fine, upright lady, such as I, to stand by his side, someone of breeding and distinction. He’ll never choose a whore. You are ruined! No good man will want you—”

  “Silence, ye thoughtless lass!”

  All three of them jumped back, startled to see Lord Julian Gray duck his head to step into the chamber.

  “Come, my sweet.” The fair-haired lord gently extended his hand to Kate. “Shall we quit this foolish place?”

  Numbly, she allowed him to guide her out into the courtyard even as she heard Maura pleading desperately from behind her, “Don’t go, Kate! Don’t leave me! I want that potion! Ye have to make me bonny, Kate! Please, just make me bonny!”

  Snorting at the woman under his breath, Julian pulled Kate along by the wrist through Stirling’s gates to the town outside its mighty walls. Towering over her, the man kindly brushed a curl behind her ear before leaning down to plant a brotherly kiss on her forehead.

  “Cameron loves ye, Kate,” he said softly. “The foolish lad fears he’s cursed and that his touch will cause ye harm, even death. The fool thinks to drive ye away to protect ye. Be patient with the man. He’s given ye his heart.”

  Overwhelmed, Kate simply stared at him. Only the day before, those words would have made her heart sing. Now, she glanced away, disbelieving. And even if she were foolish enough to believe, the man was an earl. There was no hope in it.

  “Ach, this story is not yet finished, lass,” Julian said with an amiable chuckle. “But tell me where might I escort ye this fine day?”

  Kate looked up into the bright sky. Only a day ago, she had thought the world to be turning into a fine and promising place. Now, she could see little promise anywhere.

  “Thank ye kindly, my lord.” She bowed into a deep curtsey. “But I’ll take no more of your time. May ye have a good day.”

  With that, she turned on her heel and strode down Castle Hill.

  Aye, she’d treat her father’s eyes with the water from the Pilgrim’s Well, and then they would both leave at once for Edinburgh. There was plenty of work to be had there. She’d pay the earl back his coin and then, as he had asked, forget him.

  Aye, she had no choice but to forget him.

  Hot tears threatened, but she slapped her cheeks, forcing them away. “Ach, ye are such a fool! Ye canna weep over this. Ye willna weep over this, ye fool!”

  Finally back at Maura’s cottage, she kissed her father in greeting and silently bathed his eyes until his gentle prodding finally induced her to speak. She had scarcely said three words before he asked her what ailed her and his understanding, tender hug unleashed the torrent of tears that she swore she would never shed.

  With her head upon his lap, she confessed her folly, leaving nothing unsaid. Her thin shoulders shaking with despair.

  “Ach, my wee bairn.” Her father compassionately ran his palm over her head. “’Tis a tale as old as time—the love betwixt a lad and a lass.”

  “But he doesna love me,” she whispered.

  “If ye say so, my wee one,” he replied. “But know ye this. I’ll always love ye, and I know ‘tis only your warm heart that led ye down this path. ‘Twas the same path as your mother before ye, my wee bairn.”

  Surprised, Kate lifted her head.

  “’Tis why she asked ye to think so often. She saw so much of herself in ye. But I never regretted that ye came to us only several months after we wed. My ship was months late, and ‘twas a fair surprise to see your wee mother waiting for me on the docks with a burgeoning belly.” There was a smile in his voice.

  Kate froze.

  Not only because of her parents’ secret, but more so from the fact that she’d never once thought of the possible consequence of the night before.

  Surely, it took more than once to make a bairn?

  “Whatever the future brings us, my sweet wee one, we’ll find our path together, I promise ye,” her father was saying.

  Overwhelmed, Kate held her father’s hands tightly. They were prematurely aged, dry, and wrinkled. With a pang, she remembered they had always been strong, brown, and smelling of fish from the many hours on the lochs.

  How could she take care of him?

  And now she had a new concern.

  Sweet Mary, she prayed she did not carry a bairn. How could she feed it?

  Bowing her head, she clenched her fists.

  Aye. This was a lesson she would never forget. She would not only think twice, but thrice from this moment forward.

  Chapter Eight - The Prophecy

  Cameron stood in the door of his chambers, unwilling to enter, staring at the freshly made bed with a sense of loss that threatened to undo him. Images of Kate danced through his mind. Aye, she had been the purest pleasure he had ever experienced.

  How had he forgotten that fate denied him such pleasure?

  What had he done?

  He closed his eyes, filled with horror at his lack of control.

  Never had he felt such a love. Aye, his time with her had been short, but he knew he loved the lass more than he loved anything.

  What if he had already condemned Kate to an untimely death? There would be no penance for that crime.

  He struck the door with his fist.

  His behavior was unforgiveable.

