by HJ Bellus
“What?” I ask, craning my neck.
“Make me feel. I’ve never felt or lived life. You make me want to. How do you do it?”
I lift her chin with my pointer finger until she’s looking up at me. “You do it, Shug. You’re doing it all on your own. I’m just lucky enough to be along for the ride.”
“I love you, Hart. I love you so much, and I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you.”
“No need, Shug, no need to be sorry.”
15
Savannah Ray
We spend the day in our pajamas with Maria. Hart told Peaches I wouldn’t be in today and she only nodded. Hart rented ‘How To Lose A Guy in Ten Days’ online and we finished. The movie was hilarious.
My fingers run through Hart’s long hair on my lap. He’s out like a light, falling asleep halfway through the film. The boy’s snoring could bring down the rooftop.
“You okay, sweetie?” Maria asks from her recliner.
She’d been silently working on a crossword puzzle. Her question forces my stare from her son’s face up to hers.
“I think so,” I whisper, trying not to wake Hart.
“You know, honey, you can tell me anything. My son loves you and I’ve never seen that boy attach himself to anyone.”
I tilt my head in silent question.
“Growing up it was always his job to protect his sister and me. When Belle died, he spent all of his hours watching over me and keeping his father from beating me.” She pauses for a beat, placing down her pen. “He’d step in front of him and take the blows. Then I sent him straight into active war. He’s never openly loved someone as he does you.”
My fingers continue to comb out Hart’s hair as I listen to her, soaking up her message. The tears well up in my eyes. It’s the truth, and I know it. This man asleep in my arms would do anything to protect me. It’s taken me time to realize it, but I know beyond a doubt he would.
“Last night…last.” I stumble over my own words. “Last night I told him everything.”
Maria only nods and smiles. “And look where he’s at right now.”
She gestures with her head to her sleeping son in my lap. The tears spill over this time. With my quivering, free hand I raise my shirt, exposing the hidden secrets to Maria. I still don’t have the courage to look down or run my palm over the scarred flesh. I picture my torso like Hart makes me feel and that’s all I need.
Just like her son, she doesn’t flinch or offer up her sympathy. Her kind eyes stare into mine until I dig up the courage to speak.
“I was set on fire at age four and lived in foster homes. I ran after some abuse. There were several towns and terrible situations. I wandered aimlessly, traveled all over the United States until I found the homeless shelter here and Peaches.”
She’s silent for a long time before she speaks her next words. “And that journey brought you to Hart.”
That simple reply strikes me at my core. My purpose and reason to roam this world is the sleeping man in my lap, who would do anything to protect me and the ones he loves. His list is short and to be on it is more than an honor.
My lower lip trembles when I speak. “Thank you. Thank you so much for giving me the world.”
Maria smiles gently. “Honey, it’s you who has given me the world. My days are numbered and to know my boy will be taken care of means everything to me.”
“I promise, Maria. I’ll cherish him for all my days.” On instinct, I bend over and kiss his cheek.
Maria picks up her pen to finish her puzzle. I’m not quite sure how many answers she actually gets down, but it’s one of her favorite past times. Just like her son, no one can tell them to back down. Powerful and determined minded souls who never give up.
I finish watching the next show that popped up on the screen. I have no clue what it is or even the plot line. The scenes just flash before my eyes as reality hits me hard. It’s a sucker punch to the gut. I have it all for the first time in my life.
I notice the time after an hour passes by. It’s time for Maria’s medication and for her to be put in bed. I peer down to the sleeping Hart. If I had to guess, he didn’t sleep one wink last night after the bombshell that exploded between us. I do my best to wiggle out from underneath Hart without waking him. Once I’m standing up, and he’s still snoring soundly, I make my way to Maria and gently wake her up.
Her eyes are dull, yet acutely aware of everything that’s going on around her. I pick her up the same way Hart does. I don’t make it look as effortless as Hart. However, she’s still light in my arms. I manage to get her dressed in pajamas and tucked in bed. Her medication is labeled clearly for each day and the exact time of day. Immediately, I recognize Hart’s scribble and smart-ass comments on the bottles and notepads.
Maria swallows down the handful of pills. Hart has explained to me it’s mainly for pain control, not healing.
“Do you mind reading with me?” Maria looks up to me. “It’s something Hart and I do every night.”
I bite my bottom lip. “I’d love to, Maria.”
She pats the bed next to her. I take her sign and lie right next to her. She begins reading, and I know the characters all too well. The story line has me drunk on it. I’m still far from reading but have no fear knowing that this woman who gave me Hart will not judge me.
We take turns reading. Each time she helps me sound out a word with no judgment. We read until her eyelids fall thick. Once she’s sound asleep, I creep out of her room to check on Hart. He’s just as sound asleep as he was when I left him.
My ass hits the floor, and my legs cross. I grip the pen in my hand and grab the notebook at my side. I study his peaceful sleeping face for a long time before I have the ability to gather a thought. I’ve written songs before in my own language, but this time the words resemble real words on the page.
The tune to the song beats wildly in my heart, and I let the words flow on the page. It’s his song. The man who taught me to live and breathe again. My hand cramps by the time I’m finished and yet I still find myself staring at his beauty.
