Evil God Average 【First Half – Book of Evil】

by First Half- Book of Evil (epub)

  “I see. Speaking of the Hero, they came to this dungeon the other day.”

  “What? What were they like?”

  I told Leonora about the Hero(lol) party that invaded this dungeon the other day. When I told her that they were muscle-brains that ran away even though they came as far as the 10th floor, she held her sides, bursting into laughter.

  “Pff-, ku-ku-ku… T-, They got depressed over that puzzle and gave up, going home? …AHAHAHAHAHA-!”

  “It looked like the even the Holy Sword’s guidance couldn’t solve the puzzle.”

  “I-, I’m begging you, don’t make me laugh any more… M-, My sides are splitting… I-, It hurts… ku-ku-ku…-!!!”

  Seeing her continue to laugh in tears, I started to feel like a little mischief.

  “You were stumped for an hour too, though.”

  “PFFT-!? Y-, You were watching!?”

  The moment I commented, Leonora turned shocked and bright red, and averted her eyes. What she was ridiculing the Hero(lol) Party for came back like a boomerang and pierced her.

  “F-, From what I hear, that Hero seems to be an Orthodox Hero, huh.”

  Ah. She’s trying to distract me. I could poke at her some more, but her words have me wondering, so I’ll leave it for now.

  “What’s an Orthodox Hero? Are there different types of Heroes too?”

  “Yeah, it’s a classification that our demon side came up with. Has that made the idea unfamiliar to the humans? Amongst the demon race, those called Heroes amongst the public are separated into three types. The people of this world who gain the divine protection of the God of Light are the Orthodox Heroes, the ones summoned from another world are the Summoned Heroes, and the ones who arbitrarily declare themselves heroes are the Self-Proclaimed Heroes. From least to most troublesome, you have the Summoned Heroes, the Orthodox Heroes, and the Self-Proclaimed Heroes.”

  Are Other World Summonings something that happens often? Or maybe there are other people in this world that are in the same situation as me. I don’t have any intent of going out of my way to find them, but if we met by chance, it’d be nice to have a chat, huh.

  But still, isn’t the order that Leonora gave kind of strange?

  “You didn’t get the order wrong? The Self-Proclaimed Hero sounds the weakest, but…”

  ‘Yeah, they are. Hm, if you arrange it from strongest to weakest, it’s still Summoned Hero, Orthodox Hero, Self-Proclaimed Hero. The chance that someone summoned from another world has powerful skills is high, so there are lots of them that are stronger than Orthodox Heroes.”

  So it’s normal even in this world that summoned people have OP skills, huh? Speaking of OP skills, mine probably count in a way, but… honestly speaking, I’d like to pass them over to someone else.

  “Then why is the Self-Proclaimed Hero the most annoying one?”

  “Even though they’re weak, they pop up one after another without end. What’s more, most of them aren’t much different from hoodlums, you know? Going around killing, raping, stealing as they please, they’re no different than bandits. They’re the highest priority target amongst we demons.”

  Ahh, I guess it makes sense that self-alleged heroes with no qualifications would be massive attention seekers and self-centred, huh.

  “I see. Then what about Summoned Heroes being the easiest to deal with?”

  “They have powerful skills so when you fight them they’re strong, but to begin with they’re not people from this world, after all, so they don’t have much reason to fight. Most of the time you can avoid them by using their weak point, or by winning them over. There’s even the statistics that when the Demon King is a woman, or when they have a little sister or daughter, the Hero changes sides over 80% of the time.”

  …That’s terrible.

  But well, I guess people who’ll agree after being suddenly kidnapped and told to fight would be in the minority, huh.

  ◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆

  “By the way, I have a request.”

  “Mn? What?”

  Now that we’ve finished discussing the basics of the Heroes, I remembered that there was something I wanted to ask of her.

  “Please teach magic to Tena and I.”

