The Complete Set

by Ainsley Shay

  When I looked up to his gaze again, I thought I saw a hint of recognition in his eyes, the smallest crack in his armor. “It’s me, Iris, the one you found, and the one you saved. Don’t you remember?” He stood as still as a statue and studied my face. His eyes closed for a brief moment and then opened. He was coming back to me. He was remembering to see me for who I was, or had been to him, what I had meant to him.

  Blacwin slid his sword out of its sheath and pointed it at me. “This is your final warning to leave this area.”

  Frustration and torment surged through me. I wanted to bang on his chest with my fists until he recognized me. Chandler pulled my arm. “Let’s go, Iris, we need to get out of here.”

  I believe Blacwin had to have had some small, distant memory of us, or he would've called for help or killed us by now. Wouldn’t he? My skin was so heated with anger and regret; warm tears fell down my cheeks. I reached up, and took the necklace from around my neck. The stone was heavy. I clasped it back together and hung it on the tip of his sword. The beautiful stone dangled from the sharp blade. I took one more look at Blacwin. “Maybe this will help you to remember you love me.” Shattered and dazed, I took a step back.

  His dark eyes narrowed and his gaze dropped to the stone and then up to me. I closed my eyes and silently prayed the small, tangible stone would help him remember. Chandler tugged on my arm again. This time I willingly backed away from Blacwin. This new image and painful memory of him trumped all others I had. Having him right in front of me, staring at me as if I was a stranger was worse than all the weeks he had been away; when I hadn’t known if he was alive or dead, coming home, or being tortured.

  The beatings he must have taken to mold him into this person I didn’t know had to have been severe. He had been tortured nearly next to me, in the same castle, by his own brother, and the fallen angel who vowed to love me forever. “I love you and you...” The rest was too painful to voice. I understood then what Adelina tried to explain to me about love and revenge. There was no forgiving now, there was only the one thing I had come here to do and I had never been more ready to do anything in my entire life. I turned my back on Blacwin. Hatred for Lord Darenfys had become every shade of every color I had briefly seen, every drop of blood I’d tasted, every person I have ever loved and lost, every person who had died for me, everything I had ever known collided into this one moment.

  “I’m ready to kill.”

  17

  There was a time in my life when I was happy. That time hadn't been too long ago. My life wasn’t perfect, but it was perfect for me. In only a few months, I’d lost friends and a parent, found a parent and a brother, and learned witches and fallen angels exist in my world. I fell in love and then lost it. I’d seen vibrant colors, only to wake and have them disappear. Everything I’d ever known and found and lost had been taken from me.

  I followed Chandler through deserted corridors and sparsely furnished rooms. We came upon an unlocked door. It was a small storage room. It was barely large enough for the two of us. When I closed the door, we were in complete darkness.

  “What do we do now?” I asked.

  He ignored my question. His hand found my hand and he squeezed. “Iris, I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t.” I didn’t want to cry. I had reached beyond the point of furious and I needed to stay mad if I was going to stab someone.

  “I get what you’re trying to do. But, it won’t work. You can’t push feelings so strong into some abyss, never to be seen again. And, from experience, you sure as hell can’t fight and not get killed with emotions like guilt and sadness eating you alive from the inside out.” Chandler’s voice was stern and unwavering.

  “It’s a good thing I don’t feel those things.” I could feel my wall of fury crumbling.

  “You suck at lying.”

  He pulled me into a fierce hug. There wasn’t any reason to fight it, so I collapsed against him. My words came fast and my questions expected no answers. “I wanted him to be fine, like you. I thought he was faking the zombie-puppet charade, like you were.” The tears returned. “Why are you fine and he’s not? What did they do to him? He had no idea who I was. And you, he didn’t acknowledge you because he probably thought you were just another guard.”

  “I told you they changed him. Blacwin was... difficult—and Penemuel made him pay for it. Pay for the last five hundred years he chose not to serve Lord Darenfys.” I felt him take a deep breath and exhale. “If it was worse than what they did to me, then...” his voice dissolved in the darkness.