When my ass goes numb and my legs tingle, I slowly rise and make my way to the couch. I grab the blanket from the back of the sofa and cover Hart. He doesn’t rustle at all. I head into the kitchen and grab a glass full of water, swallowing it down easily, then check on Maria while flipping off all the house lights.
It’s a bit creepy going to sleep in this vast house when everyone else is already sound asleep, but I fight away the nerves knowing I’m finally home. I snuggle in with him on the couch and it’s as if Hart senses me, wrapping me up in his arms. It only takes a matter of seconds before my eyes grow heavy and sleep takes over. The scent of Hart making my dreams as sweet as ever.
The ache in my neck is intense and getting worse by the second. When moving, I feel like screaming out in pain. It takes me long moments to finally pry my eyes open. Hart. I come face to face with Hart staring at me and smiling. I blink several times remembering we fell asleep on the couch and we’re still there holding one another.
“Thank God, I’m about to pee on you.”
“Uh? Am I still dreaming?” I whisper.
“I have to piss, and if you don’t move, I’m peeing on you.”
I burst out laughing, nearly peeing myself and then roll off the couch onto the floor. Hart darts down the hall, straight into the bathroom. My laughter rings loudly throughout the house. Hart reappears moments later, and I’m still rolling on the floor laughing.
Hart pounces on me, rolling me over to my back.
“Don’t you dare talk about my morning breath,” I warn him. “And did you wash your hands?”
“One, real men don’t wash their hands, and two, I’ve never been so close to peeing on someone.”
“Hart.” I barely get his name out through my laughter.
“It started out as a case of massive morning wood, but then the sensation to pee was intense. I was left with one option.”
“Peeing on me?”
“Yes.” He rolls us over until I’m lying on top of him.
“Why didn’t you just wake me up?”
“You’re too gorgeous when you’re sleeping and don’t talk back.”
I sit back on his crotch, pressing my palms on his chest, and then go in for a killer titty twister, not stopping until he squeals like a little baby. We wrestle around on the floor for a long time until it’s time to get Maria up and eat breakfast.
16
Hart
I listen to Vannie sound out words, reading the book at her pace. It’s the most comforting sound in the world. I could sit here and hold her all day while listening to her read. She’s picking up the skill quickly. It’s not that she didn’t have the ability to read, but was never comfortable enough in her surroundings to open up and learn.
“Can you believe that bitch in the book?” Vannie whips her head up to me, slamming down the e-reader.
“It hooks you, huh?”
“Yes, I hate her so much. I love to hate her and only keep reading in hopes of her getting what’s coming.”
I chuckle lightly, brushing my hand through her hair. Oh, the book bitch will get her punishment. I’ve already read this book with my mom and know exactly what’s going to happen.
“Shug?”
“Yeah?” She reaches up and kisses my cheek.
“How did you learn to play the guitar?”
She perches up on her elbows, laying flat on her stomach and kicking her legs back and forth. I want to tell her to lie back down on me, but it’s the confidence in her eyes that makes me bite my tongue. It’s been over a week since her break down, and each day I watch her blossom more and more.
“One of the foster families I was with, the mother loved to play guitar. I think she was a music teacher at a school. She was always humming and singing. She’d sing a song to me once, and I could mimic right back. Then she pulled out the guitar and taught me how to play. Reading music seemed as natural as breathing to me.” She wrinkles her nose. “They were actually going to adopt me, but Clara was diagnosed with breast cancer, and it was just all too much.”
“How old were you then?”
“Seven. It’s kind of weird because it’s a memory that I can actually remember in vivid detail.”
“Not weird, a blessing.” I flick the tip of her nose. “You know if you were raised like other kids, you would’ve learned to read in school. Some kids have severe disabilities where they have to work their asses off to learn. You have all the talent, Shug.”
She shines brightly at me. “Thank you.”
“One more question. Why country music?” I ask.
She shrugs, but answers quickly. “It speaks to my soul. I mean, I love all types of music, but something about the roots of country moves me.”
“What time do you have to get ready for work?”
Vannie peers over at the alarm clock on the nightstand. “In two hours, I need to be heading home.”
“Do you ever get tired of looking for a clock somewhere to know what time it is?”
“Um no. Isn’t that what they are for?” Her forehead wrinkles in confusion.
“If you’re old school.” I lift up my ass and pull a phone from my back pocket. “Most use these.”
She stares at the phone for a few beats. Vannie doesn’t yet realize that I’m not holding my iPhone up, so I twirl it around in my hand showing her the custom made case with a guitar on the back. She stares at it for a few seconds, still not recognizing what I’m giving her.
“Did you get a new phone case?” She points up with one finger then relaxes her elbow back into the mattress. “Why a guitar? I mean, I could see if it was a heavy metal one or a candy case, but you don’t like country music, and that’s such a country mu…”
Her words die on the tip of her tongue. Realization dawns on her features.
“Welcome to the world, Savannah Ray.” I extend the phone toward her.
Vannie leaps up onto all fours, giving me an entirely different idea of where this could lead us, but all too quickly she plops on her ass sitting cross-legged next to me.
