The Right Time

by Dianne Blacklock

  ‘Yeah, I do, so I’d be pretty bloody suspicious if you were.’

  Evie frowned, that didn’t even make sense. ‘Craig, the thing is, Ellen and Tim have split up.’

  He looked at her blankly.

  ‘It’s true,’ she nodded. ‘They’ve separated. Ellen and Tim. Can you believe it?’

  He shrugged. ‘So what? They had a fight and she spent the night at your mum’s. They’ll sort it out.’

  ‘No, that’s not what happened. This is for real, Tim’s moved out into a flat.’

  ‘Fuck me.’

  ‘Craig,’ Evie admonished.

  ‘So bloody Tim’s gone and got himself a piece of arse,’ he said, shaking his head. ‘Didn’t think he had it in him.’

  ‘No, that’s not what happened either,’ said Evie. ‘They just . . .’ She didn’t want to say it. ‘They just fell out of love. Apparently.’

  Craig shrugged, his eyes wandering back to the TV. ‘Well, they have been married for, like, forever.’

  ‘Craig!’

  ‘What? It’s true. And they had to get married, maybe they never really loved each other.’

  ‘What a thing to say,’ Evie declared. ‘They’ve been together for eighteen years, they definitely loved each other.’

  ‘Well, looks like they don’t any more,’ he said.

  ‘So are you saying you’ll just fall out of love with me in a few years?’ she blurted, wishing she hadn’t said that out loud.

  ‘Ah, come on, darl,’ he said, patting her knee. ‘We’re not the same as them.’

  ‘You don’t think so?’ she said in a small voice.

  ‘Of course we’re not.’ He leaned over and gave her a kiss. ‘Chalk and cheese. I never did get Tim, he doesn’t even like sports. Do you know I was talking about the State of Origin one time and he asked me who was playing? What a moron!’ he chuckled, scratching his stomach.

  Evie didn’t know what that had to do with anything.

  ‘So,’ said Craig, picking up the remote, ‘can I go back to the movie now?’

  She snatched it out of his hand. ‘I’ll record your damn movie!’ she snapped, fumbling with the buttons.

  ‘Okay, okay,’ said Craig, holding up his hands. ‘I thought we were finished talking. I didn’t realise it was so important.’

  ‘Craig!’ she cried. ‘Ellen is my sister! And her marriage is over! Of course it’s important.’

  ‘All right, love,’ he said, putting his arm around her. ‘No reason to get so upset.’

  ‘Of course it’s a reason to get upset.’ You moron, she said to herself.

  ‘I mean you don’t have to get upset about us,’ he said, giving her a squeeze. ‘We’re good. You’re my puddin’, you know that.’

  Evie breathed out, leaning her head on his shoulder. ‘It’s just that we never talk about us, Craig. And we should. Obviously people can fall out of love and they don’t even see it coming.’

  ‘I don’t reckon they broke up because they didn’t talk,’ he said. ‘I reckon Ellen probably did enough talking for the both of them.’

  Evie looked up at him. ‘What do you mean by that?’

  ‘She’s never short of an opinion, your sister.’

  ‘You think that’s why they broke up?’ She pulled a face.

  ‘I dunno why they broke up,’ he said. ‘Whad’she tell you?’

  ‘Like I said, that they fell out of love.’

  ‘So they stopped having sex.’

  ‘Craig, it’s not necessarily the same thing,’ she insisted. ‘People might stop having sex once they fall out of love with each other.’

  ‘Maybe they fall out of love because they stop having sex, did you think of that?’

  Was he trying to say something here? ‘Don’t you think we have enough sex?’

  ‘Of course I don’t! I’m a red-blooded male, love, I could have sex all day, every day,’ he laughed, scratching his stomach again. He looked at her fraught expression. ‘Don’t worry, I know we can’t, with the kids and everything.’

  ‘Well, apart from quantity, are you happy with our sex life? Is there anything you want that you’re not getting?’ she asked warily. Evie had heard that anal sex was the latest thing; she hoped Craig didn’t want to try that. It sounded gross.

  ‘Ah, nuh,’ he shrugged. ‘Not really.’

  Evie sat bolt upright. That didn’t exactly sound reassuring. ‘What do you mean, “not really”?’

  ‘Nothing,’ he said. ‘I mean, there are things, but I don’t reckon you’d be into them.’