  “Then what?” I pushed. I didn’t want to know details. They would be images in my head I would never be able to erase. But, maybe knowing what they did could help him find himself again.

  His exacerbated breath told me everything I hadn’t wanted to hear. “He may never recover.” Chandler pulled away from me as if he could look into my eyes to explain. “Iris, Blacwin was treated with all the discipline he neglected for five centuries. His brother made sure he got what was coming to him.”

  His words rushed me like a stampede. “Chandler, I don't know how to get him back. But, there has to be a way. I won’t accept anything else. I didn’t come here to lose another person I love. I will do whatever it takes to save him.”

  I hated his next words, but expected nothing different. “You know I won't let you get killed over him.”

  I pulled him tight against me. “I know.”

  We gathered as much strength and courage as we could before we left the small closet. Chandler looked left and right. The hall was empty. His guard uniform had come in handy more times than I could count. He looked as official and fierce as any of the other guards we came in contact with. When we had run into other guards, Chandler acted as if he was escorting me to a new holding location. It was disturbing to watch Chandler shift from zombie-puppet back to himself so quickly. On our way to Lord Darenfys’ quarters, we found an unoccupied room with a half-filled basin. It was enough water to let me clean the dirt and blood off.

  I wished Blacwin had been able to do the same as Chandler. Shifting from guard back to my boyfriend. That sounded weird, boyfriend. I almost asked Chandler what he would consider Blacwin to me, but I didn’t. Aside from the fact I loved Blacwin, we needed him. His strength and knowledge was more than an asset, he was our support, our rock.

  We turned the last corner before coming upon Lord Darenfys’ quarters.

  “It's about time,” Penemuel said as we approached the Lord’s door. Chandler had shifted into zombie-puppet mode. “Look at my obedient soldier.” Penemuel’s eyes peered into mine with all the hatred of five hundred years. “Are you as amazed as I always am how you can turn someone into something they’ve fought their entire life to become?”

  I tasted blood in my mouth and realized how hard I was biting my lip to keep from saying anything I’d regret. “It’s quite amazing,” I said without conviction.

  “Once you’re here long enough, you’ll see my side, and you’ll be as amazed as I am.”

  Chandler stood even straighter, upon hearing Penemuel’s words.

  Penemuel glanced from me to Chandler, and then back to me. “The Lord has been pacing, of all things, as he awaited his bride-to-be to complete her transition.”

  “Well, he can stop now,” I announced, with a sarcastic tone rimming the edges of my cheery comment. While in the small closet, I made my already makeshift belt into a garter where I hid the dagger on the inside of my thigh. The heaviness of the knife gave me more confidence than I had without it. “Are you going to open the door so I can see the Lord, or are you going to give me a creative writing paper to do first?”

  Penemuel scowled. There was a low growl in his throat as he turned and knocked on the door.

  “Come in!” hollered Lord Darenfys.

  Penemuel opened the door. Without looking at Chandler, I walked into the self-made monster’s quarters. Penemuel hadn’t thought to search me. A fool, just as Adelina said he was. Besides, what would a girl be
doing with a dagger in a dungeon, anyway? Before the door shut behind me I heard Penemuel excuse Chandler.

  Darenfys wore a light, loose-fitting shirt and dark slacks. I had never seen him so casually dressed. “My Lord,” I said as I bowed, wanting to throw up for my polite gesture.

  “It feels like forever that I’ve been waiting for you.” He took my hands in his and spread my arms. “Ah, my precious...” he paused, “what do you prefer, Lady Catherine or Lady Iris? It’s entirely up to you.”

  “Iris.” I couldn’t bring myself to say the “lady” part.

  “Well, my precious Iris, I must say my blood suites you beautifully.” He examined me from head to toe.

  “It does,” I agreed. “Maybe that was all I needed all along in order to love you; to have part of you inside me.” It took everything I had ever learned about manipulation, lying, and the desperate will to survive to say those words without throwing up.