  Since I’ve already made friends with somebody who seems like they’d be able to use darkness magic, I’d like to take this chance to have her teach us. Both Tena and I only have the skill without any knowledge, so it was just pearls thrown before swine. To give an example, it’s like somebody with pro baseball level batting skills, but zero knowledge of the game, I guess.

  If darkness magic was also like the dungeon master skills in that I could just use it somehow, things would be a lot easier, but it seems that not everything can go so well. Or it could be that being able to just somehow use dungeon related abilities isn’t because of the skills, but because of my title.

  “It’s not as if I won’t teach you, but darkness magic is specific to the demon race, you know? You are technically humans, aren’t you?”

  That “technically” was unnecessary.

  “It’s fine. We have the skills.”

  “What? Ah, is that also a skill that the 『Evil God』 gave you? Then fine, I don’t mind.”

  Alright! Instructor, GET.

  With this, I too make my debut as a mahou shoujo; Jashin Shoujo Terrible Anri starts n-… ever.

  I don’t think I’ll have a chance to use magic in the future either, but there’s probably no loss in learning it for self-defence when the time comes. If I had to say, then rather than me who’s a hikikomori, it’s more necessary to Tena who goes out to town, though.

  …*

  …*

  …*

  What’s more, three hours later, that Leonora ended up sitting on the floor, hugging her knees with a distant look is not my fault.

  “I-, I even lost to Tena…”

  “Umm, I’m sorry?”

  “That’s okay.”

  A student is someone who’s supposed to surpass their teacher, you know. Well, we only beat her in magic though.

  Cthulhu Average – 18

  So uh, I don’t have any consoles right now besides the original Xbox, which I got a looong time ago. And um, on the Xbox, among my favourite games were DOA3 and DOA2U.

  I just felt they were quite pretty, and the flow of the game appealed to me better than things like Tekken 3 and 4. Somehow the hits felt weightier and more explosive. It might have been the sound effects. It might have been the settings on the physics engine. I guess I’ll never know.

  And the music and character designs appealed to me more as well. But uh, mmn, because I don’t have a 360 or Xbox one, I’m only playing a DOA game again after DOA5 Last Round came out on steam. Ein is wearing mesh shirts as usual. Everytime I see his nipples, all this nostalgia for DOA2U comes flooding back.

  But wow. Some things have changed. I’m not really sure what happened in the interim between 2U and 5LR, but apparently the costumes in DOA have started defying physics at some point.

  But um, idunno. It’s not like I hate it. It looks a little silly that Hitomi can perform doumawashigeri with the flowers still keeping her decent, but maybe some people like that sort of thing. There are crazy tengu and ninja explodey magic in the world of Dead or Alive, so perhaps this costume is enchanted somehow. Or perhaps not.

  DLC costume packs are going for 70 dollars each. I am okay with this. I wouldn’t buy them myself, but I respect their attempt to moneygrab using cuteness and sex appeal.

  Marie Rose in a sukumizu is powerful stuff. I am not a lolicon.

  Marie Rose in anything is powerful stuff. I am not a lolicon.

  When you read chapter 18 and find out that this was my favourite chapter in the whole series, you may begin to doubt this, but I maintain the position that I am not a lolicon.

  Wow, Marie Rose in overalls just came up in the dlc slideshow. Powerful stuff. Not a lolicon.

  Anyway, chapter below. Thanks for bea
ring with me thus far. Tell me if this chapter is also your favourite. (:

  * * *

  Chapter 18 – Mad Feast

  I’ve turned the entrance part of the dungeon into a fairly large hall. Because it’s also the place that I chuck all the unconscious adventurers of all the other floors to, I’ve made it into a place with extra room. Enough room that people could hold a bit of a gathering there. When you add on the fact that monsters can’t enter the room with the entrance, as well as the fact that there would be nobody reckless enough to go out of their way to come to a dungeon at night, it means deep in the night, that there wouldn’t be anyone to get in your way.

  …But that doesn’t mean you can hold your damned sabbaths here.

  ◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆

  Leonora who had become my friend the other day promised to visit again before continuing her journey, but the rumour she heard in Riemel──that the Evil God was living in this dungeon──was on my mind, so I had Tena head to town to investigate.

  The result was that I discovered that there were two sources to that rumour.

  The first was 1~2 months ago, when around the time that the dungeon transformed, there was an attack on a church belonging to the Sacred Light Church. In the middle of broad daylight, some being attacked the church, easily broke through the barrier that should have repelled evil, and then left with a sneer.

  The second was a certain piece of equipment found in this dungeon. The sword blessed by the Evil God contained a terrifying curse and power, and was guessed to have been directly enchanted by the Evil God.

  Because of these two facts, a rumour about the Evil God living in this dungeon began to be spread.

  …I have no idea what those two incidents are about. Absolutely no idea, I said.

  …*

  I don’t know how far the rumour’s spread, but at the very least, it’s apparently been spread enough that Evil God worshippers have gathered in large numbers. This is something that I’m realising keenly enough that I’m getting a headache because of what I’m seeing on screen.

  There was a bonfire lit in the middle of the room, and what’s more, I don’t know where they brought it from, but oddly they have a large cauldron on top of it. There was a suspicious liquid boiling inside the cauldron, and it was surrounded by a faint pink smoke. I’m seeing this through a screen so I don’t know how it smells, but it isn’t hard to imagine that there’s a strong odour spread throughout that room.

  Surrounding the bonfire were close to a hundred people looking the way they did when they were brought into this world, and displaying shameful behaviour. There were those dancing madly with all their heart, as well as those embracing each other and indulging in each others’ bodies nearby. Perhaps the smoke that’s filling the room is some sort of drug, but everyone seems to be in ecstasy.

  Truly a mad frenzy of a feast, befitting of being called a black sabbath. It definitely doesn’t feel like I can stay sane watching this scene, but as the master of this dungeon, I have to properly observe them. I’m definitely not peeking on them because I’m hugely curious.

  As the feast went on, their excitement grew even further, until it finally reached the climax. Amongst the screams, only one person remained clothed and stepped forward into the centre of the room.

  He was a young blonde man, who looked to be in the early half of his 20s, and with a handsome face, was clad in a priest’s outfit. When he stood in front of the cauldron, he raised his right hand before the followers before him. That moment, the frenzied feast stopped all at once, and a tense silence filled the room.

  『We now begin the ritual of offerings!』

  To the young priest’s voice, shouts of joy that surpassed even the feast thus far spread through the room as though tearing apart the silence. In the midst of this abnormal atmosphere, four large men carried forth a stone table, and placed it before the young priest.

  Since they said ‘offerings’, are they going to perform a sacrificial ritual? Usually goats are sacrificed, right?

  Judging from the atmosphere I can see on screen, I’m getting a bad feeling, though.

  As though confirming my premonitions, what they brought forth was a girl of about 8 years old, dressed in a plain outfit. With chestnut hair that reached her shoulders, the girl had her hands bound before her, and a gag stuffed in her mouth, and was being forcefully brought out in front of them.

  And then, perhaps realising that she was going to be attacked, with tears in her eyes she frantically tried to resist, but it was just the strength of a young child after all, and she could only offer a meagre resistance.

  When she was brought to the stone altar, she was stripped of what she was wearing, and with her hands pulled out above her head, her hands and legs were bound and fixed to the altar by a rope that ran along under it.

  『Nnnnnn――――――!!』

  The girl tried to kick and struggle, but the rope tightly stopped her, and the best she could do was twist her body a little. While looking down at the girl, the young priest brought out a dagger from his pocket. To that deadly weapon that glinted in the light, the girl shook her head as though saying no, no, but there was nobody there that cared.

  『O god of ours, please accept our humble offering.』

  Having said that, the young priest aimed the overhead dagger at the girl’s heart, and unwaveringly brought it down, and… wai-, that’s no joke!