“I…uh, I…um.”
“Speechless,” I finish for her.
She nods her head. I push the phone closer to her, giving her time to take it from my hand. She finally reaches out with shaky fingers and takes the phone. Another first we are sharing. It never gets old watching her experience one.
“I don’t even know what to do.” She beams at me with pride.
I sit up on the bed, leaning back against the headboard then I pull her between my wide spread legs. Her back relaxes back onto my chest. My arms wrap low around her front, and I kiss her neck then smell her before cell phone 101 commences.
“That round button on the bottom is the home button. Push it twice, and your phone is on. You’ll see your home screen.”
I pause giving Vannie time to give it a go. I reach up and put the phone to sleep and then instruct her to do it again. I explain where her contacts are, how to make a phone call, and a text message. It’s enough crucial information for now.
“Now, to your pictures.”
She gasps. “I’ve seen you take pictures of us on your phone.”
I nod while biting back my chuckle. My hands snake up her shirt rubbing up and down her belly. It’s something I do every chance I get. I want to rub and soothe away all of her pain until she sees herself as beautiful as I see her.
“Tap the photo icon up in the right-hand corner.”
Vannie does with excited fingers then she squeals loudly. “Hart!”
“I took some pictures for you.” I kiss her neck as she scrolls through the photos.
“Of course, you’d have that damn hat in them.”
“Now, when you miss me you just have to look at your phone.”
“Oh, I don’t know if I’ll be able to look at some of these at work,” she whispers, running the pad of her finger over a picture of me laying in bed barely covered by a sheet.
“On your break, Shug, you can go into a private room and…”
“Hart.” She slaps my thigh with her free hand. “Stop. Teach me how to take a picture.”
“Okay, go back to your home screen.”
Vannie works her phone like a seasoned vet, further confirming my beliefs that the girl’s brilliant and smarter than she gives herself credit for. I instruct her how to open the camera app, which buttons will snap the picture, and how to flip the camera.
“Say cheese,” she chirps out, aiming the camera at us.
Her smile is contagious. Vannie snaps a picture of us with cheesy grins and completely in love. I show her how to add it to her home screen and then give her a test run of texting me a picture.
I programmed my number, Peaches’, The Shade Tree, and our home number into her phone. I’ll wait to show her the rest of the magic the iPhone possesses because the antennae standing at attention between my legs needs some attention.
Vannie gasps when I whirl her around and push her back into the mattress. My hands push her up the bed until her head is at the foot of the bed. Then I pull down her shorts and panties, spreading her legs wide.
I crawl between her legs with a devilish look on my face. I live for her taste. It’s quickly become my biggest addiction. Vannie perches up on her elbows, staring down at me. She loves watching me touch her and making her lose control.
My mouth attaches to her clit, licking and sucking on it, savoring her sweet, sweet taste. Two of my fingers fill her, working in and out of her. Vannie moans, struggling to hold still to be able to watch me devour her.
Her tight pussy clenches down on my fingers letting me know she’s just on the edge. When I peek up at her, I see she has the phone sideways, aiming it down at me. I stare into the phone with my mouth still eating her out. I smile against her sensitive parts for the picture. That slight action sends her into a blissful state.
The phone drops to the bed, she throws her head back and clutches on to a handful of my hair, t
ugging it while pushing my face further down into her. Vannie’s legs go limp on the bed. I crawl up her body until I’m kissing her face. She licks her taste off my lips then kisses the hell out of me. I growl into her mouth, nearly blowing my fucking load in my jeans.
“Can I?” she stutters out her question.
“Can you what, Shug?” I kiss her between each word.
“Do what you just did to me.”
This gets all of my damn attention. Everything inside of me wants to roll on my back and whip my dick out for her sweet lips to glide up and down me. I’m like a damn dog begging for a treat.
“Do you want to?” I cup her face.
She nods then pushes up on my chest. She does nothing to move me, but I oblige her. She needs to feel in control of everything, taking charge for herself. My legs spread for her as she settles on her knees between them. While she fiddles with the button and zipper on my jeans, I can’t help but reach up and cup her tits, massaging her nipples through the thin material.
When her tiny hand reaches down into my boxers pulling out my rock hard cock, I growl loudly and buck up into the air. This is going to take some serious fucking willpower on my end. Vannie stares down at my dick, biting on her bottom lip.
My hand moves to cup her cheek sitting halfway up. “Shug, you don’t have to.”
“I don’t want to hurt you,” she whispers.
I can’t help the chuckle that escapes. “You could bite my dick off, and I’d probably enjoy it.”
She blushes then goes for it. She kisses the tip, causing me to hiss, then darts out her tongue, swirling it around my head.
“Fuck, Vannie,” I growl. “So good, so damn good, baby.”
My words encourage her. She takes me in her mouth, gliding up and down with her sweet mouth. My spine stiffens when she begins lightly rolling my balls in her hand. With each glide, she goes deeper and deeper until the head of my cock hits the back of her throat.
I wind my hand into her curly hair, guiding her pace. Lights behind my eyes burst, and I go fucking manic with the pleasure she’s giving me. It’s record fucking time for exploding just from a blow job.