  “I agree, my dear. Though, I must say, you have a way with your gowns I will never understand. We must get the seamstress here at once.”

  “That would be nice, my Lord.”

  When he embraced me, I was frozen with apprehension and shock. Reluctantly, I let him and placed my hands on his shoulders. I felt no comfort in the embrace, though I had elevated from a place consisting of mistrust and doubt, into very dangerous territory... hope; hope that he would trust me.

  He took my hand and guided me to the chaise near the balcony. “I need to tell you the truth before we are to be married.”

  My body stiffened with fear and I took a quick, audible breath. The words, truth and married, each held their own reasons which exuded the same response. “Okay.” It was all I could manage as the switchblades in my stomach opened.

  “Do you know the story of why I fell from the Heavens?”

  I knew only what Mr. Yves had told me. Lord Darenfys wasn’t evil like other angels who had fallen. Darenfys had fallen in love, and God refused to let them be together. So, Darenfys thought if he was human, he could love whom he wanted, and be with them. He thought drinking the blood of humans would make him like other mortal men. “I only know what I’ve read in a book about others like you,” I admitted.

  Lord Darenfys’ beautiful face relaxed. His features softened and he seemed to be lost in memories of the past. “You remind me of her,” he said quietly. He held my hand in his and turned the ring on my thumb over and over.

  “Who do I remind you of?”

  He ignored my question as he continued to think of his past. “When he refused me to be with her, I couldn’t imagine a life without her in it. Then, when you arrived at Skelside, I thought maybe... or more, I had hoped... it was her. You were so much like her. The way you turn bashful in my presence, how you wanted to please me, but at the same time you wanted to never forget your needs and who you were. She was strong like you.” He laughed. “Her tongue was not as crass as yours, but I think that is only a sign of woman’s rights, or whatever they’re calling it these days.” His eyes were far away. His mouth turned up slightly as he thought of the girl he had fallen in love with in Heaven. His story was sad. I began to feel sorry for him. Lord Darenfys, his name meaning, “dark rainbow” was truly in love with a girl he was forbidden to be with. “She is all I have thought about since she was admitted into the heavens.”

  My heart ached for this inhuman person. He had only wanted and dreamed for what most of us want—to find love and to be loved. “I’m sorry,” I said, with more feeling and understanding than I would have ever thought possible. Blacwin had searched for me, and all of these centuries later he still loved me. I hadn’t known what it felt like to have feelings for someone who would love you back, until Blacwin. To want someone so badly and never be able to have them was worse than purgatory. The need eats you from the inside. The suffering is fed by the ache for them.

  “Do you understand this feeling that takes over everything else?” Lord Darenfys asked.

  “I do,” I admitted, as my heart shattered a thousand times over thinking of Blacwin. To know Blacwin was incapable of ever loving me again, I understood more than I had ever comprehended anything in my life.

  Feelings and understanding for the fallen angel in front of me were so palpable I could have breathed life into them with each exhalation I made. But, I didn’t. Blacwin still won my heart. And I would never replace the girl Lord Darenfys fell in love with in Heaven. It was odd how he never said her name. He would be forever in search of the girl who made him want to be human. It was sad how he would be neither human nor angel. The Lord would forever be lost in a state of unworthiness, and unloved until he was put out of his misery.

  Lord Darenfys stood and went to the window. His form was a perfect silhouette in the light of the moon. He may have been waiting for me to say something. I feared if I spoke, any words would be the wrong ones.

  “When I saw you in your carriage as you rode onto Skelside soil, I knew it had to be her. Before Catherine’s foot touched down, I was in love. You were her, the girl, who over a thousand years ago stole my heart in Heaven.” A harsh laugh escaped his lips. “I had even thought maybe, just maybe, God was showing me mercy and had gifted her to me, reborn in my care.” The Lord shook his head. “No, that wasn’t it at all. Catherine came on her own.”

  Any words would be lost on the hollow air. I said the only thing that came to mind. “I did.”