  Oh no, he did mean anal sex. But if this was really important to him, she’d have to try it. But surely it must hurt? She wondered if there was a way to make it . . . easier. She could google it. God, what was she thinking? She couldn’t even imagine what might come up if she googled ‘anal sex’.

  ‘What’s the matter, hun?’ asked Craig. ‘You look pale.’

  Evie took a deep breath. She looked straight at Craig, and then she realised she couldn’t look at him while she said this. She closed her eyes and blurted, ‘Do you want it anally?’

  ‘What?’ he exclaimed.

  Evie opened her eyes, relieved to see the shock on his face.

  ‘You think I’m a bloody poofter?’

  ‘No!’ she assured him quickly. ‘I’ve heard it’s what some men like . . . with women.’

  He grimaced. ‘Still pretty gay if you ask me.’

  She breathed out, putting a hand to her chest. ‘Oh, I’m so relieved,’ she said, collapsing against him.

  He put his arm around her. ‘You funny little puddin’. Where are you getting ideas like that?’

  She shrugged. ‘I don’t know. I think I might have seen it on Sex and the City once.’

  ‘They showed them doing that on Sex and the City?’

  ‘No, they didn’t show it,’ she said. ‘They just talked about it.’

  He laughed. ‘Yeah, that’s all those women did on that bloody show – talk about it.’

  Evie cuddled into her husband and the warm glow she had felt on her drive home today resurfaced. She was so lucky. She wasn’t going to end up like poor Ellen. What was her sister’s life going to be like now? Would she be able to find someone else, someone like Craig, who loved her despite the fact she’d gained a little weight over the years and he was still trim. Well, he had a bit of a beer belly, but what man of his age didn’t? The thing was, he could easily attract a slim woman, if he wanted to. But he didn’t and he hadn’t. He had stayed faithful to Evie, called her his puddin’. Oh, he had a bit of a dig sometimes, but it was only for her own good – like when she went to have a second helping of dessert, or if they were out and she was about to head back to the buffet table one too many times. But despite all that, or even because of it, Evie knew Craig loved her, and that they’d always be together, no matter what.

  ‘You know, you’ve got me thinking though,’ said Craig after a while.

  ‘Mm?’ she murmured, her head on his chest, feeling the beat of his heart . . . that she noticed had just speeded up a little.

  He shifted, turning to face her. Evie looked up at him.

  ‘What is it?’

  ‘Well, I was just thinking, if you were prepared to consider doing that . . .’

  Ruby Weddings

  Edward and Evelyn Beckett (nee Turner): Married 23rd January, forty years ago, at St Swinbourne’s. With all our love and best wishes for another forty years together, Ellen and Tim, Kate and Sam, Emma, Elizabeth, Evie and Craig, Tayla, Jayden and Cody, and Eddie.

  ‘Did you see the announcement in the paper?’ Emma demanded of Evie, hands on hips.

  They had arrived at the house at almost the same time, and Evie was ushering the kids out of the car when Emma marched up to her.

  ‘Hi Aunty Emma!’ Tayla cried, throwing her arms around Emma’s waist and burying her face in the folds of her dress.

  Tayla idolised her Aunty Emma, thought she was so stylish, so beautiful, so much more everything than her mother.


  ‘Tayla, darling,’ Emma said, patting her niece gingerly on the head. ‘Careful of Aunty Emma’s dress, sweetie, it’s silk and it’s very expensive. Look, there’s Uncle Blake, why don’t you go say hi.’

  She removed herself from the child’s clutches before grabbing Evie’s arm and yanking her aside.

  ‘So, did you see the announcement?’

  ‘Um, I think, yes,’ Evie said, flustered, turning back in time to witness Jayden shove Cody so he fell onto the grass. ‘Jayden!’

  ‘I got it, love,’ said Craig, scooping Cody up into his arms as he took Jayden by the scruff of the neck. ‘C’mon, you little ratbag.’

  ‘Ow, Dad!’

  ‘Oh, I better –’

  ‘Craig’s handling it,’ Emma snapped, holding firmly onto Evie’s arm. ‘Bloody Ellen, you saw what she wrote? What she put in the newspaper!’

  ‘Um . . .’

  ‘“Ellen and Tim”, “Evie and Craig” . . . “Emma, Elizabeth”!’ she exclaimed. ‘What the hell? What’s Blake? Swiss cheese? For heaven’s sake, he’s my . . . he’s my partner. And she and Tim are separated! She was the one who bloody insisted on telling Mum and Dad before today. So why didn’t she leave him off the announcement?’