  And even if fate spared her and he had not consigned her to a life of imminent doom, he had most certainly broken her heart. He would never forget the look on her face when she had realized his identity. She had seemed lost.
Forlorn. Betrayed.

  While he wanted nothing more than to hold her in his arms for eternity, he loved her too much to deny her the best chance of a long life. Aye, he must love her enough to let her go and to never touch her again. Such a life would be an endless torture for him, but for Kate he could endure such loneliness.

  Mayhap her broken heart would heal over time.

  It was his lot to stand, watching from afar.

  He drew a long, dragging breath and closed his eyes when a horrifying thought struck him.

  No one in the Great Hall had missed the exchange. Now, his enemies knew his weakness. He wasn’t a fool. In court, he knew those who willingly kissed his cheek in greeting would hardly hesitate to knife him or poison his food if it suited their purposes.

  Now, Kate was a target.

  Fear rippled through him, along with the sinking realization that it was already beginning. Already, he had set in motion the fate that would rob her of life.

  Swearing loudly, he whirled and strode purposefully through the royal apartments to the chambers of Princess Anabella. He did not wait for her ladies-in-waiting to announce him. Shamelessly, he opened the door, waded through the shocked, gasping women, and entered Princess Anabella’s privy chamber.

  The princess sat at a large table, feeding her precious dog bits of waterfowl. She glanced up as he stood boldly before her.

  “Aye,” the woman said, taking one look at him. “Now ye have seen what ye’ve done, ye foolish lad.”

  He had always shared a special bond with the princess. Upon occasion, she had played the role of mother after his own mother had died giving birth to him. He winced. Even then, his touch had been death.

  Stooping to place her dog upon the floor, the princess commented harshly, “I always warned ye that love was the worst danger of all.”

  Her expression was bitter. She had suffered two ill-fated marriages, both having ended in annulment. And she had loved each husband, only to experience the court intrigue that ripped them both from her side.

  He suddenly found his voice. “Kate must join your household.”

  The woman pursed her lips and replied with a severe scowl, “Though ‘tis dangerous for ye both if she remains outside the castle, having her here with me will be even more so if ye cannot keep your hands off the lass.”

  “I will never touch her again,” Cameron whispered hoarsely. “I swear it!”

  Princess Anabella rose from the table. She was an imposing figure and considered by many to be the most powerful woman in Scotland. She was definitely the most politically astute. “’Tis the only chance the lass has. If our enemies believe your heart lies elsewhere then she cannot be used as a tool against us.”

  Clenching his jaw, Cameron nodded.

  “But after your spectacle this morning, ‘twill take much convincing, and it may never be done, ye foolish lad.” She shook her head in exasperation, sweeping her hands over her skirts as a hard expression entered her eyes. “Ye’ll have to wed again, Cameron. And right quickly.”

  Cameron felt the color drain from his face.

  “Ye’ll wed your ward, Lady Elsa,” Princess Anabella announced starkly.

  “No!” He answered in a chilling tone. He’d never touch another woman but Kate. Aye, if he couldn’t have her, he would turn monk.

  “’Tis not your touch that is cursed, lad,” the princess retorted, misunderstanding him. “’Tis your blood. Ye’ll never love as others can. You are a Stewart. Ye’ll wed your ward and suffer whatever fate has in store for ye.”

  “I’ll not do it,” Cameron replied. It was a vow never more fervently felt.

  “Ye haven’t a choice.” The woman shrugged.

  He watched her move to the window, stubborn and resolute, and then he replied with soft authority, “No. Ye haven’t a say in this. Ye’ll take Kate into your household this day. I’ll never wed again. Not even Lady Elsa. Send for Kate at once and be swift.”

  Princess Anabella turned a shocked expression his way as he strode from the chamber, pushing through her ladies eavesdropping at the door.

  “Cameron!” the princess shouted after him. “Love is only for fools! Ye must prove that ye no longer care for the lass or else ‘twill be used against ye, if not us all!”

  He paused, his hand on the latch, to whisper, “I’ll never stop loving Kate.”

  Making his way to the royal stables, he ordered his charger to be made ready with haste, and shortly thereafter, pounded through Stirling’s gates and down into the town.

  Kate had refused his aid. He understood her anger. Ach, he deserved more than a slap on the face, but he would not let her suffer. He would take care of her, whether she willed it or no, and he knew right well how to do it.

  Spurring his horse on, he galloped through the cobblestoned streets and down the tree-lined lane to Maura’s cottage.

  Dismounting, he entered without hesitation.