  “The curse compounded all of the need to be with Catherine a thousand times over. The suffering was more than any mortal man or immortal fallen angel has ever known.” The Lord took my hand. “When Adelina took my ability to see color as collateral, I hated her for not trusting me. She wanted to make sure I’d go without something priceless if the transition had failed. But then, you came. I hated my colorless world, shade upon shade of nothing, but I hadn’t cared as long as I could make you happy. Do you miss seeing all of the glorious colors?” My heart was beating fast already, but now, it was thunder in my chest. He stared into my eyes, searching for truths.

  I remembered, from my nightmares, the stone in the well and what he had made Catherine do. It was a test he knew she would fail. And now, even if she had recovered the stone, Adelina would not have freed his ability to see colors. So, it hadn’t mattered, none of it mattered.

  He shook his head after a long period of silence. Lord Darenfys cupped my cheek. “It doesn’t matter, all that matters is you will accept my promise to give you the life you deserve, and to love you for eternity.”

  I had learned a long time ago promises were hollow wishes that were as light as the wind, and as heavy as a boulder. I did not acknowledge him. “Why do you still drink human blood? You have to know by know you’ll never be human.”

  “Because, I’m afraid if I stop drinking it, I’ll become what I was before.”

  I thought of the dome and his grinning handsome face as he fell. “You’re still that thing, a monster,” I blurted out.

  Lord Darenfys backhanded my face. I fell off the chaise. My hand rushed to the splintering pain along my cheekbone. I tried to back away, but he was kneeling in front of me within a fraction of a second. My hand reached between my legs and found the hilt of the dagger.

  “I’m sorry, my love. I’m sorry. Forgive me.” He pushed the hair away from my face. “I’m sorry,” he said again. He pulled me up and into his arms. Then, I let him do the one thing I swore I’d never, I let him kiss my lips. He lingered in the revolting moment. I pushed myself onto my knees and wrapped one arm around his shoulder.

  “I’m sorry,” he repeated over and over.

  I slid the dagger from the sheath. His lips moved against mine. I opened my mouth to his. Trust. Trust. Trust. The Lord had to trust me for only a sliver of time. My mind was calm and focused. I wasn’t the fearful girl I had been in the ballroom. That part of me had been drowned with the blood of the monster I vowed to kill, and replaced with a ferocious will for my freedom, and revenge for what he had done to Blacwin. I felt strength flow through my veins
as if it was a living thing.

  Lord Darenfys pulled back and looked into my eyes. “Between Heaven and Hell, there is only one love that could ever be strong enough to survive anything.”

  “I couldn’t agree more.” What he said was true; it just wasn’t our love.

  He leaned in to kiss me again. Any telltale sign of time passing ceased. No breaths were taken, no hearts beat, the second hand on the clock did not move forward. Nothing existed except his trust and my determination. Lightning flashed behind him as I brought the dagger up and thrust the blade into his flesh. His eyes went wide, then softened with sadness. Wetness pooled in the corners before falling and streaking his face. I forced the dagger into his chest until the hilt stopped my efforts. I stood and watched the blood of a hundred men stain his shirt. He fell onto his side. Lord Darenfys may have been immortal, but Adelina deBlays’ magic was stronger.

  I said a prayer for all who had suffered under his wrath, and a special one for sweet Lily.

  18

  Lord Darenfys was dead. I stood motionless and stared at the fallen angels’ body. There was no doubt he had been a magnificent creature. He lay on his back with the dagger still in his chest. The stone still clasped in his hand.

  He had fallen in love with a girl he couldn’t have, and then another. Loving humans was not what angels were supposed to do. They were to serve, that was all. I watched as his body began to wither, until the fabric of his clothes was all that was left lying on the floor next to the dagger. A stream of thin light encasing a tiny ball as bright as the sun rose up from the heap. It floated and fluttered to the balcony. I opened the door to the night. Lightning charged the sky. A storm was close. Ominous, billowing clouds shielded all of the stars. The heavens were in darkness.