  She paused, looking closer at Evie. ‘Are you all right?’

  Evie nodded vaguely.

  ‘You don’t look so well. You’re a bit pale and your eyes are all glassy. Are you coming down with something?’

  ‘I’m . . . I’m just feeling stressed, I have to get all this food inside.’

  ‘Okay, settle down,’ said Emma, giving her arm a rub. ‘Come on, I’ll help you.’

  They walked around to the back of Evie’s car and she lifted the hatch to reveal stacks of Tupperware containers, filling the entire space.

  ‘Whoa Evie,’ Emma exclaimed. ‘You know we have caterers?’

  ‘It’s just what I promised,’ she said quietly.

  ‘Well, I’ll ruin my dress carting all this in,’ Emma declared. ‘Let me pop in and get one of the caterers to help you.’

  ‘Wait,’ Evie gasped, clutching her sister’s arm.

  ‘It’s okay, Evie, you really need to calm down,’ said Emma. ‘The caterers are paid to do this.’

  ‘It’s not that.’ She gave her sister a plaintive look. ‘Can I ask you something?’

  Emma glanced towards the house. Blake and Craig were standing to one side of the front door, nodding and smiling as guests trickled past them. She could see Blake’s irritation from here, especially when he glanced across at her with a look that plainly said, ‘Don’t leave me alone with this idiot.’

  ‘We really should be going in, Evie.’

  ‘I’ll be quick,’ she said urgently. ‘I promise.’

  Emma sighed. ‘Fine, what is it?’

  Evie composed herself, clearing her throat and looking straight at her sister. ‘Have you . . . Don’t think I’m strange, okay?’

  ‘Okay,’ said Emma, growing impatient.

  She took a breath. ‘Have you ever done it with anyone else?’

  Emma frowned. ‘What on earth?’

  ‘Please just answer the question, it’s really important. I’ll explain later.’

  ‘Well, of course I have,’ she said. ‘Sorry to shock you, Evie, but I wasn’t a virgin when I met Blake, and neither was he.’

  ‘No no, I’m not explaining myself properly,’ she shook her head. ‘I mean, since Blake.’

  ‘What? No, of course not, we’re completely faithful to each other,’ she declared indignantly. ‘God, you don’t take us seriously either, because we’re not married. You’re just like Ellen –’

  ‘No, sorry, of course I take you seriously,’ Evie insisted. ‘I just . . .’

  ‘Hey, you two.’

  They turned to see Liz strolling across the grass towards them.

  ‘Mum and Dad are wondering what’s happened to you,’ she said, drawing closer. ‘You’ve got to get inside. Tim’s here, and the menfolk are all standing around shuffling their feet; they don’t know what to say to each other. It’s getting awkward.’

  ‘Come on, Evie,’ said Emma, taking her sister’s arm and leading her towards the house. ‘We’ll talk about it later.’

  ‘What are you talking about?’ said Liz.

  ‘Never mind,’ Evie said weakly.

  Ellen looked relieved to see her sisters walking down the hallway. ‘Here they are,’ she announced.

  Edward and Evelyn appeared just as relieved, rushing forward to break away from the group of disparate sons-in-law.

  ‘Hello darling,’ said Edward as he gave Emma a hug. ‘You look like a million dollars.’

  ‘You’re probably not far off there,’ said Evelyn. ‘Honestly, Em, it’s just family and our old friends, no one to impress here,’ she laughed. ‘Are you okay, Evie? You don’t look so well.’

  ‘I’m fine. Happy anniversary, Mum,’ said Evie, returning her hug.

  ‘Liz, take a look at your sister,’ Evelyn persisted. ‘Don’t you think she’s pale?’

  ‘Liz is a dermatologist, Mum,’ Emma sighed.

  ‘Darling, she had to become a regular doctor first, how do you think she got to be a specialist?’

  ‘Ah, and here’s Eddie!’

  ‘Eddie!’ the girls all chorused.

  They adored their baby brother, who was, of course, not a baby any more, but a tall, handsome twenty-six-year-old man who didn’t actually need five mothers fussing over him. But they couldn’t help themselves. They had doted on him since he was a baby, fiercely protected him once he started school, and never stopped bossing him around and telling him how to live his life since. Then he’d started bringing the odd girl home. Well, they were all odd, as far as the Beckett sisters were concerned. It seemed that no one was good enough for their Eddie, so there was only one way for Eddie to deal with that. He stopped bringing dates home at all. Then the girls started to worry that he wasn’t seeing anyone, that perhaps he was . . .