  “Cameron?” Kate’s father stood in the door of the back room, leaning heavily on a cane. “Kate isn’t here, lad. She’s gone to the almshouse to ask for aid—”

  “The almshouse?” Cameron snorted contemptuously. Ach, but she was a wee stubborn lass. Did she truly imagine he’d allow her to throw herself at the mercy of an almshouse? Who did she think him to be? Setting his annoyance aside, he cleared his throat. “I’ve not come to speak to Kate, sir.”

  “Ah!” The man nodded once, moving back in invitation and holding out a shaking hand. “Pray enter, lad. Ach, forgive me! I should address ye properly, my lord.”

  Cameron caught his breath and flinched. “Then Kate … has spoken to ye?”

  “Aye, my lord.” Her father sat down heavily on the edge of his straw pallet and placing both hands upon his cane, leaned wearily against it. “The lass told me the truth of it.”

  “Then know that I’ll never allow her near the almshouse, sir. I’ve come to see ye both well taken care of,” Cameron swore in a strong, sure voice. “Princess Anabella will see to Kate, and I’ve come to ask what ye wish for yourself and I’ll see it done.”

  The man sat still, his head cocked slightly to the side for several long moments, and then he questioned mildly, “Are ye trying to buy me, lad?”

  “I am protecting Kate, sir,” Cameron replied firmly.

  The man nodded thoughtfully, and then asked, “I’ve one question for ye, my lord. And I beseech ye to answer it truthfully.”

  “Aye,” Cameron promised with a firm nod.

  “Do ye love my wee Kate?”

  Cameron took a deep breath. Clenching his jaw, he whispered the truth, “More than life itself!”

  Her father smiled. “’Twas in your voice from the beginning, lad, and it warms my heart to know that my Kate will be safe, even if I were to leave this world.”

  Cameron clenched his fists. “She’ll never be safe with me.” He could not lie to the man. “For my touch is death. I am a cursed man. Surely, ye’ve heard of the ill fate of my seven wives, and ‘tis not for naught that I am named the Dreaded Earl of Death. But I swear upon my life that I will never touch her again.” His voice shook with emotion and he paused a moment, and then finally managed to whisper, “I will pay for my sin by seeing her well taken care of the remainder of her life and ye in yours. I vow I will never lay a hand upon her again.”

  Leaning heavily on his cane, the man rose shakily to his feet and gave a snort. “’Tis a foolish vow, my lord, look around ye. Ye aren’t the only one to encounter loss and misfortune. Life is harsh and ‘tis only the love that makes life worth living. Once ye find it, dinna be so hasty to throw it away.”

  “Perhaps that is true,” Cameron murmured, and then added darkly, “… for others.”

  Kate’s father smiled a little, feeling his way to the tiny cottage window. His hands trembled as he fumbled with the latch. After watching him struggle a moment, Cameron reached over and gently pushed the shutters open.

  The man stood there, taking several deep breaths of the fresh air before speaking soft
ly. “I lost my sweet wife and youngest bairn, my livelihood as a fisherman, and I am now no more than a blind beggar, but I dinna call myself cursed. I have my wee Kate. I can still smell the fresh-turned earth. I can feel the heat of the sun and hear the call of the birds. Life is pain, lad, but life is also joy. Only ye can choose which way ye want to see it.”

  Watching the blind man stand there, leaning heavily upon a stick with shaking hands, Cameron suddenly felt ashamed. Aye, others suffered. There were many ways of suffering, he supposed, and clearly some had suffered far worse tragedy than he had.

  He was not in the habit of considering that.

  Feeling his way to the door, Kate’s father smiled. “Aye, I’ll accept your kind offer, my lord, and become your reminder.”

  “Reminder?” Cameron repeated, frowning a bit uncertainly.

  “Aye, my lord, ye’ll bring me into your personal household so I may sit on your hearth and remind ye daily that life is to be lived.” The expression on the man’s wan face was calm and self-assured, as one with deep knowledge of life. “Ye aren’t living, my lord, if ye let the fear of loss keep ye from love.”

  “Mayhap it is not my fate to have love,” Cameron responded bitterly.

  The man shrugged. “’Tis a coward’s answer, my lord.”

  Cameron’s head snapped back. “Did ye just name me a coward?” he asked, astonished. No one had ever dared to name him a coward before. The man was just like his daughter.

  “Aye.” The fisherman’s lips quirked in a half-smile. “My Kate has suffered much, yet she lives each day, cherishing the joy that comes her way. If such a wee lass can stand in the face of uncertain destiny, surely a man as powerful as ye can forge his own fate?”

  Cameron blinked and opened his mouth to retort, but the man lifted a hand. “I’ve one last wish, my lord.”

  “Aye?” Cameron responded slowly, unsure of what to expect.

  “Ye say ye love my Kate, enough ye would lay down your life for her, aye?”