  I was being overwhelmed by this unreal spectacle, but suddenly coming back to my senses, I flusteredly activated the transfer circle above the altar, and teleported the girl to where I was. After an instant of light, the bound and gagged girl was lying down in front of me.

  It was some pretty close timing so, feeling worried, I checked how the girl was, but there was no blood coming out of that young chest of hers. I was touching the centre of her chest to check it out, but perhaps because of the fear of almost being killed, her heart was currently pounding away, but at least I could definitely feel a heartbeat.

  It seems that I made it in time.

  ..*

  While I was feeling relieved, the high pitched sound of something breaking reached my ears.

  Wondering what it was, I turned around, and what reached my eyes was Tena standing at the entrance to the room, and fragments of porcelain scattered by her feet. It seems that Tena had intended on bringing me tea, but accidentally dropped and broke the tea set. I was going to tell her to clean it up seeing as she showed no signs of moving for some reason, but seeing the expression on her face made me swallow my words.

  “A-, Anri-sama…”

  Shock, anger, grief, despair… with an expression filled with those mixed emotions, she was looking my way, stiffened up. I have no intention of scolding her that badly just for breaking a tea set though.

  “W-, Wh-, Who is that child…?”

  Her words reminded me that it wasn’t just me in her gaze, and she was looking at the little girl that was the other person in the room. Seeing the girl who was looking up at me with tearful eyes and a terrified expression, I suddenly calmly came back to myself, and tried looking at our situation from an objective point of view.

  A little girl of about 8 years old was stripped nude, with her hands and feet bound and her mouth gagged with tears in her eyes.

  And seemingly looming over that girl was I, who was touching her slim chest.

  I-, It’s a pervert… Wai-, that’s wrong!

  Having understood how I looked, I tried to explain to Tena in a fluster, and turned towards her.

  “I can expla-…”

  “──── -!”

  Before I could call out to her, Tena burst out of the room in tears.

  Wai-, stop. Don’t run.

  At least tidy up the broken tea set.

  ◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆

  It’s become quite a headache. If I don’t properly explain things to Tena later, it’ll become a fixed impression that not on
ly am I into other women, I have a preference for little girls. I also have to do something about this girl that’s bound and lying on the floor.

  But what I really need to urgently deal with before anything else, is the sabbath with the vanished sacrifice. Because it was something I did in the spur of the moment, I have to fix it up somehow. What’s more, I don’t want something like this to happen again either, so I need to do something about that as well.

  And so, I’ll be undoing your bindings later, but sorry, I’ll need to have you lying on the ground for a little longer, girl.

  When I looked at the screen, the followers were naturally in a great uproar about the sacrifice that disappeared the instant it was killed. There were also people who were terrified because of this unforseen incident happening during a holy ritual. But when the young priest with the dagger turned around and raised his hand, the uproar quieted down.

  『Have you all not seen it yourself!? Our god has accepted our humble offering.』

  After the followers quieted down for an instant, they raised an explosive cheer. After the young priest gave a satisfied nod, he turned back to the altar and waited there silently. He was probably thinking that the god they worshipped would show a response, and was continuing to wait there, hoping for a reaction.

  In this situation, it’ll get troublesome if I don’t respond, huh? I really just want to ignore this and go to sleep, but if I do that, I can’t predict what these guys will do.

  Now then, what should I do? After having snatched the girl myself, I doubt they’d listen if I told them at this point that I didn’t need sacrifices after all, and if I gave the girl back, she’d probably be killed. Having said that though, if I praise them well done, then the possibility that they’ll continue to do this from now on is high.

  『…Untasty.』

  After thinking about it, I decided to compromise. It’s a tactic where I tell them that I didn’t like the sacrifice they gave me, and next time to bring something else.

  Ah-, I forgot to use the cursed Tena doll. Well, I guess that’s fine this time.

  『Eh-? Ah-… Please excuse us! Umm, did it not suit your esteemed palate?』