  ‘Not that there’s anything wrong with that,’ Ellen had stated clearly for the record at the time.

  ‘But Mum and Dad will be so disappointed,’ Evie lamented.

  ‘Why?’ Emma wanted to know.

  ‘Well, because you know, he is the only son, carrying on the family name and all that.’

  ‘Evie, we’re not all as old-fashioned as you,’ said Emma. ‘I’ll be keeping my name when Blake and I get married.’

  ‘You two are talking about marriage already?’ Ellen raised an eyebrow. ‘You’ve only been going out a couple of months.’

  ‘Yes, but I know he’s the one,’ Emma said airily. ‘I expect him to propose before the year is out.’

  ‘But what surname will you give the kids?’ Ellen persisted. ‘Won’t Blake want to have his?’

  She shrugged. ‘Maybe we’ll hyphenate.’

  ‘But his name’s already hyphenated,’ Liz remarked. ‘It’d be Chamberlain-Smith-Beckett. Or Beckett-Chamberlain-Smith.’

  ‘Either way it’s a mouthful,’ Ellen muttered.

  ‘I don’t know,’ Emma sniffed. ‘All I’m saying is that there are other ways to pass on the family name, it’s not all on Eddie’s shoulders. And we better get used to the idea, because I think there’s a good chance he’s gay. I’ve got a bit of a nose for these things.’

  ‘Eddie is not gay,’ Liz said flatly.

  ‘Just because you don’t want him to be –’

  ‘I wouldn’t care if he was, but he’s not, okay?’

  Emma narrowed her gaze. ‘You’re saying that like you have inside information.’

  ‘He goes out with girls all the time,’ said Liz. ‘One even lasted six months, we nearly got to meet her.’

  ‘How do you know all this?’ asked Ellen.

  ‘Oh, we were having drinks one night, it just came out,’ she said vaguely.

  ‘Why is he keeping it from us?’ Emma was indignant.

  Ellen sighed then. ‘Why do you think? We’ve only got ourselves to
blame.’

  The sisters had vowed then and there to back off the next time Eddie brought a girl home, but they hadn’t had the chance.

  ‘So are you seeing anyone we should know about, Eddie?’ Emma asked him now.

  ‘Nope,’ he said simply.

  ‘Your mistake was in the wording, Em,’ Ellen winked. ‘Are you seeing anyone, Eddie?’

  He shook his head with a wry smile. Emma scooped her arm through his and drew him aside.

  ‘Did you see the announcement in the paper?’ she asked him.

  ‘Um, yeah.’

  ‘No comment?’

  He shrugged. ‘It was nice?’

  ‘Didn’t you notice? Blake wasn’t included. Don’t you think that’s rude?’

  ‘Maybe it was just family.’

  ‘Blake’s not considered family, then? Is that what you’re saying?’

  ‘I’m not saying anything, Em, I didn’t write the announcement.’

  ‘No, Ellen did,’ said Emma. ‘So of course Tim was included.’

  ‘Well, he’s still family, he is the father of the kids.’

  ‘And Blake is my partner.’

  Eddie looked at her. ‘I know, and he should have been included, Em. I just don’t think Ellen’s thinking straight right now. Maybe we should cut her a bit of slack.’

  Emma felt like she was being chastised, like she was the one in the wrong. So Ellen was going to get away with murder because of the separation, and everyone was going to have to pussyfoot around her? Emma certainly hoped there was some kind of statute of limitations on that.

  ‘I better go say hi to Tim,’ said Eddie. I haven’t seen him since . . . you know.’

  Ellen came out of the kitchen and noticed Eddie talking to Tim in a corner of the living room. Bless him. She was grateful everyone was making such an effort. She didn’t mind that Tim had come, and she realised it was probably polite to stay for the speeches and cake, but Ellen would actually be relieved when he finally left. The whole point of being separated was to lead separate lives, but trying to keep things amicable was going to blur those lines quite a bit. She hoped Tim understood he really had to make a life of his own. She worried about him; he wasn’t the most socially adept person, he’d always piggy-backed onto her life, her family, and he didn’t seem to have any independent friends or interests. She really didn’t want to think of him sitting alone in his flat, waiting for his weekends with the kids to come around.